This is a sample chapter of my Online Mentorship Program...
When you're meeting women online, what's the very first thing you look at on her profile? Her PHOTOS. Guess what the first thing women look at when they're looking at YOUR profile? Photos...and since a picture paints a thousand words, photos make up around 50% of how successfull your profile is.
How successfull your profile is determines...
- How many women will write YOU first, and whether they're eagerly awaiting your reply or just "mwah..we'll see"
- How compelled the women you sent a message to will be to reply. While the message itself already compells her, when she sees your GREAT profile afterwards she'll reply faster AND warmer...so your profile is basically a MULTIPLIER of the success your message already gave you
This is why I want to "beat the crap" out of this KEY area of your profile, so you won't only have mastered it, but permanently conquered it PAST the point of planting the flag!
Photo Pitfalls That Will RUIN Your Chances With Women
There are ways to define your success, there are ways to multiply it...and then there are ways to shoot yourself in the foot and never get a single date thanks to meeting women online EVER. Here's what you should AVOID at all costs...
- The finger bandit...seriously, it's NOT cool when you put photos on your profile where you accidently had a finger in front of the lense when it was taken. Whatever you had going for yourself behind the finger, you can throw in the trashcan...because a finger looks like you can't even handle a simple little "machine" such as a photo camera, leading women to thinking: "what ELSE can't this guy handle?" plus, some will laugh at you for this, I'm not kidding...
- Red eyes...we all know those photos taken from the wrong angle, with the wrong lighting or whatever that ends up being an image of you having red eyes. If you put those on your profile, they'll think the same as with fingers in front of the lense: "is this the BEST thing he has going for himself?" The only time you can get away with this one is if you edit your photo with some software, OR…instead, put red horns above all the people with the red eyes and call the photo "Sweet & Innocent"...THEN it all of a sudden becomes a photo where you're being playful, and naughty..
- Vague photos...way to many guys have photos on their profiles taken with BAD cameras: they're visible, but the quality of the image is so poor that it looks like it's snowing INSIDE their houses, LOL. Simply don't. Next to this, avoid photos with bad lighting (where only part of your face, the setting or the people you're with is visible because it's dark with no lights around).
- Objects...if you have photos of objects or you WITH objects, that may seem great to YOU: "this is my car" or "this is my diploma" or "my medals" or whatever...but to women? It comes across as BRAGGING about it, and you are. Women like a bit of arrogance, but bragging is being OVERLY arrogant...which turns them off.
- One man army...you have ALL that space on your profile, but end up putting only ONE (or only 2 or 3) photos on your profile? That's handicapping yourself my friend, because since photos make up such a BIG chunk of your profile success? You better be damn sure that you use it as much as you can to build attraction, show different sides of yourself and more! Those who still only put a few or a single photos up there, great...reserve a "parking spot for handicapped people" while you're at it!
- Macho man...this only actually has me laughing my ass off together with my girlfriends: guys bragging about their body in their profiles. They'll have photos of them with no shirt on to show the chest and sixpack, sometimes even as the MAIN PHOTO of their profile...which is the photo people will see when they find you in the search results. Really desperate women may fall for this, but remember: bragging PREVENTS game, it doesn't help it and on top of that...where's the wishful thinking, the mystery? I can guarantee you that TELLING them about how you like to work-out in a compelling way will have them fantasizing WAY more then you with a photo saying "here’s my sixpack, so take me now please..." it's almost like you're trying to get her approval with your body, so don't. Photos without shirts, pants, etc. are a no no. And by all means: no violence, action movie, crashes kinda stuff okay? That's great for men, but horrifying to women..
- Drug abuse...you may think it's fun to have a photo of you or one or all of your friends puking their guts out or being drunk to "make her see you have an exciting life" but that's what YOU think is exciting, while she's thinking "ielllll grose! yuck..." and nothing else. Same thing goes for photos of you and friends where you're standing side by side in a bar, all drinking or raising glasses, and you can see all of you had some drinks before...that's not "making her see you're interesting social circle", that's showing her you're an alcoholic. Other kinds of drugs, don't get me started...the only women you'll attract with those photos are women who are junkies themselves, LOL.
- Sameness...in a minute, I'll show you a number of different "styles" of photos that DO increase attention when a woman sees them, but before I go there I want to point out one more mistake: wearing that (almost) same, exact shirt or outfit in almost ALL of your photos. She'll either get bored because you're the same everywhere OR think you're so poor that you can only afford to have one shirt, either way? Not a good idea buddy...same goes for multiple photos with exactly the same people, or background. She'll get bored and think you don't go out that much, or are so reclusive that you only have 1 friend and that he’s called “Playstation”...so variation is key here.
Keys To The Photo Kingdom
Seems like a long list of mistakes, doesn't it? Well, the sad truth is that your male competition DOES make a LOT of mistakes...but that means YOU will have that much more success when you know how to meet and date women online from start to finish.
There are a couple of things you can do though, in almost EVERY photo, that will help you build attraction for you BIG TIME, so just listen to these...
- Smile...they did a study recently where a number of male and female subjects were given two collage with DOZENS of photos, all face shots, and they had to point out who were smiling and who were mad. One collage had 10 smilers in it, the other had 10 angry looking people hidden it among hundred or more photos per collega in total. The researchers discovered the following: males were fastest (with a huge difference) in recognizing the angry people, while women were the fastest with smiling people! This has to do with human history: thousands of years ago, men were hunter-gatherers and needed to protect the women and children from threats like wild beasts, mother nature, rival tribes and so fort and thus needed to recognize hostility as soon as possible. They also did a study on which was more attractive with both sexes: someone with a straight face or someone who was smiling, and the smilers were more attractive. So by all means: genuinely smile in as much photos as you can, not a forced grin but a normal smile...and you'll help your success drastically!
- Body language...while I never ever see men smiling when I go out or on their profiles, they also COMPLETELY lack any other form of facial expression: all straight faces, which means a lack of emotion. Since you want your face to appear in the photos caus' body only shots are not done, I've written an article about facial expressions that's included with this lesson. Check it out now...and afterwards ask yourself: how can I get more attraction thanks to facial expressions on photos? I'll tell you which photos and facial expressions to include in a minute...
- Poses and practice...don't be hard on yourself, thinking you have to get allll your photos JUST right the first time you make them. I was a camera shy guy once, in fact, I actually HATED photos and did everything to avoid being on them: skipping class when it was time for class photos, walking outside the reach of the camera on vacations and other ridiculous things. Until I realized I could actually INCREASE attraction between me and women big time because of them. So here's what I did: once a week, I would do a "photoshoot" of me in 2-3 outfits and would take about 30 photos of me in different poses, from different angles, with a different outfit on, with some facial expressions, backgrounds etc. I would upload those to my pc and would save the 5 very best photos and repeated this process every week. Since you put around 10 photos on your profile? I would select my own little top 10 every month and see if they improved the old ones I already had on my profile. This all helps to get over camera shyness, to make sure you have the best angles and poses, it's the best tip on this list: practice makes perfect.
- Torso shots...by this I mean you should make sure that they won't see mostly your face on each and every photo, because that's limiting your own success. Do photos from the waiste up, or when you're too tall for your face to be visible then? Do photos from the top of your sixpack and up. This way, it's possible for her to see your wardrobe and jewelry and a man who dresses well is sexy to ALL women. Include variation of outfits and she'll see you have style, you're classy, again that's sexy.
- Photo editing...since photos take up quite some space and also represent a BIG part of your profile's success, you want every single one to count, so why not make them count even more? Find someone (or maybe you yourself already ahve the skills) who does damage with photoshop or get software and edit photos yourself to make the lighting even better, to add effects that increase the impact even more...and most of the time this is absolutely FREE! What you can also do is find a professional photographer (not a beginner, someone with establsihed expertise you can ask for previous projects) and let him make several photos of you. He'll know the right poses, the right lighting...everything will come out EXCELLENT once you give descriptions of the types of photos you'd like, and you use the ones mentioned in the next part of this lesson...but it'll cost you a few bucks though.
What Kind Of Photos Should I Have On My Profile?
There are a number of styles of photos that do various thing to increase the attraction she will feel for you...so let's review them one by one shall we?
What's a face shot? It's a passport kind of photo taken from your face only, where you're entire face is on it. Since most women aren't customs employees however, face shots won't help you one bit if you're just on there with a straight face...which is why you should either go for a genuine smile (why this works is explained above) or a playful face shot.
A playful face shot is one where you seem to be enjoying yourself on your own all too well: looking directly in the camera while smiling with your tongue sticking out is a GREAT example of it. Most of them have a little more torso on it than regular face shots, but it's called one because the face is the only thing interesting that's visible on that photo. Why does this one work? Women aren't attracted to men that are needy for attention, love or sex, desperate for someone to keep them company, someone who needs other people to enjoy himself or feel happy...and what are you doing with the playful face shot? Not only are you showin her you're playful (which is attractive), you're also showing her you enjoy yourself BY yourself, are happy by yourself, that you don't need other people per se to have fun. These are ALL very attractive.
A sexy face shot is one where you're seeing your face plus your chest and that's it and the whole purpose of this one is: wearing your most sexy outfit, doing your hair in the most sexy way, give them your sexiest look with your eyes (or wear your most beautiful sunglasses if you don't know how with yoru eyes) and a slight smile...you're being the smooth, sexy as on this one, the man that just RADIATES confidence and sexuality. Off course: attractive. Maybe you need to get in the mood first, so reading something of a romance novel, watching a romantic comedy or lsitening to some smooth r&b or soul will probably get you there...
Recommended use: use 1 for your profile and in my experience, you could get away with making this your main photo (the one being displayed in the search results) very well, because most of these will be made smaller but if your face is the only thing on there that's interesting? They'll see it anyways while other photos will become useless when made smaller. Make the second face shot a sexy one. Don't use more than these two though, your profile isn't a collection of "almost on a passport" photos.
What's a female shot? A photo of you and one or multiple women or you with men and women. Girls get messages from needy, desperate, creepy and shallow men going for looks all day, every day...which CONSTANTLY reminds her of how most men don't know how to communicate with women and how to feel comfortable around women. Guess what a photo with you and one or more women (and possibly some other people) does? It lets her know that you are someone who DOES know how to communicate with women, how to feel comfortable around them and is around them often...otherwise you wouldn't have taken that photo if you didn't.
Next to this, if a woman sees you with another woman, she'll start comparing herself to her: competition! She'll secretly be a little jealous of her and knows she has competition which means she has to put in extra effort to get you in her own mind...plus the more beautiful looking the ladies you're with are, the harder a woman will think the competition will be = more women will feel attracted to you and attracted to you MORE.
Recommended use: if you fill your profile with these only, you'll still be desperate...and if you have several of women hugging or kissing you? Still desperate. This is why you want to use 1 or 2 photos max of you with another woman or other women, where you're just having fun or get a kiss on the cheek and that's it.
Friends And Family Shots
Funny thing is that most men try TOO hard...with profiles where you'll only see photos of themselves trying to be as smooth as possible and with no other people on there. But the reality is that women read these like a book and KNOW they're trying to be smooth, while they want REAL men. So how can you be real? Have photos of you and your family and you and friends so she'll see: "wait a minute...he's not trying to hide his life from me AT ALL. He's perfectly okay with being around his family, his friends and isn't afraid of me knowing them." Which is a good thing off course. You don't need photos with ALL your friends or family, one or a few relatives or friends will do just fine.
There's another benefit: she'll see you're an outgoing person, sociable, who likes to be around people and people like to be around you, you're comfortable chilling out with whoever, whenever, you're a family man who takes care of his own (especially when it's you and an older aunt, grandmother or mother on the photo) and so on...which builds attraction because no one likes a secluded, introverted little man who's nervous while being around other people.
Recommended use: use 2, and if possible include a photo of you and friends and a photo of you and family...because as you can see above they do different things for you. As long as you let her see you're outgoing and not a loner, you'll be fine.
The Cute Shot
What's a cute shot? This may sound lame to you: include a photo of you as a baby, a toddler or as a little kid...because to women? The very first thing they'll think is "awhhh...thats so CUTE!" Women have a natural, maternal instinct which explains why the majority of them likes babies, little children etc. and want to hold them, play with them: mother instincts. They'll think you're cute as well because of that photo..
There's also some "secret" human psychology behind this one: small children, especially babies, are very vulnerable because they don't know how to think and act for themselves properly yet...which makes it dangerous for them to be on their own for example. When you're including a baby photo or a photo of you as a small child, doesn't matter if it's in black & white, she'll literally see that you're not afraid to show your softer side, your vulnerabilities. This does two things for you: she perceives you as being a man who's in touch with his emotions and a man who's CONFIDENT enough to reveal his vulnerabilities...both are VERY attractive.
Recommended use: include 1 cute shot in your profile, so start looking for those old baby and small child photos buddy! Call some relatives to see if they still have some of you if you and your parents don't, loan the photos and scan them if you have to so you can use them on your profile.
You won't get far if you put photos on your profile of cops and robbers, violence, war, action flicks and bloody accidents...BUT you will if you include photos of activities women are drawn to: dancing, horseriding, dinner at candle light, and so forth. Off course I'm talking photos of YOU doing one of those activities here. Why? Very simple: women dream of the knight in shiny, bright armor on the white horse, the ideal man, and the ideal partner is off course someone who likes EVERYTHING you desire to do...and if you see someone with photos on their profiles of those activities? Off course you'll be compelled to talk to them.
Off course it's also about women being attracted to men who are romantic, secuders, the "Casanova" types if you will...which doesn't mean you need to exaggerate with roses and candles and chocolate all over the photo, don't overdo it. But just a simple photo of YOU holding a rose with a sweet face does the trick too!
Recommended use: include 2 photos of different activities and you'll be sure they WILL be compelled to reply when you're not overdoing the romantic side of things. It should be subtle, NOT like I said before overly obvious, because that's not being romantic...that's trying to impress.
Women lead lives of total boredom and quiet desperation hoping and waiting for adventure, excitement and out of the ordinary things because of all their daily obligations, the must do but so bored while doing it routines...so why not BE that man that brings her exactly that: excitement, adventure, out of the ordinary things. Remember that you shouldn't be bragging with photos of you and a limousine because "who sits in a limo every day?" so it's unique, NO that's not what I mean.
I mean photos of you skydiving, bungeejumping, in a racecar ready for the race, in an outfit that clearly says "I'm in a Bruce Lee-like championship in a minute"..so activities that are NOT without risk of injury, that are high speed or display you taking part in top level competition such as Olympic swimming. It all depends on what YOUR interests and passions are off course, but all these kinds of photos have excitement, danger, adventure, risk, out of the ordinary and tension written alll over them, so use them to your advantage!
You can do the same thing with outrageous, extraordinary and amazing backgrounds: you in front of the Taj Mahal, sitting on a rock of the Gizeh Piramids, standing next to the Eiffel tower, walking the Chinese wall, etc. These all have to do with travelling, which tell her you like trying new things (cultures, languages, etc.), you've seen something of the world (you're open minded, intellectual, etc.) and you've been on adventures. BUT don't forget about backgrounds such as beautiful settings (lush gardens, very nice photos of you at dusk or dawn) or outrageous ones (you standing in front of a fish tank with a shark in the background or something like that.) You can expect questions about all of these photos, because they're SO compelling that she absolutely has to know the story behind it.
Recommended use: 2 to 3 photos on your profile, best would be to have one of you travelling, one beautiful background and one sort of shocking "look out! there's a shark behind you" photo...but it's all a matter of what's available to you. So look up vacation photo albums, call some people up about that one exciting thing you did together once, then get those photos and use them.
The Name Of The Game: Why Photos Shouldn't Be Called "Image 00014"
Why stop at only looking at the effect of your photos...when most profile based sites also offer you the possibility of NAMING your photos? It's all about titles that multiply the effect of the photo, hell, they even allow you to turn a pretty plain photo into a GOLDEN one!
Here are some examples using the types of photos I mentioned before...
Playful face shot > So serious...
(The photo displays you being NOT so serious, and playful...so naming it like it's the opposite is funny, is playful and both are attractive)
Cute shot > When I was still cute...(A)
(The photo makes almost all women think you're cute there, but by insinuating you were cute THAN? You're implying you're naughty, a badboy etc. NOW...which is attractive)
Cute shot > Aren't I an angel?...(A)
(The photo makes women think you're cute, but the title with the "I'm a saint" emoticon accompanying it will let her KNOW you're naughty, a badboy etc. NOW..which is attractive)
Psychology shot, dancing > Ai jai jai jai..caramba! La Salsa
(if it's a photo of you dancing the very popular latin styles of dancing such as salsa, merengue, cha cha etc. why not add another dimension by throwing out some typical Spanish chants? That's what you're doing now and it increases the impact you were already having...)
Exciting shots of you skydiving or bungeejumping etc. > Can you feel those strong winds?
(It gives the photo that displays pure excitement, adventure, adrenaline, risk..an edge of humor, some wittyness that will INCREASE it's effect. Plus you're describing sensory details, such as how something smells or feels, which makes it easier for her to live the moment herself = deeper impact)
Exciting shots of anything around racing > The need for speed, fasten your seatbelts!
(Racing is all about adrenaline, the rush, excitement, the possible danger of crashing...and you amplify the effect by emphasizing this by reffering to it as being a wild ride)
Exciting shots, martial arts > Bruce Lee, eat your heart OUT :P
(One of the most famous martial arts is off course Bruce Lee, so making this comment shows you got a sense of humor..humor is attractive)
Exciting shots, outrageous > Look out, behind you! :-O
(These are with shots of you and wild and rpetty dangerous animals near you or behind you, such as sharks, crocodiles, rhinos, etc. A simple trip to the zoo will cover these and it's all about adding to the drama of the outrageousness, you intensify it by the extra tension...which makes is more compelling to look at)
Exciting shots, travelling > anything that emphasizes where you are, such as the name of the setting and the country, travel comments (took me 18 hours to get here), etc. again, these will INCREASE the effect of the photo
Note: as you can see, renaming your photos from "Image 00014" into something more compelling is DEFINITELY a smart thing to do, especially knowing full well that there aren't many people doing it out there. It's all about standing out with a not boring AT ALL profile, so go ahead and use titles to your advantage too. I'm sure you'll think of much more appropiate and better titles for your own photos yourself over time, this was just to show you what I mean.
You can find lots of other online dating techniques that will show you a simply way for meeting women online and getting date after date..after date..inside the Online Mentorship Program.
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