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QUESTION FROM A READER
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Hey Dennis, is it true that women can sense how you feel
about yourself? Because I have been trying to get into
conversations a lot, but I'm still nervous when I do and
sometimes it almost looks like they can sense that I'm
insecure!
I'm still anxious when I approach (even after that awesome
mail you sent about all conversations being feedback), so
what do I need to do?
Max V., The Hague, the Netherlands
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MY COMMENTS
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Off course they can sense how you feel!
Can't you do that with other people? Because you're not
human when you can't...are you a robot or something?
When you're in the subway for example (or any public area
for that matter) and you look around, you can TELL how
people feel.
The lady over there with the pink purse that's fidgeting
around, looking around all the time...she's nervous.
That grandpa who's half-sitting, half lying in his chair and
squeezing his eyes..he's tired.
And while YOU may think you're approaching a woman with a
perfect pokerface, your body can reveal all kinds of things
about you..
So yeah she'll SEE it when you're insecure, when you're
nervous..because the eyes never lie.
Because of this, you CAN'T fake confidence when you're face
to face..so be afraid, be veeery afraid.
No let's be serious here: how can you STOP "radiating" this
nervousness, these insecurities...how can you KILL approach
anxiety?
Next to the secret conversation strategies I already shared
with you, there's a way of thinking that will help you with
ALL your interactions with women.
Online, in a club or bar, on the streets..it doesn't matter.
And it's ALWAYS ASSUMING ATTRACTION.
You see, if you always automatically assume that any woman
you meet WANTS you and wants you bad...guess what happens?
- You'll stop being nervous, being anxious..and relax.
You'll be comfortable around her which means you'll be more
open to conversation, more playful and lighthearted..
As a result, SHE will feel comfortable too, she'll join you
in the playful spirit of the conversation, open up and tell
more about herself.
And anything she tells you, you can use to tease her with,
challenge her with, create ATTRACTION with..
- In your own mind, she'll already be in your pocket..so
you'll feel WAY more confident than otherwise, you'll have
more guts to be sexual and to push things forward because to
you..
It's only a matter of logistics: grabbing your phone because
she craves to give you her number.
Now, confidence, being sexual and being playful/open..are
all qualities in a man that create GIGANTIC amounts of
attraction.
So ironically..by ASSUMING attraction you actually CREATE
it! It's a self-fulfilling prophecy..
Amazingly enough, the general male public FEARS approaching
women not because of rejection or failure..
But because of the FEAR of the unknown.
Will I get her number? You don't know..
How will she respond when I say A? You don't know..
Will she like me when I say B afterwards? You don't friggin'
know..
Will her insanely jealous bf come out of nowhere the moment
I start talking to her?
You never know..
And it's this FEAR of uncertainty that HURTS your game the
most, because it PREVENTS you from doing ANYTHING, because
you have DOUBTS about the outcome.
Doubt is the ENEMY of action..it breeds INACTION, which is
you not doing sh*t about it.
I can't say it enough, so here goes fearful fellas...
WARNING: you can ONLY get rid off this with EXPERIENCE.
Because at first you really don't know what you've gotten
yourself into, what you're doing..
Then you kinda know but can't really tell the difference
between doing it right and doing it WRONG.
But after a while, you start to have a FEELING for it:
Hmm..wait a minute, if I say A to her while I look at her
like this, she'll giggle..so I should do that more often
from now on.
Then you become better and better at predicting the outcome,
because you'll know that if you say thing A,B and do thing
X, she'll giggle, blush and open up to you..
It starts to grow into a HABIT: you know what works for you,
so you start to do it anytime, anywhere with everyone.
You've now internalized it and can be sure of a nice outcome
9 out of ten times...so DO, DO, DO.
And never stop doing it. Keep on keepin' on, and keep doing
what works.
Here's a juicy secret: STAY.
The moment you've gotten yourself into a conversation that's
fun, that's interesting, where there's chemistry and sparks
are going back and forth...STAY.
Connect with her more, talk to her more..
Why?
Because YOU need all the experience you can get, and if you
happen to have a damn cute woman in front of you who's open
to conversation...use it to your advantage damn it!
The more you interact with women, the more you'll learn.
Staying simply means needing less conversations to learn
how to meet and date women then a guy who leaves after 5
minutes..
What's more..you can be surprised at how much you can get
out staying..
It surprises me that the vast majority of men FORGETS to ask
a hottie something that could mean the difference between
a date after MONTHS..and an INSTANT date!
And it's this:
"So... what are your plans for today?"
Because if she hasn't got anything to do for the next hour
or few hours, then what's preventing you from telling her:
"I know this place where they serve the BEST ice tea (or
whatever) in the country, come on! Let's go..it'll be FUN!"
And off you go on your first date..DURING your first
conversation.
As long as you have a place to go, you can take her there
on a date - so know your location and know it well buddy..
It's what all the "naturals" do: be spontaneous and ask what
a woman is doing RIGHT NOW, and go on a date with them on
the fly..and I can show you how to get one of these "instant
dates" so you can't overthink things, get really nervous
during the date and screw things up..in fact..I can show
you exactly how to approach a woman using your body language
alone..go on a date with her..and how to make sure it ALWAYS
has a happy ending..inside my Win With Women 2.0 e-zine.
It'll be your ticket to getting rid off the loneliness...
The Win With Women 2.0 E-Zine
Kindest regards,
Your Friend
Dennis Miedema
Oh yeah... by the way... if you want to learn more techniques to program your mind to STOP the fear of approaching women?
Then fill in your info below now to get even more juicy details...