Sexy Sian Column – Sex On The First Date

Some of you may remember the Field Report on the forum where I talked about the insane adventure I had when I went inside a girl’s house to have sex with her, while her parents who were sleeping in the next room had forbidden her to see ANY boy and would literally KILL ME if they found out…remember her? For those that don’t: I’d like to introduce you to my long-time girlfriend…Sexy Sian. She saw me grow my business from day one, and showed great interest in what insiders call “the game” of meeting, dating and winning with women. It turned her on that I knew much about women and how to interact with them…and she recently decided that she wants to give other women the gift of having a man who knows what he’s doing with women too! So without further a do, I’ll let a WOMAN do the talking here…

Sex on the first date…

Why not?

If you’re a woman looking for a relationship and not a brief fling or one night stand, you will want to look past how good a man is between the sheets. If I’m only looking for sex, I’ll sleep with a man on the first date much more easily. Newsflash guys: women think about sex too, EVERY woman, but we’re subtle, even secretive, about it because if we aren’t? Society will perceive as to be “sluts.” You’re one cool ass dude if you’ve slept with 20 women, but you’re a whore when you’re a woman who slept with 20 men. Society makes people think women are much less sexual than they REALLY are, because women hide their sexuality more because of the ”slut reason.”

If you want a relationship as a woman, it’s obvious that I’m more interested in getting to know a man. I’ll only “surrender” myself completely to him if I’m attracted to him, know he’s my type and know he’s worth my time and effort.
– Attraction: From everything you can read on several sites, you should have a clue about what builds attraction by now: humor (being fun), selectiveness (being picky), etc. I’ll leave the explaining to my man
– Knowing he’s my type: there are character traits I described above that create attraction, but there’s also a connection…if I can’t relate to him and he can’t relate to me, what’s the use?
– Knowing he’s worth my time and effort: women can smell whether a man is being genuine, being himself (or his best self as D would say) or trying to impress them or manipulate them a mile away. But if I don’t feel comfortable around him, safe around him, that he’s trustworthy? I’m not even going to date him, let alone sleep with him…EVER

This whole process could take place as fast as a first date, but usually it doesn’t go that fast which is why women PREFER to not do it on a first date: because they don’t feel comfortable and safe enough AND off course because of the “slut reason” again (“you slept with him on the first date? Oh no! What if he thinks you’re “easy?” Or “you did it the first time you saw him? Oh you’re sleezy”).

We have to be sure about him being trustworthy, and us being safe and comfortable around him…so the more you ensure us BEFORE the date, the further we are usually willing to go. The more we are sure and the more attracted we are to him, the more likely “it just happened” sex happens…because we FIRST act based on emotions (women especially, we have 97 different version of the human emotions according to studies while men are only able to feel 9 basic ones) and THEN backwards rationalize with logical reasons for doing it.

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Onward…

Sex plays a huge role in any persons life, how else can we as humans, survive? Sexuality and the organs necessary for it came with the package, so it’s important for any woman to know if the sex with a man feels good. Let’s say I would get into a relationship with a guy, but the sex is unsatisfying for me or just plain bad in general…it’ll have nasty consequences such as cheating on him, conflict, or the end of the whole deal.

Sex is also a way to find out if I feel attracted to him, and when there’s a connection during sex? A match? Then the rest will come all by itself.

If I would have sex on the first date, I would prefer a comfortable spot or NOT do it at all…which is why a bedroom is the best option for this. The first time you have sex with a new partner is special, which is why you want to enjoy him to the fullest and focus on him so you can have the best sex ever. Forget about doing that when there are sticks scratching your ass in the bushes.

Us women simply can’t understand why men have “performance anxiety:” difficulty with getting it up, having an orgasm, staying up, etc. because we don’t need a really exciting position, if a man shows me he can enjoy me? I’m happy. Don’t go asking the first time if we like to do a threesome, but communication IS important. Don’t be afraid to ask, because we like a man who does it wrong once and asks about it more than a guy who keeps messing things up down there…and don’t be afraid of suggesting you try something more exciting either. Ask her opinion about it and she can tell you if she likes your idea or not without hurting your or her feelings by saying things like “let’s do this NOW” (during sex) or “I want to do it.” No. Ask “what do you think about…”

Do you want to bring your sexlife to the next level, by making things more exciting?

Then you should explore the subject more, because making things more exciting doesn’t have to mean you need to go and have threesomes or it won’t be more exciting, there are other options too! Long live the sex accessories: whipped cream, ice cubes, blindfolds, chocolate sauce, you name it. And long live the sex toys too. They’re purely meant for making it all more fun, and not to replace a man’s role during sex. The vast majority of men think that a woman buys a vibrator because he ain’t good enough. WRONG!

It’s partly because she desires to enjoy herself, but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy YOU, too. The more she enjoys herself, the more fun she has, the more you will enjoy her. Why? If a vibrator turns her on big time, you play around wit hit for her, and then put it away…guess who just got WAY hornier and wants to jump on your … instead of just gently climbing it…

The best way to find more exciting ways of having sex is to just experiment without being afraid that she won’t like at AT ALL. Most women want to experiment just as much as men do and quite often even MORE than men! Don’t be naive and believe women are little saints, angels, goody two shoe princesses who don’t know what naughty is…that’s only what society wants you to believe (or she’s a “slut”). If you keep on believing, you’ll miss out on a LOT of fun in life…

Example: I hear from a lot of my female friends that having sex without a condoom is much better dan sex with one on, because it’s feels so much intenser. Don’t forget that a man will enjoy himself WAY more because there isn’t a peice of plastic between his a and a woman’s body, the man will be turned on more because of this and a girl will feel this! The smart thing to do is use a condom off course, especially if you don’t know the sexual past of your partner.

It’s a pressure point: most men would much rather do it without a condom, while the woman DOES trust you but if she doesn’t know your sexual past? It’s hard for her to let you know she would like to wait a little longer…

Still, using a condom all by itself can also be made MORE exciting: Durex for example has special kinds of condoms that are thinner than usual so you both feel more, they have ones with little rings around it for more stimulation, etc. So bes ure to experiment with types of condoms too!

Me and my D have done all kinds of crazy things when it comes to sex. Off course I didn’t start wit hit, because I was shy, didn’t really have the guts to do it and was afraid to make mistakes…but that will all pass once a girl trusts her partner completely.

And boy, did I find out! We went from the bed to the cinema, the bathroom of an airport or bowling hall, in the middle of the bushes, in the train, at the sauna, etc. It’s exciting, thrilling, and a MAJOR turn on to do it in public, because you could get discovered any minute. Sounds weird, but that makes it THAT much more fun.

I have a certain kind of fantasy about having sex on the beach, that would feel so good…but I think I’ll wait until next summer in this cold, harsh winter…brrr…

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

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Carlos Xuma
- Win With Women

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