Dating Tips for the Clueless Man
Jason’s track record with women has been less than stellar.
At parties, work, bars, the grocery store and anywhere he is that he finds interesting and attractive women, he tries his hardest to turn on the charm and get dates.
He usually fails.
The women he attempts to engage in conversation (and ask out for coffee or dinner) often seem bored, uncomfortable and are sometimes even overtly hostile to him. He keeps wondering what he’s doing wrong! When it comes to women, Jason feels clueless and doomed to be alone forever.
Like Jason, do you feel clueless when it comes to attracting dates or keeping the woman you’re in a relationship with happy and satisfied?
If you do, you’re not alone.
Lots of men feel hopelessly inept when it comes to either getting a woman to date them or to keeping the passion going once a relationship has begun. It can be frustrating and even depressing.
Stop calling yourself “clueless.”
For starters, if you tend to think of yourself as a failure, inept or clueless when it comes to women, it’s time for a re-frame. The fact that you think about yourself in this way has a very really effect on your ability to get dates and create the kind of relationship you want.
Sometimes guys will call themselves “clueless” because they are insecure. They’ve had some rejections or breakups in the past that are still painful today. They’ve virtually allowed a past history of hearing a few (or a lot of)“No’s” from women to define their present and future experience.
Stop selling yourself short and stop killing your own confidence by obsessing about what happened in the past.
Yes, it’s helpful to learn from the past. If you approached a woman in a particular way and it didn’t work out too well, maybe it was your approach and maybe it was just a bad time with this particular woman. Think about what happened and decide if that approach is something you want to try again.
If you had a relationship blow-up that still causes you to cringe, ask yourself what you did that contributed to the breakup. What could you do differently in a similar situation in the future?
Learn from the past but don’t get bogged down in it.
Other men call themselves “clueless” as a kind of excuse for being insensitive or even arrogant. Don’t make this mistake either!
Be aware if you tend to cover over your rude or disrespectful comments or actions by saying, “I can’t help it, I’m clueless!” Own up to your habits that might be driving women away…even if it’s uncomfortable to do so. Catch yourself and make a choice to speak and act in ways that WILL help you attract women and keep a relationship going.
Tune in to her.
A great way to stop being clueless about dating and relationships is to tune in to the woman you’re with. I don’t care if you’re just getting to know one another or if you’ve been together for years and years…really listen to what she’s saying.
Make sure you’re not distracted and don’t try to multi-task. Checking your phone to read texts or peering over her shoulder at sports scores are NOT ways to tune in to the woman you’re with, by the way.
Invite yourself to be genuinely interested in what she’s saying. If she seems to be going on and on and you are getting bored or annoyed, take a deep breath and ask her if you two could talk about something else.
Believe me, you can’t fake being interested. She’s going to know if you’re pretending to listen and this will be a BIG turn-off if you do.
Be the best you can be.
Be honest and real and the best you can be. This may sound like a tall order. After all, nobody is at their best 24/7.
Sometimes, the best you can be is sub-par. When those moments happen, own them and encourage yourself to return to your “best” self.
This requires you to know, in advance, what your best self is. What are your priorities? Specifically, who is the man you want to be? Know this and live it. Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not just to impress a woman. She’s going to find out and it will make you look like a fool every time.
Instead, be upfront about who YOU are and live in accordance with your priorities as much as you can. The woman who is a match for you and what you stand for will resonate with this and then you will have the benefit of being genuine and having a great relationship too.
About Otto Collins
Otto Collins teaches the secrets to lighting up their woman and offers men’s marriage advice. To get Otto’s free report: “The 10 Biggest Relationship & Passion-Killing Mistakes Men Make and What To Do About Them” sign up for his FREE relationship advice newsletter for men