Recently, I made a statement in one of my seminars that caused quite a stir.

I said: “Unless you’re Brad Pitt, no matter WHAT you do or WHO you are, you probably aren’t going to get a ton of dates from phone numbers you get from meeting women cold on the street – or even in clubs. In fact, you’d be lucky to get 50% of your phone numbers to turn into a date.”

Well, Paul, this guy in one of my seminars, was shocked and disheartened by this. He said that I pretty much totally shot down his expectations, and he felt sad and depressed about that ratio.

Paul said: “So maybe I’ll get 3 dates out of 10 numbers, BUT that’s a hell of a lot of failure.”

He thought that a guy that gets really good at this, especially after having all this training, should be getting more like an 80 or 90% ratio of getting dates from phone numbers he collects.

Paul also said: “That really lowers my motivation and my belief in what can be done. Let’s face it, if you’re striking out 7 times out of 10, it’s going to be tough to keep a good attitude and confidence in your abilities. I thought I’d be getting 8 or 9 out of 10 successes.”

Reality is a bitch, isn’t it?

I hate to be harsh about this but it’s simply not realistic to expect 80-90% success. In ANYTHING in life, really.

Look, I want you to define reality for yourself in a way that gives you the most success. What matters is not the ratio, or some meaningless percentage – but the way you THINK about it!

“Success” is something YOU define. And if you imagine that “failure” is more likely, then you’ve just made it more likely that you’ll simply quit.

Let’s break this down by the numbers:

Let’s say you talk to 10 women a week, and you get 3 dates.

This means that if you keep going and talk to 100 women, you’ll get 30 possible girlfriends.

THIRTY!

That’s a freakin’ AWESOME ratio! Especially for only 10 weeks of work. And that’s if you hit it hard for just a few weeks – and stopped trying at all after that.

And that’s NOT a hell of a lot of failure, if you consider the numbers. That’s a hell of a lot of SUCCESS in my book.

You can look at it as 70% failure – or 30% MASSIVE success.

Is the pie 70% gone or is 30% left for you to eat?

Is the glass 70% empty or is it…

Okay, you get the point.

Hell, a 300 batting average is pretty damn good in major league baseball. For those of you that are familiar with the game, that’s about a 30% success ratio.

Ty Cobb, the number one batting average leader of all time, got .346.

That means that for every 100 times at bat, this guy hit the ball 34 times. (Doesn’t mean he hit a home run or even got to first base, either.)

I’ll take it! And the multi-million dollar contract that goes with it.

Ty Cobb never focused on how he was striking out 2/3 of the time. He just got back up to bat and did it again and again and again.

Looks different when I explain it that way, huh?

How about this: If you knew that you had a 30% chance to win the lottery, would you play it?

Uh, duhhh!

Consider that millions of people play the lottery every day for one chance in 175,000,000 (that’s 1 chance in 175 MILLION!).

More people are likely to get hit by falling space debris than win the lottery. BUT they keep on playing…!

Let’s reframe this so that you are even MORE motivated…

In reality, if you approach ANY women at all, you’re really 100% SUCCESSFUL.

That’s right. You’re not failing at all. You’re actually completely successful.

You see, those 70% were just practice for the next 30%!

AND you chances are, you got a cool conversation. Or maybe learned something new.

AND you should have been getting a lot of social exposure in the process. You couldn’t have gotten to the 30 dates until you got past those 70 that were not right for you.

But let me ask you this:

HOW MANY WOMEN DO YOU NEED TO APPROVE OF YOU?

Because if you just go out and talk to a few women each week, you can have as many girls as you like.

In reality – the bigger problem here is what you THINK about this game of meeting, dating, and sleeping with women.

Do you see it as a painful means to an end? Just an agonizing chore to get out of the way so you can get in bed with women?

Or is it just a fun playground where you can discover how to become a better man?

Read the rest of the article HERE…

The post Why Most Guys Fail With Women (Before They Even START) – And How To Start WINNING With Women appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Lesson one: don’t believe the haters. Some women think players are soul sucking creatures from hell with a dick that are bent on walking all over women’s hearts after giving them herpes…

But I don’t. Women may think teaching men how to be a player is bad, but I don’t. I know better.

You see, players aren’t the spawn of the devil. They’re simply guys who aren’t ready for a relationship (yet) and just want to have fun at the moment without hurting women’s feelings.

The only problem is that players such as yourself have never been told how to be a player so you don’t know what to do to NOT hurt a woman’s feelings… and that’s where the negative associations with the word “player” come from. Time to fix that, wouldn’t you agree?

So, if you’re not ready for a relationship and want to fun with as many women as you can? Then this blog post is for you!

Now let’s check out the 3 best ways for how to be a player that has lots of fun with lots of women…

1) How To Be A Player By Managing Her Expectations

If you want to know how to be a player so you can fool around instead of getting serious with ANY woman, then you will have to manage women’s expectations up front. Let me repeat that:

If you don’t want to get serious with women right now and be a player instead, then you have to manage her expectations. Because if you don’t? She will manage them for you!

Okay. Say you met this gorgeous chick at the club the other day, took her home, and slept with her. You didn’t want to be a jerk who disappeared in the morning without telling her about it so you two call, then have some more sex, and so on.

Meanwhile you’re thinking: “FUCK! I don’t want to be in a relationship, but don’t want to hurt her either. How do I stop this without hurting her feelings?” That’s not how to be a player.

Because by then it’s already too late. Because has anyone you know ever literally asked a girl to be in a relationship? Nope. It just happens. That means that if you don’t tell a woman about your intentions upfront, then she will ASSUME a relationship just happened.

Result: if you suddenly stop answering the phone and think she will forget you on her own? Forget it! She will stalk you with calls and text messages, come visit you, and you will break her heart.

That’s when the “how could you do this to me?” comments come. Painful for you and for her obviously. Avoid drama like this whenever you can. This is NOT how to be a player.

A successful player gets in and he gets out (no pun intended). A woman knows that having sex with him won’t lead to a relationship in advance, which gives the player the ability to move from woman to woman. Some of the most successful players include Casanova and Lord Byron:

I can almost hear you think: “How do you become a player who can pull that off!?” How do you manage her expectations and get away with it?

Simple: clearly communicate during the first time you ever meet a woman. Ask her if she’s single and a woman will always ask you if you are. Yes you’re single and not looking for something serious right now. You’re not into relationships.

“But won’t she immediately get the hell away from me when I admit I don’t want to get serious?” No she won’t, because:

– When a woman is attracted to you, she can’t help herself. She has to have you, even if it means she can only have you for a night. She will accept it, because she’s attracted to you.

– Women love the thrill of the chase as much as men do, maybe even more. Knowing you do NOT want to get serious while they do, makes you a challenge. Plus, it’s a huge ego boost for a woman to realize that she “tamed the bad boy” when you DO want a relationship with her later on.

A top secret for if you want to know how to be a player is this one: there are many more women out there who just want to have fun than you’d think. And no they’re not all sluts! But you will only meet these women who are only out for sex when you have the balls to tell them you don’t want to get serious.

Why?

Because society still doesn’t accept it when women have complete sexual freedom. Women are still seen as total sluts, whores, etc. when they sleep with multiple men in a short period of time. That’s why women will only admit to you that they want sexual freedom after YOU admitted it, so they know it’s okay.

2) How To Be A Player By Finding Your Routine

Now you know what to do BEFORE you learn how to be a player (managing a woman’s expectations), it’s about time we take a look at how to do the actual playing. Wouldn’t you agree?

Several years ago back when I didn’t know SHIT about meeting and dating women I did my best to befriend “naturals”: men and women who are by nature good at seducing the opposite sex.

The most important thing I learned from these “naturals” is that they found a routine in their environment that got them sex and they tweaked this routine into perfection over the years.

The easiest way to quickly become a player is to find your routine as well. How to be a player with a routine you ask? Here’s what a routine is:

– A number of things you keep doing or saying because you know they create attraction
– Doing these things in the order they work best in (the order that guarantees you sex)
– Seeing if you need to add things or can delete things from your routine to have sex faster

The reason why most men fail to date women is because they keep trying different stuff. This is why you need a routine to be a player and to be successful with women in the first place.

There are only a handful of people on the planet who manage to pull off an entire arsenal of routines (me and my friend Sherwin are the only people I know of). Everyone else fails when they keep trying different stuff. You need lots of experience to do this, so stick to one routine for now.

Now you know why having a routine to meet women is important if you want to meet lots of them, you can either create your own one or you can copy the first routine I ever created if you want to… because learning how to be a player sure is much easier with a little help, right?

Here’s a small sample of the first routine I created for meeting women:

– I ask a woman about her hobbies are and accuse her of being a junkie in an over-the-top way (example: if she loves movies, she’s a movie junkie)

– Whenever I accuse a woman she will either laugh, deny it or defend herself by teasing me

– Now I accuse her of being in denial and say in a sarcastic way that she shouldn’t worry because that’s normal and after denial comes acceptance according to Dr. Phil

– She laughs some more, denies some more, and defends some more. She’s confused because she doesn’t know what to say but doesn’t want to admit I won either. Then I change the topic: I ask her a serious question about her hobby.

– I wait until she’s done talking about her hobby (after asking follow-up questions) and then I tell her about my hobby. I make sure I mock myself about not being good at it so she knows I’m a playful teaser, and not an arrogant jackass who likes to be rude to women.

– Because of this (and the playful teasing and questions asked with genuine interest) she feels attracted to me, so I offer to be her teacher and teach her what I do best… but I demand she teaches me her ridiculous addiction (hobby) in return

– Women love role plays so she accepts, after which I tell her that we should exchange numbers but only if she promises not to stalk me. I say this because women are usually the ones being stalked by men who don’t understand she doesn’t like them and me saying it will let them know I’m definitely NOT a stalker. It also shows I really understand what women go through.

– So I get the number, we go on a date, and so on. Now THIS is how to be a player!

And if you want to know how to create your own routines (conversations) that are sure to get you a woman’s phone number, a date, and so on?

Then I highly recommend you check out the tips inside my Inner Game Newsletter. These tips will show you how to be a player by teaching you about creating attraction, routines, and more.

Let’s continue…

3) How To Be A Player By Handling A Reputation

Believe it or not, but the hardest part about being a player is not getting the women you meet into your bed. The biggest obstacle comes after you’ve decided you want to know how to be a player and started playing around.

What is the biggest obstacle that you will face if you want to be a player? A reputation.

A player reputation will haunt you until the end of your days just like the effects of watching a horror movie when you were still too young to watch it. Hell, I still look down whenever I’m swimming in open water because of Jaws with that HUGE killer shark eating all those people up.

In short: if you want to know how to be a player, you’ll need to know how to handle your reputation. You’ll get a rep even when women know in advance that you don’t want a relationship.

Women gossip a lot so before you know it a woman you haven’t ever met before knows who you are before you know who she is. You need to know how to deal with it…

Because you will get questions like: “Are you a player?”

And what do must guys do? They go into denial. No, no, no you’re not a player because blab la bla. The only thing a woman can conclude is that you took her question way too serious, so there must be something wrong there.

The best answer to the often feared player question still is and always will be: “Hahaha!”

Why? Because it shows a woman that you think she’s crazy and that her question was ridiculous.

The only way to pass the player test is to make a fool out of her or else you took it too seriously. Do you see now why knowing what to do about a reputation is a MUST when you want to know how to be a player?

And this is where this blog post achieves maximum awesomeness…

Because you’re about to learn how to be a player with a reputation but who still “gets the girl”:

1) Like I said before, it’s a huge ego boost for a woman to know that she tamed the bad boy and got him into a relationship while other women couldn’t pull it off. Almost every woman fantasizes about taming the bad boy. Meanwhile, men fantasize about how to be a player. Is that a match made in heaven or what!?

2) If everybody seems to be buying an iPad, then it must be good right? While you subconsciously conclude this very easily, you don’t realize that women conclude this about men! If dozens of women want to sleep with that guy, then there must be something about him that’s so attractive. That’s when a woman approaches the guy just to find out “if the rumors are true.”

3) If you only sleep with good looking, attractive women and with a whole lot of them, then guess what? Sooner or later, the women you haven’t slept with will start to wonder why. If you only sleep with hot women, then you must think they’re ugly? Then they’re must be something wrong with them? It almost forces them to prove to you that they’re hot. Isn’t learning how to be a player awesome?

I had several women tell me about number 2 when I had about the biggest player reputation in town back in the day. Don’t you just love women’s logic? I know I do!

And there you have it: the complete, brutal, and but naked truth about how to be a player. It’s okay to be a player as long as you don’t hurt women’s feelings, no matter what all those pissed off women say. Let them claim players are soul sucking creatures, that big brother is watching you, that ET has already landed, and all that other crazy stuff.

Because as long as you know how to be a player and sleep with as many women as possible it’s all good, right? And hey…

I’ve said several times that as long as you know how to create attraction that you can work your player magic, but maybe you not some help with creating attraction.

My Inner Game newsletter gives you tip after tip… after tip about creating attraction, approaching women, and a whole bunch of other topics. So get those tips right now by clicking here.

And don’t worry: you won’t be spammed. Ever. The only thing I will “spam” you with is with more tips on how to become a player!

You know what a good movie is to learn how to be a player by the way? American Pimp…

Just kidding dude! Have fun with these tips on how to be a player though!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Want more free tips about what I\\'ve talked about today? About raising your confidence through the roof, meeting girls anywhere & anytime, creating raw sexual attraction, and more? Make sure you get your secrets, ebooks, and email updates by signing up for my newsletter below NOW. Remember, it only takes 60 seconds to get more strategies and stealth sexual tactics, so do it. Sign up below.

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The post How To Be A Player: The 3 Best Ways To Become A Player appeared first on How To Win With Women.