1. She should say YES
2. She should NEVER say NO
3. She should really be interested – not just trying to win a free meal

I’m sure I’ll get a lot of feminist hate mail for #3, but I don’t care. I’m here to help you safely navigate the treacherous waters of dating and mating.

The ideal process of asking a girl out would never include the possibility she would say NO to you. Rejection is something men universally despise.

So I’m going to give you 3 Simple Steps to asking a girl out. I’ll also give you the (mostly) foolproof method here to accomplish the goal.

What you will have to do is bring a willingness to see the TRUTH about the girl you want, and not fool yourself about what her actual interest in you is. Because here’s my –

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #1: If she doesn’t really like you, then you don’t want to date her.

I know that one SHOULD be obvious.

HOWEVER you’d be surprised how many guys want to go out with a girl – even knowing that she’s not that into him. I’m not sure what the fantasy is that’s rolling around in his skull, but it should be forgotten and never entertained again.

Now I know what you’re thinking – you’re wondering why the number 1 result is her saying YES and number 2 result is her never saying NO – Aren’t those two really the same thing?

Nope…

A woman can say yes, just to get you off her back. What she really means is NO – even if she isn’t using that word.

Be willing to look at your behavior honestly…

• Are you being a little creepy or weird with her?
• Have you been asking her out every week since 2007 and she still hasn’t said no – but she also hasn’t said yes yet, either…?

Look at your own behavior and see if your persistence might have been a bit misguided. If you can’t tell, ask a friend who knows you and your situation well and will not bullsh*t you.

There’s no substitute for hearing the TRUTH – no matter how painful it may be.

Okay, so let’s move into the 3 simple steps to ask a girl out, starting with:

Get The Date – Step 1: Feel The Fear – And Act Anyway

99% of life is new to you after you’re born. From that point until you die, that percentage just keeps decreasing.

The good news is, you’ll never get to zero percent new.

Most people die with half a tank of gas and most of the world yet to see. You know what stops people from seeing and experiencing all the cool stuff out there?

FEAR

Fear is an emotion – and it’s NOT REAL. You can’t touch fear, or put fear in a bottle, or even SEE fear.

The only thing it can do is trick your brain into making you a fraidy cat.

So it’s up to you to do what you need to do. 

If you want to talk to a girl, go talk to her. Don’t think that women act like they do in youtube videos put up by “feminista gangsters.” (Those women aren’t in touch with love, only anger. Don’t listen to them.)

Women WANT men to say hi to them and talk to them.

How else would they know if they’re the beautiful creature they desperately believe they are?

You, as a man, have the ability to override any fear in your brain by banishing it.

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #2: Don’t Ask Just To Ask.

I see a lot of guys make this mistake – thinking that if they ask for a date, she’ll just say yes to “try you out” or take you for a test drive.

A woman knows in the first few minutes of meeting you if she’s going to sleep with you, and she might know even sooner if she WON’T sleep with you.

Your job is not to worry about that. Because the more you look like you’re worried about whether she’s going to like you, the less likely it is she will like you.

It’s a simple system to game. Just let go of your need to please and make everyone like you.

That’s actually easier than you might think…!

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #3: She will not ask you out.

Another reality is that she’s not going to approach you and ask you out, my friend.

If she does, great. But don’t count on it.

If any woman asks you out before you asked her, she’s always going to wonder if you just said yes to be nice to her. (Yeah, kinda like how you sometimes feel.)

So don’t rely on women to bust that move – it’s a MAN’s job.

Once you accept that life is not always going to be easy, it gets a whole lot easier.

Get The Date – Step 2: Have A Plan

When you see a pretty girl, what’s the first thing that runs through your head?

“What do I say to her?”

That’s what most guys think, and it’s also the least important thing to worry about.

Here, I’m going to erase that question from your mind. The next time you see a woman you want to ask out, say this:

“Hey, I saw you over here and I knew I would be kicking myself if I didn’t say hi. My name is ______”

BOOM! Mic drop, done.

Anyone can say that, and it’s not weird or embarrassing.

What’s that..?

You still feel a little weird approaching women?

Well, it’s not the words then, is it?

Because I just GAVE you the only words you’ll ever need to meet any woman, and you STILL can’t do it.

You know what it usually boils down to? Just having the words – AND having the courage to take action.

I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a minute, but just keep in mind that your plan is simple:

1. Have a comfortable opener to use at a moment’s notice… memorized and ready to go…
2. Talk about wherever you are or whatever you’re doing…
3. Have a simple “escape parachute” to get out of the conversation with her phone number, Facebook, or the date…

Uh, that’s it.

You don’t need a clever “dancing monkey” routine.

You don’t need anything but those two steps.

Yeah, I know there is some more padding and detail in there, and I’ll get to it in a minute…

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #4: Don’t Ask A Girl Out Unless You Already Know The Answer!

Sun Tzu – author of the greatest strategic book on war of all time – The Art Of War – says this:

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”

What he means is that only IDIOTS attack someone without knowing they will win. Why would you do anything else?

Wait… seriously, before you read on – really understand what I just said…

Why would you leave any important endeavor up to CHANCE?

Risk my life, or my reputation on the flip of a coin? That’s STOOOOOPID. And if you manage your life with that kind of philosophy, expect to be a VERY sad panda.

“Figure out your strategy, and then make your victory INEVITABLE.” – Carlos Xuma

Do what it takes to MAKE the answer yes first, then – and ONLY then – ask the question.

Get The Date – Step 3: Ask Directly – Not Like a Wuss

You know how wusses ask a girl out? Like this:

“You wanna hang out later?”

WTF? Is this some kid in 3rd grade, or the girl you dig?

I’m hoping the latter.

I know what guys are doing when they approach it this way. They’re hoping they can test the waters to see if she’s really interested.

• If she says yes, he deludes himself into thinking he’s asked her out on a date…
• If she says NO, he tells himself he was just being friendly…

Can’t have it both ways, dude!

But here’s what happens when you try to avoid rejection by being indirect like this:

1. You’re going to confuse her. She might not call you on it, but she will assume you only mean a FRIENDSHIP kind of hang-out, and you’ll already be in the friend zone. (Even if she was interested in you!)
2. You’re going to look like a first rate chicken.

You don’t need to say “I like you, and I’d like to date you.” That’s a bit too much.

But you should be clear and up front so that she doesn’t wonder what your intentions are. Women hate that weaselly way that men try to avoid rejection.

Just say you’d like to “get to know her better.” That’s all she needs to hear.

Now, I know this might sound like oversimplification in some ways. Like I’m just glossing over all the important stuff.

But honestly, getting a date or asking a girl out is not that difficult. It’s everything we start thinking that gets in the way.

Most guys realize they already have all the words they need. You also probably have an intuition that it’s not the words that really matter, anyway.

It’s your confidence and attitude to use them.

To ask the question when it’s time…

To show her you’ve got what it takes…

And believe it or not, there are only a few small tweaks to have you fully prepared and ready for any situation with a woman.

When you’ve got the confidence tool set in your utility belt, you’re going to feel CONFIDENT.

• You’ll be CONFIDENT you know what to say…
• You’ll be CONFIDENT you know what to do – and when…
• You’ll be CONFIDENT she won’t shake you off your game…

If you want to get this confidence and basically plug it into your brain, you need to get yourself this Superpower For Men…
REVEALED: The Secret To Uncontrollable Sexual Desire…

Watch the Free Presentation HERE…

The post How To Ask A Girl Out – 3 Steps appeared first on How To Win With Women.

In case you’re thinking to yourself right now: “Should I even call after a first date in the first place?”

Then the answer (if you want to see her again) is hell yeah! But… you need to call after a first date in a different way than most guys do. And WHEN you call after a first date is important too…

Why?

Because you don’t want to come across like you’re indifferent, too cool for school or whatever you want to call it. You don’t want to be seen as a player…

On the other hand, you don’t want to come across too excited either because desperate little wussies scare women away faster than spiders and mice do COMBINED!

Needless to say, there’s an “art” to calling after a first date: call after a first date too late or don’t say enough and you’re screwed, but you’re also screwed when you call too early or say too much.

I don’t want to put pressure on you, but the reality is that there’s a fine line between the first way of screwing up and the second way. And you need to walk it to get more than a first date.

Here’s how to walk that fine line, call after a first date, and get more dates with a woman WITHOUT screwing up…

When To Call After A First Date

If you’re wondering when to call after a first date to have her begging for more, it’s NOT later on the same day you dated…

No. It’s the day after a first date.

That’s because when she gets home after going on an amazing date with you and lies in her bed waiting to fall asleep, she’ll think back to all the events that happened that day. Why? Because that’s what the majority of people do at the end of the day before they fall asleep.

In her case, she’ll think about how much fun she had with you and she’ll wonder if you feel the same…

She’ll start to wonder what it is that you feel for her in general, so she’ll hope to hear more from you soon. She’ll be looking forward to it…

So by the time you call after a first date, which is the day after, she’ll have missed you like CRAZY. She’ll be excited to get to know you better.

And that’s always better than never hearing from her again because she found out you were a total wussbag because you called her too fast…

OR never hearing from her again because she thinks you’re a player because you call after a first date wayyyyy too late, wouldn’t you agree?

How To Call After A First Date To Get A Second One

Now let’s check out some things you can say when you call after a first date to get a second date and more, shall we?

As I mentioned before, there’s a fine line between showing TOO MUCH interest and showing TOO LITTLE interest after a first date… and you need to take that into account when you think of things to say when you call after a first date:

– When you call her, tell her you had a great time and try to give her a specific reason why. This shows you have a genuine interest in her and women want that in a man.

– Don’t be greedy and immediately ask for a second date though, because that’s showing too much interest. Tell her you’re kind of busy right now and just wanted to call and say “Hi.”

– This gets her in a “he loves me, he loves me not” mind state because she’s not sure if you like her when you say that, because every single guy she’s met so far chased her long and intensively while you haven’t so far.

When you call after a first date and follow these steps, keep talking for a couple minutes and then hang up.

Whenever you feel like going on a second date, all you have to do at this point is call her and ask her out. Why? Because you made sure she doesn’t see you as a player (by showing a genuine interest in her) AND not as a desperate loser (by not being too greedy and by not calling her a couple hours after the first date).

More On How To Call After A First Date And Calling Women…

Let’s be real for a second here: you might have won the battle but you still need to win the war when you call after a first date like I just told you.

Because you still need to keep her attracted to you until the second date and you still need to ask her out to go on that second date. That may sound difficult at first, but you know what?

The free tips inside my Calling Women and Texting Women Newsletter help you get there. They’ll show you what to say to her over the phone and via text to attract her even more… to have her begging for more… to have her hoping and waiting for that second date!

So sign up and get those tips okay? They’re free anyway, so there’s no reason not to

Anyways, it’s time for me to shut up and let you practice with my tips for how to call after a first date. This horror junkie wants to watch himself some True Blood anyhow… so I don’t mind telling you to grab your phone and start honing your “phone game” skills RIGHT NOW.

I hope you liked my tips for when and how to call after a first date!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Want more awesome tips about what I talked about just now? About how to call women and text women and get a date out of it, and more? Then get instant access to more tips by signing up for our FREE Texting Girls Insider.

The post How To Call After A First Date And Have Her Begging For More appeared first on How To Win With Women.

First off, you should know that some good first date topics do more than just prevent those awkward silences we’ve all experienced (and HATED) on first dates in the past.

Why? Because if you play your cards right, then my first date topics will not only help you keep the conversation going… no there’s more…

Because they’ll also boost the attraction and have her begging for a kiss from you.

Do you want proof of how my first date topics make it possible? Makes sense, so here’s your proof…

Why Some First Date Topics Make Her Beg For A Kiss…

Most regular guys like you and me that start learning how to create attraction think it’s done with fancy techniques that require a lot of guts, much macho type behavior, and all that.

Nothing could be further from the truth. That’s not the full story of what attraction is and my first date topics can prove it!

You see, no matter how much you make a woman feel attracted to you with ANY kind of technique, if she doesn’t feel comfortable and safe around you then she WON’T take things to the next level with you.

Ever.

She needs to feel safe around you, and comfortable, and that you’re a trustworthy guy and not some creep with rape fantasies if you know what I mean. Good first date topics help you make her feel that way.

And get this: each step of the way she needs to feel comfort and trust even more. For example, she needs 10 times as much trust/comfort to sleep with you than to kiss with you…

So your dating success ALSO depends on creating comfort and trust whether you like it or not. That’s why talking with her is important.

And it’s also why good first date topics can mean the difference between saying goodnight without a kiss… and crashing at her place for the night

The Definition Of Good First Date Topics

Thinking along the lines of how much of a difference good first date topics can make, here’s a definition of what IS and what is NOT a good first date topic…

First date topic do’s
1) It creates trust by revealing very personal details about you or about her of course, preferably details you or she wouldn’t reveal to most people

2) A good first date topic creates comfort by making her relax. Using humor is a good way to do it. Another way is to talk about stuff that interests most women.

3) It gives examples of why you’re a trustworthy guy by using themes like loyalty in your questions and answers

4) Good first date topics challenge her to think about herself or the world in new ways while she didn’t expect that, which makes you unpredictable (that alone creates attraction) and makes you stand out from all the guys she’s dated before

First date topic don’ts
1) It doesn’t create discomfort with negative themes like her or your ex, what sucks about her/your job or other crap. In other words: always keep the fun going.

2) It shouldn’t be about you, because A) the more she reveals about herself, the more she automatically must trust you with that info and B) the more she reveals, the more you can attract her with (by teasing her with it, disapproving it, etc.) In other words: keep her talking!

3) Bad first date topics consist of predictable stuff like how the weather is, how her day was, what her hobbies are. You have to dig deeper to make her trust you AND to attract her…

Now let’s check out some examples of first date topics already, shall we?

First Date Topics: Examples, Examples, Examples

Alright, now we know that good first date topics are about very personal stuff, are relaxing, challenge her, and are about trust themes? Let’s see some examples…

“What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you?”

This starts one of those first date conversations that will do you much good, because it’s a nice way to break the ice and make her relax.

“What 2-3 major events in your life made you who you are today?”

This is one of the best first date topics, because it tells you what she thinks is important (and thus if she’s really your type), it probably reveals her ambitions (who she wants to be), and it tells you how well she knows herself (if she doesn’t know at all, you can bet your ass that she doesn’t have much confidence).

If you see her doubting whether she should tell you or not, go first. This goes for all the examples of first date topics I’m giving you today, because going first creates trust.

“Fun question: you have a best friend you’ve known all your life and who means everything to you. Out of nowhere, you get an offer that will make you a million dollars BUT accepting the offer would ruin your friendship forever because he/she is against the people who made you the offer for very personal reasons. Would you accept or decline the offer?”

Now THAT is how you determine whether she’s loyal or not (which is important in a relationship) and how you can show her that you’re a trustworthy guy.

“Question. When guys sleep with multiple girls in one week they’re called heroes by most people around them, but when a girl sleeps with multiple girls in one week? She’s called a slut. What do you think is the reason for that?”

First date topics that involve situations in the dating game always work because women love talking about it.

Plus, it’s also a way for you to show your experience with women. How much you know about women. And women want a man who knows what to do around women.

“What are you afraid of?”

Someone’s fears reveal a lot about them and it’s also a very personal topic to talk about.

It can also be quite funny, because you won’t believe what women can be afraid of: most are afraid of spiders and mice, but you’ll hear stuff like birds, fish, and other crazy things.

More First Date Topics…

There are many other first date topics you can attract women with. Would you like to know them?

And I’m willing to bet you that you want to know more about what to do on a first date in general too, right?

Do you want to know more about how to be confident on the first date for example, how to look confident, when to kiss her, and how to make her come inside with you?

If your answer was “YES” to one or more of my questions, then I highly recommend you check out my Simple Inner Game System.

Because it’s an inexpensive product (less than 25 bucks) crammed with tips on what to do on a first date (including more first date topics), how to build the confidence to get the kiss and the date in the first place, and so much more…

If you want to learn how to go on one successful first date after the other, after the other… after the other? Then see for yourself what my System can do for you:

The Simple Inner Game System

And right about now this movie addict is going to watch himself some Green Lantern while enjoying a gigantic “bucket” of coffee (a huge cup, and yes I’m a coffee junkie too).

What did you think of my thoughts on first date topics? Be sure to leave a comment!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

The post First Date Topics That Give Your Girl A Fantastic Date appeared first on How To Win With Women.