1. She should say YES
2. She should NEVER say NO
3. She should really be interested – not just trying to win a free meal

I’m sure I’ll get a lot of feminist hate mail for #3, but I don’t care. I’m here to help you safely navigate the treacherous waters of dating and mating.

The ideal process of asking a girl out would never include the possibility she would say NO to you. Rejection is something men universally despise.

So I’m going to give you 3 Simple Steps to asking a girl out. I’ll also give you the (mostly) foolproof method here to accomplish the goal.

What you will have to do is bring a willingness to see the TRUTH about the girl you want, and not fool yourself about what her actual interest in you is. Because here’s my –

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #1: If she doesn’t really like you, then you don’t want to date her.

I know that one SHOULD be obvious.

HOWEVER you’d be surprised how many guys want to go out with a girl – even knowing that she’s not that into him. I’m not sure what the fantasy is that’s rolling around in his skull, but it should be forgotten and never entertained again.

Now I know what you’re thinking – you’re wondering why the number 1 result is her saying YES and number 2 result is her never saying NO – Aren’t those two really the same thing?

Nope…

A woman can say yes, just to get you off her back. What she really means is NO – even if she isn’t using that word.

Be willing to look at your behavior honestly…

• Are you being a little creepy or weird with her?
• Have you been asking her out every week since 2007 and she still hasn’t said no – but she also hasn’t said yes yet, either…?

Look at your own behavior and see if your persistence might have been a bit misguided. If you can’t tell, ask a friend who knows you and your situation well and will not bullsh*t you.

There’s no substitute for hearing the TRUTH – no matter how painful it may be.

Okay, so let’s move into the 3 simple steps to ask a girl out, starting with:

Get The Date – Step 1: Feel The Fear – And Act Anyway

99% of life is new to you after you’re born. From that point until you die, that percentage just keeps decreasing.

The good news is, you’ll never get to zero percent new.

Most people die with half a tank of gas and most of the world yet to see. You know what stops people from seeing and experiencing all the cool stuff out there?

FEAR

Fear is an emotion – and it’s NOT REAL. You can’t touch fear, or put fear in a bottle, or even SEE fear.

The only thing it can do is trick your brain into making you a fraidy cat.

So it’s up to you to do what you need to do. 

If you want to talk to a girl, go talk to her. Don’t think that women act like they do in youtube videos put up by “feminista gangsters.” (Those women aren’t in touch with love, only anger. Don’t listen to them.)

Women WANT men to say hi to them and talk to them.

How else would they know if they’re the beautiful creature they desperately believe they are?

You, as a man, have the ability to override any fear in your brain by banishing it.

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #2: Don’t Ask Just To Ask.

I see a lot of guys make this mistake – thinking that if they ask for a date, she’ll just say yes to “try you out” or take you for a test drive.

A woman knows in the first few minutes of meeting you if she’s going to sleep with you, and she might know even sooner if she WON’T sleep with you.

Your job is not to worry about that. Because the more you look like you’re worried about whether she’s going to like you, the less likely it is she will like you.

It’s a simple system to game. Just let go of your need to please and make everyone like you.

That’s actually easier than you might think…!

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #3: She will not ask you out.

Another reality is that she’s not going to approach you and ask you out, my friend.

If she does, great. But don’t count on it.

If any woman asks you out before you asked her, she’s always going to wonder if you just said yes to be nice to her. (Yeah, kinda like how you sometimes feel.)

So don’t rely on women to bust that move – it’s a MAN’s job.

Once you accept that life is not always going to be easy, it gets a whole lot easier.

Get The Date – Step 2: Have A Plan

When you see a pretty girl, what’s the first thing that runs through your head?

“What do I say to her?”

That’s what most guys think, and it’s also the least important thing to worry about.

Here, I’m going to erase that question from your mind. The next time you see a woman you want to ask out, say this:

“Hey, I saw you over here and I knew I would be kicking myself if I didn’t say hi. My name is ______”

BOOM! Mic drop, done.

Anyone can say that, and it’s not weird or embarrassing.

What’s that..?

You still feel a little weird approaching women?

Well, it’s not the words then, is it?

Because I just GAVE you the only words you’ll ever need to meet any woman, and you STILL can’t do it.

You know what it usually boils down to? Just having the words – AND having the courage to take action.

I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a minute, but just keep in mind that your plan is simple:

1. Have a comfortable opener to use at a moment’s notice… memorized and ready to go…
2. Talk about wherever you are or whatever you’re doing…
3. Have a simple “escape parachute” to get out of the conversation with her phone number, Facebook, or the date…

Uh, that’s it.

You don’t need a clever “dancing monkey” routine.

You don’t need anything but those two steps.

Yeah, I know there is some more padding and detail in there, and I’ll get to it in a minute…

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #4: Don’t Ask A Girl Out Unless You Already Know The Answer!

Sun Tzu – author of the greatest strategic book on war of all time – The Art Of War – says this:

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”

What he means is that only IDIOTS attack someone without knowing they will win. Why would you do anything else?

Wait… seriously, before you read on – really understand what I just said…

Why would you leave any important endeavor up to CHANCE?

Risk my life, or my reputation on the flip of a coin? That’s STOOOOOPID. And if you manage your life with that kind of philosophy, expect to be a VERY sad panda.

“Figure out your strategy, and then make your victory INEVITABLE.” – Carlos Xuma

Do what it takes to MAKE the answer yes first, then – and ONLY then – ask the question.

Get The Date – Step 3: Ask Directly – Not Like a Wuss

You know how wusses ask a girl out? Like this:

“You wanna hang out later?”

WTF? Is this some kid in 3rd grade, or the girl you dig?

I’m hoping the latter.

I know what guys are doing when they approach it this way. They’re hoping they can test the waters to see if she’s really interested.

• If she says yes, he deludes himself into thinking he’s asked her out on a date…
• If she says NO, he tells himself he was just being friendly…

Can’t have it both ways, dude!

But here’s what happens when you try to avoid rejection by being indirect like this:

1. You’re going to confuse her. She might not call you on it, but she will assume you only mean a FRIENDSHIP kind of hang-out, and you’ll already be in the friend zone. (Even if she was interested in you!)
2. You’re going to look like a first rate chicken.

You don’t need to say “I like you, and I’d like to date you.” That’s a bit too much.

But you should be clear and up front so that she doesn’t wonder what your intentions are. Women hate that weaselly way that men try to avoid rejection.

Just say you’d like to “get to know her better.” That’s all she needs to hear.

Now, I know this might sound like oversimplification in some ways. Like I’m just glossing over all the important stuff.

But honestly, getting a date or asking a girl out is not that difficult. It’s everything we start thinking that gets in the way.

Most guys realize they already have all the words they need. You also probably have an intuition that it’s not the words that really matter, anyway.

It’s your confidence and attitude to use them.

To ask the question when it’s time…

To show her you’ve got what it takes…

And believe it or not, there are only a few small tweaks to have you fully prepared and ready for any situation with a woman.

When you’ve got the confidence tool set in your utility belt, you’re going to feel CONFIDENT.

• You’ll be CONFIDENT you know what to say…
• You’ll be CONFIDENT you know what to do – and when…
• You’ll be CONFIDENT she won’t shake you off your game…

If you want to get this confidence and basically plug it into your brain, you need to get yourself this Superpower For Men…
REVEALED: The Secret To Uncontrollable Sexual Desire…

Watch the Free Presentation HERE…

The post How To Ask A Girl Out – 3 Steps appeared first on How To Win With Women.

One thing I’ve learned doing dating coaching over the last 16 years, and that’s this:

Most men (and women!) have almost NO CLUE about how attraction between the sexes really works.

Now, when I say NO CLUE – I mean that they THINK they understand it, and PRETEND to understand relationships, but honestly don’t. I think it’s mostly because they don’t want to seem like they’re ignorant to the other 98% of the population that is also pretending to know what they’re doing.

Most of the guys who pretend to know how to date a lot of girls will give you the same lame advice:

• “Dude, you gotta be confident…”
• “You gotta know how to talk to women…”
• “You gotta know how to dress…”
• “You gotta…”

Well, sad to say that half of these guys are usually “naturals” with women (meaning they intuitively have gotten women without knowing what the $#&% they are doing, or they’re good looking.)

The other half are guys that don’t really have ANY skill with women, but just happen to have a girlfriend at the moment. Which means they’re currently doing 100% better than you, and they think that entitles them to tell you “how the game works.”

My sales mentor from years ago once told me:

“Don’t ever take advice from someone who’s not doing what you want to be doing. Or has what you want.”

I’d add to that:

“Don’t take advice from lucky fools.”

They don’t know, but they’re pretend it was all skill, and then they’ll confuse and ruin you.

Instead, go to the guy who knows how it works – AND can explain it! That’s why you’re here, I’m assuming.

So if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why the hell can’t I get a girlfriend?” – I’m about to give you some earth-shaking revelations. Starting with:

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #1: You reek of desperation…

Now, before you dismiss this as not applying to you, let me remind you that NO ONE thinks they’re acting desperately. Unfortunately this is the delusion that is ultimately going to make them marry a woman WAY below they’re pay grade.

Desperation shows in many ways:

• Too eager
• Too “there”
• Too attentive

The sad fact is that many women can be snowed over with this behavior. Especially if she doesn’t get asked out a lot. She will likely be so starving for attention and to have a guy desire her that she can’t tell the difference between desperate neediness and romantic obsession.

To be fair, most guys don’t know the difference.

Which means you need to ask and find out if you’re coming across with a stench of clingy weirdness.

(This is also what people mean when they say you need to “be more confident.” Confidence is the polar opposite of desperation.)

Oh, and don’t ask your best ‘girl buddy’ about this. Chances are she’s only hanging around you because your lack of interest is challenging and attractive to her, OR she’s taken you on as a pet project.

Ask a guy who is known for telling the painful truth, not a friend. If you want the truth, go hunt it down.

Don’t believe the B.S. other people spew as gospel.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #2: You have no social proof…

Social proof is based on the idea of social influence, stating that people will conform in order to be liked or accepted by the influencer (or society).

What that’s saying is that if the group likes it, we like it. If the group accepts it, we tend to accept it.

That group can even be just one person that has a lot of influence.

So here’s the deal: Do you have people that know you and like you? You have to make sure women encounter you with those people.

A lone wolf approach is going to immediately brand you as unproven, strange, and not quite trustworthy.

If you have no friends, that should be your first order of business – WAY before finding a girlfriend. If you did manage to get a girlfriend with no social circle of your own, she’s going to lose you faster than an ass rash, or ask you to join her Goth Facebook page.

Social proof defines humans in a social order. Think of it as your social “credit rating.”

And women want to know you’ve got the points…

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #3: You’re a victim of your own issues…

I talk to guys all the time that are perfectly fine looking, earn a good income, and just look fantastic – on paper.

But the second they go out on a date, or even manage to meet a woman, their weird emotional issues start getting triggered. I call this their “Weird Stuff.”

The do all kinds of things to ruin it for themselves:

• Get jealous, or needy…
• Get hung up on ONE girl that they can never have…
• Get critical and picky – basically pushing every girl away…
• Lose their willingness to stay clean and well shaven
• They start to get insecure and talk themselves into screwing it up

This list could be so long that it would literally break the page you’re reading it on. It also includes things like being too picky to avoid intimacy and connection, as well as a bunch of other “issues.”

The point is that every guy out there knows what his “stuff” is. And every single one of those guys is trying to cover it up with what I call “guy-makeup.” Women cover up imperfections in their face with makeup, and guys like this do the same thing by covering up their weird behaviors (and confidence issues) with guy-makeup.

If you’re going to get that girl, you have to work on yourself, chum. There’s nothing in the world that’s going to keep a woman from seeing through that.

Sooner or later, your Weird Stuff shows up.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #4: You have exactly NO balls…

These days guys seem to really run around in a constant fear of rejection. I’m not going to label generations, but you know what I’m talking about MILLENNIALS! 

I’m kind of kidding there… it’s just about every generation that expects women to walk up and approach THEM. They expect the woman to initiate.

Look, I’m sorry the media has completely misled you on this, but women’s equality does NOT mean she’s just been waiting for the go ahead to start hitting on you.

Men are the supply, and women are the demand.

Men want what women got, so they get to wait for us to step up and prove ourselves to them. It’s the way of nature, and you’re lack of courage won’t change that.

I was like this once myself. Secretly hoping that I could put on a dash of some secret cologne and women would just dog-pile on me.

IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

Anyone that promises this to you isn’t being up-front.

Sure, you can get women feeling attraction and fighting over you – but that takes some skills you probably don’t have right now. AND you still have to reach out and be seen by them in the first place.

So rather than hope you can skate by on a wish and a prayer, you’d be better off figuring out why women seem so scary to you that you can’t even talk to them.

Because if you’re a fraidy cat now, she’s going to make sure you really don’t have any balls in the relationship.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #5: You avoid social situations…

This includes avoiding groups of people for a wide variety of reasons, including the ones that start out with you self-identifying with your “Weird Stuff” I talked about above.

Look, I get it. I’m an introvert at heart. I get my recharge by being alone and playing video games and playing guitar.

A lot of guys who can’t get laid resort to reading and theorizing about the world a lot. They have very little actual practical experience because they want to avoid action. And the best delay tactic is to be stuck in never-ending book learning.

But ultimately, humans are social animals and need to socialize. Not only for friendships, but yeah – to get a girlfriend you need to meet people.

So you have to let go of your fears about social awkwardness a bit. I see a lot of guys who hold on to their solitary lifestyle and defend it with the fervor of a Southern Baptist Pastor on Sunday.

Stop avoiding people and relating to people. Drop your resistance – and you just might find that it’s not so bad as you think.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #6: You’re a negative Nancy…

This reason for not having a girlfriend is similar to the antisocial one in #5 above. A lot of guys use negativity as a defense mechanism, too.

My personal flavor was one of angry sarcasm and dark humor. I came across as funny, but painfully so.

In the end, I didn’t attract anyone because I was so negative about things. The funny part was that I really wasn’t really a negative guy. I just did it for the laughs.

Once you let go of the anger and feelings of injustice that we men often wallow in, we’re more open to people.

Negativity will drown you in emptiness, so let go of that need to pre-judge the world…

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #7: You have NO PLAN…

Let’s face it – most guys wing it.

I did.

I went for years thinking I could just “figure women out” and get what all the other guys were getting. I ended up so wrong that I almost jumped off a bridge.

So don’t ever delude yourself into thinking that love, sex, and relationships are subjects that you’re just “born knowing.”

NO one comes factory installed with the knowledge to attract women.

No one has a “map to my girlfriend” tattooed on their arm for easy reference.

That’s why I made a plan of my own.

I sat down and mapped out all the things you need to get a girlfriend in one easy reference tool…

Go get your copy here…

The post Why You Can’t Get A Girlfriend – 7 Reasons appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Most guys go their whole lives thinking this is the most frightening part of meeting women, and that they will be rejected most of the time.

Let’s be real – if you knew you weren’t going to get rejected, would you approach and ask more girls out?

You bet your ass you would…

The truth is that if you know what you’re doing, you should almost NEVER be rejected by women.

That’s why I’m going to give you 3 secret ways to get her out on a date – and probably a whole lot MORE from her.

HOWEVER – I need to warn you that I’m going to explain some really ninja stuff here. So if you’re against using any kind of mind games with women, you might want to move on.

We’re going to get serious and straight to the truth.

If you want some wishy-washy nonsense about “just act confident” – this isn’t for you.

Secret Strategy 1: Keep your head in the game

Your mind needs to be relaxed and clear when the time comes to finally ask her out.

If you’re all tense and caught up in your own head (or worse – in HER head), you’ll give off a nervous vibe that will make her want to walk away. FAST.

One thing you should do to keep your head clear is NOT think about having sex with her.

I know, I know… that’s like asking a guy not to think at all. But that’s something that comes with practice – and experience.

The more you get laid, the less you need to get all weird about imagining this possible scenario with her in bed. And that means that she won’t get creeped out by your dirty-old-man vibe.

When it’s obvious that you’re planning sex ahead of time, you can really weird women out, which is why you have to push that out of your head.

Don’t worry – if it’s going to happen with her, it’ll happen without you lusting after her fun bags.

Another way to keep your head clear is to remember my Golden Rule of hot women: All Hot Women Poop!

Yeah, you read that right…

Every hot girl you’ve ever met has done the most disgusting things in the bathroom. She’s probably even picked her nose – and even sniffed her own farts.

Did that disgust you?

Well, that’s the kind of REALITY you need to keep in mind when you’re in that giggly, nervous-as-hell state of mind. For a lot of guys, this kicks in when they’re near an attractive woman and it simply overwhelms them.

So, my little Golden Rule will bring you back down to earth and make it easier to keep things in perspective.

After all, she’s just another human being.

If you act like a teenager with a boner every time you talk to a hot girl, she’ll immediately tell herself:

“This guy’s a total loser with girls. It’s highly unlikely he EVER gets laid, and probably won’t have the sexual experience to get me off the way I want. FAIL.”

If you think that sounds harsh, well my friend – that’s just what goes through her mind in the split second it takes to reject you.

And most women do this within the first second of meeting you. She knows that quickly if she’s going to bang you or not.

Don’t believe me? Ask any girl you know that has no problem being raw and real with you.

She’ll nod her head and say, “Hell yeah, buddy.”

Secret Strategy 2: Use the power of Response Potential

This is a fancy psychological term for building up tension in a person so that they are more likely to respond to you. Hence, the response potential.

It’s possible to create a state in a girl where she’s hanging on to your every word. She’ll be pulling on you, and begging you to give her the validation she wants.

Most of time, it’s the other way around. When you’re the one seeking her approval, it automatically destroys your leverage.

Think about it. If someone else wanted something desperately from you, would you consider that person as your EQUAL?

In the same way, you’re not going to earn a woman’s respect if you act NEEDY around her. It just upsets the “power balance” between you two.

You might be thinking, “Hold on a minute, Carlos…it’s not like I’m going beg her to sleep with me. Only an idiot would do that.”

Sure, but what most men don’t realize is that they’re transmitting this “message” to women without knowing it. Here’s what usually happens to a guy:

• During the conversation, his mind is somewhere else thinking about the what-ifs (e.g. “What if she doesn’t like me?”, “What if she thinks I’m a dork?”, “What if she says NO?”)
• Worse, he’s acting like she’s the last woman he’ll ever speak to. So obviously, he has to make it work.
• At this point, he’s so wound up with anxiety that he’s practically transformed into a ball of tension. This is very OBVIOUS to a woman, especially with his off-putting gestures and high-pitched voice.
• When she starts showing signs of disapproval, he’ll close the feedback loop with desperate thoughts like, “She’s going to turn me down just like the others”, “Looks like I’m gonna crash and burn *again*” or “Why do I even bother with these women? They’re all the SAME!”

Sounds familiar? Every guy I know has gone through this – including Yours Truly.

But that’s not an excuse NOT to do anything about it. Here are three basic ways to break this destructive cycle:

• On some level, you need to emotionally detach yourself from the end result. Otherwise, you’ll be too distracted and inevitably turn the conversation into a painful, boring exercise.
• Instead, approach the situation with a healthier mindset that says: “I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I’ll just learn whatever I can from the experience.” This simple shift in thinking will help you have some actual FUN with a girl (instead of dreading the outcome).
• Manage your breathing. Like it or not, your physical self is also a part of the equation, so you need to get that under control, too. YouTube is a good place to start – type in “breathing exercises” (or a similar search term) to find videos that will help you reduce the tension in your body.

Make this a part of your approach routine, and you’ll loosen up around women. Remember, a happy and relaxed attitude tells them that you’re not intimidated by their beauty.

That means you’re in control and don’t need their approval. And when a girl picks up on this message, she’ll be the one chasing after you.

Secret Strategy 3: Use the superpower of FRACTIONATION

Fractionation is a very hush-hush technique in most circles.

What is “fractionation”?

It gets its name from the scientific definition of breaking something down into smaller parts.

When it comes to girls and dealing with how they think, fractionation is a combination of psychology, hypnosis, and persuasion.

In other words, it’s a powerful concoction that spells success for you if you know what to do.

Here are the 3 steps:

1: Build an emotional bond

Using the techniques I’ve taught you so far – and the ones you’ll get from me in my programs – you should have a pretty good understanding of how to do this.

Good conversation skills and an understanding of body language (both reading and “writing” your own) is a foundation for this. She has to open up to you, or else you’re just scratching the surface.

Get her to talk about herself if you want to make her feel comfortable. And this has the added benefit of creating an emotional connection since she will be fully engaged if she’s talking about herself.

Let’s face it – doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or a guy – your favorite topic is always yourself.

2: Build an emotional wave

The best movies and stories all have what I call a dramatic rollercoaster to them.

One of the best examples of this is – believe it or not – Toy Story 2.

It’s a great movie that demonstrates how you can not only make a sequel that is better than the original, but you’ll also understand the power of RISING TENSION.

At every turn, the main characters are being tossed and turned into increasing jeopardy. That creates an emotional wave for us as the viewer.

You want to create the same kind of ups and downs in your conversation – so that the girl you’re with feels an emotional conversation that will engage her and excite her.

3: Use sexual sparks to create attraction

When it comes time to ask her out, there’s no magic words here. Your success will be guaranteed – as long as you set things up right in advance by making her WANT to have a date with you.

I know, that sounds crazy right?

In fact, when a girl WANTS a date with you, you can almost walk away from her just to make her ask YOU out.

Remember: A woman is only in one of 2 modes with a man…

Mode 1: She rejected you in her mind in the first 2 minutes of talking to her. (Actually, it’s more like 20 seconds.) And you’re never getting out of the friend zone.

Mode 2: She wants you and she’s trying to figure out how to get you to want her back just as much.

So if you want to get her in Mode 2 – wanting you – you need to know how to flip her “slut switch” to ON.

Every girl has a nice side and a slightly dirty side.

For the first time, science has isolated the brain-body connection for how women become sexually aroused. And this discovery finally exposes the real reason behind what women SAY they want and who they really pursue and sleep with.

AND why women take risks with some guys, and play it safe with others…

This is the scientific reason why a girl sleeps with some guys on the first date, and with some men she makes them wait through weeks of courtship.

It’s why a woman keeps going back to a bad boy instead of dating the nice guy who treats her right.

And it’s why married women cheat on their husbands…!

There’s a mask that women wear – a mask that portrays them as pure, virtuous angels.

I’m going to tear that mask off today and expose a woman’s dark and primal sexual nature for you.

I’m going to show you how to bring out her inner slut. This is something that most men never get to see – let alone know that it exists.

Some have called this the Good-girl/Naughty girl Complex: either women are sluts, or virgins at their core.

All women have this inner “bad girl” that she can’t admit to (for fear of being shamed and shunned by society)…

…until the right dominant man comes along to awaken it.

CLICK HERE to discover how to awaken the Slut within her….

Oh, and if you haven’t seen my good buddy Chris’ blog, he’s got some great stuff here: https://www.waytoosocial.com/starting-conversations-with-women/

The post How To Get A Girl To Like You – How To Ask A Girl Out (Part 3 of 3) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I mean, you never know what her mood will be from one minute to the next, right?

Let’s face it… when you want to ask a girl out, you only have one answer you really want:

How do you ask her out so she will say YES?

We want the no-risk, guaranteed strategy that avoids any chance of rejection or failure. Now, we know that’s not possible, but we still want to avoid the embarrassment of a woman saying no.

There are typically two kinds of guys who ask this question:

Guy #1) Will ask her out eventually, and he usually figures out the timing.

It’s when he finally works his courage up.

And then there’s…

Guy #2) Will probably never find the courage to ask her out.

But instead, he hopes that if he analyzes it long enough, she will get around to asking HIM out, therefore avoiding any risk.

Guess what, Guy #2. It’ll never happen.

So if you’re a Guy #1, let’s get down to a few ways to ask a girl out – so that she’ll say yes. (Most of the time.)

First of all, if you just met her, you need to make sure you’ve got the energy going before you ask her out.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is to ask a woman out when he’s barely even started a conversation.

Think of it this way: She’s always asking, “What’s in it for me?”

I know a lot of guys that think women will just go out with you to get the free dinner (which you shouldn’t be offering right away, but we’ll get back to that.)

She actually won’t just say yes. She needs to know that she’s going to have a good time.

So always be tuned into her favorite radio station: WIIFM

What’s In It For Me?

We’re all a little selfish – sometimes a LOT selfish – and she needs to know that she won’t be stuck on a date with a guy who can’t talk about much more than sports stats and radical political opinions.

(You’re not one of those guys, right?)

So the first thing you need to know is if you SHOULD ask her out.

The first question you need to ask is: Do I really like this girl?

Sometimes you get a few minutes into a conversation and you realize that maybe she isn’t such a rocket scientist after all. In fact, the conversation feels like pulling teeth.

Your teeth.

But wait… she’s still pretty hot.

But when she opens her mouth, it lowers her 1-to-10 score by at least 3 points.

As a guy, we often get pulled into the dream and fantasy of a girl based on her outward appearance. We initiate conversations based on her looks alone.

And when we go through that much effort to start a conversation, and even get her number, it feels kind of reckless not to at least go out with her once or twice. Which is when we start sliding down that slippery slope of settling.

And if you’re not getting laid regularly right now, sometimes it doesn’t matter to you if she’s all that likable. You’ll still go for it, and ignore the consequences.

Ultimately, though, this catches up to us. We wind up with a girlfriend that doesn’t really make us happy, and we feel trapped.

We wanted regular sex, but we wound up with a shrew that we don’t like spending a lot of time with.

Don’t feel guilty – every guy does this. And eventually we learn the lesson.

The time to save yourself that pain, though, is right up front. When you’re first talking to her.

Make a quick judgement call – is she a cool chick?

What does your gut say? Trust your instincts – they will rarely mislead you.

Some other questions to ask yourself:

– Does she go out of her way to make the conversation flow?

– Does she balance the topics between herself and you? Or is she a me-monkey with a constant need to steer the conversation back to her?

– Does she seem fun and lighthearted? Or darkly sarcastic?

And one of the best indicators of a woman’s personality:

– Does she interrupt you a lot, or does she wait and respect your expression?

You’d be surprised how fast that “interrupt” habit can turn ugly later on.

Remember, some guys marry a woman they really don’t like much just because they got used to the regular sex. And later, when that well ran dry, they found themselves in a truly miserable situation.

So the first question to answer is: “SHOULD I ask her out?”

What’s the next question?

“Is she ready for me to ask her out?”

Remember what I said about getting the energy going in the conversation so that she has a reason to want you to ask her out. She wants to WANT to go out with you – not wonder if she should.

So the best thing you can do early in the conversation is to:

1) Make her laugh

You don’t need to be a standup comic here. All you need to do is get a simple giggle or two that lets her know you’re not a bore.

Make a joke about her purse being big enough to sleep in, for example. A good natured tease is all you need.

2) Ask her a question

Make it a simple open-ended question that can get her to start talking. Open-ended means a question that is not a simple yes/no.

It requires her to come up with something of substance for you to talk about.

Something like: “So how did you end up shopping at the mall on a Tuesday afternoon?”

Nothing complicated here.

And that will serve to …

3) Get her to invest

If she seems hesitant to contribute to the conversation, she’s probably aware of the fact that if she does invest a little of herself, she’ll be much more likely to give you her number and a date.

Once you break through this barrier with her, however, you’ll see that it’s practically a guaranteed hook up later on.

Now if you’re still wondering WHEN the best time is to ask her out, consider this first:

What is an easier favor to ask someone:

– Can you give me a ride?

OR

– Can I borrow your car?

Obviously the first question is much easier. I’d rather part with my front teeth than trust someone with my car.

Getting a ride, on the other hand, seems like a much smaller commitment.

So when you ask a woman out, do you think it’s easier to ask:

– Hey, let me have your phone number so we can connect sometime*

OR

– Hey, let’s set up a date when I can monopolize you for 3 hours or so

The principle here is pretty simple: Ask someone for the lowest possible investment to get them on board.

Because once she’s given you that phone number, it’s not as far of a leap to give you the time to hang out.

The principle here is something that Robert Cialdini (an expert on influence and persuasion) calls Commitment & Consistency.

It’s the way that car dealers get you to buy a luxury sedan when you only stopped in to take a look at a Ford Focus. You get the person to agree to some trivial requests, and it’s not long before they’re on board for something much bigger.

The next one is a pretty simple bit of advice, and you’ve probably heard it a million times by now…

Be confident.

Stay with me here… I know that sounds a bit lame.

After all, what does that mean? How do you “BE” something when you’re not sure how it feels or what confidence even is?

Let’s pin this one down, because that one bit of advice is also one of the worst when there’s no explanation of HOW to be confident.

Confidence is really 95% imaginary. It’s the temporary delusion that you know what you’re doing, and that you’re fully capable of handling the situation.

Confidence is also 95% physical.

That means that if you LOOK confident to her, you ARE confident. After all, she really has no way of knowing what you’re actually thinking.

Even the most confident people you know are riddled with self-doubt and fear.

They just do one thing differently: They hide it better.

And the only way to hide it is in confident body language.

The cool part of this is that if you emulate the body language of someone that’s confident, it has a “backflow effect” of making you actually think and believe you’re more confident.

What is confident body language?

– Chin up

Not so you’re looking down your nose at people, but at least so your head is looking straight ahead.

– Shoulders down and back

Relax your shoulders. Don’t let them shrug up or hunch forward. By pressing them down and back, you’ll also accentuate your chest.

– Steady eyes

Don’t scan all over the place. Just lock eyes (gently!) with her.

Avoid the “Manson Lamps” where your gaze is too intense and overpowering. Just pretend you’re a little stoned.

That slightly sleepy – but attentive – gaze is enough to give you a relaxed confidence.

– Straight posture

Pretend that you’re being pulled up by the crown of your head. It will give you a good inch or two in height, as well as straighten up your posture.

This is one of the most important ways men demonstrate physical dominance, and you can’t ignore it.

So there are a few tips to help you figure out that all-important question of “how” and “when” to ask her out.

And just in case you missed it, I passed along my priceless “Magical Phrase” above*, for getting her number – and the date – later.

In case you missed it, here it is again:

“Hey, let me have your phone number so we can connect sometime…”*

It’s 12 simple words that get you her contact info so you can get the date later.

Use them, and I guarantee you’ll get the girl…

And once you’ve gotten her phone number, you can do so much more than just get a date.

I can teach you how to get attractive, model-quality women to send you naughty photos, call and beg YOU to sleep with them, and reply to your texts IMMEDIATELY. Take the next step by clicking HERE.

The post Ways to ask a girl out appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Or “No, not tonight…”

Or “We’re moving too fast…”

I’m sure you’ve heard one of those, or maybe even a few others.

All of them basically tell you one thing:

You’re not getting laid tonight.

Wouldn’t it be better if you knew this in advance? So you could cut your losses?

Maybe go home and watch a movie or get a few hours extra sleep.

Well, I’m going to share a few of the signs that tell you you’re not getting laid so you can spot this roadblock way in advance.

Sign #1 that you’re not getting laid tonight:

She’s cold and “different.”

You sense a change in the climate with her. She’s nothing like she was the other night when you were all sunshine and cuddly kittens together.

And the more you try to get that affection and spark going, the more she seems to resist you.

Frankly, the best thing you can do in this situation is to just do a 180 and freeze her out a little. Don’t act like you’re a spoiled kid who can’t get his way, mind you. If you look like you’re retaliating against her, you’ll probably never see her again.

Instead, make and excuse to go sit in a chair away from her. Flip through some comedies, and chill.

Keep your good humor, and just let her feel the pressure of possible rejection. Let HER sweat it a little.

You’d be amazed how quickly this will turn that attitude around.

Sign #2 that you’re not getting laid tonight:

She talks about how she’s emotionally “fragile” or wounded in some way.

She mentions some kind of emotional “trauma”

This is different from talking about not wanting a boyfriend. That’s just a sign she’s looking for no-strings sex.

But when she talks about how she’s been hurt, and her heart is mending, and all that crap…

You can be sure that she’s in desperate need of validation.

You can give her a little of that validation, but don’t let her push you into wussy behavior as a result. This is where guys go WAY wrong with a woman and start turning into nurturing care-bears.

She doesn’t need (or want) your inner mom. Just listen to her (for a little) and then change the subject to something fun and positive. If she resists the change and wants to drone about her heartache, run for the hills.

Really, man. I know it doesn’t sound “sympathetic,” but you’re not going to be able to help her. And you’ll just drag your own attitude down as a result.

Sign #3 that you’re not getting laid tonight:

She wants to just “cuddle.”

Cuddling is the cheap tactic women pull out of their hat when you’re at the finish line and she wants to slam on the brakes.

Yeah, you might hear something like the aforementioned:

“No, I’m not ready…”

Or “No, not tonight…”

Or “We’re moving too fast…”

But she’s doing one of two things:

1) She’s trying to test you and see if you can handle her putting on the brakes.

This is a HUGE test of a guy and it tells her a ton about you.

If you get all whiney and pushy and bratty about not getting some, then she knows you’re trying to get the sex more than you are actually into her.

And guess what happens next? Yep, she’ll be nice and try to appease you, but you’re not getting any.

2) She’s not feeling the kind of hot & heavy attraction (or connection) that she needs to sleep with you.

This usually means that you missed a step somewhere along the way. It’s going to be up to you to re-establish that missed ingredient to get her into you again.

There are many other signs that a woman isn’t ready to sleep with you, but these are a few of the big ones you can spot right away.

And ultimately they all trace back to your ability to move her forward to the finish line.

…and it’s up to YOU to make this happen.

There’s a whole roadmap of going from “hello” to “good morning” with a woman. And you have to know every step along the way if you want to avoid the dreaded: “Not tonight” from a woman.

And the fact is that guys make 4 very simple but HUGE mistakes with women.

And these four mistakes make it nearly impossible for them to get sexual with her.

If you want to learn what those mistakes are, just GO HERE…

The post 3 Signs You’re Not Getting Laid Tonight appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Because there are 7 simple rules to follow to learn when to ask a girl out and trust me when I tell you: ignore them at your own risk. Why?

Because it’s hard to answer this question about when to ask a girl out in your favor without being dishonest: “Of all the beautiful girls you have met up until a year ago… how many of them have you taken out on a date?”

Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

The reason that you can’t tell me that you dated 100% of the hot girls you have met during the last 12 months is that you did not know when to ask a girl out…

And that it’s MORE important than knowing how to ask a girl out! In come the 7 rules…

The rules of when to ask a girl out that will get you close to asking out 100% of the girls you meet THIS year.

The 7 Rules Of When To Ask A Girl Out

1) Learning when to ask a girl out starts with asking yourself: why wait?

I’ve said it a million times but I still see it happening every day. Guy calls girl, guy asks if she has time this weekend, guy may get lucky… and he may not.

Why not ask what a girl is doing RIGHT NOW man? Dude, if she has time to pick up the phone then she must have time to hang out with you. Make it a 30 minute speed date if you have to, but just remember that the best time for when to ask a girl out is right freaking now!

2) Company can kill when you ask a girl out…

A girl can always tell you that she will meet you at whatever AM at place so and so, but if she has company then the question is: does she feel comfortable doing it?

Especially when it comes to when to ask a girl out for a first date, it can be a problem if her friends are there. Or worse: her family. Even worse: her parents. It makes her feel ashamed, shy, and feel the pressure at the same time.

By asking a girl what she’s doing right now you won’t try stupid stuff like asking a girl out while her parents are with her. Because guess how that usually ends? Hint: it starts with an f and ends with –ailure. Failure.

3) You’ll know when to ask a girl out as soon as you have fun…

Because that’s when you ask her out dude! Seriously, I really don’t know where the silly idea came from that you MUST get her number, call her a couple times, and then ask her out.

If you’re already having a great time when you meet her, then why not go on a date only minutes after you met her?

And if you’re having fun the first time you call her, then why not suggest continuing the conversation over some drinks like normal people do?

Don’t wait any longer than you have to. The longer you wait, the more a girl starts thinking you are NOT interested.

4) Learn when to ask a girl out by using your strengths.

When you know you SUCK at calling girls because the minute you do, you stutter or talk really fast or freeze up? Then why ask for their phone number man? You’re much better off asking them out then and there. Much better off asking for a Facebook profile even, because screwing up the first phone call KILLS your chances with girls.

Same goes for when you’re shy at first but all fun when you meet someone the second time: get that phone number a.s.a.p., then call and ask a girl out.

Don’t make knowing when to ask a girl out harder than it needs to be. Play to your strengths.

5) When it comes to when to ask a girl out, timing is everything…

If you’re good at asking a girl out over the phone, then what are the odds of her picking up in the middle of the day? Slim. But everyone’s at home from work or college around 8 PM.

If you’re good at asking a girl out face-to-face, then what are the odds of you meeting them at 1 PM? Slim. But from 8 AM to 9 AM and from 5 PM to 7 PM? That’s when everyone goes to work/college OR goes home FROM work/college, so that’s when you go out and meet girls.

Bonus tip for when you want college girls: 8 to 11 AM and 3 PM to 5 PM are the best times for when to ask a girl out face-to-face, because that’s usually when their classes start or end.

6) Knowing when to ask a girl out is like shooting a gun: ready, aim, fire!

I think you know that walking up to a girl and immediately asking her out won’t do you much good, but it surprises me how many guys call girls and immediately pop the question.

Wrong move, my friend.

When you’re ready to ask a girl out over the phone (the method of choice for most men), then warm her up a little bit by teasing her. Joking around. And then ask her out.

It’s a ready, aim, fire thing. Not a shoot first and ask questions last situation.

7) The best time for when to ask a girl out is when talking about activities and locations

Some topics pop up naturally in a conversation. Things like what she likes to do, where she usually goes shopping, this great place where they serve the best … ever. Stuff like that.

Why not use that to your advantage?

I mean, when you’re already talking about how this or that shopping mall is so incredibly awesome… then why not tell her you want to go there with her RIGHT NOW?

It makes perfect sense: if she’s all enthusiastic and happy about an activity or a place, then why not go there for a great date?

And hey, don’t worry if you hear a “No” and are confused about when to ask a girl out afterwards. Because I know just the thing that can help you. Well, 4 things actually…

When To Ask A Girl Out If She Said “No” Before

Don’t ever think the “No” a girl gives you is a definite no, because it’s not. It’s only a “No, not yet” because they can’t decide who they fall in love with. It’s because attraction is NOT a choice, therefore they can say they don’t think they should date you all they want…

But attraction is a feeling based on emotions, so if you create the right emotions then a girl can’t help but be attracted to you. That’s right. That’s how persistent you should be when it comes to when to ask a girl out.

Having said that, I want you to know…

There are 3 things you can do when it comes to when to ask a girl out if she said “No”:

– Lower the risk for her: everything from insecurities to nightmarish exes can make a girl feel she isn’t ready for meeting you alone. I would say half the time this is the reason why girls said “No”, but the solution is simple though: tell her to bring a friend so she’s no longer alone. Then ask one of your friends to be your wingman for the other chick. It’s that simple.

– Try harder: knowing when to ask a girl out involves knowing when you have not done enough yet. When there is not enough attraction to ask a girl out. If I were you, I would try lowering the risk for her and if that isn’t enough then you KNOW you need to boost the attraction more before you ask her out. Try again after a week or so.

– Make it casual: sometimes lowering the risk and trying harder isn’t enough in the “when to ask a girl out department.” Some girls want to stay as far away from a relationship as possible and avoid dates like the plague, usually because they have a fear of commitment or they’re busy (which is an excuse for the fear of commitment). So make it casual: don’t say the word date, just ask her to come drink those awesome cocktails at bar XYZ, see the ABC movie that’s awesome, etc. and invite friends if you have to so it doesn’t feel like a date AT ALL.

When it comes to when to ask a girl out, you can also meet her at a neutral place: she doesn’t want to go to club XYZ with you? Then tell her to meet you for coffee. She doesn’t want to go to a restaurant? Then tell her you’ll buy her a burger at some fastfood place in a local mall.

That’s knowing when to ask a girl out if she isn’t comfortable around you yet: finding a place or activity that’s a little more “low key” so she’ll feel comfortable going there/doing it.

And if you want to know more about how or when to ask a girl out… including the EXACT words to say and more techniques for getting dates… then make sure you get the free tips inside my members-only Inner Game Newsletter right now.

The Newsletter gives you everything you’ll ever need to attract a girl and to ask a girl out.

One More Thing About When To Ask A Girl Out…

I’m not kidding when I tell you: if you use the 7 rules of when to ask a girl out + the 3 techniques of when to ask a girl out if she said “No” before… then success is guaranteed.

The two only exceptions I can think of are: lesbians… and bi-sexual girls who are on a girl streak right now!

That’s how powerful the insights of today’s blog post on when to ask a girl out are. I sincerely hope you liked it.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Looking for more tips on how to improve your confidence... or how to approach women, oh so beautiful women? And do you want tips for how to create attraction as well? Then the tips inside my Inner Game Newsletter might be just what you need. Click here now to find out more!

The post When To Ask A Girl Out If You Always Want To Hear A YES! appeared first on How To Win With Women.