When it comes to talking to women, knowing WHAT to say is huge.

It’s probably the most common question I get from guys, in fact.

“What do I say to her?”

And it’s just as important to know how to talk to a girl in a way that gets her sexually interested in you.

Let’s start off with a few things you shouldn’t say to a girl:

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 1: Overly personal questions…

Some guys jump right into a rapid-fire interrogation of a woman when they meet her. It’s not meant to be scary or weird, just curious.

It’s not a job interview…

But if you ask her a bunch of questions about where she lives, where she works, where she likes to hang out, etc, it can freak a girl out.

Remember, women are always sensitive and aware of the threat of possible sexual assault, so you have to be sensitive to this when talking to her.

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 2: Complimenting her on her appearance…

There is a right way and a wrong way to bring up a woman’s appearance. Most guys use this hook as a way to flatter a woman, and it usually sounds douchey and lame.

You don’t want to launch into a speech about how hot she looks, or any kind of compliments about her body. That just feels way too weird up front.

Avoid compliments that aren’t insightful and thoughtful.

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 3: Bragging, or any kind of grandstanding…

Guys often feel like the most important thing to do when meeting a girl for the first time is to impress her.

This is usually the WORST thing you can do.

I get it, you want to stand out from the pack and look like a high-quality mating opportunity for her, but again it just looks douchey. Kinda like those mating dances that animals do to impress each other.

Don’t be THIS guy.

When a guy tries to impress a woman up front, he’s saying: “Hey, you’re the prize and I’m just a schmuck trying to win you over. I have inferior value, so I need to try hard to get your approval.”

The high value man doesn’t play this game. He knows that he wants HER to start trying to impress him as soon as possible in the conversation.

Don’t give your power away with this kind of needy behavior.

Okay, so what SHOULD you say to a girl?

Let’s cover a few of them:

What To Say To A Girl 1: “You caught my eye…”

Actually, you want to say this subtly, but you should give her a reason for your approaching her. Every woman knows WHY you’re talking to her – you want to bang her. It’s simple sexual science.

But she also wants to hear it in a way that tells her you’re confident and you’re going after what you want. That alone is flattering to her.

DOn’t let a good opportunity pass you by.

So just tell her something like:

“Hey, I saw you and thought you had a real nice energy about you. I knew I’d kick myself later if I didn’t say hi. My name’s ________”

That’s a sure-fire opener that will get you into a conversation with just about any girl.

Just say it with a level of seriousness. I see a lot of guys that approach and talk to women with a tone that is goofy and awkward – and they’re doing it on purpose! Usually to avoid being vulnerable in the event they’re rejected.

The beauty of this opener is that she can’t reject you. You just started a conversation based on curiosity. That’s it.

What To Say To A Girl 2: “I’m impressed…”

Letting a woman know you’re impressed with her is a subtle way of implying that she is working to get your approval. It’s a great way of flipping the tables on her so that she doesn’t think you’re just some guy trying to kiss her butt to get into her bed.

During the course of the conversation, if she says something you find interesting – or approval worthy – just say: “Huh. I’m impressed…”

She’ll feel acknowledged, and she’ll instantly feel a little pull towards you that she can’t explain.

What To Say To A Girl 3: “You look like trouble…”

This one goes way back to the old “pickup artist” days…

Basically you tell her how you see her as being a “bad girl.” Women like this mostly because they’ve been framed by society as these pure, snow-white angels of virtue. Girls can do no wrong, we’re told over and over again.

NOT!

Nothing sexier than a woman who can handle her own…

And not only is this false, she’s also dying to find a guy that knows it and is savvy enough to bring it out in the light. To talk about it.

Just tell her:

“You look like trouble. Are you planning a bank heist … like ‘Ocean’s 8’ or something?”

You’re not trying to brag your way into her world – you’re showing her that you’re seeing HER. This is a major turn-on for women.

They are obsessed with being able to cast a spell over the male mind… being so irresistible that you will crawl through miles of broken glass just to cry in her shadow.

What To Say To A Girl 4: “Maybe I was wrong about you…”

Another way to covertly flatter a woman (while positioning yourself as a high-value Alpha man) is to tell her you’re changing your mind about her.

Now, she might not have had the first care about what you think of her – at first. But once you tell her that you’re starting to warm up to her:

• She feels a jolt of approval…
• She wonders, “Wait… he didn’t like me before? WHY?”

It’s a little mind-trick, but it’s something that positions you much better in her mind than just blanketly approving of her. Most “nice guys” make this mistake of approving all over her – gushing their desire on her like a bad porn movie.

Drop that attitude now, because it’s the one thing that has kept you stuck in the friend zone with most of the women you meet.

You want to imply that you’re just starting to warm up to her, and it’s surprising. Get her to understand how she needs to step up and work for YOUR approval.

What To Say To A Girl 5: “No way…”

Again, most guys spend far too much time agreeing with women.

Another way to spark some attraction is to pull back a bit in disbelief. You can do this with slight sarcasm, or just a hint of “yeah… rrrrright.”

As your conversation progresses, and you start to warm up to each other, find a ripe moment where you can just not believe something she says.

Pique her interest with a good challenge…

Maybe she says she’s on her way to meet her mom for lunch…

“Yeah, right… I bet you use that on all the guys you’re trying to escape.”

Maybe she says she’s going to pick up her car from the shop…

“No way. You’re definitely a ‘lease the Lexus’ kind of girl. I’m not buying it.”

It’s playful and fun, with a hint of teasing.

What To Say To A Girl 6: “You like me…”

Again, in the vein of ‘things to say that reverse the roles…’

What you want to do is imply that she likes you, in a funny, non-douchey way.

• She says: “Oh, I don’t like that coffee” (or anything where she disagrees with you.)
• YOU say: “You’re starting to like me, huh?” (Smirk)

It’s your turn to play ‘hard to get’…

The humor should be there, of course. And it’s something that will get a laugh from her as well.

It’s also a way of breaking out of the usual routine of complimenting and kissing her ass all the time.

Just imply with an oblivious tone that she’s falling in like with you.

What To Say To A Girl 7: “That’s it, we’re done…”

You have to realize that 99% of all guys say the exact same things to a woman.

Usually involving him pretending to want to be a friend so he can, maybe, sneak into being her boyfriend in some magical fantasy he’s concocted in his head.

The pretending to be a friend is, of course, just another way to avoid the risk of being rejected. And in so doing ensures that he only winds up as her friend.

You have to know the kind of fun, challenging things to tell her that will spark her interest.

Who can resist cute, little furry animals?

One of the best is to pretend that you’re both already dating, and now it’s over.

“Yeah, I’m thinking we need to breakup. I’ll take the cats, you take the microwave. Deal?”

For one, woman hate the “breakup zone” so she’ll instantly be triggered to WANT to connect with you by framing it like this.

For another, it demonstrates that you can push back and disapprove of her – heck, even present yourself as a guy who can break it off with a woman. Jokingly.

There’s a lot going on with this one, and it is all good.

Plus, it’s funny.

And even more important, you need to know how to talk to women – and not have to memorize any lines…

Women are turned on by words, in fact.

But when you’re in the moment, face-to-face with a girl, you know you’re probably going to forget everything, right?

It’s like getting on stage for a play and forgetting your lines…

And that’s what usually stops guys from ever talking to a woman in the first place.

I’ve got the perfect solution for you –

I want to show you how to unleash a woman’s erotic desire for you – with only words.

Go watch my free presentation on how to have Fearless Conversation With Any Woman

The post What To Say To A Woman – 7 Phrases That Make Women Hot For You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Women are attracted to masculine men, no matter what the media tries to tell you.

You’re going to hear more and more nauseating, confusing and ridiculous information that tells you to “condemn the patriarchy” and embrace someone else’s ‘vision’ (agenda) for the future.

Go ahead and listen to them, and read them if you like, but keep your critical thinking hat on.

Don’t let them confuse you from the truth about what women want.

Is this what a REAL man looks like?

Women want one thing and one thing only, no matter how much everyone tries to believe the opposite:

Women want real MEN.

What’s a ‘real man,’ anyway? Isn’t that subjective?

Doesn’t that just change depending on who you ask?

No, not really.

Masculine – AKA ‘manly’ – traits are fairly consistent.

In my 16 years of doing this dating advice for men gig, one thing I’ve noticed is that feminists (and women with issues – often the same people) rarely (like almost NEVER) challenge me. They seem to sense right off the bat that I’m fully grounded in my identity as a man. I don’t buy into their fluffy white idealistic new-age nonsense.

And yet I see men everywhere challenged in their identities, words, and actions.

It’s a shame, because these are otherwise solid and well-meaning guys. But they lack the fortitude and conviction in themselves to transmit a vibe of MAN to the outside world.

Now, I’m not some knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. I’m not some one-dimensional idiot from a 1940’s movie.

Nor do I rage with testosterone 24/7.

I’m sophisticated and peaceful. And I know a thing or two about cultivating the attitude that women love. That’s why I wrote this little manifesto today for you.

In honor of the passing of R. Lee Ermey (the amazing drill instructor from “Full Metal Jacket“) – this is going to feel a bit like boot camp to you.

Suck it up, Buttercup…

So let’s dig in right now with the 3 Steps to becoming the man women desire…

Become The Alpha Man – Step 1: Grow A Pair, Soldier…!

I’m profoundly disturbed by the culture of waffling, weaseling, and sneakiness I see in men around me every day. I think this was cultivated from too many hours poring over their social media. Trying to make themselves not feel jealous of other people’s lives… and failing.

Posting images of what you ate last night?

Seriously?

Food porn?

I could not give shit-one about that. Anyone else that “likes” that image of your quail-egg soup is also not caring; they’re simply conditioned by the Facebook Illuminati to hammer away at that button whether or not they care. They’ve trained our brain’s reward system to “get off” on our phones.

Realize This: People don’t really “like” something if all they had to do was spend a microsecond hitting a blue button…

What they were doing was yelling “Hey! I’m here! I matter! Don’t forget about me!” into the void.

That’s what most people are doing out there. Hoping that – in this mindless chatter of internet idiocy, we don’t get forgotten. After all, we all deserve to be celebrities!

Right?

WRONG. 

REMEMBER: 90% of the things people post in social media are the fake, smiley propaganda of their lives. They’re just as desperate, unhappy, and unfulfilled as everyone else. They’re just trying to make up a better marketing campaign so that you might not see it.

Social media is a lie.

The truly successful aren’t on Facebook or Instagram posting their successes – they’re living them.

Get your balls back and start to reclaim your confidence and convictions.

Stop living your life in the virtual world.

Start by drawing yourself up a list of the virtues you stand for. I’ll bet not one man in a hundred has ever done this, but it’s essential to who you are. (I’ve attached my complete list of virtues at the end of this article. Use them as your reference.)

Women are attracted – almost unconditionally – to a man who knows what he stands for. It’s the reason that women don’t test or push me around. They know I’m solid and grounded.

And they should know the same about you, soldier.

Take action. Get busy.

You’ve got a good 50 to 60 more years in you, if you don’t eat junk food and get diabetes by 25 like most of the new crop these days.

Go ask that chick out… stop worrying about “the perfect words.” (The Perfect Words  are simply the ones you actually say instead of think.)

She’ll say yes BECAUSE YOU ASKED with conviction, not because you waited 10 years for just the right thing to say to avoid rejection.

Go stir some things up and make a mess. The world gets down on its knees and unzips your pants when you jump in the game instead of trying to watch from your iphone.

“Conflict is a forge for the steel of your willpower.” – Carlos Xuma

Be The Man Women Want – Step 2: Get Out Of The Cry Closet…!

You’re still here, Private? Good! You haven’t rung the bell and quit? Fantastic!

Now drop your hanky, and cut that weepy crap.

Too much indulgence in sadness make a man pathetic.

I’m about as kind, compassionate, and loving as you’re ever going to find in a guy – so don’t mistake this for macho posturing.

But these days everyone seems to need their weepy emotions aired to everyone else because we all think our emotions matter more than anything.

NEWS FLASH! Emotions are an energy source for men. Not your ‘cry closet.’

Emotions are not your place to sulk and ruminate. That’s for women.

Every guy came fresh from the factory with a hot little pepper of anger inside that he needs to tame and utilize for his power. Your anger is a nugget of plutonium

And also – drop that crying crap right now. It’s like this new revolution encouraging men to start acting pathetic. You can FEEL your sadness, son. But you CONTAIN those emotions. Throw boundaries around them – and then channel them over to your batteries.

Crying is surrender.

Crying is “I give up.”

That’s how you feel when you do it, if you think back to how it feels on the inside. It’s a complete resignation that comes from your core.

And that is something no man can entertain. And after a while this reaction becomes rehearsed, and starts to turn you into a weak, rubbery … well, girl.

Look – that’s not an insult to women. Women can handle their emotional highs and lows – they’re used to riding them. It’s part of a woman’s nature to deal with vacillating emotions.

“If civilization had been left in female hands we would still be living in grass huts…”
– Camille Paglia (renowned feminist)

But men use their emotions as fuel for forward progress. We are the action that supports their emotional insight.

Again, FEEL your emotions – but do not DWELL on them!

(By the way – cry closets are a real thing that some universities have implemented for the wuss students that can’t handle their own emotions. And you should be a little shocked by that…)

Be An Attractive Alpha Man – Step 3: Drop the Mic…!

Okay, you made it to Step 3, so I’m promoting you Private FIRST CLASS.

And you’re ready to hear the one thing that’s gonna make panties drop around the world for you…

You need to drop your mic…

Be the man she’s been waiting for…

Yup, show-stopping commitment to your convictions means you speak your mind and drop the microphone.

Walk off stage, and get to work.

There is no dress-rehearsal for life. You’re in the mix right now, grunt.

So make a DECISION. That’s really what I’m talking ’bout here.

Stop waffling and start committing yourself to a story of your own making. Don’t wait for other people to choose for you. Because as Rush said in “Free Will”:

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

Plant your flag and stand for what you believe in. This is the source of that “confidence” everybody tells you to have to attract girls.

They’re right – though it’s not the false confidence of a “pickup line.” It’s the real, dyed-in-the-wool feeling of being VALID.

Worthy.

Only YOU can give yourself that, son.

Stake your claim…

Just check in with reality (such that it is) from time to time to make sure you’re not off on another delusion that the world made up to distract you.

Make sure you read classic literature for being a man:

• The Prince – Nicolo Machiavelli
• 48 Laws Of Power – Robert Greene
• Call of the Wild – Jack London
• Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
• Walden – Henry David Thoreau
• The Art Of War – Sun Tzu
• Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu (no relation to Sun.)

– or the writings of Seneca and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations (which is free on the web.) These guys had masculinity all sewn up and tattooed on their souls over 2000 years ago.

Being a man is an opportunity and a PRIVILEGE! Though, you might not know it from the way people talk these days.

• Ignore the politically charged deluded people out there trying to bend reality to their weaknesses…
• Ignore the obviously misguided masses who only want attention to their plight – whatever it is. (Frankly if it’s not starvation, your whining is just getting on everyone’s nerves.)
• Ignore the people who really only want to grab their own power and control you…

It’s time to drop your mic right now.

Make a decision to start living your life instead of projecting it at other people. Your life isn’t a rumor or a publicity stunt. It’s comprised of the time you’ve got to make your mark, soldier.

It’s what separates the boys from the men – and it’s what makes women want them.

If you want to know more about the complete plan to be an Alpha Man, go here…

• Carlos X.

______________________

VIRTUES:

Wisdom

• Curiosity
• Love of learning
• Judgment
• Ingenuity
• Emotional intelligence
• Perspective

Courage

• Valor
• Perseverance
• Integrity

Humanity

• kindness
• Loving

Justice

• citizenship
• Fairness
• Leadership

Temperance

• Self control
• Prudence
• Humility

Transcendence

• Appreciation of beauty and excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Spirituality
• Forgiveness
• Humour
• Zest

The post 3 Steps To Becoming The Man That Women Want appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Ah, women.

If you’re not completely captivated by the female species…you’re terrified of them. Strange how the possibility of getting turned down sends waves of fear even through the hardest of men.

Blame it on biological programming I guess. Back then, hitting on the wrong lady-folk literally meant death. If the woman you had your eye on happened to be tight with the big cheese in the village, he and his boys would treat you as a threat.

Cavemen had instinctive knowledge of how to attract women… sometimes

And well, let’s just say he’s not going to let you off with a verbal warning. (Unless your definition of a warning is “getting your head bashed in with the nearest blunt object.”)

These days, any blows dealt are the emotional and psychological kind.

The Curious Case of Brad the Doormat

My friend Brad is a 26-year-old programmer at a mobile app company who loves sci-fi films and plays a lot of video games.  He also has trouble talking to the ladies. He’s petrified by fear the moment the conversation starts.

I know what you’re thinking, so let me stop you right there…

Despite how Brad might seem at first, he’s quite a sociable guy. He enjoys meeting new people and making friends. He even had a pretty hot girlfriend not too long ago – and that’s actually where the problem started. Brad had been in a relationship with this girl for over a couple of years and things were going great.

That is, until she decided to cheat on him with some jock-looking dude who swept her off her feet. Brad was shattered to the core, as any guy would be in his shoes.

Don’t despair…

It’s not that the jerk that his girl ran off with was “better” than him.  It turned out they’d drifted apart for some time and her cheating was just the final nail in the coffin.

In any case, it really did a number on Brad. He’d built his life around their relationship, so he had a hard time starting over. It was especially difficult meeting new women, especially with starting a conversation with them.

Some part of Brad was afraid of messing up again, so he became a super needy, “yes man”version of himself. As a result, he’d crumble at the first sign of resistance.  Either that, or he’d end up going a few dates with someone until she’d gotten enough free dinners and gifts before kicking him to the curb.

Awakening Your Inner Alpha

It was at this point that I stepped in. After watching Brad walk out of one dating minefield and straight into another, I knew I had to rebuild him from the ground up. The fear of women giving you a hard time or rejecting you is a nothing more than psychological hang-up. And if you can’t find a way to get over this mental block around women, they’re going to walk all over you and eat you alive.

But it’s not because women have some grand diabolical scheme to persecute guys.

When a woman puts up an attitude, or seems she’s being vicious on purpose … the truth is that she’s putting you through a screening process for her own protection.

Whoah buddy…

She’s not about to just let any random schmuck in her pants, no matter how attracted she is to him. And the fact that she considers you as a “candidate” means that you already have a shot. Your job is to NOT mess it up by choking at a crucial moment.

Going back my “earlier days” example, women had to choose the right mate, or else they’d be screwed.  They needed a partner that could stand alongside them and brave the big bad world with her and their future offspring.

So if you react in a non-alpha way with your words, actions or behavior, her survival instincts will tell her to give you the boot.

So the real trick is not to shrivel up when a girl gives you crap after trying to hit on her. But it’s not a simple matter of telling yourself NOT to freak out when the moment comes. You need to make some changes on a deeper level to develop a backbone in the dating world.

So let’s get down to it…

Just Break the Damn Ice

Think of talking to women as bungee jumping: the longer you hesitate, the LESS you want to step off the edge.

The most common problem guys have with taking that leap is overthinking the what-ifs.

You might be telling yourself:

• – “What if she doesn’t like me?”
• – “What if she laughs in my face?”
• – “What if she acts like a total bitch and shoots me down in front of everyone?”
• – “What if we don’t gel and the conversation becomes super awkward?”

I can guarantee you ALL guys have gone through this to some degree. But clearly it hasn’t stopped SOME of them from picking up women and even getting laid.

So don’t stress out about how to get a conversation started.  Contrary to popular belief, there is no perfect pickup like or opener – in fact, it’s better that you DON’T have pre-packaged material.

Before I drop the mic…

There might have been a time when that artificial stuff worked, but thanks to the internet, women have caught on. They’re going to smell that stilted dialogue a mile away. Keep it organic instead and pick a topic to talk about.

It may be something as inane as the weather if you’re outside, or the weird way the oranges are stacked at the grocery aisle (seriously – that’s how I got a girl’s number before). Make a funny comment, offer your opinion or simply make an observation.

That last one works pretty well, especially if you say something like, “You strike me as someone who hates 80s covers” or an equally cheeky statement that elicits a response from her. You just need to find a topic as a springboard for other topics later on.

What matters is you don’t think about it too much and just get your foot in the door, so to speak. I’m aware you’re STILL worried about things going south, but we’ll deal with that later on.

Right now, try to remember that this whole talking and flirting deal is a GAME anyway, so you should treat it as such.

Controlling attraction is the answer…

Have a little faith in yourself that you can power through those typical snags guys hit when starting out.

Let’s go a little deeper and move on, shall we?

Be Funny

Easier said than done, I know. But there’s no way around this if you want to catch a girl’s attention.The good news is that it’s also not as hard as you think. I suggest you watch some videos of funny guys in movies and standup sets.

I’m not saying you have to be a Jim Carrey or Dave Chappelle clone – that would be sad and cringe-worthy. What I want you to do is to get a feel of the different styles out there, and how humor and comic timing work.

Observe how the greats point something out from a situation and exaggerate it to a ridiculous degree.

Going extreme can really amp up the attraction…

You’ll find a particular approach that resonates with you, and you should emulate (read: NOT imitate) that. No matter what style you have, you need to have ONE to begin with. Again, don’t worry if your brand of humor doesn’t click with a particular girl.

There are a hundred different reasons (most of which have nothing do to with you) why she didn’t laugh at your clever 90s Seinfeld reference.

She might be having a crap day, her pet plant died, her boss might have chewed her out just a couple of hours earlier, or she just might be a mean person. It doesn’t matter – It just means it wasn’t meant to be and your time is better spent on someone else.

Nothing personal.

And when you jokes DO click with a certain girl, the rest of conversation will take care of itself.

She’s there for you…

She is out there, and you just need to find someone who will “get it.” Like your opener, jokes are just a means to an end – which is getting her guard down and making a connection.

Side note: Try not to use humor that’s too dark or heavy. Comedians like Jimmy Carr are masters at this, but it’s definitely NOT for everyone. It takes a level of familiarity before unleashing this kind of stuff on someone. Save it for much later when you’re sure she won’t freak out – and use it sparingly even then.

Be Shameless

Ok, don’t get me wrong. Acting like a douche, making overtly sexual jokes and getting too handsy will earn you a well-deserved slap in the face.

But on the other side of the pickup spectrum, don’t be so damn apologetic about yourself either.

Look, I know she’s hot and all, but that doesn’t give her a license to judge or talk down to you. Nor does it mean you should waive your right to having an opinion – even if it doesn’t line up with hers.

The hottest couples I know RARELY agree on most things. What keeps them going is the RESPECT they have for their differences, and you need to establish that as early as now.

Which means you shouldn’t be afraid to be REAL with a girl. Again, you can do this without being an actual jerk about it.

Here are some examples:

• – If your passion is building model cars in your basement, don’t act like you have the plague. When she asks you about your hobbies, answer honestly with a smile and be HAPPY about it. How she reacts to it is up to HER, not you.
• – NEVER be sorry about anything if you haven’t crossed any lines (i.e. being creepy, getting too personal, using inappropriate language, etc.).
• – Here are some low-value statements that lower her respect and kill any attraction she has for you: “I’m sorry I’m not your type”, “I’m sorry I’m not a dog person, I hope that doesn’t turn you off”, “I’m sorry for talking to you, I didn’t mean to bother you.”
• – Be upfront about your intentions. You don’t have to spell it out exactly, but the way you present yourself and communicate with her should tell her what direction you want to take with her (i.e. NOT taking the “let’s just be friends” route).
• – Don’t be surprised that women ALSO hate it when a guy would rather hide his feelings of attraction instead of coming out with it. If your goal is to get a date with her, accept that the possibility of a “no” comes with the territory.

Be a (little) Smart-ass

This is the perfect antidote to spinelessness. You may think that you don’t have it in you, but you never know until you try pushing back a little.

Women are 100% more likely to respect you for holding your ground and keeping your dignity – even if you’re being treated like crap. For women with a sweeter disposition, putting yourself out there (even if you’re terrified!) and being a decent human being to them is more than ENOUGH.

(And mind you, I’m not talking about the entitled I’m-such-a-nice-guy-why-don’t-you-love-me kind of decent).

The fact that you’re making the first move, trying to be funny and basically putting in the work will already get you in their good graces.

She’s yours for the taking…

But some women are a little feisty and have more bite than bark.  And fewer still are full-blown bitchy.

Like I said, it doesn’t matter. In cases like those, your basic strategy is to keep your dignity and NEVER let her see you bleed – regardless of the outcome.

Attachment to outcome is what does a man in. The less you care about it, the more liberated you’ll be.  But it takes experience to get to that higher state of mind, so you better buckle up and rack up those miles.

Trust me – it’s a fun ride if you embrace the chaos.

Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, thanks a bunch Carlos, you’ve cured me. All I have to do is tell myself not to be a wuss, and I’ll have the confidence of a Black Ops Marine.”

Chill, man. I got you covered.

Here are some tips to help you survive a particularly unpleasant encounter:

• – Don’t ever try to defend or justify yourself to her. This is a close cousin to not apologizing unnecessarily, and the point is not allowing her nasty words to have leverage over you.
• – When she says, “Nice Star Wars” shirt, I bet all the girls are begging you take them home,” don’t act all hurt and try to “correct” her. You LOSE if you snap back with, “Excuse me, Star Wars happens to be one of the greatest sci-fi stories of all time and anyone who’s cultured will have some appreciation of it.”  
• – Stay in the game. It’s all about returning her serve, so lob that zinger right back and put the ball in her court. The best way to handle that Star Wars remark is by taking it to a ridiculous level: “Yeah, I’m the galaxy’s biggest stud, no doubt.”
• – Turn the tables on her by taking it further. Now, she might try to keep you on your toes with another condescending quip like, “Sorry, I don’t find sci-fi geeks attractive at all”, so you just recalibrate that reality with a statement of your own. “Well, don’t diss it ‘til you’ve tried it. Besides, millions of Big Bang Theory fans don’t have a problem with sexy geeks.”
• – She might take a jab at your appearance like your thinning hairline or bulging mid-section, to which you say respectively, “Yeah, balding is awesome – who needs all that wind resistance anyway?” and “What’s wrong with having more of me to love?”
• – Stay the course. Once you’ve gone down this path, don’t back down now. Keep up the verbal wordplay even if she ends up leaving. Finish the game strong and let it be a character-building moment.

Speaking of which…

Lose Graciously

So maybe it’s really not working out and she simply refuses to be won over.  It’s no big deal. No one will fault you for employing a dignified exit strategy.

You can lick your wounds when you get home. In the meantime, just finish things off with “Thanks for your time anyway, it was nice talking to you” and remove yourself from the situation.

Unloading your frustration on her will make a less-than-ideal scenario into a legitimately BAD one.

It helps to think of it this way:

Your goal isn’t to find The One Girl Destined For You.

You’re just here for the ride, so enjoy it.  If you do get a serious relationship out of it, that’s not worth thinking about until MUCH later on.

You can play coy, my dear…

Your immediate priority is getting your inner game sorted out and not being a doormat to women. 

And that takes us to the last part…

Rock-Solid Confidence Is a MUST

Obviously, I can’t hope to cover this entire topic right here and now. But this is important stuff because having a spine means believing in yourself.

If you felt you were lacking or defective in some way, this is 100% going to mess with your game.  You can “fake it til you make it” all you want, but the “making it” part is about developing good old-fashioned self-confidence.

That doesn’t mean though you have to hold off on interacting with women while you work on this part of yourself.

Yeah, that’s one thumbs up buddy

You can still build up that in-field experience while learning about the basics of being more confident.

Here are some basics to help you get started:

• – Think about the positives. Make a simple list of the stuff you’re naturally good at, and any interests and hobbies that make you, YOU. Also include stuff you’ve done in the past that a made a difference or impacted people positively. Having pride in who you are is a good start and a basic building block of confidence.
• – Deal with your hang–ups. I’m not trying to be your shrink or anything, but I want you to think about experiences growing up that might have shaped that narrative you have about yourself. People like your family, friends, classmates, ex-partners (like in Brad’s case) have an effect on your confidence and it’s important to acknowledge this.
• – Put an action plan down in writing. Maybe there’s a particular area in your life you’re not feeling great about, so come up with a list actionable items to help you work on it.Whether it’s being better at sports, playing music or being the world’s best hotdog eater, create a path to follow with milestones along the way (kidding about the last one of course). The more you check off these items off the list, the greater your confidence will grow.
• – Don’t be a slob. It’s sad to see a lot of guys not feeling 100% about themselves because of something they could totally prevent. You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but there’s no excuse for being out of shape and poor hygiene. That, and eating healthy (or at least trying to) are totally under your control.
• – Handle the Essentials. Even the basics like taking a shower, smelling good, brushing your teeth and having a sense of style will give you serious boost before you leave your place. Confidence is NOT worrying about these things when you’re dealing with other people – women included.
• – Get your Z’s. And while we’re on the topic of health, get your sleep life in order – your waking hours depend on it. Look up how to keep your circadian rhythm in harmony. The better you rest, the more stuff you get done in the day!

Hey, I know all of this is a lot to take in, but trust me that this will put you on the right path to unleashing the Awesome Alpha Dude in you.

When you cultivate a solid personality that comes from a place of fearless authenticity, women will sense that and respect you.

This could be your lap, man

Now, I also happen to have a FREE CD that will help you along your journey. It’s a great guide that takes everything we’ve just talked about now, and ACCELERATE your progress like crazy!

It’s my gift to you that’ll help you create an unshakable masculine core that will have women fighting over you.

Forget about grovelling to win their approval – this will flip the script by blasting away any trace of insecurity in your system!

Check it out NOW – CLICK HERE

The post How to Attract Women (by Growing Your Spine) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

The post Don’t speak Womanese? You need this… appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I’ve been working on cracking the code of women and what they say.

So how do you know if a girl really likes you, or just wants to be friends?

Does she want to date you? Will she be attracted to you?

I’ll give you a common pattern that guys experience:

– Guy talks to a girl, maybe gets her phone number

He thinks it’s ON!

– Guy calls girl, sets a date

– If he gets the date, she flakes or backs out

– Or if she goes on the date, he pays for a meal or some kind of event, and she just gives you a kiss on the cheek at the end…

And you’ll probably never hear from her again – no text, no call.

You might wonder if you did something wrong, or if she was just a gold digging tramp who wanted a free meal…

Or if she just said yes to be nice and polite – but wound up wasting your time.

The truth is that you can save your time and energy – and emotions – if you just pick up the signals she gives off when she likes you.

If you knew this up front, you could know right away if she’s really interested in you or if she only wants to be friends.

Let’s open her skull and take a look inside the female mind.

Here are the most common signs a girl likes you:

Signal 1: First of all, is she flirting with you – or is she just being nice?

There’s only two kinds of flirting a woman does:

Flirt type 1: Polite

Yeah this is where she appears to like you, but then when you start to make it real, she backs away faster than a hit and run on “Cops.”

You talk to her and have a great time, lots of smiles and eye contact. Then you try to set up a date and she gets all weird.

Suddenly she has a dozen appointments to color or cut her hair…

Whatever.

This isn’t the flirt you’re looking for, young Skywalker.

She’s just trying to get attention and get you to express interest so she can prove she’s still got the ability to make men desire her. (This is the primary sexual power women crave most.)

You want this type of flirting:

Flirt type 2: The Real Deal

When a girl is flirting with you for real, she will do a few things differently.

First of all, she’ll find a way to touch you. You’re watching for her to put a hand on your arm or playfully smack you.

This is an involuntary action every girl makes when she really wants to take her flirting to a new level. She basically wants you to know her interest in you is real.

Now… the next signal a girl really likes you is…

Signal 2: She gets closer and uses her body more seductively

Girls know that the first thing they need to do to get a guy they want is to swoop in and stake that claim.

The way she does it is with proximity and body language.

She’ll get closer to you, usually within about 18 inches or so. And she’ll make it a point that other people sense that she’s laying that claim.

She’ll also use more seductive physical signs, like playing with her hair, laughing excessively at your jokes, etc. You’ll also get a ton more eye contact from her.

By the way – the younger the girl, the more she’ll do these things, and the more obvious she will be.

Signal 3: She will work to make the conversation work

Ever have one of those conversations with a woman that feels like you’re trying to extract information from a cold-war Soviet spy?

She barely shrugs or contributes, and you feel like you’re carrying the whole conversation.

That’s a sure fire signal that she’s not that interested. Especially if she isn’t even trying to be polite about it, which I consider to be one of the most heinous and rude things women do to guys.

Especially if you consider how hard we work up our courage just to talk to a woman.

But if a woman likes you, she’s going to put in her share of the effort. You’ll find that the conversation just flows along.

This is because instead of trying to get her to open up – which is like squeezing blood from a stone when she’s resisting you, it’s more like falling down a hill.

The subjects come easily…

She contributes her own stuff into the conversation…

The same thing applies to texting. If she consistently sends you one-word texts, she’s just not that into you.

And here’s a HUGE one –

While you’re talking to her, she should occasionally interrupt you to throw her own insights into the conversation.

You see women who aren’t into talking to you will simply not want to add anything. Her energy will be on “stand by.”

But if she’s really into it, she will be eager to put her own thoughts out there. This one is a big signal that she probably likes you.

And that leads us to the next hint that she’s interested in you:

Signal 4: She shares genuinely personal information…

Women try to maintain an edge of impersonal conversation when they’re not that into you. She will talk about everyday stuff like where she’s from, what she does for work or school, etc.

But if you want to get her feeling attraction for you – one of the most important things you must do is get her to share information that is personal. Stuff that has emotion in it.

For example, if you’re talking about your day, you want to use the conversation as a kind of trail that you’re creating. She’s walking on this trail, so you have the power to lead her where you want to go.

You could mention that you got a call from your dad, who you haven’t heard from in a while. You might mention that you and your dad used to be pretty close, but you’ve grown apart.

This allows you to ask her about her family. See if she opens up about her relationship a little.

Maybe offers up something personal about her relationship with mom or dad.

If all she does is sympathize, or just glosses over it, she’s telling you that she’s not into any deep conversation.

(By the way, if you find that she resists giving up anything personal to you, you need to use my conversation strategies to open her up and get her attracted. Click here to check it out.)

Signal 5: She doesn’t hesitate to agree to a date when the chance comes up.

That’s right – if she’s really interested in you and attracted to you, she will jump at the chance to go out with you. Anything else is game playing.

I’ve encountered a line of thinking that I want to share with you. Mostly because it’s something I’ve seen when coaching women, too.

What happens is this:

– Boy meets girl…

– Girl seems interested

– Boy gets girl’s number

– Boy calls girl later, or texts her

– Boy gets a lame (or no) response

– Boy keeps trying, thinking that she must still want to get together… After all, they hit it off so well

– Girl keeps being halfheartedly interested, wastes boy’s time

– Boy gets disgusted and pissed that women are so back-and-forth

The principle you need to remember is: “Her actions always tell the story.”

Which means that she will always tell you exactly how she feels by how she behaves.

We all do this.

You see, if a girl likes you – she’s going to act on that feeling. She doesn’t have some kind of imaginary willpower to play hard to get by being a bitch.

Women have lower self-image when compared to men, and if they like you – they’re going to make it happen.

Think about yourself. The last time you liked a girl, did you play a bunch of “push her away and act disinterested” games?

No, you went after her!

And that’s why you must always treat her as if her actions are the exact projection of her inner state.

We always act in accordance with what we’re thinking.

So if she isn’t getting back to you – it could be circumstance. But if she’s replying with less than an equal amount of enthusiasm, you need to keep moving on.

The girl that likes you will not hide it. She’ll go along with your plans for a date.

It’s important NOT to ignore these signals I just gave you because they’ll clue you in on what’s really going on in that pretty head of hers. Once you know what’s what, you’ll figure out much sooner if you should push forward or start over with another girl.

But what if you could turn a girl on with nothing more than small talk?

What if you could make her feel attracted to you simply by knowing how to guide a conversation in the right direction?

Imagine being able to do this even though she’s giving you ALL the signals of disinterest – wouldn’t that be something?

Remember when I told you that I was working on decoding what women say? Well, my new course on how to talk to women explains the meaning behind her cryptic statements that throw you for a loop.

The thing is, women are always testing you (in three ways, to be exact) and you need to know how to deal with this before even approaching them.

If you want to learn how to power through a woman’s tests and attract her by the time the conversation’s over, you’ll want to click HERE to get started TODAY.

The post How To Tell If A Girl Likes You – 5 Hidden Signals appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Hey, I’m sure that a lot of guys think of tricks as manipulative and slightly deceptive. But they’re not if they start a conversation you might not have had before.

Or get you talking to a woman you might not have had the courage to approach.

A trick is a trick only when it works at the expense of someone. And nothing I’m about to reveal to you will hurt anyone.

Quite the contrary – it’s a win-win for both you and her.

These are all meant to be simple, no-cost methods of standing out to women.

Impress her – Trick 1: Get her attention.

If you don’t have her attention before you walk up to her to talk, you’re going to have to rely on a wickedly good first impression to grab her interest.

And I hate to break it to you, even the best looking guys make cruddy first impressions.

Here’s a little trick I learned that does wonders for making your initial conversation powerfully compelling:

– Make a big entrance

I don’t mean walk into a party or a bar and yell, “BOO-ya!” at the top of your lungs.

But you want to walk in with a smile, confident body language, and as many people as you can.

This will create a magnetic focus of attention on you as you come in. It’s always a good idea.

My friend Will used to walk into everywhere he went and point his finger at nowhere in particular, nodding and smiling. Like he’d just been spotted by a friend.

And there was no one there he knew. It was his own personal way of making himself feel wanted and welcome everywhere he went.

Delusional?

Nope. Will got women EVERYWHERE he went.

If that’s delusional, I’ll be a complete lunatic…

Impress that girl trick 2: Give her the triple-play treatment

This is a combo that I use when I talk to women that works like crazy to get women to feel attraction and desire.

First part of the Triple Play: Listen intently to what she says.

Most women are used to guys coming over and talking her ear off, bragging about this and that to make her impressed with how massively cool he is.

Truth be told, this always works in the opposite direction. It makes women run away.

When you come over and ask a good soul-searching question (spoiler alert: I’ll show you one in a second) – and then after it you just shut up and pay attention to her answer, you’ll be shocked at the level of interest you’ll get from her.

Second part of the Triple-Play: Make evaluative eye-contact.

Look at her like you’re figuring her out. Evaluating her as a possible addition to your life.

Go ahead…try it.

I’m not suggesting you act rude here, not at all. but you should always be evaluating her in terms of her value in your life.

Most guys are not out there just trying to find someone to sleep with, contrary to what the media would have you believe. Sure, it’s one of the things on your to-do list with a girl, and it sure is a motivating factor.

But the truth is that men are looking more often to find a cool chick they can make into their girlfriend. And that they can have wild monkey love with too.

But when you focus solely on the sex part of the equation, you’re going to miss things about her that you need to see early on.

So keep your eyes open and really take a good close look at her – before lust blinds you.

Here’s a little dose of reality for you: Most men don’t evaluate women strongly enough.

Most women are not a good match for you. And if you let her into your life by default – just because she puts out for you – you could wind up in a really bad relationship.

Evaluate her with a keen eye for what works for you…

And the third part of the Triple Play is this: Slow, open body language.

If you watch the body language of most guys, you’ll see a lot of things that broadcast low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

He’s got his hands either shoved into his pockets, or arms are crossed in a guarded posture. He’s rocking on his feet, or nervously looking around like a bird that needs food.

Slow your gestures down.

Slow your scanning eye movements.

Let the world come to you – because that’s what confident men of the world do.

I’ll spare you the “watch James Bond movies” advice…

HOWEVER – he’s the best of the best to model when it comes to cool, confident body language. Ignore him at your own risk…

(And if you need a little work on this part of your game, you can tighten it up real fast with my free CD called Badass Body Language)

Impress that girl trick 3: Ask her a question that makes her sit up and take notice.

I’ve been coaching guys for years on my Power Question technique. It’s a guaranteed way to impress any woman, and stand out in her mind.

The basics are this:

– You ask one simple question that makes her realize you’re not like “all the other guys.”

I’ve got a bunch of these, but I’ll share one of my best with you here:

“Hey if money weren’t a consideration, where would you be and what would you be doing right now? Besides having a delightful conversation with me, of course.”

This line is a beauty. It makes her think a little – and it also establishes that you are confident in the conversation you’ve started.

And really listen to her answer, because it will tell you if she’s a small thinker or a BIG thinker that deserves a shot at being with you.

The more advanced stuff I teach guys in my talk to women programs… but that’s more than enough to get you into a delicious conversation with almost any woman.

Impress that girl trick 4: Be polite and chivalrous – no matter what.

A gentleman does certain things for a woman that says you’re a man of class and prestige. Again, James Bond is impeccable for this.

Even if the woman he’s with is a total drag, he always finds a way to show his chivalrous side.

Here is a simple short list of things that men do that impress women:

– Help her with her coat – whether it’s putting it on or taking it off.

– Pull her chair out for her when she sits down. Just don’t make her fall on her butt…

– Open the door for her – or other women…

– Do any or all of these things for her friends as well…

You’d be AMAZED at how many men don’t have a CLUE about the art of Chivalry, and how it’s one of the easiest ways to impress a woman.

Extra points to you if you can make your chivalrous gesture a part of your introduction. Holding the door for a woman, or letting her go first is a great way to start a conversation.

Impress that girl trick 5: Be indestructible and unshakeable.

I do a lot of coaching and advising. I’ve done it for years, and it’s something I really enjoy about my work.

That being said, I’ll tell you that most guys are … well, they’re pretty wimpy.

Seriously, most guys would lose their cool if the car they were in got a flat, or if the restaurant he was taking to her turned out to be closed. Or if anything out of the ordinary happened to him.

No one likes inconveniences, I get it. But you have to be made of stronger stuff.

You need to have an air of steadfast durability about you. Like nothing can shake you up. No one can rattle your cage.

You’re a ROCK.

Women can pick up on this vibe about you – and it oozes out your pores. It’s also the SECRET to success in life at a level that most guys only play and dream about.

You must be unbreakable.

You’re smart enough and strong enough to deal with anything.

When she thinks this about you, you are literally unstoppable with women. They will beg, borrow and steal just to walk through your shadow.

Play life like the game is ON.

Now this attitude also includes something that most guys don’t quite understand. Let me explain it with one sentence:

Do what you say you’re going to do – when you’re going to do it.

Period.

This is what I call the Word Of The Man. It’s a statement of your integrity, and your confidence on many levels.

One of the disturbing trends I see today is that no one really takes anything very seriously when it comes to making plans with other people.

Everyone plays it like nothing is written in stone, and you should always be on the lookout for a better offer at all times.

Which leads so many people to come across as fake and insincere.

Early on, I made a decision that there was something I wouldn’t sacrifice when I started dating: I wouldn’t give up either my dignity, or my character just to get laid.

It’s worked out really well, let me tell you. I’ve had women who initially blew me off come crawling back and literally beg for a second date.

I turned them down for the same reason I turned her down in the first place – even if I probably could have gotten her into bed.

In fact, I’ll wager that I could have had twice as many overnight girlfriends as I did if I’d just put aside my own strict code. But in the end, I’m glad I didn’t make that bargain with the Devil.

You get to make one choice in your life that will determine the height of your success and the altitude of your attitude: What will your character be?

If you can ask that question of yourself, and then answer it, you’ll see why mere pickup tricks cannot stand up to the incredible power of being the Alpha Man.

If you’d like to discover the secret behind this level of confidence and power with women, I have something that will change the game for you – for life.

And for the better…

Go take a look NOW – click here

Finally, date out of your league…

The post 5 Easy Tricks For How To Impress A Girl appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Dating might seem like a random, luck-of-the-draw kind of deal, but in reality the success of your evening largely depends on the stuff you say (and mostly DON’T say) to her.

Never underestimate the impact of a good (or bad) conversation during a date. Guys who often say the wrong thing (or the right thing at the wrong time) aren’t aware that women have both Attraction Switches and Dealbreaker Triggers in their heads.

The good news is that it’s not rocket science at all. We’ve broken down the communication do’s and don’ts during a date, so here’s a rundown of what to expect:

Full Disclosure: Topics That Can Wait for MUCH Later

Ok, so one of the biggest blunders is giving a girl too much information on the first date. It’s kind of disturbing how many guys actually think that diving into stuff that’s too personal or intense will somehow create instant chemistry. Or, if the chemistry is there, that’s an invitation to bare your soul.

And that brings us to the first rule: anything you tell a girl will be amplified tenfold – whether it’s good or bad.

She doesn’t know you that well yet, so part of her brain will be dissecting your every word – and later on with her girlfriends. She’s going to use whatever information she has to classify you as Just a Friend or Potential Somebody.

That’s why your chances hinge on saving certain topics for until you’ve gotten to know each other better.

For instance, most girls probably aren’t ready to hear stories about your crazy family or rough childhood. Don’t work through your issues with her. Women want emotionally mature men, so airing out your dirty laundry looks childish and a bit unstable.

Other hot-zone topics include raising a family, anything political or religious, and depressing topics like death and violence.

Most people going into a date are already aware that everyone has personal stuff to sort out. But by keeping that off the table for now and leaving a little room for mystery, it changes the whole dynamic.

When you hold back a bit, she’ll want to pick your brain later down the road and think to herself, “I wanna know what makes this guy tick.”

Topics That Generate Interest

If you have time to do a little Google-Fu, look up your date and find out what she likes.

If you got her Instagram or Twitter handle when you first exchanged contact info, there’s no harm in gathering some “intel” about her hobbies, favorite shows and other stuff you can work into the conversation (that should be the extent of it – cyberstalk at your own risk).

Of course, don’t give it away by telling her you looked her up; save the heartfelt confession when she’s already falling for you to seal the deal.

For now, just casually get into the topics that you know will interest her. This one’s pretty basic, but some men don’t appreciate the value of actively creating middle ground.

If there’s no chance for you to do a little social media research, there’s another way to plant those seeds of attraction.

Think beforehand of the stuff you’re really into and be a sort of expert on the matter. It doesn’t matter if she isn’t necessarily into the same stuff as you are. What does matter is that you know what you’re talking about to some degree and find a way to make the subject interesting.

Usually, approaching from a “Did you know” angle provides information in a compelling way (e.g. “Did you know Dr. Seuss used to wear hundreds of hats to help him with writers block?”).

Article continues – CLICK HERE for next page

The post Say All the Right Things On Your Next Date appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Hey, I’ve just got a quick note for you today on a subject that a lot of guys are curious about: how to talk to women.

There’s a lot of cool information I teach you, from routines to openers, conversation bridges, all kinds of great stuff to inject into your interactions with women.

But in almost every single one-on-one coaching (and in hundreds of emails I get every day), one concern stands out more than any other.

It’s usually this: “How do I do this stuff when I’m in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women.”

This is what I call the “Real-Time” problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you’re in Real-Time, it’s tough to be “on” and creative, isn’t it?

I don’t know if you’ve ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I’d do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.

I’d finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman.

— “Hey, my name is Carlos…”

And after I got the conversation started – WHAM.

I’d get nervous when I couldn’t remember any of the stuff I’d memorized.

— Do I say that thing about “who lies more”? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day…? Uhm… Ahhhggg… Errr…. Damn!

I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it.

And I’d stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.

(Insert uncomfortable pause here…)

You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you’re sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.

Finally she says, “Uh, I gotta get back to my friends…”

And then, as she’s walking away, and you’re kicking yourself…

You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said.

AAAAAAAHHHHH! Too late.

Ever had that happen to you?

Well, let’s conquer this problem once and for all.

ENTER THE “SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL…”

Here’s a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women.

NOTE: I’m not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else’s words! Don’t be a copy cat.

You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don’t need to make stuff up or use someone else’s words to be interesting to women.

You see, I found out that just sitting at home on my couch reading this stuff on my computer wasn’t enough. I had to practice some of the things out loud.

But even that was not enough, so I tried something a little different and off the wall.

And it worked like a champ!

Here’s my technique for being prepared and NOT losing it in front of a woman…

I’m assuming that you’ve walked up and said “Hi” or some other opener to get the conversation started. I’ve taught you plenty of methods in these newsletters, and you can find more in my Approach Women NOW program.

And, as you know, it’s not what you open with that’s important, but what you say NEXT that will make the difference.

How To Talk To Women, Without Saying Too Much…

How do you keep it going with all the stuff you want to talk about?

Here’s what you do first…

How to talk to women – STEP 1: CREATE YOUR OWN BRIDGE

A conversational bridge is a way of bringing up a topic that you want to steer the conversation towards.

Let’s say you know you want to talk about your passions and interests with a woman, and you’ve thought of a great way to bring it up and talk about it. And, let’s say your passion is photography.

You have a couple ways you could bring it up in conversation, like:

“You know, I was just thinking as I’m looking at you that you would make a fantastic subject for photography. Have you ever thought about doing a sitting?”

(Note that I did NOT use any corny lines about “you should be a model.”)

You could also bring it up without focusing on her by saying:

“I was out scouting locations for some photos today. The light here is really fantastic for bringing out skin tones and eye color. Isn’t it great?”

(I don’t have time to cover it here, but showing this kind of “vision” of the world is VERY at-tractive to women.)

Okay, so now we’ve got a couple ways to bring up our interests in conversation, without bragging AND at the same time communicating to a woman that you’ve got a hobby in your life that brings out your passion.

Maybe you’ve got some great questions to ask, and things to say that you think of when you’re at home, but now you need to have it ready all the time, like a loaded gun.

You want to be able to come up with this when you’re out and about, but you find yourself constantly forgetting it when the pressure is on.

Here’s your next step…

How to talk to women – STEP 2: ENGAGE YOUR MODALITIES

Modalities are simply your senses. Sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch.

The more of your senses you use, the quicker things are embedded in your mind.

So you want to spend some time before you go out writing these words down, whether it’s the questions you want to ask, or just a list of topics you want to bring up in conversation.

This will engage your “kinesthetic” modality.

Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your “auditory” modality.

And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your “visual” modality.

But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it’s something that not many guys know about.

I’ve got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.

You need to…

How to talk to women – STEP 3: ENGAGE “SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL” TECHNIQUE

Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.

I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever.

Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.

Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don’t realize is that you weren’t learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper.

You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was.

So when you get a fact or information that you can’t see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which is why it’s so easy to forget names. We’re not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there’s nothing to anchor it in our heads.)

That’s right, it wasn’t the information you were learning as much as giving your brain a LOCATION for that information. It’s called “spatial relationship,” and it’s how your mind stores information.

It’s more important to give a RELATIONSHIP to the information to make it stick.

More Stuff You Need To Know About Talking To Women…

Right now, if you close your eyes, chances are you can recall where almost everything is in your bedroom, or another room in your apartment that you are very familiar with.

Here’s how you use “Situational Rehearsal” technique. It’s based on the way your brain really learns.

And you’ll get at least 10 times better retention and recall of information if you use it…

In my previous example, you came up with a great way to talk about photography, your passion. And you came up with a great way to actually SAY it to a woman. You may even have some of my “Power Questions” that you want to memorize to use.

Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations.

You would want to do stuff like:

– Recall and recite the words when you’re in the shower.

– Call your home voicemail and recite it back as a message.

This one is great. It will put you “on the spot” – AND it will give you a chance to review how you said it later. You can do this with your cell phone voicemail, too.

– Recall and recite when you’re driving in the car.

– Recall the words when you’re watching a television show, as if you’re saying it to the people on the screen.

– Recall and recite when you’re out on a city street. (Just whisper it so that people don’t think you’re crazy.)

But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here’s a KILLER bonus technique:

– Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you’re talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you’re memorizing when you’re out in public on a city street or in a store.

Don’t worry, other people will just assume you’re talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people.

AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.

(I used to do this all the time, and make up some pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen in. “He hit the cop with a baseball bat??? No WAY!” Try it sometime… it’s better than prank phone calling.)

The point of this is that you must get out there and put yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information you’re trying to memorize.

The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you’ll be when it counts – in front of a woman.

By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain, which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you pull out the words when you really need to, and you won’t have any of those embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.

I’ll be back again soon with more tips and techniques for you…

Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

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