Say All the Right Things On Your Next Date
It’s funny, after managing to meet a girl, get her number and ask her out, some guys tend to freak out over what do next. A wave of panic washes over them, thinking that so much could go wrong. And the funny thing is that there’s really no reason to panic.
Dating might seem like a random, luck-of-the-draw kind of deal, but in reality the success of your evening largely depends on the stuff you say (and mostly DON’T say) to her.
Never underestimate the impact of a good (or bad) conversation during a date. Guys who often say the wrong thing (or the right thing at the wrong time) aren’t aware that women have both Attraction Switches and Dealbreaker Triggers in their heads.
The good news is that it’s not rocket science at all. We’ve broken down the communication do’s and don’ts during a date, so here’s a rundown of what to expect:
Full Disclosure: Topics That Can Wait for MUCH Later
Ok, so one of the biggest blunders is giving a girl too much information on the first date. It’s kind of disturbing how many guys actually think that diving into stuff that’s too personal or intense will somehow create instant chemistry. Or, if the chemistry is there, that’s an invitation to bare your soul.
And that brings us to the first rule: anything you tell a girl will be amplified tenfold – whether it’s good or bad.
She doesn’t know you that well yet, so part of her brain will be dissecting your every word – and later on with her girlfriends. She’s going to use whatever information she has to classify you as Just a Friend or Potential Somebody.
That’s why your chances hinge on saving certain topics for until you’ve gotten to know each other better.
For instance, most girls probably aren’t ready to hear stories about your crazy family or rough childhood. Don’t work through your issues with her. Women want emotionally mature men, so airing out your dirty laundry looks childish and a bit unstable.
Other hot-zone topics include raising a family, anything political or religious, and depressing topics like death and violence.
Most people going into a date are already aware that everyone has personal stuff to sort out. But by keeping that off the table for now and leaving a little room for mystery, it changes the whole dynamic.
When you hold back a bit, she’ll want to pick your brain later down the road and think to herself, “I wanna know what makes this guy tick.”
Topics That Generate Interest
If you have time to do a little Google-Fu, look up your date and find out what she likes.
If you got her Instagram or Twitter handle when you first exchanged contact info, there’s no harm in gathering some “intel” about her hobbies, favorite shows and other stuff you can work into the conversation (that should be the extent of it – cyberstalk at your own risk).
Of course, don’t give it away by telling her you looked her up; save the heartfelt confession when she’s already falling for you to seal the deal.
For now, just casually get into the topics that you know will interest her. This one’s pretty basic, but some men don’t appreciate the value of actively creating middle ground.
If there’s no chance for you to do a little social media research, there’s another way to plant those seeds of attraction.
Think beforehand of the stuff you’re really into and be a sort of expert on the matter. It doesn’t matter if she isn’t necessarily into the same stuff as you are. What does matter is that you know what you’re talking about to some degree and find a way to make the subject interesting.
Usually, approaching from a “Did you know” angle provides information in a compelling way (e.g. “Did you know Dr. Seuss used to wear hundreds of hats to help him with writers block?”).