How To Pick Up A Female Bartender…

I recently wrote a newsletter about how to pick up a female bartender that I’d like to share with you, because picking up a female bartender is easy!

One of the diehard readers of the blog recently sent me an email asking me how to pick up a female bartender and I was like:

“You know what? There’s not much too it, but this isn’t the first email about how to pick up a female bartender. So, let’s write a blog post about it!” And you’re reading the result dude.

Question From A Reader About How To Pick Up A Female Bartender

“Hi D, whenever I go out I come across a LOT of hot women that are working there. You know, bartenders, waitresses..and although I don’t have any approach anxiety whatsoever, or FEAR rejection and just go and talk to them..I always FAIL! I want to know how to pick up a female bartender.

I ask them stuff like how long they’ve been working there, try to get to talking about the drinks they have (and what their favorite is) to get a conversation started. And although I sometimes end up talking to a waitress for half an hour or something, they almost always quickly lose interest in me and we just end up chatting with a “hey friend” kinda atmosphere around the whole interaction. What am I doing wrong? I don’t want to be the friend, I want to actually DATE these women!”

— Alexander, Memphis, USA

My Comments On How To Pick Up A Female Bartender

Whether you’re realizing it or not, you’re a “regular” guy, a run of the mill wussy that a woman could care less about. That is not how you pick up a female bartender dude.

Allow me to explain in a round-a-bout way..

What does every guy that actually owns a brain other then the little guy down there AND a bar or club do, when he wants to attract as much people to his joint as possible, and get them to come as often as he can?

Like it or not, but he gets himself a good looking staff.. so the place is as visually appealing as possible.

That’s why, more often that not, when you go to a GOOD bar or club..there are hot female bartenders or waitresses working, and walking around the place. Bartenders like her:

Today you'll see how to pick up a female bartender like this one

Most guys just order a drink, drewl as she gets it for him and then walk away wishing they could at least START a conversation with the hot bartender.

She’s standing there with her sexy outfit on, smile and looking like she has the best time of her life..which is more often than not, demanend by the company – company policy

And every guy IN there has his eyes deadlocked on her, while she’s bored as usual…


It’s because NO ONE realizes an important mindset that female bartenders have… and you NEED to know it if you want to know how to pick up a female bartender.

The vast majority of bartenders are envying everybody else who are having a great time with their friends, who are on the dance floor and who don’t have to work while she’s stuck there behind the friggin’ bar until 3 AM serving drinks.

But knowing this, gives you a clear, UNFAIR advantage over the competition..not that those jackasses have the guts to start a conversation with her, but still.

So how do you approach and get to talking? How to pick up a female bartender now you know this?

The KEY insight here is to engage her EMOTIONALLY rather than logically, forget the facts and boring, every day BS.

Attraction is a FEELING based on EMOTIONS, which makes attracting with women by talking about facts, logic and logical stuff an mission impossible..

And that’s even MORE so with bartenders, because EVERYBODY approaches her “logically”: “what’s your favorite drink?” or “can you get me this or that drink” or “hi how are you”..

Not gonna work..and the WORST things you could say to pick up a female bartender are:

“How’s your night?” or…

“How long have you been working here”

These are FATAL mistakes that will PREVENT you from every being able to generate attraction..because she’ll pigeon hole you in the “average guy” category in a heartbeat. If you want to know how to pick up a female bartender then, whatever you do, DON’T do what I just mentioned!

So you want to be emotional and bring about her emotions when you talk to bartenders and to do this you need to at least say something other than your drink order, dummy.


Me personally, I love saying stuff like THIS to pick up a female bartender:

“Did you know I read this study on bartenders, and apparently if a girl is a bartender with blonde hair and tall then she’s extra conversational, loves chatting to cute guys, and sometimes she tells lies to men, tell me is that true? Because I think it is”

And off course I’ll change the comment about the hair color and the height to meet how she looks (so it’s brunette then she’s extra…and so on..)

Her: “Haha! No that’s not true”

Me: “Ehhh! (buzzing noise) Wrong! Because there you go: you’re lying already … so it IS true!”

Me: “You look as though you’re having a fun time. So what’s the most exciting, life changing event that’s happened tonight..besides talking to me”

That’s teasing her, busting her balls, and talking directly to her emotions so she’ll instantly feel attraction for you at a gut level..

And oh’s also funny as hell, and it shows confidence. Now THAT’S how to pick up a female bartender like her:

Learn how to pick up a female bartender like her with this technique

In doing this, you’re the ONE guy that really makes these girls nights, that saves their night and makes them have a little fun on a night that’s usually mindnumbing, and boring like NOTHING else.

You can bet your ass that they’ll remember you the next time you order and it gets you one step closer to your goal, which is to pick up a female bartender of course!

You also come across like you’re coming from a place where you’re out to have FUN, bust her chops, and generally create a fun atmosphere…

As opposed to the other 99% of the men out there who just STARE at the girls working the bar, wishing and hoping that by some miracle these girls will start a conversation with them.

Don’t be that guy..that creepy “is he a stalker?” guy that stares at women all night and makes them feel uncomfortable just because he WANTS to approach, but CAN’T.

That is NOT how to pick up a female bartender man. That’s not the way.

One More Thing About How To Pick Up A Female Bartender

Here’s a juicy secret: if the bar isn’t that busy and there’re stools at the bar where you can sit, then sit your but down and go on a playful teasing attraction spree where you tease the crap out of every girl behind the bar that you can find. It’s another one of my techniques for how to pick up a female bartender.
And if you got a pair, become a regular at these bars. That doesn’t mean the regular drunk (unless you’re DYING to be admitted tot the Alcoholics Anonymous association), but just a regular guest who’s seen there often..

And if you want more tips about how to pick up a female bartender, creating attraction and more, then I highly recommend you sign up for my dating newsletter below.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

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Carlos Xuma
- Win With Women