Improve Your Success With Women Today By Doing These 2 Things
This guest blog post was written by Nick Savoy, the dating guru behind Love Systems.
Whenever I’m meeting people, guys invariably ask me for the “secret” of dating beautiful women. I hate this — because what they want doesn’t exist. They want a magic bullet: the ‘secret’ to attracting any woman, any time.
It sounds silly when phrased like that, but if you look online for dating advice for men, the search for the “quick fix” is everywhere. Before Love Systems came along the quick-fix was the consensus – see, for example, the book The Mystery Method on how to get beautiful women into bed.
That’s how Magic Bullets Handbook – the standard “bible” of dating and seduction for men – got its title. It’s an ironic title, since there is no such ‘Magic Bullet’. There are thousands of things you can do to improve your success with women. You don’t even have to get them all right, or even most. Which things are important depends a lot on the individual woman.
Still, Love Systems instructors and clients have, combined, approached over 100,000 women around the world over the last 7 years. That is a LOT of data and you can see a lot of patterns. So while there are no foolproof “rules” to succeeding with women, there are plenty of things that we know to be GENERALLY true.
Here are a couple of the simplest things we’ve noticed to work the best:
Improve Your Success With Women Tip #1: Have a Go-To conversation starter
Have you ever seen a woman you wanted to meet, but lost your chance to approach her because you didn’t have “the right thing to say” to approach her with?
Don’t let that happen. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter what you say to start a conversation. (Your body language, tonality, and what you say NEXT matters a lot, but those are other issues). What matters is that you approach without hesitation.
Memorize a few things you can always say so you never have an excuse not to approach. If you’re confident, you can try:
“Excuse me. I saw you over there and I knew I’d be kicking myself all day if I didn’t come over to see what you were like. My name is XXX.”
If you’re shy, you can try something like:
“Hey, my friends over there and I are trying to decide on our friend’s surprise birthday party: 80s theme or jungle theme?”
There’s nothing special about either of those openers and there are millions more like them. What matters is that you always have one ready.
Improve Your Success With Women Tip #2: Attraction Before Comfort – ALWAYS!
Don’t start a conversation by fishing for commonalities (“Where are you from?” “What do you do?” etc.). Women aren’t attracted by facts, least of all facts about themselves. Women are attracted by emotion.
Show her that talking to you is fun, interesting, engaging, etc. and only AFTER you see signs that she is interested you do you get into “fact talk”.
To get yourself in the right mindset, imagine yourself waiting for the bus and every day 20 different guys come up to you and ask you where you’re going, how long you’ve been waiting, where you’re from, etc.
After a while, you’d stop answering.
But if one of them told you an interesting story, made you laugh, and seemed interesting, and then asked a few questions? Then you’re more likely to answer.
For women, men are not a scarce resource. Women get approached all the time. That’s why they’re not as nervous as you when you approach: they’ve been through this drill thousands more times than you.
Interested? Come read more in the Love Systems searchable dating advice archive.
Nick Savoy is the President of Love Systems, the largest and most reputable of ‘in-field’ dating advice services for men.