When it comes to talking to women, knowing WHAT to say is huge.

It’s probably the most common question I get from guys, in fact.

“What do I say to her?”

And it’s just as important to know how to talk to a girl in a way that gets her sexually interested in you.

Let’s start off with a few things you shouldn’t say to a girl:

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 1: Overly personal questions…

Some guys jump right into a rapid-fire interrogation of a woman when they meet her. It’s not meant to be scary or weird, just curious.

It’s not a job interview…

But if you ask her a bunch of questions about where she lives, where she works, where she likes to hang out, etc, it can freak a girl out.

Remember, women are always sensitive and aware of the threat of possible sexual assault, so you have to be sensitive to this when talking to her.

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 2: Complimenting her on her appearance…

There is a right way and a wrong way to bring up a woman’s appearance. Most guys use this hook as a way to flatter a woman, and it usually sounds douchey and lame.

You don’t want to launch into a speech about how hot she looks, or any kind of compliments about her body. That just feels way too weird up front.

Avoid compliments that aren’t insightful and thoughtful.

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 3: Bragging, or any kind of grandstanding…

Guys often feel like the most important thing to do when meeting a girl for the first time is to impress her.

This is usually the WORST thing you can do.

I get it, you want to stand out from the pack and look like a high-quality mating opportunity for her, but again it just looks douchey. Kinda like those mating dances that animals do to impress each other.

Don’t be THIS guy.

When a guy tries to impress a woman up front, he’s saying: “Hey, you’re the prize and I’m just a schmuck trying to win you over. I have inferior value, so I need to try hard to get your approval.”

The high value man doesn’t play this game. He knows that he wants HER to start trying to impress him as soon as possible in the conversation.

Don’t give your power away with this kind of needy behavior.

Okay, so what SHOULD you say to a girl?

Let’s cover a few of them:

What To Say To A Girl 1: “You caught my eye…”

Actually, you want to say this subtly, but you should give her a reason for your approaching her. Every woman knows WHY you’re talking to her – you want to bang her. It’s simple sexual science.

But she also wants to hear it in a way that tells her you’re confident and you’re going after what you want. That alone is flattering to her.

DOn’t let a good opportunity pass you by.

So just tell her something like:

“Hey, I saw you and thought you had a real nice energy about you. I knew I’d kick myself later if I didn’t say hi. My name’s ________”

That’s a sure-fire opener that will get you into a conversation with just about any girl.

Just say it with a level of seriousness. I see a lot of guys that approach and talk to women with a tone that is goofy and awkward – and they’re doing it on purpose! Usually to avoid being vulnerable in the event they’re rejected.

The beauty of this opener is that she can’t reject you. You just started a conversation based on curiosity. That’s it.

What To Say To A Girl 2: “I’m impressed…”

Letting a woman know you’re impressed with her is a subtle way of implying that she is working to get your approval. It’s a great way of flipping the tables on her so that she doesn’t think you’re just some guy trying to kiss her butt to get into her bed.

During the course of the conversation, if she says something you find interesting – or approval worthy – just say: “Huh. I’m impressed…”

She’ll feel acknowledged, and she’ll instantly feel a little pull towards you that she can’t explain.

What To Say To A Girl 3: “You look like trouble…”

This one goes way back to the old “pickup artist” days…

Basically you tell her how you see her as being a “bad girl.” Women like this mostly because they’ve been framed by society as these pure, snow-white angels of virtue. Girls can do no wrong, we’re told over and over again.

NOT!

Nothing sexier than a woman who can handle her own…

And not only is this false, she’s also dying to find a guy that knows it and is savvy enough to bring it out in the light. To talk about it.

Just tell her:

“You look like trouble. Are you planning a bank heist … like ‘Ocean’s 8’ or something?”

You’re not trying to brag your way into her world – you’re showing her that you’re seeing HER. This is a major turn-on for women.

They are obsessed with being able to cast a spell over the male mind… being so irresistible that you will crawl through miles of broken glass just to cry in her shadow.

What To Say To A Girl 4: “Maybe I was wrong about you…”

Another way to covertly flatter a woman (while positioning yourself as a high-value Alpha man) is to tell her you’re changing your mind about her.

Now, she might not have had the first care about what you think of her – at first. But once you tell her that you’re starting to warm up to her:

• She feels a jolt of approval…
• She wonders, “Wait… he didn’t like me before? WHY?”

It’s a little mind-trick, but it’s something that positions you much better in her mind than just blanketly approving of her. Most “nice guys” make this mistake of approving all over her – gushing their desire on her like a bad porn movie.

Drop that attitude now, because it’s the one thing that has kept you stuck in the friend zone with most of the women you meet.

You want to imply that you’re just starting to warm up to her, and it’s surprising. Get her to understand how she needs to step up and work for YOUR approval.

What To Say To A Girl 5: “No way…”

Again, most guys spend far too much time agreeing with women.

Another way to spark some attraction is to pull back a bit in disbelief. You can do this with slight sarcasm, or just a hint of “yeah… rrrrright.”

As your conversation progresses, and you start to warm up to each other, find a ripe moment where you can just not believe something she says.

Pique her interest with a good challenge…

Maybe she says she’s on her way to meet her mom for lunch…

“Yeah, right… I bet you use that on all the guys you’re trying to escape.”

Maybe she says she’s going to pick up her car from the shop…

“No way. You’re definitely a ‘lease the Lexus’ kind of girl. I’m not buying it.”

It’s playful and fun, with a hint of teasing.

What To Say To A Girl 6: “You like me…”

Again, in the vein of ‘things to say that reverse the roles…’

What you want to do is imply that she likes you, in a funny, non-douchey way.

• She says: “Oh, I don’t like that coffee” (or anything where she disagrees with you.)
• YOU say: “You’re starting to like me, huh?” (Smirk)

It’s your turn to play ‘hard to get’…

The humor should be there, of course. And it’s something that will get a laugh from her as well.

It’s also a way of breaking out of the usual routine of complimenting and kissing her ass all the time.

Just imply with an oblivious tone that she’s falling in like with you.

What To Say To A Girl 7: “That’s it, we’re done…”

You have to realize that 99% of all guys say the exact same things to a woman.

Usually involving him pretending to want to be a friend so he can, maybe, sneak into being her boyfriend in some magical fantasy he’s concocted in his head.

The pretending to be a friend is, of course, just another way to avoid the risk of being rejected. And in so doing ensures that he only winds up as her friend.

You have to know the kind of fun, challenging things to tell her that will spark her interest.

Who can resist cute, little furry animals?

One of the best is to pretend that you’re both already dating, and now it’s over.

“Yeah, I’m thinking we need to breakup. I’ll take the cats, you take the microwave. Deal?”

For one, woman hate the “breakup zone” so she’ll instantly be triggered to WANT to connect with you by framing it like this.

For another, it demonstrates that you can push back and disapprove of her – heck, even present yourself as a guy who can break it off with a woman. Jokingly.

There’s a lot going on with this one, and it is all good.

Plus, it’s funny.

And even more important, you need to know how to talk to women – and not have to memorize any lines…

Women are turned on by words, in fact.

But when you’re in the moment, face-to-face with a girl, you know you’re probably going to forget everything, right?

It’s like getting on stage for a play and forgetting your lines…

And that’s what usually stops guys from ever talking to a woman in the first place.

I’ve got the perfect solution for you –

I want to show you how to unleash a woman’s erotic desire for you – with only words.

Go watch my free presentation on how to have Fearless Conversation With Any Woman

The post What To Say To A Woman – 7 Phrases That Make Women Hot For You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

This week, I’ve got you something from the mailbag…

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Carlos, I’ve been going out on a ton of dates lately, but I’ve run up against some obstacles.

I get into conversations with women, but I can’t seem to break into the “attraction zone” with many of the women. They all seem to keep me on this friendship level, and I don’t know what to do.

I want to get our conversations on a sexual level somehow…

What should I do?

• Pete W. – Manhattan, KS

______________________

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Pete, that’s a fantastic question that men everywhere want to know the answer to… in fact, it’s the key to kick-starting a woman’s attraction in that first conversation with her.

Will he be… “friend-zoned?

• The Text is what you’re saying to each other – the actual words you use.
• The Subtext is what you’re saying under your words, with your attitude and your way of being.

Inner Game = Outer Game

1) Tone of voice:  Lower your vocal pitch as low as you can go.

Find your “inner” Barry White…

2) Body posture & stance:  Slow everything down to half-speed…

3) Eye contact:  This is a huge one, because – as they say – the eyes are the windows to the soul.

The post How To Make A Conversation Sexual – 3 Tips appeared first on How To Win With Women.

One thing I’ve learned doing dating coaching over the last 16 years, and that’s this:

Most men (and women!) have almost NO CLUE about how attraction between the sexes really works.

Now, when I say NO CLUE – I mean that they THINK they understand it, and PRETEND to understand relationships, but honestly don’t. I think it’s mostly because they don’t want to seem like they’re ignorant to the other 98% of the population that is also pretending to know what they’re doing.

Most of the guys who pretend to know how to date a lot of girls will give you the same lame advice:

• “Dude, you gotta be confident…”
• “You gotta know how to talk to women…”
• “You gotta know how to dress…”
• “You gotta…”

Well, sad to say that half of these guys are usually “naturals” with women (meaning they intuitively have gotten women without knowing what the $#&% they are doing, or they’re good looking.)

The other half are guys that don’t really have ANY skill with women, but just happen to have a girlfriend at the moment. Which means they’re currently doing 100% better than you, and they think that entitles them to tell you “how the game works.”

My sales mentor from years ago once told me:

“Don’t ever take advice from someone who’s not doing what you want to be doing. Or has what you want.”

I’d add to that:

“Don’t take advice from lucky fools.”

They don’t know, but they’re pretend it was all skill, and then they’ll confuse and ruin you.

Instead, go to the guy who knows how it works – AND can explain it! That’s why you’re here, I’m assuming.

So if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why the hell can’t I get a girlfriend?” – I’m about to give you some earth-shaking revelations. Starting with:

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #1: You reek of desperation…

Now, before you dismiss this as not applying to you, let me remind you that NO ONE thinks they’re acting desperately. Unfortunately this is the delusion that is ultimately going to make them marry a woman WAY below they’re pay grade.

Desperation shows in many ways:

• Too eager
• Too “there”
• Too attentive

The sad fact is that many women can be snowed over with this behavior. Especially if she doesn’t get asked out a lot. She will likely be so starving for attention and to have a guy desire her that she can’t tell the difference between desperate neediness and romantic obsession.

To be fair, most guys don’t know the difference.

Which means you need to ask and find out if you’re coming across with a stench of clingy weirdness.

(This is also what people mean when they say you need to “be more confident.” Confidence is the polar opposite of desperation.)

Oh, and don’t ask your best ‘girl buddy’ about this. Chances are she’s only hanging around you because your lack of interest is challenging and attractive to her, OR she’s taken you on as a pet project.

Ask a guy who is known for telling the painful truth, not a friend. If you want the truth, go hunt it down.

Don’t believe the B.S. other people spew as gospel.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #2: You have no social proof…

Social proof is based on the idea of social influence, stating that people will conform in order to be liked or accepted by the influencer (or society).

What that’s saying is that if the group likes it, we like it. If the group accepts it, we tend to accept it.

That group can even be just one person that has a lot of influence.

So here’s the deal: Do you have people that know you and like you? You have to make sure women encounter you with those people.

A lone wolf approach is going to immediately brand you as unproven, strange, and not quite trustworthy.

If you have no friends, that should be your first order of business – WAY before finding a girlfriend. If you did manage to get a girlfriend with no social circle of your own, she’s going to lose you faster than an ass rash, or ask you to join her Goth Facebook page.

Social proof defines humans in a social order. Think of it as your social “credit rating.”

And women want to know you’ve got the points…

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #3: You’re a victim of your own issues…

I talk to guys all the time that are perfectly fine looking, earn a good income, and just look fantastic – on paper.

But the second they go out on a date, or even manage to meet a woman, their weird emotional issues start getting triggered. I call this their “Weird Stuff.”

The do all kinds of things to ruin it for themselves:

• Get jealous, or needy…
• Get hung up on ONE girl that they can never have…
• Get critical and picky – basically pushing every girl away…
• Lose their willingness to stay clean and well shaven
• They start to get insecure and talk themselves into screwing it up

This list could be so long that it would literally break the page you’re reading it on. It also includes things like being too picky to avoid intimacy and connection, as well as a bunch of other “issues.”

The point is that every guy out there knows what his “stuff” is. And every single one of those guys is trying to cover it up with what I call “guy-makeup.” Women cover up imperfections in their face with makeup, and guys like this do the same thing by covering up their weird behaviors (and confidence issues) with guy-makeup.

If you’re going to get that girl, you have to work on yourself, chum. There’s nothing in the world that’s going to keep a woman from seeing through that.

Sooner or later, your Weird Stuff shows up.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #4: You have exactly NO balls…

These days guys seem to really run around in a constant fear of rejection. I’m not going to label generations, but you know what I’m talking about MILLENNIALS! 

I’m kind of kidding there… it’s just about every generation that expects women to walk up and approach THEM. They expect the woman to initiate.

Look, I’m sorry the media has completely misled you on this, but women’s equality does NOT mean she’s just been waiting for the go ahead to start hitting on you.

Men are the supply, and women are the demand.

Men want what women got, so they get to wait for us to step up and prove ourselves to them. It’s the way of nature, and you’re lack of courage won’t change that.

I was like this once myself. Secretly hoping that I could put on a dash of some secret cologne and women would just dog-pile on me.

IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

Anyone that promises this to you isn’t being up-front.

Sure, you can get women feeling attraction and fighting over you – but that takes some skills you probably don’t have right now. AND you still have to reach out and be seen by them in the first place.

So rather than hope you can skate by on a wish and a prayer, you’d be better off figuring out why women seem so scary to you that you can’t even talk to them.

Because if you’re a fraidy cat now, she’s going to make sure you really don’t have any balls in the relationship.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #5: You avoid social situations…

This includes avoiding groups of people for a wide variety of reasons, including the ones that start out with you self-identifying with your “Weird Stuff” I talked about above.

Look, I get it. I’m an introvert at heart. I get my recharge by being alone and playing video games and playing guitar.

A lot of guys who can’t get laid resort to reading and theorizing about the world a lot. They have very little actual practical experience because they want to avoid action. And the best delay tactic is to be stuck in never-ending book learning.

But ultimately, humans are social animals and need to socialize. Not only for friendships, but yeah – to get a girlfriend you need to meet people.

So you have to let go of your fears about social awkwardness a bit. I see a lot of guys who hold on to their solitary lifestyle and defend it with the fervor of a Southern Baptist Pastor on Sunday.

Stop avoiding people and relating to people. Drop your resistance – and you just might find that it’s not so bad as you think.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #6: You’re a negative Nancy…

This reason for not having a girlfriend is similar to the antisocial one in #5 above. A lot of guys use negativity as a defense mechanism, too.

My personal flavor was one of angry sarcasm and dark humor. I came across as funny, but painfully so.

In the end, I didn’t attract anyone because I was so negative about things. The funny part was that I really wasn’t really a negative guy. I just did it for the laughs.

Once you let go of the anger and feelings of injustice that we men often wallow in, we’re more open to people.

Negativity will drown you in emptiness, so let go of that need to pre-judge the world…

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #7: You have NO PLAN…

Let’s face it – most guys wing it.

I did.

I went for years thinking I could just “figure women out” and get what all the other guys were getting. I ended up so wrong that I almost jumped off a bridge.

So don’t ever delude yourself into thinking that love, sex, and relationships are subjects that you’re just “born knowing.”

NO one comes factory installed with the knowledge to attract women.

No one has a “map to my girlfriend” tattooed on their arm for easy reference.

That’s why I made a plan of my own.

I sat down and mapped out all the things you need to get a girlfriend in one easy reference tool…

Go get your copy here…

The post Why You Can’t Get A Girlfriend – 7 Reasons appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Women are attracted to masculine men, no matter what the media tries to tell you.

You’re going to hear more and more nauseating, confusing and ridiculous information that tells you to “condemn the patriarchy” and embrace someone else’s ‘vision’ (agenda) for the future.

Go ahead and listen to them, and read them if you like, but keep your critical thinking hat on.

Don’t let them confuse you from the truth about what women want.

Is this what a REAL man looks like?

Women want one thing and one thing only, no matter how much everyone tries to believe the opposite:

Women want real MEN.

What’s a ‘real man,’ anyway? Isn’t that subjective?

Doesn’t that just change depending on who you ask?

No, not really.

Masculine – AKA ‘manly’ – traits are fairly consistent.

In my 16 years of doing this dating advice for men gig, one thing I’ve noticed is that feminists (and women with issues – often the same people) rarely (like almost NEVER) challenge me. They seem to sense right off the bat that I’m fully grounded in my identity as a man. I don’t buy into their fluffy white idealistic new-age nonsense.

And yet I see men everywhere challenged in their identities, words, and actions.

It’s a shame, because these are otherwise solid and well-meaning guys. But they lack the fortitude and conviction in themselves to transmit a vibe of MAN to the outside world.

Now, I’m not some knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. I’m not some one-dimensional idiot from a 1940’s movie.

Nor do I rage with testosterone 24/7.

I’m sophisticated and peaceful. And I know a thing or two about cultivating the attitude that women love. That’s why I wrote this little manifesto today for you.

In honor of the passing of R. Lee Ermey (the amazing drill instructor from “Full Metal Jacket“) – this is going to feel a bit like boot camp to you.

Suck it up, Buttercup…

So let’s dig in right now with the 3 Steps to becoming the man women desire…

Become The Alpha Man – Step 1: Grow A Pair, Soldier…!

I’m profoundly disturbed by the culture of waffling, weaseling, and sneakiness I see in men around me every day. I think this was cultivated from too many hours poring over their social media. Trying to make themselves not feel jealous of other people’s lives… and failing.

Posting images of what you ate last night?

Seriously?

Food porn?

I could not give shit-one about that. Anyone else that “likes” that image of your quail-egg soup is also not caring; they’re simply conditioned by the Facebook Illuminati to hammer away at that button whether or not they care. They’ve trained our brain’s reward system to “get off” on our phones.

Realize This: People don’t really “like” something if all they had to do was spend a microsecond hitting a blue button…

What they were doing was yelling “Hey! I’m here! I matter! Don’t forget about me!” into the void.

That’s what most people are doing out there. Hoping that – in this mindless chatter of internet idiocy, we don’t get forgotten. After all, we all deserve to be celebrities!

Right?

WRONG. 

REMEMBER: 90% of the things people post in social media are the fake, smiley propaganda of their lives. They’re just as desperate, unhappy, and unfulfilled as everyone else. They’re just trying to make up a better marketing campaign so that you might not see it.

Social media is a lie.

The truly successful aren’t on Facebook or Instagram posting their successes – they’re living them.

Get your balls back and start to reclaim your confidence and convictions.

Stop living your life in the virtual world.

Start by drawing yourself up a list of the virtues you stand for. I’ll bet not one man in a hundred has ever done this, but it’s essential to who you are. (I’ve attached my complete list of virtues at the end of this article. Use them as your reference.)

Women are attracted – almost unconditionally – to a man who knows what he stands for. It’s the reason that women don’t test or push me around. They know I’m solid and grounded.

And they should know the same about you, soldier.

Take action. Get busy.

You’ve got a good 50 to 60 more years in you, if you don’t eat junk food and get diabetes by 25 like most of the new crop these days.

Go ask that chick out… stop worrying about “the perfect words.” (The Perfect Words  are simply the ones you actually say instead of think.)

She’ll say yes BECAUSE YOU ASKED with conviction, not because you waited 10 years for just the right thing to say to avoid rejection.

Go stir some things up and make a mess. The world gets down on its knees and unzips your pants when you jump in the game instead of trying to watch from your iphone.

“Conflict is a forge for the steel of your willpower.” – Carlos Xuma

Be The Man Women Want – Step 2: Get Out Of The Cry Closet…!

You’re still here, Private? Good! You haven’t rung the bell and quit? Fantastic!

Now drop your hanky, and cut that weepy crap.

Too much indulgence in sadness make a man pathetic.

I’m about as kind, compassionate, and loving as you’re ever going to find in a guy – so don’t mistake this for macho posturing.

But these days everyone seems to need their weepy emotions aired to everyone else because we all think our emotions matter more than anything.

NEWS FLASH! Emotions are an energy source for men. Not your ‘cry closet.’

Emotions are not your place to sulk and ruminate. That’s for women.

Every guy came fresh from the factory with a hot little pepper of anger inside that he needs to tame and utilize for his power. Your anger is a nugget of plutonium

And also – drop that crying crap right now. It’s like this new revolution encouraging men to start acting pathetic. You can FEEL your sadness, son. But you CONTAIN those emotions. Throw boundaries around them – and then channel them over to your batteries.

Crying is surrender.

Crying is “I give up.”

That’s how you feel when you do it, if you think back to how it feels on the inside. It’s a complete resignation that comes from your core.

And that is something no man can entertain. And after a while this reaction becomes rehearsed, and starts to turn you into a weak, rubbery … well, girl.

Look – that’s not an insult to women. Women can handle their emotional highs and lows – they’re used to riding them. It’s part of a woman’s nature to deal with vacillating emotions.

“If civilization had been left in female hands we would still be living in grass huts…”
– Camille Paglia (renowned feminist)

But men use their emotions as fuel for forward progress. We are the action that supports their emotional insight.

Again, FEEL your emotions – but do not DWELL on them!

(By the way – cry closets are a real thing that some universities have implemented for the wuss students that can’t handle their own emotions. And you should be a little shocked by that…)

Be An Attractive Alpha Man – Step 3: Drop the Mic…!

Okay, you made it to Step 3, so I’m promoting you Private FIRST CLASS.

And you’re ready to hear the one thing that’s gonna make panties drop around the world for you…

You need to drop your mic…

Be the man she’s been waiting for…

Yup, show-stopping commitment to your convictions means you speak your mind and drop the microphone.

Walk off stage, and get to work.

There is no dress-rehearsal for life. You’re in the mix right now, grunt.

So make a DECISION. That’s really what I’m talking ’bout here.

Stop waffling and start committing yourself to a story of your own making. Don’t wait for other people to choose for you. Because as Rush said in “Free Will”:

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

Plant your flag and stand for what you believe in. This is the source of that “confidence” everybody tells you to have to attract girls.

They’re right – though it’s not the false confidence of a “pickup line.” It’s the real, dyed-in-the-wool feeling of being VALID.

Worthy.

Only YOU can give yourself that, son.

Stake your claim…

Just check in with reality (such that it is) from time to time to make sure you’re not off on another delusion that the world made up to distract you.

Make sure you read classic literature for being a man:

• The Prince – Nicolo Machiavelli
• 48 Laws Of Power – Robert Greene
• Call of the Wild – Jack London
• Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
• Walden – Henry David Thoreau
• The Art Of War – Sun Tzu
• Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu (no relation to Sun.)

– or the writings of Seneca and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations (which is free on the web.) These guys had masculinity all sewn up and tattooed on their souls over 2000 years ago.

Being a man is an opportunity and a PRIVILEGE! Though, you might not know it from the way people talk these days.

• Ignore the politically charged deluded people out there trying to bend reality to their weaknesses…
• Ignore the obviously misguided masses who only want attention to their plight – whatever it is. (Frankly if it’s not starvation, your whining is just getting on everyone’s nerves.)
• Ignore the people who really only want to grab their own power and control you…

It’s time to drop your mic right now.

Make a decision to start living your life instead of projecting it at other people. Your life isn’t a rumor or a publicity stunt. It’s comprised of the time you’ve got to make your mark, soldier.

It’s what separates the boys from the men – and it’s what makes women want them.

If you want to know more about the complete plan to be an Alpha Man, go here…

• Carlos X.

______________________

VIRTUES:

Wisdom

• Curiosity
• Love of learning
• Judgment
• Ingenuity
• Emotional intelligence
• Perspective

Courage

• Valor
• Perseverance
• Integrity

Humanity

• kindness
• Loving

Justice

• citizenship
• Fairness
• Leadership

Temperance

• Self control
• Prudence
• Humility

Transcendence

• Appreciation of beauty and excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Spirituality
• Forgiveness
• Humour
• Zest

The post 3 Steps To Becoming The Man That Women Want appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Texting women these days can be tricky…

You just don’t know what kind of response she will throw at you, and you need to know how to handle her testing. She’s always looking for a reason to poke and prod your act to see if you’re a real man with the ability to drive up her attraction – or destroy it.

In case you didn’t know, texting is a great way to drive up interest from a woman, but it’s also where most guys screw it up.

Here’s how:

• You text too frequently: Women know that a guy who’s texting them a lot in the first few days of meeting her is probably either needy, or just doesn’t have anything else going on. This communicates your social value…
• You text too long: Most guys write texts that are WAYYYY too many words. If you text anything that exceeds the 160 character limit, you’re looking like a try-hard…
• You text too much of the same jokey crap: Stop being a comedian all the time and vary it up. Send her a tease, followed by an insight, followed by your lunch choice… keep her guessing!

Let’s talk about 7 situations where you will need to text her, and how to handle each one. These 7 stealth texts will show you by example what to text a girl…

Starting with:

Stealth Text 2 – What To Text Her: The After-Text

After you meet a girl – in a bar, at a party, whatever – you need to cement yourself into her mind. Chances are, if she was attractive to you, she was attractive to other guys who talked to her that night.

No, huckleberry, you ain’t the only game in town…

You need to make sure you stand out in her mind so that she won’t wonder: “340-334-4145… Who the hell is this?”

In fact, if you’ve ever gotten a text from a girl that said “Who is this?” you know how far behind you are already. That’s one of the worst texts you can get from a girl. Period.

To stand out, you remind her with your name, something she laughed at that night, followed by a sign-off.

Here’s a great one:

“Hey, it’s Carlos – was great meeting you ‘Kittty kicker’ – Let’s reconnect this week…”

In this case, you two were joking about the story she told you about the time she accidentally kicked her sister’s cat. It’s a tease, and it’s perfect to use. Then you hint that you’ll be in touch.

Now she knows who you are, you reminded her of your confidence, and you’re perfectly setup for:

Stealth Text 2 – Text Her THIS: The Warmup Text

You gotta follow up and reconnect with her, ideally within 24-48 hours. There’s a lot of debate on this on the Internet, but take it from Uncle Carlos – you don’t want her to forget you, so act quicker. Just do it with confidence.

You want to remind her again about your connection, and get her warmed up with this:

“Hey, Kitty… How’s your week going? I know you’re missing those laughs from Saturday…”

BOOM! She’s reminded, and you even managed to squeeze in a little callback to that tease about kicking the cat. Without being obnoxious, by the way.

Be careful you don’t overdo any particular tease too many times. It’s douchey.

Right after she responds to this, you hit her with:

Stealth Text 3 – What To Text Her: The Meetup Text

Yeah, baby – it’s time to slap this one on the ass and get it moving…

After her warmup response, you’re going to go for the meetup request. You have to see if this is going to go somewhere.

This step is HUGE – because if there’s anywhere it goes weird, it’s in this call to action step.

• If she’s into it, she’ll jump on it…
• If she’s hesitant, you’ll sense it…
• If she’s reluctant, you’ll KNOW it…

So send her this next:

“Going to the (name of brewery, restaurant, coffee shop, etc) tomorrow night – let’s get together!”

Then listen to her response, because it’s highly likely that she will throw out some random nonsense for you.

Just a note here: The best thing to do is to resist the urge to do too much convincing… Just plow forward with the assumption that she’s a LUNATIC if she doesn’t meet up with you.

By the way, if you believe too deeply that YOU are the one who would be lucky if SHE agrees, you gotta do some inner game work, my friend.

Stealth Text 4 – Send This Text: The Plow Forward Text

When a girl tests you by resisting, what she wants to see is sincerity in your efforts to woo her. Women don’t believe your words, they believe the meaning they get from the ATTITUDE behind the words… and your actions, of course.

Women are INTERPRETIVE creatures, which means they read into you based on the vibe you give off.

The words of this text are less important than the attitude.

So here’s a really good attitude text to plow her forward:

“Are you crazy? We’re gonna have such a great conversation & you’re stalling? You’re so cute…! What time can you meet me?”

If she insists on pushing you back and not committing (which is still highly likely), you should pick up the phone and TALK to her. Never let a girl get away with pushback. Hearing your voice will make it real. Right now you’re just words on a screen.

Don’t be a chicken-sh*t and avoid talking to her because you’re afraid to confront these things and deal with them, you dig?

Chances are high that she will give in and agree when she hears a real voice.

Next up:

Stealth Text 5 – What To Text Her: The Reminder Text

The younger the girl, the more likely she will no-show you. It’s nothing personal, she’s just playing out her mindless automatic program.

So you want to make sure she feels like complete crap if she does flake on you.

This one is a little edgy, but you can pull it off:

“Hey, I promised the sick kids at the hospital we’d be there at 7:30 to cheer them up, so you better be on time! ;-)”

If you don’t get a response to your text – no matter what you send – you still want to show up at the place you agreed.

However, you need to get a friend to be there with you in case she does flake. This way you won’t feel dumb, and you’ll be able to let it go quicker.

And if she shows, you look more socially desirable. Just introduce your friend, then bid him farewell.

You can also send a more gentle reminder like this:

“Hey girl… no flake-outs, I’ll see you tonight at 7:30… ;-)”

If she texts anything but an enthusiastic “I’ll be there” – you should call her again and go voice.

Stealth Text 6 – How To Text Her: The Running Late Text

This one is a great way to demonstrate value AND remind her of her obligation. If you think you have this girl pretty well locked in, send her this… it will drive up your value and her investment in you:

“Hey, girl… wanted to be a little early, but running a few minutes behind… See you there”

This is great for a reminder text because it shows you’re not too needy.. and if she’s got any BS to throw at you about flaking, now is when she’ll tell you.

Stealth Text 7 – What To Text A Girl: The Finisher Text

When your date is over, you want to finish up right where we started this whole thing – with a text that will cement you in her head as the man she wants.

Of course, this is assuming that you aren’t already in a position to just roll over and talk to her at the end of the night…

By the end of this one-on-one date, you better have impressed her enough to be memorable.

If you don’t know how to do it, you need to learn about Sexual Sparks – and how to push her brain into attraction for you.

With this finisher text, you’re going to be a little bit more cocky, with the purpose of making her value YOU as the prize.

Don’t be arrogant! Just be cocky & funny…

Try this 2-part text:

Part A: “OK that was probably THE best time you’ve had all year…”

Part B: “You’re kinda fun, too! Just don’t start stalking me yet…”

Let her say whatever she’s going to say, just don’t read into it too deeply. Let these texts sit with her for a good 15-20 minutes before you even THINK of replying.

Another mistake guys make is, in their eagerness to get a girl to text them back or like them, they text her back WAY too soon.

Wait at least a few minutes before responding to a girl. If you have any questions why, just remember the last time YOU texted a girl and had to wait for what seemed like an eternity for her response. That time she’s waiting, she’s thinking about you.

Driving up her attraction and desire in the process.

There you go, my friend. You’re now in a position of high value if you followed this chain to the end.

But there’s so much more you need to know to make sure you can handle any of the curve balls she throws you…

Go watch this quick video presentation –

And discover the secret to uncontrollable sexual desire…

The post What To Text A Girl – 7 Stealth Texts To Attract Women appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Life would be a helluva lot easier if you could just open an app on your phone and it would show you all the women around you that were into you.

Problem is, that app is a long way off in the future. So instead of wishing on a dream, why don’t we talk about the real world?

If you want to know if a chick likes you, you need to know what signs to watch for.

Let’s start with:

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #1: She’s whipping her mane…

There’s a great scene in Charlies Angels (the movie from way back) where Lucy Liu advises Cameron Diaz to “flip your damn hair.” Cameron does, and the guy loses his mind for her.

To be fair, Cameron would only have to show up for guys to lose it over her, but whatever.

That hair-flip maneuver works, though. It’s part of a whole set of actions women take subconsciously that give away her true interest level in you.

It’s called Primping. These are body language “tells” that show how much she wants you.

She’ll do stuff like:

• Flip her hair
• Play with her straw
• Giggle
• Fix her blouse
• Fix her hair

The list is really endless. Just watch out for those signs she’s giving off that tell you she’s lovin’ it…

How to tell if a girl is digging you – Signal #2: She’s smiling more than the Joker…

The reality of a woman’s interest is that she’s going to go a little over board to make sure you get the hint that she’s interested in you. Women usually put out way too many signals to count when she’s ready to play.

Smiling is one of those things she won’t be able to help herself from doing. She’ll smile a lot to show her happiness.

• Happy that she found a guy she didn’t have to lose like a case of the crabs…
• Happy that she doesn’t have to sit there alone and wonder if every person in there is judging her because she’s not talking to someone…

Happiness is going to show as a smile on her face.

If she looks too serious, you should consider that a sign of disinterest – especially if she isn’t ponying up some conversation to keep things going.

How to tell if a girl likes you – Signal #3: She’s confusing you…

On the other hand, a woman often doesn’t know how to make you understand she likes you without pulling away her interest every couple minutes.

This happens when she likes you, and starts showing that she likes you, and then realizes she’s showing her interest. Then she acts the opposite way to be “hard to get.” Mostly so she doesn’t have to feel like a “slut.”

Look, I didn’t make them like this. I know it sounds kind of crazy.

But that’s how women think. 

They’re riding this insane roller coaster of emotions in their head (all self-generated emotions, mind you – but she wouldn’t believe that.) And she doesn’t realize how her actions reflect the awkward and irrational stuff in her head.

So if she’s confusing you with hot & cold signals, you can assume that there’s some interest there. If she wasn’t interested at all, you would only get the not-interested version of her.

How to tell if a girl wants you – Signal #4: She’s Laughing…

Not laughing AT you, but with you.

This is kind of a cliche, but it’s true. Women don’t want to lead guys on, so she won’t laugh at anything you’re saying if she’s not genuinely interested.

How to tell if a girl is attracted to you – Signal #5: She’s All Touchy…

If she’s suddenly touchy-feely with you, she’s got to be considering you as a romantic interest. Women don’t usually get physical with a guy they’re not at least a little interested in.

Now there’s another reason that women do this, and that’s to “Stir The Pot.”

You see, women like to provoke things to find out what emotions are involved. She’s wondering if she has any power or control over you, and she might be doing this to see how you’ll respond. If you get too touchy back, she’ll shut you down.

So just take it in stride and stay relaxed.

How to tell if she wants you – Signal #6: She’s Jealous…

If you talk to another girl and she gets snippy or weird on you, chances are:

1. She’s interested – and
2. She’s triggered…

By triggered, I mean that she’s got some emotional baggage that just came to the surface.

A lot of women have weirdness around handling situations with another woman in the picture. Either she’s been cheated on before, or she’s got some insecurities about relationships with competition in them.

Either way, it’s a good sign to start out with. But stay frosty and keep an eye out that she doesn’t have a psycho vibe underneath that. Sometimes a woman’s crazy will completely overtake her interest and feelings for you, and it will get weird – fast.

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #7: She hunts you down…

If a girl is interested in a guy, she will not want to take a chance that you’ll find someone else and ditch her. Women HATE lost opportunities.

So watch for her to actively try to get back with you. If you’re in a bar or club, she’ll find you. Or make her way back to you in some way.

She will have to do it by breaking away from her clique of chick friends, though, so be on the lookout for her. If she’s trying, you have to jump back in once you’ve confirmed she’s searching.

But also realize that if she’s hot, she doesn’t need to hunt anyone down.

Keep an eye out for her interest, and act while you’ve got her interest pointed toward you…

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #8: She points out the coinky-dinks…

If she’s liking you, she’s also going to seize any opportunity to send a signal to you that says: “Hey, this is destiny!”

She’ll pick up on any random thing that you both like, no matter how stupid.

“Hey, we both like breathing and eating food!”

Okay, maybe not that stupid, but you’ll know it when you hear it. She’ll point out simple, stupid things that connect you.

Like:

• Same taste in music
• Same taste in TV shows
• Same taste in food
• Same taste in drinks

You get the picture.

By the way, if you spot something she likes that’s particularly obscure – and you like it – you should point it out. She’ll take it as a sign.

Or … not.

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #9: She’s giving you verbal signals…

Women are both subtle AND predictable when it comes to language…

She will say things that are meant to be a green light for you to move forward with her. And if you don’t catch these signals, you might lose your shot. She only opens her window of interest for a short time, and she expects YOU to know when that happens!

Now, you have to know how to talk to a woman to find out if she’s giving you these signals. Otherwise, you’ll be waiting and hoping for them to show up. And that could be a long time coming…

The best thing you can do is know all the signals to look for – AND how women are triggered to feel attraction for you.

I’ve just put the finishing touches on a program that was designed to help you understand how to hack the game of romance with women.

Don’t do what the other guys are doing – playing the game randomly. As they say, the house ALWAYS wins over suckers.

Instead, get the upper hand – and get that special girl… 

Watch this free presentation on The Sexual Sparks… 

Discover The Secret To Uncontrollable Sexual Desire

The post How to tell if a girl is into you… 9 Signals appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Ah, women.

If you’re not completely captivated by the female species…you’re terrified of them. Strange how the possibility of getting turned down sends waves of fear even through the hardest of men.

Blame it on biological programming I guess. Back then, hitting on the wrong lady-folk literally meant death. If the woman you had your eye on happened to be tight with the big cheese in the village, he and his boys would treat you as a threat.

Cavemen had instinctive knowledge of how to attract women… sometimes

And well, let’s just say he’s not going to let you off with a verbal warning. (Unless your definition of a warning is “getting your head bashed in with the nearest blunt object.”)

These days, any blows dealt are the emotional and psychological kind.

The Curious Case of Brad the Doormat

My friend Brad is a 26-year-old programmer at a mobile app company who loves sci-fi films and plays a lot of video games.  He also has trouble talking to the ladies. He’s petrified by fear the moment the conversation starts.

I know what you’re thinking, so let me stop you right there…

Despite how Brad might seem at first, he’s quite a sociable guy. He enjoys meeting new people and making friends. He even had a pretty hot girlfriend not too long ago – and that’s actually where the problem started. Brad had been in a relationship with this girl for over a couple of years and things were going great.

That is, until she decided to cheat on him with some jock-looking dude who swept her off her feet. Brad was shattered to the core, as any guy would be in his shoes.

Don’t despair…

It’s not that the jerk that his girl ran off with was “better” than him.  It turned out they’d drifted apart for some time and her cheating was just the final nail in the coffin.

In any case, it really did a number on Brad. He’d built his life around their relationship, so he had a hard time starting over. It was especially difficult meeting new women, especially with starting a conversation with them.

Some part of Brad was afraid of messing up again, so he became a super needy, “yes man”version of himself. As a result, he’d crumble at the first sign of resistance.  Either that, or he’d end up going a few dates with someone until she’d gotten enough free dinners and gifts before kicking him to the curb.

Awakening Your Inner Alpha

It was at this point that I stepped in. After watching Brad walk out of one dating minefield and straight into another, I knew I had to rebuild him from the ground up. The fear of women giving you a hard time or rejecting you is a nothing more than psychological hang-up. And if you can’t find a way to get over this mental block around women, they’re going to walk all over you and eat you alive.

But it’s not because women have some grand diabolical scheme to persecute guys.

When a woman puts up an attitude, or seems she’s being vicious on purpose … the truth is that she’s putting you through a screening process for her own protection.

Whoah buddy…

She’s not about to just let any random schmuck in her pants, no matter how attracted she is to him. And the fact that she considers you as a “candidate” means that you already have a shot. Your job is to NOT mess it up by choking at a crucial moment.

Going back my “earlier days” example, women had to choose the right mate, or else they’d be screwed.  They needed a partner that could stand alongside them and brave the big bad world with her and their future offspring.

So if you react in a non-alpha way with your words, actions or behavior, her survival instincts will tell her to give you the boot.

So the real trick is not to shrivel up when a girl gives you crap after trying to hit on her. But it’s not a simple matter of telling yourself NOT to freak out when the moment comes. You need to make some changes on a deeper level to develop a backbone in the dating world.

So let’s get down to it…

Just Break the Damn Ice

Think of talking to women as bungee jumping: the longer you hesitate, the LESS you want to step off the edge.

The most common problem guys have with taking that leap is overthinking the what-ifs.

You might be telling yourself:

• – “What if she doesn’t like me?”
• – “What if she laughs in my face?”
• – “What if she acts like a total bitch and shoots me down in front of everyone?”
• – “What if we don’t gel and the conversation becomes super awkward?”

I can guarantee you ALL guys have gone through this to some degree. But clearly it hasn’t stopped SOME of them from picking up women and even getting laid.

So don’t stress out about how to get a conversation started.  Contrary to popular belief, there is no perfect pickup like or opener – in fact, it’s better that you DON’T have pre-packaged material.

Before I drop the mic…

There might have been a time when that artificial stuff worked, but thanks to the internet, women have caught on. They’re going to smell that stilted dialogue a mile away. Keep it organic instead and pick a topic to talk about.

It may be something as inane as the weather if you’re outside, or the weird way the oranges are stacked at the grocery aisle (seriously – that’s how I got a girl’s number before). Make a funny comment, offer your opinion or simply make an observation.

That last one works pretty well, especially if you say something like, “You strike me as someone who hates 80s covers” or an equally cheeky statement that elicits a response from her. You just need to find a topic as a springboard for other topics later on.

What matters is you don’t think about it too much and just get your foot in the door, so to speak. I’m aware you’re STILL worried about things going south, but we’ll deal with that later on.

Right now, try to remember that this whole talking and flirting deal is a GAME anyway, so you should treat it as such.

Controlling attraction is the answer…

Have a little faith in yourself that you can power through those typical snags guys hit when starting out.

Let’s go a little deeper and move on, shall we?

Be Funny

Easier said than done, I know. But there’s no way around this if you want to catch a girl’s attention.The good news is that it’s also not as hard as you think. I suggest you watch some videos of funny guys in movies and standup sets.

I’m not saying you have to be a Jim Carrey or Dave Chappelle clone – that would be sad and cringe-worthy. What I want you to do is to get a feel of the different styles out there, and how humor and comic timing work.

Observe how the greats point something out from a situation and exaggerate it to a ridiculous degree.

Going extreme can really amp up the attraction…

You’ll find a particular approach that resonates with you, and you should emulate (read: NOT imitate) that. No matter what style you have, you need to have ONE to begin with. Again, don’t worry if your brand of humor doesn’t click with a particular girl.

There are a hundred different reasons (most of which have nothing do to with you) why she didn’t laugh at your clever 90s Seinfeld reference.

She might be having a crap day, her pet plant died, her boss might have chewed her out just a couple of hours earlier, or she just might be a mean person. It doesn’t matter – It just means it wasn’t meant to be and your time is better spent on someone else.

Nothing personal.

And when you jokes DO click with a certain girl, the rest of conversation will take care of itself.

She’s there for you…

She is out there, and you just need to find someone who will “get it.” Like your opener, jokes are just a means to an end – which is getting her guard down and making a connection.

Side note: Try not to use humor that’s too dark or heavy. Comedians like Jimmy Carr are masters at this, but it’s definitely NOT for everyone. It takes a level of familiarity before unleashing this kind of stuff on someone. Save it for much later when you’re sure she won’t freak out – and use it sparingly even then.

Be Shameless

Ok, don’t get me wrong. Acting like a douche, making overtly sexual jokes and getting too handsy will earn you a well-deserved slap in the face.

But on the other side of the pickup spectrum, don’t be so damn apologetic about yourself either.

Look, I know she’s hot and all, but that doesn’t give her a license to judge or talk down to you. Nor does it mean you should waive your right to having an opinion – even if it doesn’t line up with hers.

The hottest couples I know RARELY agree on most things. What keeps them going is the RESPECT they have for their differences, and you need to establish that as early as now.

Which means you shouldn’t be afraid to be REAL with a girl. Again, you can do this without being an actual jerk about it.

Here are some examples:

• – If your passion is building model cars in your basement, don’t act like you have the plague. When she asks you about your hobbies, answer honestly with a smile and be HAPPY about it. How she reacts to it is up to HER, not you.
• – NEVER be sorry about anything if you haven’t crossed any lines (i.e. being creepy, getting too personal, using inappropriate language, etc.).
• – Here are some low-value statements that lower her respect and kill any attraction she has for you: “I’m sorry I’m not your type”, “I’m sorry I’m not a dog person, I hope that doesn’t turn you off”, “I’m sorry for talking to you, I didn’t mean to bother you.”
• – Be upfront about your intentions. You don’t have to spell it out exactly, but the way you present yourself and communicate with her should tell her what direction you want to take with her (i.e. NOT taking the “let’s just be friends” route).
• – Don’t be surprised that women ALSO hate it when a guy would rather hide his feelings of attraction instead of coming out with it. If your goal is to get a date with her, accept that the possibility of a “no” comes with the territory.

Be a (little) Smart-ass

This is the perfect antidote to spinelessness. You may think that you don’t have it in you, but you never know until you try pushing back a little.

Women are 100% more likely to respect you for holding your ground and keeping your dignity – even if you’re being treated like crap. For women with a sweeter disposition, putting yourself out there (even if you’re terrified!) and being a decent human being to them is more than ENOUGH.

(And mind you, I’m not talking about the entitled I’m-such-a-nice-guy-why-don’t-you-love-me kind of decent).

The fact that you’re making the first move, trying to be funny and basically putting in the work will already get you in their good graces.

She’s yours for the taking…

But some women are a little feisty and have more bite than bark.  And fewer still are full-blown bitchy.

Like I said, it doesn’t matter. In cases like those, your basic strategy is to keep your dignity and NEVER let her see you bleed – regardless of the outcome.

Attachment to outcome is what does a man in. The less you care about it, the more liberated you’ll be.  But it takes experience to get to that higher state of mind, so you better buckle up and rack up those miles.

Trust me – it’s a fun ride if you embrace the chaos.

Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, thanks a bunch Carlos, you’ve cured me. All I have to do is tell myself not to be a wuss, and I’ll have the confidence of a Black Ops Marine.”

Chill, man. I got you covered.

Here are some tips to help you survive a particularly unpleasant encounter:

• – Don’t ever try to defend or justify yourself to her. This is a close cousin to not apologizing unnecessarily, and the point is not allowing her nasty words to have leverage over you.
• – When she says, “Nice Star Wars” shirt, I bet all the girls are begging you take them home,” don’t act all hurt and try to “correct” her. You LOSE if you snap back with, “Excuse me, Star Wars happens to be one of the greatest sci-fi stories of all time and anyone who’s cultured will have some appreciation of it.”  
• – Stay in the game. It’s all about returning her serve, so lob that zinger right back and put the ball in her court. The best way to handle that Star Wars remark is by taking it to a ridiculous level: “Yeah, I’m the galaxy’s biggest stud, no doubt.”
• – Turn the tables on her by taking it further. Now, she might try to keep you on your toes with another condescending quip like, “Sorry, I don’t find sci-fi geeks attractive at all”, so you just recalibrate that reality with a statement of your own. “Well, don’t diss it ‘til you’ve tried it. Besides, millions of Big Bang Theory fans don’t have a problem with sexy geeks.”
• – She might take a jab at your appearance like your thinning hairline or bulging mid-section, to which you say respectively, “Yeah, balding is awesome – who needs all that wind resistance anyway?” and “What’s wrong with having more of me to love?”
• – Stay the course. Once you’ve gone down this path, don’t back down now. Keep up the verbal wordplay even if she ends up leaving. Finish the game strong and let it be a character-building moment.

Speaking of which…

Lose Graciously

So maybe it’s really not working out and she simply refuses to be won over.  It’s no big deal. No one will fault you for employing a dignified exit strategy.

You can lick your wounds when you get home. In the meantime, just finish things off with “Thanks for your time anyway, it was nice talking to you” and remove yourself from the situation.

Unloading your frustration on her will make a less-than-ideal scenario into a legitimately BAD one.

It helps to think of it this way:

Your goal isn’t to find The One Girl Destined For You.

You’re just here for the ride, so enjoy it.  If you do get a serious relationship out of it, that’s not worth thinking about until MUCH later on.

You can play coy, my dear…

Your immediate priority is getting your inner game sorted out and not being a doormat to women. 

And that takes us to the last part…

Rock-Solid Confidence Is a MUST

Obviously, I can’t hope to cover this entire topic right here and now. But this is important stuff because having a spine means believing in yourself.

If you felt you were lacking or defective in some way, this is 100% going to mess with your game.  You can “fake it til you make it” all you want, but the “making it” part is about developing good old-fashioned self-confidence.

That doesn’t mean though you have to hold off on interacting with women while you work on this part of yourself.

Yeah, that’s one thumbs up buddy

You can still build up that in-field experience while learning about the basics of being more confident.

Here are some basics to help you get started:

• – Think about the positives. Make a simple list of the stuff you’re naturally good at, and any interests and hobbies that make you, YOU. Also include stuff you’ve done in the past that a made a difference or impacted people positively. Having pride in who you are is a good start and a basic building block of confidence.
• – Deal with your hang–ups. I’m not trying to be your shrink or anything, but I want you to think about experiences growing up that might have shaped that narrative you have about yourself. People like your family, friends, classmates, ex-partners (like in Brad’s case) have an effect on your confidence and it’s important to acknowledge this.
• – Put an action plan down in writing. Maybe there’s a particular area in your life you’re not feeling great about, so come up with a list actionable items to help you work on it.Whether it’s being better at sports, playing music or being the world’s best hotdog eater, create a path to follow with milestones along the way (kidding about the last one of course). The more you check off these items off the list, the greater your confidence will grow.
• – Don’t be a slob. It’s sad to see a lot of guys not feeling 100% about themselves because of something they could totally prevent. You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but there’s no excuse for being out of shape and poor hygiene. That, and eating healthy (or at least trying to) are totally under your control.
• – Handle the Essentials. Even the basics like taking a shower, smelling good, brushing your teeth and having a sense of style will give you serious boost before you leave your place. Confidence is NOT worrying about these things when you’re dealing with other people – women included.
• – Get your Z’s. And while we’re on the topic of health, get your sleep life in order – your waking hours depend on it. Look up how to keep your circadian rhythm in harmony. The better you rest, the more stuff you get done in the day!

Hey, I know all of this is a lot to take in, but trust me that this will put you on the right path to unleashing the Awesome Alpha Dude in you.

When you cultivate a solid personality that comes from a place of fearless authenticity, women will sense that and respect you.

This could be your lap, man

Now, I also happen to have a FREE CD that will help you along your journey. It’s a great guide that takes everything we’ve just talked about now, and ACCELERATE your progress like crazy!

It’s my gift to you that’ll help you create an unshakable masculine core that will have women fighting over you.

Forget about grovelling to win their approval – this will flip the script by blasting away any trace of insecurity in your system!

Check it out NOW – CLICK HERE

The post How to Attract Women (by Growing Your Spine) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

It’s easy to get caught up in “the perfect thing to say” that’s going to sweep her right off her feet. But what if that’s not nearly as important as you think?

What if the importance of your words is dwarfed by something that will make her actually feel something?

What if the way that you physically touch her, and how often you do it, is actually way more crucial to your success?

Why Touch Matters So Much

Scientific studies from the Southern Illinois School of Medicine and McMaster University in Toronto tell us that women have TWICE the amount of nerve receptors in their skin as men, and that these receptors are more tightly-packed together.

This means that women feel touch to their skin at least 2x more than men. According to researchers it could even be as high as 10x.

With these kinds of numbers, it’s an important skill to know and master.

Especially when you first meet her, how often and how much you touch her is going to determine how attracted and turned on you can make her.

It’s also going to affect how connected she feels to you, and whether or not she trusts you.

Here’s why.

The Chemical in Her Body that Turns Her On

When you touch her, you’re releasing a hormone inside her called “oxytocin.”

This has been called by researchers the “love” or “bliss” hormone, because it affects the part of your brain that makes you feel trust and connection with someone.

Think about it.

When someone hugs you or holds you close, don’t you feel some kind of comfort? Even when someone simply touches your arm in conversation, it gives you an indescribable, great feeling.

This is oxytocin being released.

Why This is So Important

The idea that: a) what you say to her and b) how you say it are the only things that turn her on can mess with every guy’s head.

If you’re a shyer/more introverted guy, you may think you have to speak up more and be louder and more dominant in conversation.

For guys who are more outgoing and naturally talkative, you may get caught up in saying the “perfect things.” Most likely you’ll end up coming off as inauthentic.

These mindsets both take away from what science tells us is staring us in the face:

Creating a physical connection through touch is the fastest, most sure-fire way for you to relax her, build trust, and turn her on.

Not learning the right routine.

Not saying cheesy lines she thinks you could have said to every other girl at the bar.

But creating a simple, but powerful connection through touch, and doing it in the right way.

Simple Formula on How To Touch Her

While this important skill can help you turn her on and create connection with ease, you want to make sure you do it the right way.

The way you initiate touch can be the difference between skyrocketing sexual tension…and her labeling you as “creepy” and vanishing into the night.

That’s why you need to read this simple, 3-step formula that will guide you through the entire process in a way any man can follow.

It was created by an all-star attracter and seducer named “Magic.”

Even if you’re:

a) Almost clueless about this process,
b) You’ve heard about the benefits but never tried it, or
c) it makes you feel wildly uncomfortable to have to initiate contact with girls you meet,

This system will guide you through it.

Thankfully, one of Magic’s students created a presentation on the formula, and it’s free for you guys for a limited time.

So if you ever feel nervous during conversation or you have trouble building a physical connection with girls you meet, don’t walk, run, to watch this presentation.

Click here NOW for free access while it’s still up…

The post Science Proves How Powerful Touch is to Women appeared first on How To Win With Women.

And it’s pretty riveting, to say the least.

I’ve known this guy for YEARS, and every time we’d see each other he’d complain about getting passed up for some jerk that treated women like dirt.

He couldn’t figure out for the life of him why women NEVER saw him as anything more than a “harmless friend”.

The last I heard from him, he was upset over a girl who was getting married to another guy. Scott was pretty torn up about it because he was totally into her and he KNEW her fiancé was an abusive douchebag.

According to him, he got the usual “You’re a nice guy, but…” speech before the woman he loved walked out of his life FOR GOOD.

Or so it seemed.

We hadn’t talked since then and I never knew what happened to him after that. Well, I ran into him again recently, and it’s like he turned into a completely DIFFERENT guy.

And it wasn’t because he got jacked like a bodybuilder or won the lottery. To be honest, he still looked the SAME (expect for the few pounds he gained) and he wasn’t driving around in a Ferrari.

The shocking difference between Old Scott and New Scott was that he now had a SMOKING HOT woman around his arm.

“Carlos, this is my girlfriend Sophie.”

I thought I’d seen it all, but I was FLOORED.

(After all, this was a hard 10 we’re talking about here…)

After how devastated he seemed before, I never expected him to bounce back like THIS.

So, I did my best to hide my utter shock and tried to keep up with the chit-chat. But in the back of my mind, I was like, “Am I in a body snatcher movie or what? This was the Scott who couldn’t save his life to open a half-decent conversation with a woman…”

Come to think of it though, there was SOMETHING ELSE different about him that I didn’t pick up on right away. Seeing him interact with his new girlfriend, I noticed he carried himself in whole NEW way – I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was…

As someone who’s been teaching guys how to attract women and get them into bed for over a decade now, I could sense how he naturally oozed of GENUINE CONFIDENCE.

Everything he said and did indicated this, but it was so subtle that I didn’t notice it at first.

Frankly, I found it a little eerie, but in a good way.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about Scott’s AMAZING transformation – and wondering HOW he did it. As much as I like the guy, I was well aware he was no Brad Pitt or Chris Evans to be able to get a gorgeous lady like that on his own.

When we met up again the same week, I asked him. “Alright dude, tell me how you did it,” I told him point blank.

Judging by the smug grin on Scott’s face, I knew he was WAITING for me to ask him that ever since I saw him and Sophie together.

It turned out she was the SAME chick he was moaning about not long ago. And it was pretty obvious that she changed her mind about getting married to that other dude.

So for the next hour, he told me about an unusual approach he called “Cross Escalation” – according to him, it UNLOCKED the man he was meant to be all along.

Thanks to this unorthodox psychological principle, Scott was able to effortlessly make women think about him to the point of OBSESSION.

As much as I’d like to share the details of his life-changing journey here, I think it would be better if you heard it from Scott himself.

To get the WHOLE STORY of how he changed from a shy, introverted mess of a guy to the confident Alpha male that women CRAVED, head on over here.

Trust me, you owe it to yourself to hear what he has to say. Click here to find out NOW…

And my good buddy has a new article up here that you might enjoy…

The post She called off her engagement for him… appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Uh, no. That’s not what it takes.

But what you have to understand up front is why girls DON’T like you.

And it’s not even really YOU they don’t like. It’s what you’re communicating to her.

The signals you’re giving off are giving you up.

So let’s jump into the 5 reasons why she doesn’t like you, so you can avoid letting her see these mistakes in the first place.

When you avoid these little mistakes, you’re going to immediately jump into the next level with your dating game.

Why doesn’t she like you? Reason 1: Your image sucks.

And I don’t mean that you’re a bad looking guy. The honest-to-gosh truth is that 95% of guys fall into the “oh, he’s cute” range for girls.

Really. They don’t care as much about looks as men do.

In fact, the only guys that care about their looks that much are typically the guys who are looking for an excuse for why they can just give up on dating.

“Oh, poor me… I don’t look like Adam Levine or whoever chicks say is ‘sexy’ this week.”

It’s lame and you just need to drop it.

I always remind guys that looks are NOT as important to her as they are to you.

BUT image is important.

Image is how you’re put together in the big picture.

– Are your clothes reasonably fashionable and fit well?

No t-shirts with dumb sayings. No cheapo running shoes with cuffed jeans.

I’m saying you might need to review your wardrobe a bit, and maybe upgrade a few items.

At least those shoes. Seriously.

– How’s the hygiene going?

Reality check… How often do you trim your nails, your wild crotch afro? What about that dry skin on your elbow or that halitosis?

Get yourself on a daily regimen of one shower, one shave, one trim, and one brush-floss minimum per day, and you’ll jump to the head of the line from most guys.

I feel like a broken record on this topic – but it’s worth chanting.

Really, you’d be amazed how much of an impact this stuff makes on a girl.

– Are you groomed well?

I have a friend who gets his hair cut every 2 weeks.

Why? So he doesn’t look like he just got his hair cut all the time.

He always looks well-groomed.

Sorry, but the Man-Bun was already out before it was in, and you gotta keep the hair under control. I still have my ridiculous 1990s soul patch that I have to trim, and some wild ear hairs.

But dude – I’m rocking that soul patch.

Just keep your personal hygiene on the top of your attention, and she’ll pick up on it.

Reason 2: No connection with her

If there’s one thing that will make a girl like you, it’s creating a connection with her that’s unique.

That’s a hard thing to put into words, though. I mean, what is a “connection” anyway?

Here’s the simple definition: A special understanding that you two share with each other.

It’s the thing that you create with each one of your friends and family…

It’s pretty obvious when you really think about it.

So take a look at the really grounded and meaningful connections you’ve made in the past, and you need to apply that to the conversations you have with girls.

Here are the critical parts of a real connection:

– She feels heard

This might seem like a “duh” – but you only have to be able to listen to her effectively to make her feel a special connection. Show her that you’re there, you’re present, and you’re understanding her situation.

Her girlfriends will do this, but I know for a fact most of them are doing it wrong. When a GUY can do it, she will lock onto you like a tractor beam in Star Trek.

– She feels you GET her

When you’re able to simply repeat back what a girl is thinking and saying – in slightly different words – she will become immediately infatuated. This is one of those things that I show guys how to do in my programs.

Let her know that you can see the “special little girl” inside her act. Every woman is secretly afraid that she’s not good enough, and you can reassure her like no one else can.

– She feels this is special

This comes automatically when you do the other things I’ve told you. She needs to simply feel that your connection is something she can’t get with the next guy that comes along with a cheap pickup line.

It’s priceless to her.

Now let’s move on to:

Why this chick doesn’t like you – #3: You don’t have any confidence

This one’s been said so much it’s a cliche. And I don’t blame you if you just rolled your eyes.

But hear me out…

A woman wants to see confidence in you – because that makes her feel safe with you – and herself.

Confidence isn’t arrogance or bravado, either.

It’s that feeling that you’re a guy who’s comfortably on your own path, and you’re not reacting to every little change in your environment like a twitchy squirrel.

Keep cool, and be non-reactive to women – or the things that threaten to knock you off center. That’s the essence of cool confidence.

Reason 4: You’re boring her.

Seriously, you have to understand that most guys talk about the most boring crap imaginable. And it’s not that she couldn’t be interested in these topics.

It’s just that she doesn’t have a reason to WANT to be interested if she doesn’t already like you and feel attracted to you.

Really, talking about your obscure guy hobbies, or geek interests will not really get her fully engaged in your conversation. Nor will it get her feeling sexy.

You should talk about things with EMOTIONAL content.

Talk about the things that SHE will find interesting.

It’s not hard.

Just talk about… HER.

Ask her questions that make her dig into who she is. The more vulnerable you get her, the more she will be emotionally open to your connection.

Remember that guys are guilty of talking too much about things and facts and numbers and data…

That’s boring to a girl.

Talk about the world of feelings and experience and you’ve just found her secret frequency of desire.

And finally…

The secret reason she doesn’t like you – #5: You don’t know the roadmap

What’s The Roadmap?

It’s the path to the goal that every guy has to know to get a girl from not knowing you, to liking you, to falling for you.

Most girls can tell when a guy knows this map. It’s obvious right from the first few minutes of talking to him.

She can feel if he’s got this path figured out – or if he’s just winging it.

In a way, this is related to confidence. Only this is more like SEXUAL confidence.

Remember what I said about confidence earlier: It’s that feeling that you’re on your own path, and you’re not reacting to every change or challenge that comes along.

The same is true of your ability to lead a woman to the goal of your relationship: physical intimacy.

Sex.

And that’s her goal, too. She just won’t talk about it because she’s too afraid of being seen as promiscuous or “slutty.”

All my teachings – are about helping men meet, attract, and date the girl you want.

I am NOT about:

– Misogynist attitudes towards women

– Using manipulation or deception to have sex

– Anything that demeans or mistreats women

– Coercing women into unwanted sex

IF that’s your goal, leave right now…

Carlos LOVES and RESPECTS women. And my material is ONLY for guys who feel the same way.

Ultimately this is all for your self-improvement and betterment as a MAN, not as a womanizer or jerk.

Enjoy the material I teach, and understand any focus on sex and sexuality is to help achieve the goal that BOTH men and women have in a relationship. Sex is what ultimately completes a relationship for both of you.

So when you know the roadmap to sexual success, you’re serving both of you. It’s a win-win.

If you’d like to discover how to trigger a girl’s “Lust Response“, you need to check out this killer program I put together for you.

I’ll show you the stealth secrets for turning on the “Lust Switch” in a girl’s mind. You can get started TODAY by clicking HERE.

The post How To Get A Girl To Like You – 5 Reasons why she doesn’t like you (Part 1 of 3) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

You can’t expect to lure a woman into your bed with your Magic: The Gathering card collection, or your life size Bruce Lee figure.

Too weird, dude.

(Though, I did hook up with a long term girlfriend by showing off my $150 Lamborghini Countach model… that’s a story for another time.)

The big problem is that most guys don’t know what REALLY gets women hot for a guy. If you ask a man, you’ll get either a man’s programmed response: “Money! Big wanker! Nice Car!”

Or you’ll get a woman’s programmed response: “Be funny! Be Confident! Be sensitive!”

Now, some of those are right. but not as much as you might think. In fact, the real answer is much more frustrating for a guy to hear…

But let’s clear out the “elephant” in the room right now… do you need to be rich to attract women?

Being wealthy indicates power, security, comfort and even a certain amount of exciting energy. This is very attractive to women who crave all these feelings.

After all, there are PLENTY of women dating poor guys.

And that’s really what women want. It’s not the money itself.

It’s the FEELINGS the man makes her experience when she’s around him.

Everything you do, everything you say, everything you communicate with your lifestyle will create a feeling in a women.

So the fastest way to get her attracted to you is to give her the FEELINGS she desires.

Let’s jump right in, and I’ll give you 5 qualities that makes women attracted to men.

(And I’m promising you right now that it’s not about the shampoo or shower gel you’re using…)

Here we go with:

#5 quality to attract a girl is: Speaking to her true self.

If you can get past her defenses and the walls she puts up around herself, you can truly speak to the real person inside of her.

You’ll be one of the few men in her world that understands her. This makes you very significant to her, and will make you attractive like no other.

You see, most women talk about almost anything and everything.

The part that most men don’t know about is that women don’t have a very strong sense of self. They’re more fluid with their self-perception than man are.

Chances are, SHE doesn’t even know who she is in her heart of hearts.

So when you’re able to talk to her and perceptively tell her what you see in her, she will listen to you as if you’re speaking the gospel.

Tell her what you see in her personality. If you spot something worth noting (and hopefully you do, otherwise – why are you talking to her?) point it out.

95% of guys have no idea this works, much less how to do it, so make sure you put that bullet in the chamber.

#4 trait that attracts women to men is: Conviction.

No, I’m not talking about doing 10-to-15 years for bank robbery…

I’m talking about how much conviction you have in yourself.

Your life. Your beliefs.

What this one boils down to is how unshakeable are you? How content and happy are you in your own skin?

The easiest way to do this is to simply start forming opinions about stuff. Not pig-headed and dumb, but just have an opinion worth talking about.

Things like politics are good, but also more philosophical ones as well.

This is the essence of the “Power Question” technique I teach in my programs. You can ask questions that will not only make her think, but also tell her that you’ve got your own beliefs and stand on things.

A woman instinctively knows that a man who doesn’t take a stand is not of strong enough character to protect her.

Another way a man has conviction is that he knows what he wants in life. He’s decisive.

This is the real essence of “confidence” that you hear everyone talking about. You can’t just “get confident” – but you can easily start being more convinced of things in your life, can’t you?

Anything is fair game to have an opinion on.

– Best pizza

– Worst time to surf Facebook

– Favorite TV show

– Best place for late evening dessert

Start stocking up on your opinions and convictions. What’s important to you?

What do you believe in?

If you’re not sure, now’s the time to find out.

#3 trait that women dig: Skill.

What kind of skill?

Any kind of skill is attractive to a girl. For example:

– Playing a musical instrument

– Racing cars or motorcycles

– Being a good cook or chef

– Being extremely good with computers

And especially if that skill demonstrates the following things:

– It took you some time to acquire it. This says that you have the self-discipline to work for something.

– It challenged you. This says that you have the belief in yourself to keep going after the goal.

– It was voluntary. Meaning that you had to make the choice to acquire this skill. Which shows that you are not a quitter.

These are all examples of masculine qualities that girls find attractive.

When a woman looks to a man to protect her and keep her safe, the same qualities that you used to acquire that skill are the same ones she knows will serve her in the relationship.

Yeah, it’s a little bit selfish, but women survive by being cautious with their safety.

Related to this quality is the next one on our list…

#2 characteristic that makes a man attractive is: Dominance and strength.

This doesn’t mean that you’re a bully or a brute, nor does it mean that you have to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger (in his prime.)

Dominance simply means that you DOMINATE. As in, you have achieved authority, mastery, or command over something.

Hell, it could be dominating in checkers, as long as you do it well.

Girls are – by nature – submissive. Men are naturally more dominant and authoritative.

Not to be sexist in any way, but it makes the world work better. This is the natural order of things.

There are a ton of ways to demonstrate your dominance:

– Physical fitness – which is not to say incredibly ripped abs, or 48″ biceps. Just be FIT – which means trading in an hour of television regularly to get some exercise. Just being trim and in shape will instantly communicate dominance to her.

– Leadership ability – Aspiring to manage people is a great way to cultivate the attraction quality that women can’t resist. Fact is, girls sleep with their bosses not because they were pressured to; she did it because she gets hot for men in authority positions. Pretty much every woman does.

– Being good with kids and animals – Yeah, you read that right, being good with kids (even if you two never have any) and fuzzy little critters is something that almost NO GIRL can resist.

– Be DRIVEN and ambitious – This shows that you’ve got the aggressive motivation that she can count on – especially if it came down to survival. Are you a survivor? You should know that before you walk out the door every day.

And finally, the top of the qualities…

#1 Quality that attracts girls to guys is: Social value

This one is a catch-all that encompasses many others. You don’t have to have them all, and that’s the beauty of it.

You can pick and choose like it’s a buffet. She only needs to see some of them from time to time to know that you have social value.

What is Social Value?

It’s how much you’re valued by your friends, family, and people you work with. If you command respect from them, you have social value.

Here are just a few of the ways that social value is demonstrated:

– Fun: Are you a fun person to hang out with? Do you have a positive attitude and aura about you? Being a “Donnie Darko” isn’t going to be attractive, no matter how much you try to justify that mindset.

– Generosity: Are you a giver or a taker? Do you have the spiritual openness to be un-selfish when you can?

If you’re a giver, this tells a girl that you’ve got the relaxed attitude of a man with resources. With abundance, instead of scarcity.

If you’re a taker, you’re not going to be generous to her with what she needs, which is emotional support, love, and a certain amount of adoration.

– RELAXED: This shows that you’ve got a light approach to life. You’re not uptight. Guys who are structured and tense are typically this way because they don’t feel secure about their ability to handle life. Which also tells a woman that she’s with a guy who might not be a good pick when it comes to betting her genetic legacy.

Guys who have an angry, defensive air about them are NOT socially valued. In fact, they’re avoided.

Social value may sound pretty serious when I put it into these terms, but it’s important for you to understand how powerful it is when it comes to your life.

Guys with the ability to communicate social value are the most successful, the happiest, the wealthiest, and the most secure.

In study after study, these guys also live the longest, and typically get laid WAY more than other men. It comes down to your level of SEXUAL POWER as a man.

And that alone should motivate you to focusing on these qualities that make you more attractive to girls.

It’s that solid foundation of rock solid masculinity that women CRAVE, and I’ve put together a program to help you with that. It’s called Alpha Sexual Power – this course teaches you how to harness your inner qualities as a man and AMPLIFY them tenfold.

Click HERE to get started with this TODAY.

The post What Attracts Women – 5 Qualities Every Man Needs appeared first on How To Win With Women.

She’s smiling, laughing, plays with her hair, slaps you on the arm, yadda yadda.

Well here’s the deal..

It’s just as important – if not more – to know when she DOESN’T like you. You don’t want to stand there buying this girl drinks, making small talk, if she doesn’t want anything to do with you.

I’ve stood there hanging around a hot girl, hoping she was interested, only to find out she was eyeing my wingman. It was pretty humiliating.

I could have saved myself the time and money (and embarrassment) if I had only picked up on her signals.

So how do you know if a girl isn’t interested in you?

I’ll show you 5 easy clues so you know when a woman is leading you on or not.

The first signal she isn’t into you: She’s constantly checking her phone.

This one is a must – you have to get her to stop texting and checking the time on her mobile. If she’s paying attention to someone who ISN’T there, then you’re not doing too well, my friend.

YOU need to be her primary focus. You don’t have to be a singing, dancing monkey of course.

But you do have to keep her engaged enough that she puts her phone away.

If she even glances at her little blue screen, you have to call her on it, too.

Nicely, of course…

“Hey, is that the president calling again? I told him to stop monitoring my friends.”

“There’s no way that person is as fun as me. Tell them to stop ruining your chances with me.”

“Hey, can I text them a dirty limerick?”

You want to let her know that you notice her behavior and you’re willing to say something. Most guys just sit there and nervously smile, waiting for her.

You have to show her she needs to respect you from the very first minute you meet.

Don’t be a dick. Just be clear that you value your time, and so should she.

Signal she isn’t attracted to you #2: She keeps bringing up her boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend.

Look, I consider any woman that’s out in a singles bar or public event without her man to be fair game.

After all, if they were really close, he’d be there. But I’m also respectful if it’s obvious that she’s sincerely attached or married.

But if a girl keeps bringing up the subject of her boyfriend – whether he’s the current one or not, I have to question her motivations.

She’s not doing it to impress me or turn me on. And it’s not likely she’s trying to make me jealous to inspire some competition.

She probably just doesn’t dig me all that much. Which is fine.

It’s more pathetic to stand there and try to keep the conversation going when the writing is on the wall.

So I know when to let it go.

Women just don’t bring up the B word unless she’s really got one, or really doesn’t want me to bother.

Here’s the #3 clue that she doesn’t like you: She keeps going back to her conversation with her girlfriends.

This one is right up there with using her cell phone while she should be talking to me. If she’s giving TOO much attention to her friends, she’s not that into me.

In fact, if she’s not that into me, she will have probably have given her friends a signal with her eyes at some point. Girls have a signal they put out called the “help me” eyes.

It’s an intense eye contact that she gives to one of her friends that tells her to help her break free of the conversation.

So if one of her friends suddenly starts getting in the way, you can bet that the girl you’re talking to signaled her to do it.

It’s okay, just find another willing target to focus your attention on.

She isn’t attracted to you – signal #4: Her texts suck, and she never answers her phone.

Okay, so maybe you got her number last night, and now you’re trying to re-establish contact with her. So you send her a text like: “Hey, how are you today? The music was great last night”

You wait for a couple hours, and you get this back: “Yeah…”

WTF?

Lame.

So you try again: “I was going to hit my favorite coffee shop today… In the mood for an incredible Espresso?”

Another 20 minutes goes by, and you get: “Maybe”

Maybe?

MAYBE?

Look, here’s a good time for me to share my absolute rule of dating with you:

If a girl isn’t ENTHUSIASTIC and EXCITED to be with you, then she’s not worth your time.

Think about it. If she’s anything less than STOKED to be with you, that only means an uphill battle for you. You’re basically saying, “Yeah, I’ll take what I can get.”

No way. A busy, social, active guy doesn’t have time or energy to waste on low quality prospects.

It’s a bit like sales in that respect. If you don’t have someone that’s excited to buy what you’re selling, you’re in for a fight.

It’s hard enough to get into bed with a girl who really likes you, so you’re really making it hard on yourself if you start out with a handicap like this.

Not to mention the reality that first impressions don’t usually improve over time – especially with girls.

So when a girl gives you half-assed replies to your texts, or generally doesn’t give you a whole lot of positive mojo early on, she’s not into you.

Time to move on.

And the #5 – and final signal that she doesn’t like you that much: She tells you you’re “sweet” or “nice”

If she’s putting you into words like this, that means she’s probably trying to make you feel good about the future fact that you’re not going to get to sleep with her.

Or kiss her. Or anything, really.

A woman’s vocabulary is pretty consistent. She’ll only call you “sweet” if she thinks you’re a nice guy without any strong masculine edge.

She will only call you “nice” if she sees you doing stuff for her that makes her start to feel obligated to you.

You see, there’s a behavioral quirk in girls that makes her feel weird when a guy does stuff for her, and she’s not feeling attraction for him. She doesn’t want to be in his debt.

So she’ll need to get out of this situation before she starts to feel like she’s using you.

Some girls have no conscience about this, but most do. And that’s another reason why you don’t want to do too much for a girl you’ve just met.

Sure, you can buy her a drink, but after that first one, she should be offering to buy you one soon if she’s feeling that magnetic pull.

Listen to how she talks about you in that first conversation for a clue about where her head is at.

BONUS TIP: Here’s a quick little test to figure out if she’s attracted to you…

At some point in your conversation, tell her: “Hey – I’ll be right back. I have to find my friend.”

Go find your friend – then, find your way to stand near her like you don’t see her.

See if she flags you down or tries to get your attention. If she does, she’s still interested.

If she doesn’t, well you might want to take this opportunity to move on and find another target for your interest.

Now, if you haven’t seen any of these signs, that doesn’t mean you’re home free. It just means you’re in a better situation than most of the guys out there.

It’s up to you to make her forget her sexual program and jump on the opportunity with you.

If you don’t know, a woman’s sexual program is the set of steps she goes through from meeting you to pushing you down on the bed and pulling your pants off.

This sexual program is her roadmap – and she will take you along for the whole ride if you’re not careful.

You need a shortcut to the end of her map, whether you’re just looking for a night of fun, or a long time girlfriend.

If you want to know more about how to hack her sexual program, go take a look at my gameplan for making sure she’s always interested in you – CLICK HERE NOW

The post How To Know If A Girl DOESN’T Like You – 5 Signs appeared first on How To Win With Women.

But girls aren’t computers, last I checked.

So we have to figure out how to “hack” her system another way to make her like you and want you.

I’m going to share 5 ways to get her to want you using simple tricks of psychology. The best part is that they work on a subconscious level that she won’t even register.

The first one is:

How to make her desire you with body language: Exaggerate your shoulders

One of the interesting things I see in guys I coach is that almost every guy who has a tough time with confidence inhibits or constrains his body language. Almost as if he’s smothering his self-expression.

The easiest way to overcome this is to consciously take control of your body language for a while until you break this habit. Chances are you’re being far too restricted with your movements.

One of the best ways to communicate confidence with your body is through exaggerating your shoulder movements as you walk.

Don’t go overboard like you’re about to break into a song and dance routine from “West Side Story.” Just let your shoulders move a little more freely.

Your shoulders communicate your focus of attention, so use them when you’re talking to her, too.

When you want her to feel heard and focused on, face her with your shoulders.

When it’s time to take away a little attention, look away with your eyes and shoulders as well.

It seems kind of small and insignificant, but it will make a huge difference in how she responds to you.
The second tip is…

Get her to want you by slowing down and being more fluid…

This is another body language tip. Again, most guys are far too nervous and jerky with their bodies.

They come across like nervous birds.

And girls are very responsive to your mood as they sense it from your body movement.

So when you talk to her, make sure you’re moving as if you’re underwater. Very slow and fluid motions of the body that feel almost graceful.

Focus on your head, eyes, and hands as they are about 90% of your expression when you’re talking to her. Of course, avoid talking fast.

Even go so far as to slow down your breathing, blinking, and your laughter.

At first this will feel almost cartoonish and exaggerated, but that’s only because you’ve become used to moving so quickly all the time. Just relax and fall into a slower groove.

If you catch yourself speeding up again with your speech or movement, just tell yourself to relax, and bring it back down to a more grounded movement.
The third tip is…

Make her like you with your attitude: Tease to Please

By now most guys have heard of my strategy of teasing girls. Some guys call it “cocky and funny.”

It boils down to the same thing: Girls respond to verbal challenges.

So let me give you a quick example:

– You’re on a date and she fumbles her water a little

You say: “Careful… I might have to cut you off from the hard stuff.”

OR: “Should I get you a sippy cup, or are you going to be okay?”

The key is to smirk a little when you deliver that.

And until you’ve got a good feel for how much is TOO much, I suggest you use my words. Those are field tested and approved.

Another way to tease a woman is to let her express her taste in something like music, movies, art, whatever – and then act like you disapprove.

I do this by covering my forehead with my hand and shaking my head.

Then I say: “Oh, man. You were doing so well up until now. Look, I’ll let you have a do-over. I’ll pretend that didn’t happen.”

The reason that teasing works so well with women is that it triggers something inside her that makes her feel as if the connection has been shaken up.

A woman’s natural instinct is to never jeopardize the connection between her and anyone else. So she’ll backpedal and try to make a save.

You’ll be tempted to hold back and play it cool early on, but that’s a big mistake. You need to risk a little early on or she’s going to think you’re dull.

Let me be clear here: This isn’t manipulation or insulting her to make her feel inadequate. This is playful energetic conversation.

Anything else is a waste of both your time.

The fourth sneaky way to get into her heart and trigger her feelings:

Make her like you by taking her to eat spicy food…

This one is a secret weapon in my arsenal.

Spicy food is a way to do three important things:

First, it increases blood flow. It gives her a rush of heat and she’ll associate this feeling with you.

Next – it sparks a little feeling of danger in her. It will spike her adrenaline bit, enhancing that rush she’s feeling.

And finally – spicy food breaks down the social front women put on. She’s going to sniffle a bit, maybe even tear up.

And that’s going to get her a little more REAL with you.

If you can’t get past her pretense and nice girl act, you’re going to have a tough time getting her into bed.

Scratch that… you probably WON’T get her into bed if you can’t get her real with you. Period.

So use a nice spicy Mexican or Thai meal to break down the barriers.

Now, the last secret method for making her want you and crave you:

Make her like you by using texts to sneak into her mind…

I used to hate texting. I never wanted to send a text when it was just as easy to call her up and talk to her.

But then I realized that most women don’t answer their phones, so you have to go through her texts to get into her life.

And now you can use texting for almost every part of dating, from meeting her to getting her to sext you some hot photos, to showing up at your door late at night…

Here’s why texting women works so well:

First of all, texting engages a woman’s mind through her imagination.

She has to invent her own image of you to go along with the words. Which means that you can be naughty and playful without any risk of backlash.

And especially if you’re a shy guy.

Second, you can take your time to think up a reply.

It’s like a conversation machine where you don’t have to be “ON” all the time. You can read what she sends you, and then take your sweet time to send her a reply.

And the longer you take, the more she’ll be interested.

You can even keep a library of great texts like the ones I teach ready on your phone at a moment’s notice.

And finally, the best reason to text women into attraction is to make sure she’s thinking about you all the time.

You can’t be there all day long, and you can’t even control how often she checks her email, but you can send a text at key times of the day and plant yourself firmly in her mind whenever you want.

There is only one thing holding most guys back…

And that’s knowing what to say to get her to want you – and get her to TEXT YOU BACK.

Did you know that girls get HUNDREDS of text messages every week?

You have to be able to cut through all that NOISE to get her attention… The fact is that most guys simply wind up getting ignored, or simply forgotten and lost.

That’s why I created a guaranteed way to get through her digital bouncer: Her cell phone.

I spent about ten months testing out text messages to see what worked and what didn’t – and I pulled them together for you.

I call these “Black Ops” texts – and they are guaranteed to make her text you back.

You can go watch my free video e-class by clicking below:

3 Foolproof Messages That Make Her Text You Back… <==

It’s about 10 minutes of training that will give you the texts you need to get her to want you.

Go watch it now, because I’m moving this video to a paid members area in a few days…

Get the girl you want…

– Carlos Xuma

==> 3 Foolproof Messages That Make Her Text You Back…

The post How To Make Her Want You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

When I say “really” – I mean sexually attracted. Like – she wants to tackle you, throw you into bed, and have her wicked ways with you for eight hours straight…

Okay, maybe that’s over the top…

Look, maybe you’ve had the experience of going out on a date with a girl, and maybe you bought her flowers – chivalrous chap that you are.

But then you meet up with her, and she looks at you with a weird expression that says you must have done something wrong. And even if you don’t think you did, you feel like it.

And it SUCKS.

Maybe she gives you a polite “thanks” and takes them, but you can tell she isn’t as impressed as you thought.

Or maybe she tells you, “Thanks, but you’re trying a little hard.”

Which is closer to the truth.

Hey, man – you didn’t know!

And aren’t chicks supposed to like that crap?

Well, don’t get depressed, my friend. I’m going to guide you through a few of the ways that men can be more attractive to women – without trying hard.

Dating is confusing enough without knowing the “New Rules” for making a girl interested in you.

How to attract her – #1: Make her feel excited and ALIVE…

This is the feeling of being energized – and there are a lot of ways to accomplish it.

For one, there’s making her laugh. Laughter is one of those rare human experiences that accomplishes quite a bit – psychologically as well as physically.

Laughing wakes you up…

Laughter makes you relax…

And laughter has a nice side benefit of making you healthier at the same time.

However, the relaxation AND energizing effects are the ones that you should be most interested in.

Laughing also creates a sense of familiarity and bonding with people that has yet to be fully understood. But one thing’s for sure: It’s a shortcut into a woman’s emotional core – and one that you should use.

There are other ways of getting her feeling excitement, but laughter is the one that women consistently desire from men, time and time again.

Face it – Laughter is attractive.

And laughter will make her putty in your hands…

Attraction principle #2: Make her feel safe and secure…

Look, most guys don’t have a clue what it’s like for women out there these days. Or any days, for that matter.

Even though things are safer for most women (at least in developed countries) – you have to realize that girls are constantly aware that most men can overpower them at any given moment.

Which isn’t meant to be a downer, but it is true.

And it’s also not something guys have to worry about at all. Sexual assault is still mainly focused at females.

So you need to present yourself in as non-threatening a way as possible at all times.

Don’t ever make any jokes that deal with violence or issues that a woman might consider threatening. And there are a lot.

No, you don’t want to have to walk on eggshells all the time, but you do need to be sensitive that a girl is constantly on her guard against physical threats.

And she also knows that men are the most likely to commit them.

So be gentle, and be aware that she’s going to need to know “Are you safe?” before she’s going to let her guard down enough to feel attraction.

How to get her – #3: Make her feel free and uninhibited…

Girls are burdened by another kind of pressure. It’s the pressure to be the “angel” and the “good girl.”

She feels constrained and imprisoned in this image that society has of her.

What she really wants is to be free of those expectations and limitations so she can do what she wants to do. But she rarely gets that opportunity.

One of the best ways you can help her feel free is to make sure she never feels like you’re judging her, or evaluating her against this ideal.

Make it clear that you accept her just as she is. And you might even try hinting that you know she’s not this image, and she gets into trouble from time to time.

It’s also another way to get her to lower her guard around you.

Make her feel attraction – Tip #4: Ignore those “switches”…

There’s a lot of talk these days about “attraction triggers” and “switches” and stuff like that.

Do women really have psychological “triggers” that make her behave a certain way?

Well, not if you think about her as being like a robot that will just do your bidding. You can’t just reach into her skull and get her to dance for you.

The best way you can embrace this is to stop viewing her as like a remote control car you’re trying to steer, and instead create that safe and warm space where she can feel good about herself.

It’s not a place where she’s manipulated, it’s where she feels like she’s whole.

And happy to “switch” on her own attraction, once she knows you’re a good man that can be her ally, not a “frenemy.”

Attraction response – Tip #5: Remember that you are a whole, not a set of separate parts…

A lot of guys run around assuming that if they just act confident, learn this great pickup line, and wear these clothes – that this will make women attracted to him. Like a combination on a lock.

The truth is that girls see through pickup artist routines for this reason.

If a guy isn’t an integrated, whole man, his “techniques” start to look just like tricks. They don’t feel real, they feel like something he tacked on to make it work.

I was guilty of this when I first started learning what women want, and how to make girls feel attracted to me. When I stopped trying to act like a guy women want and started BEING that guy, I started to get dates.

So don’t behave like you’re just a Lego man made up of all these separate bricks. Instead, behave like a guy who’s all one being, and you’ll come across with a completely different vibe.

Get her feeling desire – #6: Don’t conceal and pretend – open up…

Ooh, this one is BIG.

A big mistake that a lot of guys make is to take various tricks and “attraction strategies” and then layer them on like makeup – to hide the insecure and often unhappy man that’s under it all.

I coached a guy up in Seattle many years ago about this very same thing. He had started reading about pickup artists, and the possibility that he could become this “sex god.”

He divorced his wife of 5 years, and then started this mission to become good at this skill of getting women into bed.

But here it was – 2 years later – and he wasn’t getting anywhere.

Why?

Because he was using all this stuff he’d filled his head with in order to cover up the guy he was secretly ashamed to be. And as a result, he just looked like a needy guy who just wanted sex.

For those of you who might not have guessed, this is not something any woman finds attractive. Unless she’s gullible, developmentally disabled, and maybe drunk.

You have to reveal yourself to women for them to trust you – because only a secure and strong man can show who he really is to women. It’s a kind of fearlessness that women understand is TRUE strength of character.

How to get her wanting to be with you – Tip #7: Recognize her one true motivator: Emotion

Girls choose one man over another not because he’s “hot” or he’s slick…

She chooses the man she will be with because of one reason only:

How he makes her FEEL.

Emotional engagement is the name of the game when it comes to building attraction with a girl you met.

I went to go see a Pixar movie in the theaters recently. I realized that there are maybe a half dozen computer animated movies released each year now, but Pixar movies are the best.

Why?

Because they get the one thing that matters most: Feelings and Emotions are what people want to experience.

Slick visuals are cool, but empty and cold. (I’m sure you could list at least a dozen movies like this, right? The last 3 Star Wars movies that George Lucas made come to my mind.)

That’s how women experience life – through their emotional lens. And if you can’t give her an attractive emotional experience, she’s going to ignore you and move on.

Kick the tires, and light the fires, man…

It’s the only way you’re going to get her turned on for you.

And if you’d like to learn more about how to make women feel this attraction to the point where they’ll BEG YOU to be your girlfriend, there’s a way to make that happen in HALF the time.

It’s my new program called Get a Girlfriend Fast, and you’ll skip the usual roadblocks and typical B.S. that slow down a lot of guys – or stop them dead in their tracks.

Learn the THREE DEADLY MISTAKES than other men make – avoid becoming a dating statistic by clicking HERE.

The post 7 Ways To Be Attractive To Girls appeared first on How To Win With Women.

If she starts out thinking of you as a friend, you’re doomed.

It is possible to break out of that friends zone, but you shouldn’t let yourself get put there in the first place.

It’s like having to start a football game with a penalty in the first few seconds. You’re going to be behind from the very beginning.

Why let that handicap mess up your game when you can avoid it?

So if you’ve got your eye on her, I want to help you get the girl.

And get her fully wanting you back.

Here are a few tips – a few ways to get the girl liking you right from the first time you meet her:

Win The Girl – Tip 1: Listen to her until she squirms

One of the things I do that works so well to make women respond to me sexually is that I do something that I call OVER-listening.

I ask a woman a question, and then I listen to her answer. REALLY listen.

If she hesitates or fumbles, I’m there to ask another question to help keep her going. At a certain point, she’ll reach critical mass and sustain the whole thing.

At some point, she’s going to get self-conscious about how much she’s been talking. She’ll say something like: “OK, and now I think I’m just talking too much.” (Nervous laughter.)

That’s when I just smile and nod. Because I’ll know that I’ve successfully OVER listened to her.

And then I’ll keep doing that over and over. Because each time, she’ll be convincing herself that there’s something different about our conversation.

“No one ever listens this much…”

“I wonder what he’s thinking about me?”

Self-consciousness can be a good thing, because that means she’s switched her attention – putting her focus on justifying the attention.

She’s going to think of you as the only guy that’s paid any attention to her like this.

She’ll still check in every so often to make sure she isn’t spending too much time talking, but you just reassure her and let her talk herself into you.

When You Want To Win The Girl – Tip 2: Win her friends

Now, this may not be intuitive for most guys, because once we’ve set our targets on a girl, the only thing we see is her from the vary beginning.

Unfortunately, if you stop paying attention to her friends, you’re going to lose a valuable opportunity.

You see, women are competitive. Not like guys are competitive, though.

Men like to compete head-to-head, and see who comes out the victor. It’s in our DNA.

Girls, on the other hand like to compete for men – and attention. BUT they never want to be seen as competing.

So when you make friends with her friends you’re killing two birds with one stone. You’re making them your allies – and you’ll want them on your side later on.

Because your girl will be asking them about what they think.

Not to mention that you don’t want her friends “slut shaming” her later. You want them as allies.

But you’ll also be making her friends into competition for the girl you want. Your girl will perceive any woman that likes you as potentially a threat to you.

Which means she’ll work harder now to win you over.

Just be careful you don’t make it too obvious on your part that you’re flirting or trying to win them over, because the girl you want might give you grief over it. Be subtle and smooth about it.

Get the girl – Tip 3: The Old Push – Pull

A lot of guys have experienced this from his side of talking to a girl.

If a woman seems like she’s sending “mixed messages,” or acting “hot & cold,” or there’s a strange push-me/pull-you dance going on, it’s not that she’s being weird or manipulative – at least not usually.

Women try to express interest from a DEFENSIVE posture.

Read that again – it’s important…

Women try to express sexual interest in men from a defensive position. This allows her to pay attention to her built-in threat detection mechanism.

This strange little contraption in her brain lets her avoid guys that push too hard.

And that’s what women do when you’re pushing too hard, they pull into their little turtle shell for safety. That’s when you feel her going a bit cold.

Maybe you really are a “nice” guy who won’t take advantage of her, but she doesn’t really have any way of knowing that when she first meets you.

She has to evaluate you firsthand – through her own senses.

The way to avoid this kind of frustrating dance with her is for YOU to do it first.

Yep, just like real dancing, girl’s are always more attracted to you when YOU take the lead. Instead of pushing until she retreats, you should be retreating on occasion to get her to reach out and pull you back in.

Which she will, if she’s at least partially interested in you.

If you want her to like you – Tip 4: Keep her beauty in the background

Here’s the deal – Most women from teenage years to her late maturity have been hit on quite a bit. A TON, in fact.

Most nice guys, on the other hand, are intimidated by beauty and won’t risk it.

So what she gets is a higher-than-normal percentage of losers constantly coming on to her and making her feel like a side of beef hung up in a meat (meet?) locker. She gets guys who CONSTANTLY tell her she’s beautiful, etc.

Mostly because these no-talent numbskulls really think they’re complimenting her by noting the obvious.

Most girls are mystified as to what men are really attracted to in her beyond her possession of a vagina, so she’s got a bit of a clueless streak when it comes to her own physical attractiveness.

The best thing you can do as a man is to reinforce her positive image of herself instead.

Ask her what she thinks her strongest quality is. Listen to her until it hurts, then listen some more.

(Remember? Over-listen.)

When she tells you, you remember this.

And then find a place later in the conversation to compliment her on it.

If it’s her compassion, then you get her to tell her about her friends, and I’ll guarantee there will be a story where she was compassionate.

Then you just say: “Wow – you’re right, you are a very compassionate person.”

When you use a girl’s appearance as the only yardstick to evaluate her worth, she’s going to feel objectified and shallow.

But if you focus your insights on those things that are not readily visible, you’ll have a much better chance of impressing her – and getting her to take you home.

If you want to get the girl, you gotta play it strategically – especially if you want to win her heart.

And remember: She lives in a competitive mating market with a limited number of attractive, desirable guys. These are the men that all the women want, and that women are going to compete against each other to win – and keep.

Guys don’t realize what kind of a scarcity market it is for girls out there. All she sees are flabby, dorky, socially clueless horn-dogs at every turn.

Most of these guys are trying pickup artist tricks on her that she can see coming a mile away.

If you want to get the girl – you need to grab her attention, and then keep it.

And if you want to know how to get her to feel primal sexual desire for you, you should know that every woman has a “Lust Response” built into her psychology.

It’s hard wired and completely automatic – IF you know how to trigger it…

Click here to learn how to get past her “logical” defenses, tap into her well of desire and make her utterly addicted to your very presence.

The post 4 Ways To Get The Girl – and Get Her To Like You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

You find this one girl, this one fantastic girl. You woo her – and you win her.

You make all these crazy good memories together.

You hump like insane rabbits every chance you get.

You find yourself thinking crazy thoughts, like maybe even … gasp … marrying this girl someday. Maybe popping out a baby or two.

And then something changes…

One day, she gets a little cold toward you.

She starts arguing with you over small things.

She isn’t as sweet as she once was…

Maybe the sex slows down – or stops…

You begin to wonder why you don’t see each other as much…

Maybe she even cheats on you with some guy. Maybe even someone you know who’s a total douche.

Your heart is broken, but you want to win her back.

One of the worst situations for a guy is being stuck with the task of winning back your girlfriend.

But it’s also the most painful, which means a guy is more likely to do something crazy and compromise his dignity to win his ex back.

My buddy Carl had this exact situation play out with his girl. He won the girl he dreamed about, the girl he’d had his eye on for over 10 years.

When the opportunity came, he grabbed her up…

Things were great… at the beginning.

But then she started acting weird and it started to unravel for Carl.

Within a few months, he was drunk, crying, and curled up on my bathroom floor for six hours, screaming the nastiest insults you can imagine to her on the cell phone he’d eventually stomp into a million pieces.

I don’t want that to EVER happen to you.

So right now I’m going to give you some realistic steps for getting your ex girlfriend to want you again.

The risk I’m taking on you is that, if I don’t tell you that JUST SAYING THIS ONE THING will win her heart, you’ll just go right back to Google and keep hoping that there’s something magical you can do.

Some “trick” that works “every time” for winning your girlfriend back.

Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. And more than once.

It freaking sucks to lose her – especially if it’s something you could have done to fix it before it got so bad that she broke up with you. You get irrational and impatient, thinking that if you can just do something in the next couple hours, before it’s too late, you can win your girl back.

And unfortunately, it’s that panic mode that is most likely to make you do something detrimental that will ruin your chances for good. So hold off…

And stay with me here. Don’t let that burning pain of losing your girlfriend keep you from reading the reality I’m about to reveal to you.

Let’s get going with: 3 Steps For Winning Back Your Girlfriend

How To Win Her Back – STEP 1: Reality Check

In study after study, they’ve shown that there is ONE thing a human being works hardest for in life.

Do you know what it is?

We work ten times harder to win something back that we lost than we do to keep it in the first place.

The reason is quite simple: We feel loss vividly.

But no guy sits around contemplating that they COULD lose their girl. That’s just too painful.

We don’t go there if we don’t have to.

Men are naturally wired to want smooth waters. We don’t need emotional turbulence, and we actively avoid it every chance we get.

So why would we ever imagine that this girl would leave us?

Well, we start to feel insecure when she shows the signals of being unhappy.

But the unfortunate part is that women are excellent at hiding and cloaking their feelings. And by the time you pick up on her vibe, she’s already started unplugging emotionally.

And then it’s a hundred times harder to win her back then.

But here’s the deal – just losing a girlfriend makes you want her back – even if the relationship completely SUCKED.

Yup, even if the girl was a complete bitch that only put out once every month, you’ll STILL wish you could get her back.

You see, the pain of loss makes you start thinking: “You know, it wasn’t THAT bad. She was mean to my mom, she liked to kick my dog, and she hated the movies I loved… but that’s okay.”

We start re-engineering our memories of the way things were to suit our needs. Suddenly a crap girlfriend seems more like our dream girl, as we selectively remember only the good stuff about her.

So you need to do a REALITY CHECK…

Take out a piece of paper – yes, you can open up a text document on your computer or tablet, too – and really start to inventory what was good and bad with your ex girlfriend – before you decide you want to win her back.

Just draw a line down the middle, and put the good stuff on the left side, and the stuff that you didn’t like on the right. You might even want to use a highlighter and mark the stuff that was particularly good or bad for the important stuff.

Bottom line: Unless the good outweighs the bad by AT LEAST 2 to 1, it’s probably not worth trying to win that girlfriend back.

Just let her go poison some other guy’s life, and keep that spot open for a girl who not only WANTS the position, she’s going to appreciate you the way you want.

Oh, I’ll warn you that if you find a theme of disrespect for you in the “BAD” side of your list, you don’t even need to tally it up.

Just ignore the good side and recognize that a woman who disrespects you is the worst kind of partner in the world. Ask any divorced guy and he’ll tell you that.

Remember my friend Carl?

He found the girl he’d had his eye on for 10 years and finally won over was actually a slut who had been seeing 3 other guys the whole time they were dating.

And the real insult?

She only let Carl have sex with her two times the whole 4 months they were dating. That was it.

It’s a harsh lesson to learn, but sometimes you gotta know that she’s not good enough for you to move on. That you’re better off without her.

But let’s say you haven’t lived out that horror story – and this girl is someone worth keeping. Hey, maybe YOU were the one to screw it up.

That brings us to:

Get Your Girlfriend Back – STEP 2: Find the Fix

A lot of guys go crawling back to a girl that they messed up with, and all he’s got are lame promises about how he’s going to “do better” and “it won’t happen again” – when he doesn’t really even know what the problem was.

Do you have a clear understanding of why she broke up with you? Or, if it’s the other way around – why you broke up with her?

This is the most vital intel you can have because there is a chance that she broke up with you out of frustration – and she did it to kick you in the butt.

And for her to try again, she’s going to need to hear how you’re planning to fix whatever broke before.

If you know that she was unhappy with how much you expressed your feelings when you were together, now is the time to come up with a good plan for changing that for her.

Because… she’s going to ask – or at the very least want to know what you’re going to do to make it different this time.

That’s the “logical” part of her brain that’s holding her emotional brain from just jumping back into your arms. So you have to address it.

The good news is that it’s pretty simple. Just take whatever her complaint is and come up with a workaround.

If you didn’t spend enough time together, find a way to carve out a few extra minutes here and there to make her happy.

If you hung out with your friends too much for her taste… well, don’t ditch your friends. Just increase the time you two get to meet up so that she feels like she’s getting a bigger share.

Yup, pretty much every issue she has with you could probably be solved with “more time.” That’s one of the secret fixes that you can use when the time comes to tell her how “this time is going to be different…”

(Secret Tip: You don’t really need to spend more time with her – you just have to make her FEEL like you’re spending more time with each other.)

Which leads us to the third step in the proces…

Winning Your Girlfriend Back – STEP 3: Make Your Play.

Look, I know there are a lot of “gurus” out there who tell you that you should wait for 6 weeks before you contact her again after the breakup. Because you have to respect her distance, and you have to let her really miss you.

The problem with that strategy is that she’ll probably just use the time to find another guy and get over you faster.

Yeah, I cringed, too. It’s too horrible to imagine, so let’s not do that. It’s not an option.

The best thing you can do is to come back quickly with your solution from step 2 and present it.

You simply wait 3-4 days (not too long, but you do want her to start missing you.) Let her heart ache a bit, and then you swoop back in.

What you do is:

– Text her this on a weeknight you know she’s probably not too busy: “Hey, I had a realization about us… thought you might like to know”

That text is left sounding kind of unfinished on purpose. You have to get her curious enough that she can’t resist responding.

When she does, move on to:

– Text her this: “Got 5 mins for quick call? I’d rather tell you in person…”

This will ease her mind. She’ll be okay with a call, because that’s not very threatening.

When she agrees:

– Call her.

Start out by telling her how she was right about you. Blah Blah.

You gotta start out by validating her feelings, or she won’t listen to anything you have to say. Do it without sounding like you’re being sarcastic, or that you’re not sincere.

Yeah, sometimes you gotta act a bit.

Finally…

– Tell her your plan.

Reveal your solution to her like this:

“Hey, I realize how there were mistakes. I realize you might not want to recapture the romance we had again, but I wanted to see if you think the solution I came up with is what you were looking for.”

Then, wrap it up: “So anyway, that’s it. Thanks for letting me bend your ear. I gotta get going.”

Yeah, that’s it.

I know, I know. You’re saying, “But wait, I didn’t ask her to get back together with me!”

That’s the point. We are opening the door and inviting her in, without putting pressure on her.

If you ask her, she’ll feel put on the spot – which makes her feel obligated to give you an answer right there and then. She may feel like she needs to stick to her guns.

But this way I just gave you, you can safely show her that you’re still that guy she wants to bang, and she has an invitation to come back.

If she asks you why you’re telling her this, you just say, “Look, I just wanted to show you that I realized what needed to be fixed. And that I’ve grown. I wanted to thank you for that.”

Then you can let her off the phone and let her brain stew on the possibility for a while. She’ll be talking herself into it while you wait, and you won’t have to do a thing.

You’ll be hearing from her in no time at all – if she’s interested, she’ll let you know.

If she starts talking about “missing you,” it’s pretty much assured that she’s just looking for the right excuse to get back together.

Let’s face it – if she’s gone for good, NOTHING you say will really matter. But THIS strategy will give you the absolute best chance to turn it around.

Because there really is no “guaranteed” way to make her take you back. There is no grand romantic gesture you can make – like standing outside her window playing Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” from your boombox.

Sometimes you just gotta do your best… and let the chips fall where they may.

And there you go… a simple 3 step method that will get her back into your arms.

If you want a complete strategy that you can use to get a girl, and KEEP her – so you never have to worry about having to win your girlfriend back ever again…

Take a look at THIS:
http://www.alphaconfidence.com/aff/lustdesire

The secret is to get her so obsessed, so infatuated from the start that she’ll always want you. And never hold anything back!

http://www.alphaconfidence.com/aff/lustdesire

The post 3 Steps To Winning Back Your Girlfriend appeared first on How To Win With Women.

If you suspect your own body is betraying you, how confident can you feel?

That’s why you need to know the secrets to decipher body language and know what signals are good – and which ones will mislead you.

Most of the people that I coach on body language are mostly interested in flirting signals of the opposite sex. Most body language signals and clues are fairly obvious if you spend any time observing people.

However, the more subtle indications of interest and attraction can be missed, so we’ll go through a few of the most important body language signals you can read.

What’s her body telling you? Body Language Signal 1: Emphasis

Men and women emphasize different aspects with body language.

Men try to appear taller, usually by sucking in their gut, and straightening up their spine.

Guys also try to puff up their chests. In general, guys try to highlight their muscles and stature.

On the other side, women emphasize their cleavage as much as possible.

Her chest is also a large part of her sexual attraction to men, so that’s why women work so hard to appear busty.

Everything from padded bras to fake boobs are fair game.

Women also try to draw attention to their hair, which is another primal indicator of femininity. They usually will touch their hair – finger-combing it – as well as touching and straightening it out.

She’ll also flip her hair over her shoulder to get attention. This move also serves to emphasize her face and profile – as well as her neck.

Women will frequently expose their neck – a primal demonstration of vulnerability – and she will cross her legs to emphasize her hips.

Not many guys realize that hips are a primal mating trigger that indicates a woman’s fertility.

What are her eyes saying to you? Body Language Sign 2: Read her gaze.

There’s a very predictable pattern when a girls makes eye contact with a guy she likes.

First, she makes eye contact with him – directly. Usually this lasts no longer than a second or so, but just long enough that he should know she was looking right at him.

Then, after he engages in conversation, she will go through a coy dance of eye contact. She will match his gaze, look from eye to eye, then at his lips, then looking down and away from him.

The only risk here is that men are often going to misinterpret this situation in one of two ways:

– He misreads her smile and gaze as being flirtatious, instead of friendly. Hey, we’re guys – we want to believe that sex is a motivator, right?

– He misreads her smile and gaze as being friendly when it was really flirtatious. Let’s face it, most women don’t understand how thick some guys are. And many women try and be too subtle with their signals.

The Other Parts Of Her Sexual Display – Body Language Signal 3: Watch her body.

Related to the neck are other areas of vulnerability – and emphasis – that you should watch for.

There are areas of physical vulnerability that a girl will expose, such as her neck (which I’ve already mentioned), her wrists, and throat. Any of these areas could be used against a person, so we tend to protect those zones.

The wrist flash is a big in indication of interest.

You should also watch out for her putting her hand behind her hair on the back of her neck. This is her way of stimulating a very erotic zone.

You may have heard that girls like to have their hair pulled – and especially during sex.

So what she does is manually stimulates the parts of her body that are “calling out” during your conversation.

Just keep in mind that you’ve really got to get her heavily aroused during conversation to get her to do this.

Still, it’s a valuable body language signal to watch out for.

The Big Hit – Body language attraction signal 4: Watch out for her love-taps.

At a minimum, when a woman touches you in ANY way, it indicates she’s at least comfortable with you. You can’t be sure she’s actually sexually interested in you until she gives you what I call a “love tap.”

A woman will playfully hit you on the arm in some way when she’s feeling the challenge of attraction.

This is a good sign, especially if you’re teasing her, she hits you, and then says, “Stop!” in a playful way.

Another key here is to simply compare the amount of “touch time” she gives to you versus other men in the group. If you’re getting at least the same, you’re doing good. If you’re getting more, you’re doing better.

Remember – when a woman is feeling frustrated, she will act out physically.

And make no mistake: Frustration is a GOOD thing to make her feel.

Otherwise, you’ll wind up with neutral energy.

What about giving off the right body language?

This is just as important as reading her body language – and gives you twice the power that other people have who aren’t aware of how seductive body language works.

You have to know how to demonstrate confident, sexually dominant body language to women as well.

If you rely on your words alone, you’re going to lose a lot of the ability to attract a girl. Most guys make this mistake when they use pickup lines and other routines that just don’t work for them.

It’s not that the words don’t work – it’s that you need an attitude that matches the words. And 90% of your attitude is in your body language and vocal tone.

Let me share some tips on how to radiate confident body language to her, and how to guarantee a positive response.

Confident Body Language Signal: Touching her

This one is tricky because most guys don’t have a refined sense of how to touch a woman correctly. They tend towards over touching, which comes across as groping and fondling.

This happens mostly because guys are drawn to the images of women we see, and we get more and more rabid about feeling what we’re seeing.

Women are more touchy/feely by nature, and therefore tend to get a lot more of their physical needs met.

Men suppress their needs for physical contact, and as a result we go into starvation mode.

One way you can avoid this problem is by getting regular massages. I prefer Thai massages because they really go deep and leave me feeling wonderfully depleted and relaxed after it’s over.

Oh, and I usually have them done by cute Thai girls…but that’s just icing on the cake.

Another confident Body Language Signal: Fidgetation.

When a girl gets sexually flustered, or if she starts to feel attraction and has nowhere to put that eager energy, she will start to fidget. She has to act out the energy, and she’ll start to self-soothe.

Some of the signs are:

– Twirling her hair

– Playing with her drink or straw

– Playing with her bracelets or jewelry

Now, this fidgeting is usually accompanied by a smiling, cheery attitude. If she’s doing this kind of fidgeting, but you get a distinct pissy vibe, she could just be sick of the conversation.

So you need to be able to pick up on her aura of interest.

Squirming and fidgeting is good in a woman, but bad in a guy.

If you’re doing this, STOP. It’s unattractive.

You should have a very calm, smooth way of moving when you’re around a girl.

This includes:

– No fast motions – or jerky, spastic movements

– No darting eyes. Keep them soft and constant.

– No talking like you’re on crystal meth. Slow down.

– Keep your back straight

And the last Body language indication you should broadcast is: Stay Open!

Most guys don’t keep their body language open when they’re talking to girls. They fold their arms in front of their chest, or they hold up a drink between him and her.

This is a subconscious barrier that projects a defensive posture.

Guess what? You don’t need it.

One of the best things you can do to practice confident body language is to practice NOT putting your hands anywhere. Just let them hang at your sides.

Try it now. Just stand up, and let your hands hang down naturally.

I’ll bet you get a wave of: “This feels weird…”

That’s okay, keep them where they are. Fight the urge to let your arms cross, or stick your hands in your pockets, or clasp them in front or behind you.

You’ll get used to it. It’s only your body telling you (falsely) that you’re unprotected.

But it’s a great posture of security and self-confidence to NOT have to put your hands or arms somewhere.

As you can see, projecting confident body language is a priority for you. And it will help for you to be able to read her body language as well.

The combination of BOTH these skills is deadly when it comes to attracting girls.

If you want to create attraction with women, you’ll need to develop a good control of your body language.

This tells women you’ve got your act together and you’re in control of your life. That’s the kind of Alpha Male energy they crave – it’s like Chick Crack that women can’t get enough of.

Now you’re armed and dangerous…

And if you want even more tips on how to be a badass with your body language, I’ve got something you’ll definitely want to see:

http://www.carlosxuma.com/body-language/understand-body-language.php

The post 6 Body Language Confidence Signals – How To Create Attraction With Girls appeared first on How To Win With Women.

When it comes to getting laid, guys want the step-by-step blueprint to go from talking to her to getting her to come home with him.

And we don’t want the douchebag method either. You’ve probably seen articles where a douchey looking guy tells you he can get you laid.

Usually after he’s yelled “YO! Player! F***!” at you with his badly shaved face and haircut. Oh, and he’ll usually have a really ridiculous tattoo.

Well, I’m here to help you avoid that kind of advice – and get the good advice that will really help you.

So let’s tackle the big elephant in the room right off the bat…

Do you want to get laid?

Here’s the deal: A lot of guys will deny they want to get laid.

Mostly NICE GUYS.

I should know – I did this all the time.

I repressed my natural male sex drive when I was with women, denying to them (and myself) that I really wanted to have sex.

But after I realized that I was just fooling myself, that I was hiding my sexual needs in an attempt to appear more “politically correct,” I dropped that act.

I also realized that I acted like that in a desperate hope to appeal to what women seemed to want.

What I didn’t realize is that women SAY one thing and do another – and the only way to figure out how to get laid was to watch and see what REALLY worked with women.

So let’s jump right in with…

Get Laid Tip #1: Be attractive.

Now, I know you’re going to think, “Carlos- does that mean I have to be hot to get women???”

NO. It does not mean you have to look like an underwear model or movie star.

But it does mean that you need to maximize your appearance!

Here are some things that will kill your chances of getting laid:

– Poor fashion & style

Yeah, wearing fluffy slippers and pajamas to parties might seem like an innovative way to get attention, but it’s not the way you want to go.

Just get a decent pair of shoes, some fitted jeans, a nice shirt, and maybe a fashionable jacket.

Hell, I got laid all the time just by wearing a sportcoat.

That’s timeless and always looks good. Even with freakin’ jeans!

– Poor grooming

Some guys like their lumberjack hipster beards. I get it.

But which is more important – YOU liking your clever beard, or HER liking it?

I’m sure there are some “gurus” out there that would tell you that you need to like yourself first – and sure, that’s true – but not completely accurate.

As the saying goes, do what works – not what you want to do.

And I’ll tell you right off the bat that those long scruffy beards are about as attractive to a woman as bathing in a septic tank.

Some other grooming areas are your fingernails and toenails, your haircut, your skin. You know, the basics that tell women you’re a grown-up in control of your life.

– Poor odor control

Yes, this kinda goes without saying: You need to smell good.

Smell is a primal trigger in human beings, and unless you smell good – you smell bad by default.

I’m not saying you have to soak yourself in $200 cologne every night, but make sure you’re taking care of the essentials:

1) A little cologne or a tasteful aftershave. Get a woman to give you her opinion on which scents turn her on.

2) Underarms/Body – make sure you don’t smell like you’ve been working in a hot, greasy kitchen all day. Even if you do work in a kitchen.

3) Oh, and don’t forget your teeth and breath. Keep good oral hygiene.

Let’s move on to another sensitive topic:

Tip #2: Avoid the whole issue of money

It’s funny how often money comes up on a date. If you want to buy her a drink – costs money.

If you want to buy her food – more money.

Take a cab? Money.

Get in that club? Money.

But there are a lot of things you can do with her that don’t cost money. And you’ll want to use those for your first few meet-ups with a girl.

A lot of guys put them in situations where they have to spend money they don’t have, then they feel resentful of her when he has to part with his hard earned cash.

OR – even worse – he tries to split the cost of things with her, which just turns her right off.

Instead, avoid those situations, and try to keep it to your budget so:

1) You don’t have to feel like a Scrooge

2) She doesn’t have to think you’re a cheapskate

3) You don’t have to feel wallet-raped every time you go on a date with a girl

Just don’t make yourself LOOK like you’re trying to avoid spending money like a cheap bastard. Even if that’s what you are. (Hell, I am.)

Don’t ask a girl to meet you at the bookstore at 9:00 on a Saturday night. That’s going to look ridiculous.

Instead, find a funky little dive bar that’s fun. Call it your hang-out, and ask her to meet you there for drinks.

Keep it on a budget without looking like a miser.

Tip #3: Stop being so effing NICE.

This is an obvious fact: The nicer you are, the less chance you’ll have with a girl.

Of course, if you’re a complete dick, you’ll also ruin your chances with a girl.

The key to getting laid is finding that middle ground where you’re challenging her a bit, but also not just insulting her.

It’s a balancing act, and it’s the key to getting a woman to really want to get you into bed. No B.S.

Tip #4: Be willing to “Dance.”

This one took me forever to grasp, but once I did, it made a HUGE difference in how well I did with women.

I used to be that guy who would refuse to dance at clubs on general principle. I would stubbornly hold my beer close to my chest, my other hand in my pocket, trying to look cool.

I’d turn my nose up in scorn at the guys that were out there, because I was so much cooler than them.

Actually, I was really just being a self-righteous turd.

And I wasn’t admitting the most important part of why I was REALLY not going out to dance:

I was afraid. Afraid of looking like a dork because I just didn’t really have a clue how to dance.

And I was also just not comfortable with myself when it came right down to it. So my refusal to dance was a statement of ME more than a condemnation of others, when it comes right down to it.

We tend to hate the things in others that highlight the fault in ourselves.

So don’t make the mistake I did. Get out there and dance.

It’s not just advice on getting laid, it’s a great philosophy of life – like, “Smell the roses.”

There’s no lack of talent you could have on the dancefloor that I couldn’t completely blow away with my own goofy moves, trust me. And definitely nothing you couldn’t get a few lessons on and be right as rain.

And now, probably the most important tip I can give you on how to sleep with girls:

Tip #5: Know how to hold a conversation.

Look, I get how it can be for awkward guys. I used to be one of them.

I’m not being self-deprecating here to make you like me…I really sucked at talking to people when I was in my 20s.

Part of my narcissism and my own dumbass lack of self confidence, but I didn’t understand even the basics of talking to people, such as:

– Ask questions. People want to know you have an interest in them.

– Listen to what they have to say to you when they answer your questions.

I never fully realized how important listening was until I had a girlfriend who never even pretended to be interested in me. It was the most lonely I’ve ever been in a relationship.

I realized just how isolating it feels to have someone that’s supposed to care about you – and even SAID she cared about me – not give me the slightest hint that she really did.

I fell into a depression, thinking there was something wrong with me. Then I got mad at our relationship.

I was disillusioned about having a girlfriend at all.

Sure I was getting laid, but it was hollow and dehumanizing to bang this girl and feel like she didn’t even register that I was there.

Listening is the easiest thing in the world to do… and it seems to be the hardest, if you watch most conversations today.

People really do think listening is just waiting for your turn to speak.

The real secret to listening well is to not have to “prove yourself” to her in conversation.

If you’re not always trying to impress her, you can open yourself to hearing what she’s saying.

Look, hate to tell you this, but even if everything she’s talking about is boring you to tears, you still have to find a way to hear her.

I make it a point to dig in and find something really intimate out about someone – especially if their conversation is a little on the dull side. It gives me something to do and keeps me challenged.

But most people do have something interesting going on, if only we open our ears to hear it.

The key to getting laid isn’t in tricking a girl into bed.

It’s also not about deceiving her so you can sneak your way into bed with her either.

The real secret to getting laid is to simply make yourself genuine enough that she can feel SAFE around you.

Strangely enough, this is something that most men can’t pull off – which is why there are so many guys out there not getting laid.

There’s an attitude that gets guys laid like crazy. It’s an attitude that women look for when they decide if they’re going to sleep with you.

This attitude triggers a woman’s Lust Response.

The best part is that this attitude is something that any guy can discover and use for himself. It’s like capturing lightning in a bottle – and channeling the power right into you.

If you want to discover this secret formula for yourself, go on over to:

http://www.alphaconfidence.com/aff/lustdesire

Date out of your league…

– Carlos Xuma

The post How To Get Laid appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I’m going to cover the essential points of the date, and give you dozens of dating advice tips and strategies you can use. Once you have a solid game in place, your dates will practically run on auto-pilot.

Keep in mind that dating and attracting a woman is easy when you have a plan to follow, and these strategies can form the framework of your success.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Don’t set up a date around lunch hours as much as possible. In fact, first dates should be AFTER 6-7 PM – anything earlier than that could land you in the Friend Zone.

It simply takes more work to create a romantic atmosphere before sundown. Plus, night dates create a better opportunity for her to crash at your place (and all that implies).

The women you’re after (i.e. high value ladies) probably have a full schedule towards the end of the week. Since most of us hate Mondays and the back-to-the-grind stress that it creates, avoid this day as well.

That said, you’ll have to set up a date when she won’t be crazy busy and have a hundred things on her mind. So women who are generally on a “regular” schedule prefer Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday over the other days of the week.

As for Saturday, I refer to that as “sacred date day.”

This is the day that every guy knows is the most significant night to go out with a woman. It says “I’m courting you” and “This could be serious.”

It also indicates that you’ve got no other women (probably) in your life. So remember that the day you choose also sends a message.

And it’s one she will hear loud and clear.

When I list Friday and Saturday last, it’s because they’re for a SPECIAL girl, not just any girl. You should make those your days of last resort.

Ideally, if you’re not in a long-term relationship, these are the nights you’re going out to meet new women.

The ideal date should be a 3-hour block consisting of several locations. Hopping from place to place gives you more stuff to do and keeps things fresh.

So that means you need to kick it off between 7PM to 9PM to allow enough time to fit everything into your date without losing momentum. It’s important to remember that this approach is meant to make her relaxed by the time she’s supposed to cut loose with you.

The other reason why daytime dates don’t really feel like dates is because she’ll be worn out by the time she heads back to her place. (Not the way to end things).

You need to build your timetable in a way that ends the night on a high note. Remember the first rule of showbiz: “Always leave them wanting more.”

If your date hits that high note (i.e. when her energy levels are the highest) around 10-11 PM, you’re golden. You’ll be wrapping up things by that time, but she’ll feel sad that the night is ending.

And that’s EXACTLY what you want her to feel: the pain of your absence.

WHAT NOT TO DO ON THE FIRST DATE

Skip movie night if you’re dating someone new. You can watch movies together at home on your 4th or 5th steady date after you’ve started sleeping together, but NOT before then.

For the first date, sitting in front of a screen for a couple of hours is the worst way to go. There’s no interaction whatsoever, which means you’ll learn nothing about her during that time.

And forget about physical contact – any touching at the movies will just make it weird.

That being said, if things start to suck for you and you don’t want to just end the date, go catch a movie you’ve been dying to see. Turn the night into something cool instead of being miserable.

Another DON’T: Dinner dates.

They’re unoriginal and lack creative imagination. Like a movie date, there’s practically zero chance of touching her without making it awkward.

Here’s another factor to consider – she probably won’t feel at ease having to put food in her mouth or sharing her food preferences with a practical stranger.

Besides, you’ll want to sidestep the typical “dance” when the bill comes. (Which, if you’re forced into this situation, YOU pay. Sorry, man.)

WHERE TO GO:

Any place that naturally encourages a lot of interaction and physical contact between you two should be on your list. It’s even better if the venue serves cocktails, beer, wine and the like.

So you should take her to dance classes, stand-up comedy bars, art shows, funky shopping venues where you can walk around and buy quirky stuff, music-related festivals, and so on.

Logistics are crucial, too. You’ll want to find places and activities that are close to either her place or yours.

These days, it’s easy to use Google or any number of location-based searches to research a good venue.

You should have about 4 options to pick from that are a short (5-10 minute) drive from her place. You should have about 5 or more in your local area.

The best options are walking distance, of course. But not everyone has the ease and simplicity of living in San Francisco or other major cities where everything is this close.

Once you’ve got a few, you’ll want to plan how to string them together.

Remember what I said about the 3-hour block. Ideally, fitting in three different activities would be perfect.

That gives you an hour to dedicate to each activity, and that keeps the date from getting stale.

One of the interesting things that bonds humans together is the amount of shared experience we have. People who have been through a lot together have a very tight bond – tighter than initial chemistry, in fact.

So by having a few “mini-dates” together, you’ll also be creating that intimacy with her.

To create a good date, you’ll want to be active and doing a lot of things. Don’t make it a mad rush from one to the next, but keep her moving.

Grabbing a couple drinks, heading over to the bowling ally or pool hall, and then some dancing. That right there is a map for excitement for her.

The way we perceive time is relative, and you can use this to your advantage. Compressing positive experiences into your 3-hour block will make her feel like she’s done so much with you.

The basic idea here is to create lot of good memories – and the emotions that come with them – in a single date.

Here are some more examples of great first date dates:

– Get some Gelato

– Grab some coffee

– Go check out that weird-looking art sculpture sitting outside the office downtown

– Swing or Salsa class (OR Hip-Hop, Zumba and whatever else you’re comfortable with)

– Comedy improv class (just make sure she’s a relaxed, cool chick first who seems up for it)

– One of those interactive “escape the room” or “murder mystery” venues where you search for clues with her and put your heads together

– Dancing at a small club

– Finish up with drinks at your apartment next door

Yes, it’s a good idea to finish the activities near your place or hers so it can “conveniently” end there.

HOW TO BEHAVE ON THE DATE:

You should be interacting with your date throughout the date. That means doing stuff you both participate in and neither one of you can hang back and get lazy.

You’ll want to be able to walk around and have many opportunities to touch.

As this is your place to shine, you’ll need to take the role of leader during the date. She has to know you’re a take-charge kind of guy.

Don’t act like you need her approval, and you should definitely never ask her what she’d like to do. You already have that plan.

Women sleep with guys who have a plan to do just that. She wants to be swept away.

By the way, beware the women who struggle for control, or get overly competitive on dates. These are NOT women you want to be with.

A woman should have a soft feminine presence that goes with the energy, not struggles for dominance.

If she can’t let you lead, you’ll never get where you want to go. Don’t wind up being her bitch.

Don’t fall for the feminist propaganda that would have you believing anything else.

The interaction should go along the lines of:

“There’s this cool new place that has shawarmas everyone’s raving about, let’s check it out…”

OR

“Hey, let’s check out that video arcade. I haven’t played in ages, but I bet I can still beat you at pinball!”

OR

“Let’s check out the Exploratorium, they have a trippy exhibit on how to grow plants on Mars…”

You get the idea…

WHAT TO TALK ABOUT ON THE FIRST DATE:

You want your conversation with her to move quickly out of small talk and into deep and personal territory. Dig in and find out about her life on a very real level.

Ask her about what’s important to her, what are her values? Find out about her dreams, what she’s passionate about, her past and outlook on the future, and what things she enjoys most in life.

Keep the subject away from things that are dark or negative in any way, and make sure you don’t let her dwell in that zone if she gets suddenly melancholy. Remember, you’re the leader, and you’re also the guy who takes her away from negative emotions.

Women often can’t do this themselves, so you must be there to help her turn her mood into something productive for the date.

You’ll want to avoid having the first date – or any date, really – turn into a kind of interrogation with question after question.

Instead, you can bring the information out of her by talking about your own story and passions first, then encourage her to share. Lead by example.

IS SHE INTO YOU?

Here are a few tips for you to gauge a woman’s level of interest during the date. You should be looking for some hints that things are working in a positive direction.

Overall, you can generally trust your gut. If it feels like she’s having fun and into the date, she is.

If you’re struggling to figure out if she’s interested, you have to act as though she isn’t and step up your game.

Signs To Watch Out For:

– Sometimes you’ll notice her smiling and laughing a lot more than she really needs to. That’s a good indication she’s feeling attracted and dropping hints for your benefit.

– Is she fidgeting with her hair or doing the “hair flip”? That’s positive body language right there.

– She’s in your “personal bubble.” If a woman likes you, she’ll keep closer to you physically to raise the level of attraction. She’s also doing this to subconsciously make you touch her without spelling it out for you.

– When she gives you that “look”: This is closely related to smiling and laughing. If you find her locking eyes with you, long enough to almost make you want to look away, chances are she’s feeling attraction. This is especially true if she looks at you when neither of you are talking.

– She acts like you’re the only guy in the room. This can be very subtle, and subjective as well. You’re looking for behaviors which show that you have her full attention. For instance, if you’re at a bar and her girlfriends can’t pry her away from you, that’s a good sign.

If a girl isn’t into you, she’ll fall into her familiar patterns of interaction with her friends, because that’s the path of least resistance. So, you know you’re doing well if she acts like they don’t exist.

I’ve given you a basic structure for your first date – or first dates – with a woman.

You want to stick to this plan as much as possible, and the reason is simple: If you need to tweak the plan at all, you have to have a baseline plan to work from.

Otherwise, you’ll be all over the place with your results and won’t know where the problem is.

And if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your game, and you’d like to know how to date out of your league – date hotter women – I suggest you go here: http://www.carlosxuma.com/lust

I’ll share my most powerful dating tactics for guys…

Finally, date hotter women…

The post How To Attract Women – First Date Ideas That Rock appeared first on How To Win With Women.

In fact, if your phone game is tight enough, you can pretty much skip straight to sex without ever having to hang out with her.

One of the biggest problems I hear about from guys is that they can’t text a woman and get a response from her. It’s almost as if she gets off on reading the texts, but never responding.

Check out this email from a guy who had this problem:
______________________
Hey, Carlos –

I was out last week at a few bars, and I met this really cool chick. We were into the same music, and she even liked some of the geeky shows I like on cable.

So I got her number, and I waited until the next day to text her. I just sent her a quick message:

“Hey, what’s up… I’m heading to Steamy’s later… wanna meet me?”

A few minutes go by, and I see on my iPhone that she got my text message (it showed as delivered) and then those little dots showed up that tell you that she’s typing back.

And then they disappeared…!
No response.

And I waited for about an hour before I just gave up on her responding.

I don’t know what it is these days with women and texting, but it’s really irritating to go through all that effort, and then find out she’s one of those flakey bitches.

Why is it so hard to meet women these days?

Texting girls is a pain in the butt.

It seems like girls are delegating all connection with guys over to their phones, and then they don’t reply to texts, or calls…

How do you get their attention?

How do you text a girl you like?

– Nils in Stuttgart, DE

______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

I can totally relate to your frustration, Nils.

Women do use their phones like a digital personal assistant…

And a bouncer!

So it’s critical that you know how to break through the wall of ‘boring’ she has to deal with each day. Message after message of drivel that basically shows only one of three things about his personality:

1) The guy didn’t put any thought into the text at all. Which is a recipe for her ignoring texts.

He just sent out the first thing that came to his head.

“Yo…”

“Whassup…”

“How are you doing?”

Think about how excited a hot girl is going to be to answer that.

Not at all.

In fact she’s waiting to be *entertained* by guys, not interviewed. So you have to be ready to give better than you expect to get.

Hang with me and I’ll explain how you can overcome that with some easy canned texts you can use anytime.

Now the other thing that most guy’s messages show is that…

2) He’s clueless and boring.

Most guys actually aren’t actually boring (some are clueless). Usually it’s his fear of saying anything that might ruin it for him that pushes him into sending generic, conversational texts that make her yawn.

After all, you don’t want to lose all this progress because you risked it all on a weird text message, right?

So you send some bland conversational stuff that isn’t interesting. But – you figure – at least you’re connecting with her.

HINT: You’re not actually connecting.

What usually happens is that the interaction turns into a back and forth about stuff that sounds like Small Talk From Hell. She realizes that you’re probably better off in the friend zone as a result.

For example:

HIM: Hey, you ever go to that new gym on 9th?

HER: Yeah, it’s crazy busy, but I love the machines…

HIM: Me too! I’m a big fan of the Ellipticals with the stirrups to hold your feet in

HER: Yeah…

HIM: So you ever do the classes there? My friend says they’re great if you want something different in your workout…

HER: Not yet…

HIM: Well, the other thing about that gym is that they…

YAAAAAAWWWNNNNNNN….

You get the point, right?

You keep bantering about the same topic, it’s going to get old really fast.

Texting is not the place to hold a conversation. It’s a place to create and spark attraction with her as fast as possible.

Oh, and the last thing that most guys show in their texts is that:

3) He’s crude, unsophisticated, and an oaf.

He basically adjusted his weiner, and thought to himself – “Hey, maybe she’d like a picture of it.”

Nope. That happens … um, never.

You’d think from the epidemic of dick pictures floating around out there that this was a sound strategy, but it’s not. In fact, women don’t find dicks (erect or not) attractive.

(Honestly, I’m not sure if I think my own is all that good looking…)

And the crude comments and sexual hints don’t usually make women all that hot either.

So in order to really get through, you have to know how to navigate the tricky minefield of good texting protocol.

What I’m going to do is share 3 Texting tips you can use to get through to a woman.

If you’re going to try to flirt with a girl over text, you need to know what to say – and how to say it.

So let’s dig in with the first tip:

Tip 1: When you text her, play both sides of the blade.

Most guys are either too serious with their texts, or they fumble it when they try to send a funny text.

I call this the “blade” of texting girls, because there’s a fine edge between being serious to the point of boring and being funny to the point of being a douche.

So the best strategy is to send a text that balances a bit of both.

If you have to ask her a serious question, you can always offset it with a bit of humor. And if you know you need to send something a bit funny, you can inject a bit of serious to keep it interesting.

For example, if she wants to know when and where you’re meeting up with her:

HER: Hey, where we meeting up? n’ what time?

YOU: I’m thinking the Bobcat Lounge on Folkston. I get off the stripper pole at 7:30 and I have to collect my tips, so – 8:00?

You see what I did there? I took an otherwise boring “logistical” text and spiced it up with something fun. And I’m fully prepared to recall that joke again later to get some more mileage from it.

Tip 2: When you text, text irregularly

Again, most guys are so excited to get a text from a woman that they pounce on it and look like they’re Mr. Eager Guy.

I get it, you haven’t had much action in a while, and this texting feels really novel and interesting. Who could blame you?

But you can’t act like a thirsty man in the desert, no matter how parched you may feel.

When she texts you, step back and take a breath. Rejoice a little that you got a response and bask in it for a while.

Then wait a few more minutes… what’s the rush?

After all, when the roles are reversed, don’t you find yourself on pins and needles wondering “When am I going to get a reply?”

Don’t deny her the delicious fun of anxiously waiting for your reply.

Wait it out, Make her sweat a little…

THAT is how the pros do it.

And when you’re ready:

Tip 3: Use a photo to dial up the fun

One thing that can make a text a lot more interesting is including a photo.

Most phones these days have a camera feature, and even the most low-grade budget ones. So you can grab a decent picture of almost anything. (And remember, pictures of any sexual part of your body are off limits.)

I used to send pictures of my knuckles, the neighbor’s cat, and even my sideburns.

You simply send her a picture of it and ask her a crazy question about it.

I asked one girl to tell me if the cat in the picture looked like it was trying to read my thoughts…

It got huge laughs and finally led up to her sending me 3 pictures of her boobs.

(That’s with no top on, by the way.)

Pictures are like letting her in on your side of the story. Without having to say anything, and giving you a chance to really connect in a way that straight texting simply can’t do.

Don’t neglect this under-utilized technique in drawing her attention to you… NO ONE can resist a texted picture. I guarantee it’s beyond her control to ignore you if you use that.

Now, for more tips on getting her to Sext you pictures of herself, and even get her begging you for a booty call, you need to go on to The Next Page –> Click HERE

The post 3 Tips for Texting appeared first on How To Win With Women.