My dear friends Dave & Nick recently wanted to do an interview with ME (Carlos Xuma), so I agreed for the love of it. Now this is no “bragging fest” of an egomaniac right here, no in retrospect I think there are some DEEP insights in this one that I want to share with YOU guys: my respected readers!

Firstly, Thank you very much for your time, we know how busy you are as a dating guru and we appreciate this alot.
No problem…let’s get to it!

Tell us how you became involved in PUA and lifestyle change?

I’ve had several periods during my younger years where I HAD to change my lifestyle: I’ve moved homes 3 times, I once had thousands of dollars in bad debts thanks to a gold digger while I was in high school, got kicked to the kerb by my family TWICE after lots of fights, got involved with the wrong people and did some bad things etc.

On numerous occasions it was “change or die” for me, until I realized that most –if not ALL- problems originated from me not being able to communicate with women, not being able to understand them. I started doing bad things and was kicked to the kerb because I couldn’t handle my mother during the divorce and my stepmother afterwards, the gold digger and so forth.

So, by sheer coincidence I got Napoleon Hill’s Think And Grow Rich in e-book form as a gift for my birthday, read it and that was the start of the change that changed –and saved- my life FOR REAL. After reading it I started meeting women at school, on the internet, through friends…discovered there was such a thing as the “seduction community” after two years of being in the game, lol!

Over time I got to know other dating gurus like Derek Rake, Carlos Xuma, Adam Lyons… and the rest of my story can easily be found on the Win With Women blog. Just read the blog posts, lol!

What really motivated you to improve your lifestyle this way?

My biggest motivations to improve my lifestyle this way were the people I met.

You see, I made it my goal to surround myself with as much likeminded individuals as possible –and I did. One of those guys consistently had threesomes, instant dates AND parties and another got the digits of about five girls PER day…they made it look EASY! By seeing what they did, HOW they did it AND that they had LOTS of success thanks to it, I was motivated to improve whenever I was around them. I learned shitloads of techniques from them, things to say and so on…some of which I STILL use today!

Nevertheless, my biggest motivation (it still motivates the HECK out of me whenever I read just ONE chapter!) was a self help book called “Think & Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. I mentioned it before but thought I’d mention it again because in it?

Napoleon describes a thirteen step formula to achieve massive and consistent success and gather as much riches as a man can want…I simply replaced riches with women and BOOM! Worked like a charm. Thanks to this book and this book alone, I set goals for myself in the area of meeting women…ALL kinds of goals like get an x amount of kisses, approach women for an x amount of hours per week etc. It fired up my desire to win with women…helped me get rid off all my fears, alibi’s, excuses AND gave me the steps to get where I want in several areas of life. I highly recommend readers and all the other men on earth read it…

As you developed your skills in the field and grew into your role of dating guru, what lessons did you learn first hand from either mistakes or luck?

If I would describe them all, my answer would end up being an entire e-book! So let me just share a quick description of the two BIGGEST lessons I’ve learned:

1) Time management. I encountered exception girl number one, rarity number two, out of the ordinary circumstance number three…in other words: I was paying WAY too much attention to meaningless details, to “what should I do now’s?” while those women were EXCEPTIONS to the rule. So instead of walking away, I wasted time on trying to solve things or learn skills that only very rarely occurred or were very rarely needed. I also had very little time to approach because I had to combine work, school, friends AND the game while also being able to rest…so out of pure necessity a learned all kinds of ways to maximize my available time AND how to use my time more efficiently so I did more in ONE hour. I still reap the benefits today!

2) All is learning, there is no rejection or failure…only feedback. I realized that whenever I approached a girl and she didn’t reply that happily, didn’t gave me her number, disrespected me or whatever, it was just another skill I needed to learn…instead of feeling bad about ME as a person. So when I did NOT get that cutie’s # or a hottie’s email…I reflected: what did I do right already, what did I do wrong and thus need to learn, where can I improve even more? And all of a sudden, I started to LOVE those situations because I learned more from no results than from HAVING results, lol! This also made me much more relaxed, comfortable, enjoy myself = more #s and @s!

Skip ahead to the present day, looking back on your early development, what would you change or do differently?

Absolutely nothing! Napoleon Hill’s book inspired me to take action on my inability to deal, meet and BE with women. And I learned the game itself naturally by just DOING and reflecting afterwards and by surrounding myself with like minded men.

After having TONS of consistent success I discovered the community, started to comment on guys their problems, questions and so forth…and next thing I know they were asking ME for advice on a regular basis! Hence the blog and the personal coaching I do nowadays.

Which blog posts you’ve written do you like best? Any personal favorites?
Oh sure man! Since I starting getting results with women online before I got results anywhere else, I like helping men with their online dating profiles the most. That’s why my blog post with 7 samples of dating profiles is one of my favorites.

And since there are so many crappy online dating tips out there that make no sense at all and which are based on BS instead of facts, I also like my post with online date tips you should never follow. Trust me: it’s a real eye opener.

What achievements are you most proud of? Is it personal stuff or your achievements as a dating guru?

The thing I’m most proud of is my first student; you never forget your first one: your first car, your first love, your first student, lol!

I started to reply to his questions and topics on this seduction forum, than through a LOT of private messages and I saw him grow from start to finish. Over time I saw him get better and better until he eventually met a girl he liked for looks and character, but he didn’t escalate with her all the way when he had the chance…while she gave SEVERAL hints! I made him realize that, gave him advice on how he could STILL close the deal and sleep with her. Not even a week later, there it was: a topic on the forum saying how he slept with a girl (THAT girl) for the first time in AGES! Now THAT was pure fulfillment: seeing how my experience got someone else the girl and made him HAPPY.

I’ll never forget that…

As a PUA (pick up artist), what do you think are the most important things for beginners to focus on when learning about game?

Your way of thinking: anything the mind can conceive, it can believe and achieve. It’s basically like this: perception > values & beliefs > attitude > behavior, which is what Inner Game is. The first creates the second, the second the third and so on…you can not change who you are if you do not change the way in which you see the world, the way you THINK.

Now the most important things to do to get the right mindset are:
– Getting rid off your limiting beliefs. I can’t, I don’t, I’m too, I won’t, I shouldn’t, no, what if…basically EVERY negative or doubtful thought and word you say and think stems from a limiting belief, which is a only half right ASSUMPTION about a certain aspect of life, for example: “I can’t meet women because I have a fulltime job, I work out twice a week and see my friends during the weekend.” > I work SIXTY hours a week, work out twice, see my friends AND family AND still have time left to meet and attract girls and date them…because I know how to manage my time. So make a list of all the negatives you have and start COUNTERING them. Replace those bad habits with empowering beliefs, with healthy, good habits and you’ll see that ANYTHING is possible.

– Rome wasn’t built in a day. Most men tend to quit at the first sign of temporary defeat, while the biggest successes come AFTERWARDS: every failure brings with it a seed of equivalent success, of only you LEARN from your mistakes. Sometimes you have to be creative with that, but if you dig deep enough you WILL find new insights after mistakes. In other words: self-reflection, persistence & creativity are MUST-HAVE qualities any PUA should have.

Did you ever imagine you would become involved in this area of expertise? Why are you a dating guru and not a self help guru or whatever?

Not at all! Ever since I was a little boy I always wanted to have my own company, but in what line of work? I had NO clue. Really had no idea that being a dating guru was on the way and even if I did, how the hell can you plan for something like that?

I never found that line of work I liked enough although I did all kinds of coaching. Even when I got involved in the music industry and had success: it still didn’t FEEL right. But that was only until all kinds of people came to ME asking for advice about women, about sex, relationships, limiting beliefs and so on…and when I saw my advice was giving others success, and PUAs as well as guru’s complimented me on my stuff? That was when I KNEW I was born to do this. So by all means: come and talk to me on my blog because I LOVE helping men to win with women!

Onto your website, what was your inspiration for starting a blog?

I wanted to help MORE people, so I needed a bigger platform than a forum account. I thought a while about whether or not I should start an official dot com, but decided that I would first get my feet wet in the dating coach world.

In helping other men be successful with women, I contribute to their happiness…and I give something BACK to the game for helping ME get all that success. Seeing how my advice helps other men be happy AND prevents them from making the same mistake I did, gives me fulfillment. It truly is a blessing to be part of this! I feel very lucky for being able to help ALL these men wherever I can.

Did you seek any outside help from friends or co-workers?

For my own, personal game YES…like I said before, I’ve learned a great deal from friends who were naturals in the game. That’s why I befriended them: I wanted to have as many success models in my life as possible and still strive to do the same now.

And yes a LOT of people have helped me -and still do- with my blog/business, because every human is your master in some area…therefore I am both teacher and student and aim to help and BE helped by as much people as I possibly can! That’s why I only have friends and future friends…that’s pure Social Game by the way guys.

I’ve also approached gurus and people who I think can be my future success models, because my aim is to NEVER stop improving…I’m addicted to learning, lol!

You cover a number of very important and interesting topics which are aimed at improving your success with dating, what topics do you consider the most important and why?

Another question that would take me an answer that’s an entire book long…because there is no “one thing” or even “group of things” that says it all. And I’ll tell you why.

Men who’re beginning to meet women for dating (“PUAs”, which stands for Pick Up Artists) have the problem of attaching their self-worth to the outcome. In other words: when SHE reacts badly, THEY feel bad about themselves…they externalize their confidence and base how they feel on OTHER people’s opinions and behaviors.

Men who’re more advanced in the game ALSO have problems with the outcome however, and that is that they attach the SELF to the outcome: they start to IDENTIFY themselves with the game. In other words: when they’re not meeting women, they have no life…because game IS their life. Sounds pathetic huh? And it is! They base their life on SEDUCTION, while seduction should be based on their LIFE.

And that’s the biggest KEY insight a man can learn…because what works for YOU doesn’t necessarily works for ME. If you’re a bartender, you approach and meet women by promoting and having parties, being a master of mixing cocktails and being sexual with drinks (body shots etc.) and a BEAST on the dance floor. If you’re a fisherman, your approach to meeting and dating women may be entirely different: storytelling of your adventures at sea, taking women on your boat and doing Kino by teaching them how to steer, etc. you get the idea!

Now BOTH of these styles work, they co-exist yet are almost two opposite worlds. Does that make style one better than style two? NO, because they both work in their own unique way. This is why different methods have different results for different people, because they serve different wants and needs. Methods of game (routine based, natural etc.) are COMPLIMENTARY instead of contradicting and that is why I talk from neutral perspectives: I teach both routines and natural game, Inner Game and Outer Game, because it all depends on where you are on your journey…when it comes to what you need to improve.

Looking towards the future, what are your personal goals and what do you want to achieve through learning about the game and improving your own lifestyle?

Good question! I want to grow more with my blog and as a dating guru.

Better said: I want to become financially independent thanks to doing the thing I love, which is teaching men everywhere how to win with women on their own terms and as quickly as possible, in fact, I recently started personal coaching with two guys (coaching them on Online Game) so I’m already getting there!

In doing so, I’ve made a job out of my biggest passion: WOMEN. My goals are to, when I’m on my death bed; look back on a life in which I’ve created the BEST memories possible because I lived every moment to the fullest! And that’s what I’m all about: I LIVE my passions, instead of “doing the right thing” because family/friends/the world say so. Doing the right thing doesn’t necessarily means you’ll be happy…and I would rather be happy than live a life filled with regrets.

I’ve given up on many ‘right things to do’ in order for me to follow my biggest passion, and lots of people ask me if I regret that and funny thing is: I’m more happy now than I ever was…

In short: I want to become successful by making other people successful, because that gives me my fulfillment.

Thank you very much for your time. Look forward to working with you more in the future.

No problem David, Nick, I’ll talk to you guys soon.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Want more free tips about what I\\'ve talked about today? About raising your confidence through the roof, meeting girls anywhere & anytime, creating raw sexual attraction, and more? Make sure you get your secrets, ebooks, and email updates by signing up for my newsletter below NOW. Remember, it only takes 60 seconds to get more strategies and stealth sexual tactics, so do it. Sign up below.

Free Audiobook MP3 Download! 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics - How To Attract Girls With Stealth Strategies Sneak past her defenses and get the girl - with NO resistance and NO rejection. LIMITED TIME OFFER: Just enter your email below and get your 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics Audiobook MP3...