Carlos Xuma Interviews A Natural: Giant

Join me today everyone as I interview a close, personal friend of mine who has been a natural in picking up women for YEARS and years now. We learned a LOT from each other, and he’s been my best wingman up until this day. Right before I interviewed him I asked him to dig in his game as deep as he possibly could and might I say this DEFINITELY shows?

Now….onto the interview!

Welcome Giant, how you doin buddy? So good to have you here and to finally have the opportunity to go in DEEP with you about your succes with women and dating!

No problem at all Carlos, glad you took the time because I KNOW you learned a couple of things from me.

Lol! Very true. So…let’s get started. Was there a time you had LESS succes with women, that you were a wussy? Or did you always have succes but just got more and more succesful over time?

To be honest: before I was like 15 or 16 I didn’t even look at girls! I was far to busy being outside, getting myself intro trouble and as a result of it getting spankies from my mother haha! Back then yeah I had some female friends, but the idea of wanting to date them didn’t even cross my mind because I was preoccupied by other things. That all changed however when I met this guy who was from my neighbourhood.

Right before my eyes I saw him talk to a girl in what, 1 minute? And show me her number, in the middle of conversations he suddenly walked away when he saw a ‘target’. The thing was he didn’t even have time to feel fear for approaching, rejection or whatever. He just did it. He always took me alongside with him to wild parties where there where dozens of beautiful girls, he arranged a yacht to party on with them once just by doing it with this rich chick, and on many adventures after that.
You can see what this does to a fairly young, impressionable kid: I wanted it all too!

I told him and by then we were big friends, so he said to me he wanted to pass his game on to the next generation: me! So he took me to clubs and whenever we saw girls, he told me what to say and almost kicked my ass into going over to her and saying it haha. But I did, and also did it in the streets during the day, on work, on school: no place was safe for us until eventually I moved and lost contact. But by then I had all the skills and confidence I needed to go out on my own and so I did. I’ve been mostly going out alone since then for like uhm, 4 or 5 years now? And I know some people out there shit in their pants when they go out on their own themselves, but it was just a matter of practise, then experience and the combined two gave me the results I guess.

Wow! So you’re actually a natural…who got trained by another natural! Talk about a good example of the mastermind principle of Napoleon Hill. But what you said about needing practise and experience for perfect game is VERY true in fact, most guys learning it by these dating products tend to forget that there’s more then theory. Anyways…that absolute LACK of fear for rejection and approaching, can you tell me more about that?

Sure. What I saw when I was with my friend, was that other guys would immediately stop talking to a girl at the first no, so the first obstacle she put up for them. I was like what the? Because when you were young and wanted something from your parents, like the newest racecar model or whatever, you begged and begged and tried everything you could think of to get that car, right? They said no, not right now boy! Why do you want it so bad? No! Ahhh look at how sweet you are, so racecars are a total obsession for you huh? Okay you can have it, but you have to do the dishes tonight then.
In the end I got it from my mom, so why act differently when around other women I thought? I still don’t understand to this day why most dudes out there quit way too soon. I almost forget: I’ve had many experiences where I was on a date with a cute girl, managed to isolate her and she told me no several times before we finally did it! Those situations were all a matter of keep going on and when she resisted, take a little longer or use another way to move from touching to kissing to nibbling for example.

One thing I always do by the way when I a girl throws an obstacle my way is something you learned and applied yourself. It depends on what the obstacle is off course, but most of the time girls tested me on either jealousy or time. So whenever they had something better to do then talking to me and I picked up on it I told this before they had the chance to tell me they were off, so I remained in control. I said: “I can see you’re busy with a couple things, so don’t let me interrupt you and do ya thing!” If they were not I immediately got their attention back but just to show my indifference I always followed up with even if you were, I don’t mind. And if they were busy, they would respect me for giving them their space to live their own lives.

They always laugh when I say it in my careless way and great thing is that it’s a win-win for me:
they aren’t busy > I have their full attention again but still showed indifference which they like,
and if they are busy > I have just gotten respect for my indifference and giving them space.

It makes you come across not needy, that’s what the strength behind it is I think.

Oh yeah, another thing about rejection I experienced was: if she kept saying no and gave me signals that she really wasn’t into me? I just quit and went on to the next one I saw walking there maybe a 1 minute walk from the b*tch, haha! My point is: there are so many women out there that I really didn’t care about any individual result because it always was about getting better to me and not getting that one way too stuck up girl. I had days were one turned me down, I turned around, and there was the next girl waiting to give me her email, she turned me down and when I turned around from that one I did get the email from a third one. Hell, I even remembered talking to several girls from a group until I closed one of them! So that’s what I mean with keep on keeping on.

***NOTE*** And if you want to discover other street-wise insights of why this is so, thorny techniques that take the sting out of ANY woman’s defenses and other awe-inspiring strategies for meeting women…

 Then check out the monthly Win With Women 2.0 e-zine HERE

 

Onward…

About approaching, well, it’s pretty much the same thing. I can remember you yourself having trouble with finding the words to say to a woman, but it was just a matter of being to hard on yourself! You know how many emails and phonenumbers I got at the mall, on the street or whatever by just asking: Hi, did you have a nice day today? And it suprised you how many answered yes and told me about there day, remember? It’s the same with other things like how do you do or I’m new here do you know where I can find this and that: it’s delivery, not content. You see I ask them in a confident tone of voice, chest held high with my body in an open position with a slight smile on my face. Then I followed up with some witty comment I could think of, but always with a straight face. Have you noticed how I never laugh out loud when around them? Just that slight smile always? That’s what makes my remarks and moves more powerful, my composure, my…communication of higher status you call it right?

That’s right, and hell yeah I remember haha! You always have REALLY good body language, and with your WAY above average height it’s even more powerful. But I’m curious…I’ve seen you get a LOT of e-mails/phonenumbers from multiple girls, EVERYDAY. Did you experience any difficulties because of the sheer size of your contacts list?

D you yourself saw from being there with me that the playboy lifestyle is a lot less glorious then people want you to believe, so although I enjoyed and still enjoy it? Yes
it caused difficulties.

When you have gotten multiple emails or numbers the first week you’re like okay, niiice, let’s pimp! and whatever, but when you start having this succes on a regular basis you encounter problems.

I know I did, and you know I did too haha! For example: the problem I have closing a lot of deals is one of names, faces and memories. What I mean by this is that in a regular month where I closed 5 girls per day, I could not remember their name, their face or which information belonged to which girl! I needed processing time to not only connect the dots with a single girl, but also plan in dates with the woman! Caus I closed time after time but also had a regular life, and strange enough my approaching interferred with my closing, closing the entire deal and getting her into bed that is. That’s why with getting emails and numbers you’re only half way there.

But boy did I went through a lot because of dating multiple women at a time! Not only do you need processing time for a single girl, managing a system of approaching and closing multiple girls was a fulltime job. Telling each separate girl you’re fucking other girls leads to you know what, no girls, so I had to keep them undercover from each other. Turned my phone on when seeing one, hung up when one came and the other was on the line, had different emails for myself to talk with different girls, etc. I also got discovered a few times and so I had to run from family members and stuff being thrown at me by a girl more then once, hahaha! But it was all fun to me and it still is and I love women regardless.

You know what a lot of guys seem to forget about the game? The environment. I had much trouble dating multiple women at the same time in the past not only because of what I said earlier but mostly because of another thing. Thinking the people around you won’t talk about your experiences is a myth. Thinking you can get away with meeting an entire city full of beautiful women without consequences is a myth too. I experienced this little thing called a reputation. Without saying my name girl’s knew who I was, although our city has like half a million people in it as you know! But these girls knew I was someone living the playboy lifestyle and so the shields they put up around themselves for me were way stronger then before my rep. I still managed to close a lot of them in time though, but it took more time and it got more difficult over time too. I devised things as introducing myself using another name just to be able to avoid that rep because everywhere I said my name they said: ow you’re that player who…I guess I left quite an impression haha!

But my point is you can not continuously pick up in the same environment for a long period of time because it will work against you thanks to your rep, you have to take a break for a while. Also because I’m not a machine and not 24/7 busy with picking up women, you need to have an own life and recharge that battery from time to time too.

I made my breaks work for me and still manage to date multiple women at the same time, in the same town.

Wow…honest answer! I think it explains why you did your thing so well in confined environments. With this I mean school, work and such: these little places we frequently visit which makes it hard to not get into trouble because of it. So can you elaborate a bit more on your action-break system?

Sure, because I know how effective it has been in your own personal life too! It’s like this: at first I felt uncomfortable approaching women at school, work and these other places because it can be used against you. At work you can get fired because of harassment, not doing your job enough caus you’re always flirting, make it impossible to pick up because you’re picking up everyone and you can’t use another name so the rep’s always there. Same goes for the school. Everybody knows exactly who you are and the more you frequent the place, the harder it gets.

Since work and school were the places I spent most of my time I just had to come up with a way to deal with this problem. First I started to become friends with benefits with the girls, you know, flirting and generating attraction, touching them here and there but not closing them. This made me get to know a lot of women without the rep, but I wanted to close to started to get bored by it after a while and closed one or two.

My discovery basically came by coincidence: I just closed the two from before and another and saw the dynamics change as to girls looking at me different, but then I got sick. For two weeks I had to stay home because I was caughing my ass off,then came the day I came back to school and work. I remember it very clearly: everybody acted like before, although the girls I closed but didn’t want the relationship with ignored me the rest didn’t. Since I had no contact at all with those people during my little break I thought to myself: so whenever I start to get a reputation I have to lay low for a while and do nothing, which makes me go under the radar, and afterwards gives me the chance to start over! It worked that schoolyear. One times, two times, the entire year even. When people asked me why I was so quiet during the breaks (I would literally sit alone eating my lunch not talking to anybody, not even boys) I just said I was busy working on some things and they stopped asking. In the beginning I did the break just with the girls but talked to boys, but noticed how they gossiped stuff along to the females so that’s why my break has such an isolationist style, haha!

The bonus of the break was that I could recharge, think of new ways to do things and new places to go. Meanwhile I would entertain myself outside, with sports or just gaming to not get bored and I got my system to work really well for me. Everytime the break ended I was charged more then that Duracell bunny, and each time I got sore or a rep I took the break. It also made me unpredictable, scarce for everyone and thus more attractive. I had no trouble with having a low number of friends or little social interaction during breaks because of it, since I never started in the game to win a popularity contest. I started to be the best with women and dating and only that.

Damn! Very inspiring. I’ve seen you do most of your pick ups on the streets, with daygame. Why is it that you prefer daygame over other types of game settings? Because a LOT of guys out there see all kinds of limitations to it, like what to do if she’s at the other end of the subway station, further down the road, in a car and you’re on the sidewalk, etc.

I can see how other guys seem to have trouble with daygame because it’s during the day so they’re totally exposed and out in the open, in a free environment also but not me. You see, the streets are acces. Easy acces. I can walk outside right now, walk around, and find myself a really beautiful girl within five minutes of walking and this is a city with no catwalks, know what I’m saying?

I don’t have to get in nowhere or dress a certain kind of way because of the venture’s dresscode, no. I can go outside and I’m in: easy acces. Since it’s such a large environment a lot of people can move around in it: easy acces to a large amount of people. Also with this large open territory I can move freely without any boundaries, which you do encounter in the club with the dancefloor vs. the bar vs. the lounge conflict. You know? The advantage of no boundaries is that there’s ample space for me to show my body language, walk away from a girl a bit to show indifference, isolate her because there’s lots of room to isolate her in, etc.

What I also like about gaming during the game is that the women themselves offer easy acces. By this I mean I almost never experienced male competition in all those days I picked up women, it’s mostly quiet so I can say what I want and how I want it and openers like do you have the time, do you know where the nearest … is, how was your day work better there in my opinion because of the lack of competition, noise and the wide open environment. It makes those girl feel more open too so they’ll be more open. One other thing I noticed is how when they’re outside during the day, they’re almost always on their way. So when you’re asking for directions she’s more likely to walk a while with you when asking something that’s ‘accidently’ on her way there, you know? By this I mean you’ll leave her thinking she has gone with you somewhere already, which makes it harder for you to kiss, fuck or whatever her.

Thank you for being so open with me because although I’ve learned some things from you in the past, I’m also learning NOW so I think my readers are too. Since we all have to go across streets and daygame to reach things like clubs/bars/school/work and it’s thus something we spend a lot of time in, I want to dig a little deeper into daygame. I know you have a few approaches to space obstacles: if she’s on the other side of the road, 100 meters down the road, walking 10 steps behind you, etc. What’s your approach to these problems?

That’s simple D: stop thinking of it as limitations. You can do all sorts of things when the girl can see you but is at a distance from you. You can wave, you can lift both your eyebrows repeatedly with a slight smile, you can even say or yell Hi. It’s by the way powerful if she responds because it takes a while to get there and the girl is literally waiting for you to talk to her! Gives you a head-start I would say.

When there’s a distance between me and her and she’s not looking? It depends on where she’s located. If she’s in front of me and I don’t want to miss that opportunity I speed up my space until I’ve reached her and ask casually for directions or doing all those other things I normally do. When she’s behind me I slow down looking around me like I’m looking for something (justifies to her why I’m doing it) or better: the phone technique. It’s my favorite.

Whenever I see a girl I can’t reach immediately and she’s not looking at me (I have no sign of interest yet) I grab my phone and act like I’m getting a call, all the while positioning myself or stopping my walk in such a way that she can see me and I can make eyecontact after which I make my move. One example of this you’ve seen with your own eyes. We were in the bus sitting way in the back, with this cute girl sitting two rows in front of us. I refused to not use the opportunity, grabbed my phone, walked to the front of the bus with an animated ‘prank’ phonecall. All the while I was looking here and there, and then in the eyes of the girl and smiled. I talked for a minute or so more to not make the move obvious, and in other cases either tease with that I wasn’t smiling to he but because of my callerr, or directly go into closing the deal. That time I went directly for it, closed it.

In a large environment, as is the case with day game, it’s also hard to get an overview because it’s so large. It’s weird when there are attractive women around and you start looking everywhere and looking around, but look at something being called: they almost ALWAYS look around! So I use it as a tool to get an overview too.

The third case in which I use my phone technique is when I want to let a girl know I’m indifferent or too important to leave there standing. Let me explain. I remembered from the times with my friend all the needy guys hanging around their women when they got a call or talked to another guy until she was through. I saw it as pet behavior, those cumps only needed a leech and they would be!

Why be needy and wait for a woman to end her phonecall when you know women can call for hours at a time? Why be needy and wait when she’s talking to another guy and paying you no attention? Let her be! It also shows you’re indifferent about the attention she’s getting because you trust her not doing anything when you walk away. Very nice little helper it has been for me, always works to generate attraction. Guess what I do when such a thing happens? I either ‘get a call’ when another guy is suddenly around or she’s busy with someone else for too long or I completely focus my attention on something else when she’s busy only a short time, not showing any interest after she’s done about what she did. Indifference is my friend. I think why it’s so great is that it shows I’m only available for a limited amount of time, under limited circumstances. When you’re always around you’re less valuable, when you’re around only so often and only when she gives you complete attention your ‘price’ will skyrocket!

Man you just told us another way of looking at the prizability concept of Swinggcat, without even knowing it! I’m impressed…that you naturally learned to apply it while others needed to study the game for it for years! I also applied the prizability in my own life, so it’s funny to see you always did without me knowing about it. Anyways…one thing I noticed while being around you while you picked up women, is that you make NO distinction between really beautiful ones, fatter ones, skinny ones, ones that only have a lot of behind etc. So what DO you use when selecting a girl as potential pick up ‘prey’?

Ow that’s easy man. But let me first tell something about that there is no distinction between beautiful women and lesser beauty’s. Guys see beautiful women somehow as different then women with less beauty, that they have more status, are more special, I wonder why? Because seriously, I have more fun talking to beautiful girls because they are in a better walk of life with more ambition, more confidence and so more happiness which makes them better accesible to fun, exciting things to do! It’s only because you’ll experience a lot of competition and you have to be and not act like a confident, attractive guy that guys think they’re harder to get. I hate the distinction, because they’re not. It’s propably what you call a limited belief to think more beauty needs more effort. Less pretty girls can give you all sorts of hard times thanks to their lack of confidence, and what is beauty anyway?

If beauty in a woman is natural beauty then that applies but if it’s how they look then these guys thinking it are way off! Beautiful girls spend a lot of time on their make-up, finding the right clothes to match, the right haircut, and all that other stuff! Basically they also take all that time when they’re having a date. They want to look pretty and get appreciated for it, so for Gods sake appreciate!

And about the no distinction thing, why would I make it? I can have as much fun, excitement and freaky sex with an older woman, a fatter then normal woman, a she doesn’t speak my language woman as with a beautiful one or a skinny woman. Because to me, the game is all about having fun with it, playing around, doing exciting things! That’s why I didn’t liked hearing what you told me about these ‘guru’s’ teaching routines or lines and that they should be repeated time after time, we’re not machines. We’ll get bored, we’ll lose faith in that system. Why? Because man, where’s the fun? Always gotta have the fun, what else are you in it for otherwise?

That’s what I always loved about your style of picking up women: no distinctions, simplicity and NO limited thinking because you’re pretty much an all-rounder when it comes to where you can be effective with your game. One thing I noticed though about HOW you pick up women is also the simplicity and I can remember you telling me how you hated closing the deal verbally. Can you explain what you DO use to close the deal?

By hating closing the deal verbally I ment that most men talk way to much to a girl before moving in for the kill! I’ve seen these guys talk to girls and they were giving them all these kinds of signals: dilated pupils, arching their backs, tossing their heads and hair, prolonged eye contact and more. How many times did I see them fail because they didn’t notice and she got frustrated? I lost count. The hotty is throwing in all her body language to let you know she wants you, she’s giving herself to them and they’re blind to it, helloooo? That’s what I hate about overtalking the situation. Overtalking can also lead to overanalyzing: what should I say, when should I say it and you know those things cost you useless time because it’s about how you say it, duhhh.

My style is I guess much more physical: I make a physical connection thanks to eye contact, when she’s tossing her hair I touch it, dilated pupils I tease with stop staring at me. In other words: I let them know I know about those signals, after which it’s easy to move to the next step with more touching, kissing etc. I know all these ways of touching them that I could sit here and talk about it with you all day!

The only verbal things I do is open them casual, say something witty, close and afterwards make a connection. I let them talk about their life, their family, what makes them tick while throwing in some witty comments here and there. Whenever she says something I can remotely relate to I make a connection. Like she says she loves surfing and I reply by telling her how I love the sea and what I always do on the beach. Emotional connection one. I ask about the dangers of surfing, what kind of nasty things she experienced in the water because of it. Then I tell how I once almost drowned in the water: water danger connection, know what I’m saying? It always work. Just making connections, be witty here and there and once in a while show consideration. When it comes to how I’m witty well uhm, one thing that always seem to work is teasing by accusing her of stereotyping me or stereotyping her herself because there’s millions of stereotypes you can use, in every situation. I learned it from you as you already know, but don’t you have a name for that nowadays?

I think my results are what they are because I’m really strong in the body language department and also very strong in being mysterious and indifferent thanks to my breaks and comments when they’re busy. It’s all about being physical with me though, and I try to unleash the sexual beast inside her as soon as I can: touch, touch, touch and doing sexual orientated things like ‘play fighting’ with her, have a tickle contest and accidently land on top, and when I do use verbal stuff I whisper it most of the time. Seems to me that it’s more hard hitting then just saying things out loud. Don’t know if that’s a good answer, but it’s my way of doing things.

No it’s a good answer allright because men spend TOO MUCH time on things to say, when most of the communication between humans is based on body language. With the stereotyping you propably mean my Foreignality concept? Ah well, this has been a great interview my friend and on behalf of my readers I would like to thank you for sharing your insights!

Did you like the interview? I certainly did. My friend REALLY opened up his game for everyone to see and he went DEEP with his answers, look at their length! I’m sure you can benefit from this interview as I myself have learned a thing or two while I’ve been socializing with the guy for YEARS.

Things like online date tips that simply aren’t true while most regular guys like you and me fall for them!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

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