How To Create Attraction – Building Comfort
Comfort is the bedrock of any interaction. It’s much easier to like, invest and fall in love with someone you feel comfortable around, someone you’ve bonded with. Most men starting out don’t build enough comfort though… it’s the single greatest mistake they make.
These jackasses read books and posts about negging (blowing a girl out/ giving her a backhanded compliment that’s more like an insult than a compliment) and they see that as cool and like it’s the thing that makes them stand out the most. So they try it way too soon into the interaction and end up insulting the girl they’re talking too. I was like this too at first. I was not building nearly enough comfort before disqualifying a girl. I sat and thought about how to change this. So I developed a system to be in a safe zone of comfort before making my seductive moves (by disqualifying her with backhanded compliments, being picky and so forth.)
The single best way to learn how to get with a girl is to learn how to build comfort and to spark the attraction is by getting an investment through what I call A&A (Affirm And Ask).
How do you do it? You lead the conversation by asking questions and affirming with every answer enthusiastically THUS getting investment.
Don’t stop building comfort by throwing around your selectiveness and teasing too soon though. She’s got to talk about everything. Affirm and ask. That’s the way to build rapport and get investment at the same time.
The way I do it is giving myself points: everytime I ask, she answers and I affirm, I add a point to my “score” and when I got to 10 points I know it’s safe to start being the playful teaser and all that WITHOUT being seen as a jerk or a dick.
Let’s look at an example…
RockyJJP: “Hi how are you, you look so nice today.” +1point
Her: “Ah thank you, your too kind.”
RockyJJP: “Where did you buy your outfit? I want to buy one for my sister, it’s her birthday soon.” +2points.
Her: “I actually bought it at TopShop in London I was there last month.”
RockyJJP: “Yeah, I love London. I go there all the time with my friends. I’m staying in Marble Arch. Where do you stay?” +1point.
Her: “I stay in Chelsea, I have family there.”
RockyJJP: “Most girls I meet from London are not very friendly. But you don’t seem like a London girl. You seem really friendly. So tell me 3 things about yourself”
Then those 3 things will be considered as 3 points of investment + 3points.
Displaying good body language while doing all of this: +1point.
If you affirm when you ask, you will never stop getting investment. This is because you’re encouraging her to talk.
And here’s the killer combo of the week: during Asking & Affirming, introduce alpha male traits in your conversation to DOUBLE the value of yourself while she’s investing. Remember those qualities? They are: being a risk taker, having good body language, having pre selection, having a good sense of humour and having an abundance state of mind.
Keep it up… and always choose to fight instead of running away (that’s not very alpha male-like now is it)
RockyJJP & Carlos Xuma
P.S. Looking for more tips on how to improve your confidence... or how to approach women, oh so beautiful women? And do you want tips for how to create attraction as well? Then get instant access to more tips by signing up for our FREE Inner Game Insider.