1. She should say YES
2. She should NEVER say NO
3. She should really be interested – not just trying to win a free meal

I’m sure I’ll get a lot of feminist hate mail for #3, but I don’t care. I’m here to help you safely navigate the treacherous waters of dating and mating.

The ideal process of asking a girl out would never include the possibility she would say NO to you. Rejection is something men universally despise.

So I’m going to give you 3 Simple Steps to asking a girl out. I’ll also give you the (mostly) foolproof method here to accomplish the goal.

What you will have to do is bring a willingness to see the TRUTH about the girl you want, and not fool yourself about what her actual interest in you is. Because here’s my –

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #1: If she doesn’t really like you, then you don’t want to date her.

I know that one SHOULD be obvious.

HOWEVER you’d be surprised how many guys want to go out with a girl – even knowing that she’s not that into him. I’m not sure what the fantasy is that’s rolling around in his skull, but it should be forgotten and never entertained again.

Now I know what you’re thinking – you’re wondering why the number 1 result is her saying YES and number 2 result is her never saying NO – Aren’t those two really the same thing?

Nope…

A woman can say yes, just to get you off her back. What she really means is NO – even if she isn’t using that word.

Be willing to look at your behavior honestly…

• Are you being a little creepy or weird with her?
• Have you been asking her out every week since 2007 and she still hasn’t said no – but she also hasn’t said yes yet, either…?

Look at your own behavior and see if your persistence might have been a bit misguided. If you can’t tell, ask a friend who knows you and your situation well and will not bullsh*t you.

There’s no substitute for hearing the TRUTH – no matter how painful it may be.

Okay, so let’s move into the 3 simple steps to ask a girl out, starting with:

Get The Date – Step 1: Feel The Fear – And Act Anyway

99% of life is new to you after you’re born. From that point until you die, that percentage just keeps decreasing.

The good news is, you’ll never get to zero percent new.

Most people die with half a tank of gas and most of the world yet to see. You know what stops people from seeing and experiencing all the cool stuff out there?

FEAR

Fear is an emotion – and it’s NOT REAL. You can’t touch fear, or put fear in a bottle, or even SEE fear.

The only thing it can do is trick your brain into making you a fraidy cat.

So it’s up to you to do what you need to do. 

If you want to talk to a girl, go talk to her. Don’t think that women act like they do in youtube videos put up by “feminista gangsters.” (Those women aren’t in touch with love, only anger. Don’t listen to them.)

Women WANT men to say hi to them and talk to them.

How else would they know if they’re the beautiful creature they desperately believe they are?

You, as a man, have the ability to override any fear in your brain by banishing it.

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #2: Don’t Ask Just To Ask.

I see a lot of guys make this mistake – thinking that if they ask for a date, she’ll just say yes to “try you out” or take you for a test drive.

A woman knows in the first few minutes of meeting you if she’s going to sleep with you, and she might know even sooner if she WON’T sleep with you.

Your job is not to worry about that. Because the more you look like you’re worried about whether she’s going to like you, the less likely it is she will like you.

It’s a simple system to game. Just let go of your need to please and make everyone like you.

That’s actually easier than you might think…!

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #3: She will not ask you out.

Another reality is that she’s not going to approach you and ask you out, my friend.

If she does, great. But don’t count on it.

If any woman asks you out before you asked her, she’s always going to wonder if you just said yes to be nice to her. (Yeah, kinda like how you sometimes feel.)

So don’t rely on women to bust that move – it’s a MAN’s job.

Once you accept that life is not always going to be easy, it gets a whole lot easier.

Get The Date – Step 2: Have A Plan

When you see a pretty girl, what’s the first thing that runs through your head?

“What do I say to her?”

That’s what most guys think, and it’s also the least important thing to worry about.

Here, I’m going to erase that question from your mind. The next time you see a woman you want to ask out, say this:

“Hey, I saw you over here and I knew I would be kicking myself if I didn’t say hi. My name is ______”

BOOM! Mic drop, done.

Anyone can say that, and it’s not weird or embarrassing.

What’s that..?

You still feel a little weird approaching women?

Well, it’s not the words then, is it?

Because I just GAVE you the only words you’ll ever need to meet any woman, and you STILL can’t do it.

You know what it usually boils down to? Just having the words – AND having the courage to take action.

I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a minute, but just keep in mind that your plan is simple:

1. Have a comfortable opener to use at a moment’s notice… memorized and ready to go…
2. Talk about wherever you are or whatever you’re doing…
3. Have a simple “escape parachute” to get out of the conversation with her phone number, Facebook, or the date…

Uh, that’s it.

You don’t need a clever “dancing monkey” routine.

You don’t need anything but those two steps.

Yeah, I know there is some more padding and detail in there, and I’ll get to it in a minute…

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH #4: Don’t Ask A Girl Out Unless You Already Know The Answer!

Sun Tzu – author of the greatest strategic book on war of all time – The Art Of War – says this:

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”

What he means is that only IDIOTS attack someone without knowing they will win. Why would you do anything else?

Wait… seriously, before you read on – really understand what I just said…

Why would you leave any important endeavor up to CHANCE?

Risk my life, or my reputation on the flip of a coin? That’s STOOOOOPID. And if you manage your life with that kind of philosophy, expect to be a VERY sad panda.

“Figure out your strategy, and then make your victory INEVITABLE.” – Carlos Xuma

Do what it takes to MAKE the answer yes first, then – and ONLY then – ask the question.

Get The Date – Step 3: Ask Directly – Not Like a Wuss

You know how wusses ask a girl out? Like this:

“You wanna hang out later?”

WTF? Is this some kid in 3rd grade, or the girl you dig?

I’m hoping the latter.

I know what guys are doing when they approach it this way. They’re hoping they can test the waters to see if she’s really interested.

• If she says yes, he deludes himself into thinking he’s asked her out on a date…
• If she says NO, he tells himself he was just being friendly…

Can’t have it both ways, dude!

But here’s what happens when you try to avoid rejection by being indirect like this:

1. You’re going to confuse her. She might not call you on it, but she will assume you only mean a FRIENDSHIP kind of hang-out, and you’ll already be in the friend zone. (Even if she was interested in you!)
2. You’re going to look like a first rate chicken.

You don’t need to say “I like you, and I’d like to date you.” That’s a bit too much.

But you should be clear and up front so that she doesn’t wonder what your intentions are. Women hate that weaselly way that men try to avoid rejection.

Just say you’d like to “get to know her better.” That’s all she needs to hear.

Now, I know this might sound like oversimplification in some ways. Like I’m just glossing over all the important stuff.

But honestly, getting a date or asking a girl out is not that difficult. It’s everything we start thinking that gets in the way.

Most guys realize they already have all the words they need. You also probably have an intuition that it’s not the words that really matter, anyway.

It’s your confidence and attitude to use them.

To ask the question when it’s time…

To show her you’ve got what it takes…

And believe it or not, there are only a few small tweaks to have you fully prepared and ready for any situation with a woman.

When you’ve got the confidence tool set in your utility belt, you’re going to feel CONFIDENT.

• You’ll be CONFIDENT you know what to say…
• You’ll be CONFIDENT you know what to do – and when…
• You’ll be CONFIDENT she won’t shake you off your game…

If you want to get this confidence and basically plug it into your brain, you need to get yourself this Superpower For Men…
REVEALED: The Secret To Uncontrollable Sexual Desire…

Watch the Free Presentation HERE…

The post How To Ask A Girl Out – 3 Steps appeared first on How To Win With Women.

When it comes to talking to women, knowing WHAT to say is huge.

It’s probably the most common question I get from guys, in fact.

“What do I say to her?”

And it’s just as important to know how to talk to a girl in a way that gets her sexually interested in you.

Let’s start off with a few things you shouldn’t say to a girl:

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 1: Overly personal questions…

Some guys jump right into a rapid-fire interrogation of a woman when they meet her. It’s not meant to be scary or weird, just curious.

It’s not a job interview…

But if you ask her a bunch of questions about where she lives, where she works, where she likes to hang out, etc, it can freak a girl out.

Remember, women are always sensitive and aware of the threat of possible sexual assault, so you have to be sensitive to this when talking to her.

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 2: Complimenting her on her appearance…

There is a right way and a wrong way to bring up a woman’s appearance. Most guys use this hook as a way to flatter a woman, and it usually sounds douchey and lame.

You don’t want to launch into a speech about how hot she looks, or any kind of compliments about her body. That just feels way too weird up front.

Avoid compliments that aren’t insightful and thoughtful.

DON’T SAY THIS TO HER 3: Bragging, or any kind of grandstanding…

Guys often feel like the most important thing to do when meeting a girl for the first time is to impress her.

This is usually the WORST thing you can do.

I get it, you want to stand out from the pack and look like a high-quality mating opportunity for her, but again it just looks douchey. Kinda like those mating dances that animals do to impress each other.

Don’t be THIS guy.

When a guy tries to impress a woman up front, he’s saying: “Hey, you’re the prize and I’m just a schmuck trying to win you over. I have inferior value, so I need to try hard to get your approval.”

The high value man doesn’t play this game. He knows that he wants HER to start trying to impress him as soon as possible in the conversation.

Don’t give your power away with this kind of needy behavior.

Okay, so what SHOULD you say to a girl?

Let’s cover a few of them:

What To Say To A Girl 1: “You caught my eye…”

Actually, you want to say this subtly, but you should give her a reason for your approaching her. Every woman knows WHY you’re talking to her – you want to bang her. It’s simple sexual science.

But she also wants to hear it in a way that tells her you’re confident and you’re going after what you want. That alone is flattering to her.

DOn’t let a good opportunity pass you by.

So just tell her something like:

“Hey, I saw you and thought you had a real nice energy about you. I knew I’d kick myself later if I didn’t say hi. My name’s ________”

That’s a sure-fire opener that will get you into a conversation with just about any girl.

Just say it with a level of seriousness. I see a lot of guys that approach and talk to women with a tone that is goofy and awkward – and they’re doing it on purpose! Usually to avoid being vulnerable in the event they’re rejected.

The beauty of this opener is that she can’t reject you. You just started a conversation based on curiosity. That’s it.

What To Say To A Girl 2: “I’m impressed…”

Letting a woman know you’re impressed with her is a subtle way of implying that she is working to get your approval. It’s a great way of flipping the tables on her so that she doesn’t think you’re just some guy trying to kiss her butt to get into her bed.

During the course of the conversation, if she says something you find interesting – or approval worthy – just say: “Huh. I’m impressed…”

She’ll feel acknowledged, and she’ll instantly feel a little pull towards you that she can’t explain.

What To Say To A Girl 3: “You look like trouble…”

This one goes way back to the old “pickup artist” days…

Basically you tell her how you see her as being a “bad girl.” Women like this mostly because they’ve been framed by society as these pure, snow-white angels of virtue. Girls can do no wrong, we’re told over and over again.

NOT!

Nothing sexier than a woman who can handle her own…

And not only is this false, she’s also dying to find a guy that knows it and is savvy enough to bring it out in the light. To talk about it.

Just tell her:

“You look like trouble. Are you planning a bank heist … like ‘Ocean’s 8’ or something?”

You’re not trying to brag your way into her world – you’re showing her that you’re seeing HER. This is a major turn-on for women.

They are obsessed with being able to cast a spell over the male mind… being so irresistible that you will crawl through miles of broken glass just to cry in her shadow.

What To Say To A Girl 4: “Maybe I was wrong about you…”

Another way to covertly flatter a woman (while positioning yourself as a high-value Alpha man) is to tell her you’re changing your mind about her.

Now, she might not have had the first care about what you think of her – at first. But once you tell her that you’re starting to warm up to her:

• She feels a jolt of approval…
• She wonders, “Wait… he didn’t like me before? WHY?”

It’s a little mind-trick, but it’s something that positions you much better in her mind than just blanketly approving of her. Most “nice guys” make this mistake of approving all over her – gushing their desire on her like a bad porn movie.

Drop that attitude now, because it’s the one thing that has kept you stuck in the friend zone with most of the women you meet.

You want to imply that you’re just starting to warm up to her, and it’s surprising. Get her to understand how she needs to step up and work for YOUR approval.

What To Say To A Girl 5: “No way…”

Again, most guys spend far too much time agreeing with women.

Another way to spark some attraction is to pull back a bit in disbelief. You can do this with slight sarcasm, or just a hint of “yeah… rrrrright.”

As your conversation progresses, and you start to warm up to each other, find a ripe moment where you can just not believe something she says.

Pique her interest with a good challenge…

Maybe she says she’s on her way to meet her mom for lunch…

“Yeah, right… I bet you use that on all the guys you’re trying to escape.”

Maybe she says she’s going to pick up her car from the shop…

“No way. You’re definitely a ‘lease the Lexus’ kind of girl. I’m not buying it.”

It’s playful and fun, with a hint of teasing.

What To Say To A Girl 6: “You like me…”

Again, in the vein of ‘things to say that reverse the roles…’

What you want to do is imply that she likes you, in a funny, non-douchey way.

• She says: “Oh, I don’t like that coffee” (or anything where she disagrees with you.)
• YOU say: “You’re starting to like me, huh?” (Smirk)

It’s your turn to play ‘hard to get’…

The humor should be there, of course. And it’s something that will get a laugh from her as well.

It’s also a way of breaking out of the usual routine of complimenting and kissing her ass all the time.

Just imply with an oblivious tone that she’s falling in like with you.

What To Say To A Girl 7: “That’s it, we’re done…”

You have to realize that 99% of all guys say the exact same things to a woman.

Usually involving him pretending to want to be a friend so he can, maybe, sneak into being her boyfriend in some magical fantasy he’s concocted in his head.

The pretending to be a friend is, of course, just another way to avoid the risk of being rejected. And in so doing ensures that he only winds up as her friend.

You have to know the kind of fun, challenging things to tell her that will spark her interest.

Who can resist cute, little furry animals?

One of the best is to pretend that you’re both already dating, and now it’s over.

“Yeah, I’m thinking we need to breakup. I’ll take the cats, you take the microwave. Deal?”

For one, woman hate the “breakup zone” so she’ll instantly be triggered to WANT to connect with you by framing it like this.

For another, it demonstrates that you can push back and disapprove of her – heck, even present yourself as a guy who can break it off with a woman. Jokingly.

There’s a lot going on with this one, and it is all good.

Plus, it’s funny.

And even more important, you need to know how to talk to women – and not have to memorize any lines…

Women are turned on by words, in fact.

But when you’re in the moment, face-to-face with a girl, you know you’re probably going to forget everything, right?

It’s like getting on stage for a play and forgetting your lines…

And that’s what usually stops guys from ever talking to a woman in the first place.

I’ve got the perfect solution for you –

I want to show you how to unleash a woman’s erotic desire for you – with only words.

Go watch my free presentation on how to have Fearless Conversation With Any Woman

The post What To Say To A Woman – 7 Phrases That Make Women Hot For You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

This week, I’ve got you something from the mailbag…

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Carlos, I’ve been going out on a ton of dates lately, but I’ve run up against some obstacles.

I get into conversations with women, but I can’t seem to break into the “attraction zone” with many of the women. They all seem to keep me on this friendship level, and I don’t know what to do.

I want to get our conversations on a sexual level somehow…

What should I do?

• Pete W. – Manhattan, KS

______________________

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Pete, that’s a fantastic question that men everywhere want to know the answer to… in fact, it’s the key to kick-starting a woman’s attraction in that first conversation with her.

Will he be… “friend-zoned?

• The Text is what you’re saying to each other – the actual words you use.
• The Subtext is what you’re saying under your words, with your attitude and your way of being.

Inner Game = Outer Game

1) Tone of voice:  Lower your vocal pitch as low as you can go.

Find your “inner” Barry White…

2) Body posture & stance:  Slow everything down to half-speed…

3) Eye contact:  This is a huge one, because – as they say – the eyes are the windows to the soul.

The post How To Make A Conversation Sexual – 3 Tips appeared first on How To Win With Women.

One thing I’ve learned doing dating coaching over the last 16 years, and that’s this:

Most men (and women!) have almost NO CLUE about how attraction between the sexes really works.

Now, when I say NO CLUE – I mean that they THINK they understand it, and PRETEND to understand relationships, but honestly don’t. I think it’s mostly because they don’t want to seem like they’re ignorant to the other 98% of the population that is also pretending to know what they’re doing.

Most of the guys who pretend to know how to date a lot of girls will give you the same lame advice:

• “Dude, you gotta be confident…”
• “You gotta know how to talk to women…”
• “You gotta know how to dress…”
• “You gotta…”

Well, sad to say that half of these guys are usually “naturals” with women (meaning they intuitively have gotten women without knowing what the $#&% they are doing, or they’re good looking.)

The other half are guys that don’t really have ANY skill with women, but just happen to have a girlfriend at the moment. Which means they’re currently doing 100% better than you, and they think that entitles them to tell you “how the game works.”

My sales mentor from years ago once told me:

“Don’t ever take advice from someone who’s not doing what you want to be doing. Or has what you want.”

I’d add to that:

“Don’t take advice from lucky fools.”

They don’t know, but they’re pretend it was all skill, and then they’ll confuse and ruin you.

Instead, go to the guy who knows how it works – AND can explain it! That’s why you’re here, I’m assuming.

So if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why the hell can’t I get a girlfriend?” – I’m about to give you some earth-shaking revelations. Starting with:

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #1: You reek of desperation…

Now, before you dismiss this as not applying to you, let me remind you that NO ONE thinks they’re acting desperately. Unfortunately this is the delusion that is ultimately going to make them marry a woman WAY below they’re pay grade.

Desperation shows in many ways:

• Too eager
• Too “there”
• Too attentive

The sad fact is that many women can be snowed over with this behavior. Especially if she doesn’t get asked out a lot. She will likely be so starving for attention and to have a guy desire her that she can’t tell the difference between desperate neediness and romantic obsession.

To be fair, most guys don’t know the difference.

Which means you need to ask and find out if you’re coming across with a stench of clingy weirdness.

(This is also what people mean when they say you need to “be more confident.” Confidence is the polar opposite of desperation.)

Oh, and don’t ask your best ‘girl buddy’ about this. Chances are she’s only hanging around you because your lack of interest is challenging and attractive to her, OR she’s taken you on as a pet project.

Ask a guy who is known for telling the painful truth, not a friend. If you want the truth, go hunt it down.

Don’t believe the B.S. other people spew as gospel.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #2: You have no social proof…

Social proof is based on the idea of social influence, stating that people will conform in order to be liked or accepted by the influencer (or society).

What that’s saying is that if the group likes it, we like it. If the group accepts it, we tend to accept it.

That group can even be just one person that has a lot of influence.

So here’s the deal: Do you have people that know you and like you? You have to make sure women encounter you with those people.

A lone wolf approach is going to immediately brand you as unproven, strange, and not quite trustworthy.

If you have no friends, that should be your first order of business – WAY before finding a girlfriend. If you did manage to get a girlfriend with no social circle of your own, she’s going to lose you faster than an ass rash, or ask you to join her Goth Facebook page.

Social proof defines humans in a social order. Think of it as your social “credit rating.”

And women want to know you’ve got the points…

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #3: You’re a victim of your own issues…

I talk to guys all the time that are perfectly fine looking, earn a good income, and just look fantastic – on paper.

But the second they go out on a date, or even manage to meet a woman, their weird emotional issues start getting triggered. I call this their “Weird Stuff.”

The do all kinds of things to ruin it for themselves:

• Get jealous, or needy…
• Get hung up on ONE girl that they can never have…
• Get critical and picky – basically pushing every girl away…
• Lose their willingness to stay clean and well shaven
• They start to get insecure and talk themselves into screwing it up

This list could be so long that it would literally break the page you’re reading it on. It also includes things like being too picky to avoid intimacy and connection, as well as a bunch of other “issues.”

The point is that every guy out there knows what his “stuff” is. And every single one of those guys is trying to cover it up with what I call “guy-makeup.” Women cover up imperfections in their face with makeup, and guys like this do the same thing by covering up their weird behaviors (and confidence issues) with guy-makeup.

If you’re going to get that girl, you have to work on yourself, chum. There’s nothing in the world that’s going to keep a woman from seeing through that.

Sooner or later, your Weird Stuff shows up.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #4: You have exactly NO balls…

These days guys seem to really run around in a constant fear of rejection. I’m not going to label generations, but you know what I’m talking about MILLENNIALS! 

I’m kind of kidding there… it’s just about every generation that expects women to walk up and approach THEM. They expect the woman to initiate.

Look, I’m sorry the media has completely misled you on this, but women’s equality does NOT mean she’s just been waiting for the go ahead to start hitting on you.

Men are the supply, and women are the demand.

Men want what women got, so they get to wait for us to step up and prove ourselves to them. It’s the way of nature, and you’re lack of courage won’t change that.

I was like this once myself. Secretly hoping that I could put on a dash of some secret cologne and women would just dog-pile on me.

IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

Anyone that promises this to you isn’t being up-front.

Sure, you can get women feeling attraction and fighting over you – but that takes some skills you probably don’t have right now. AND you still have to reach out and be seen by them in the first place.

So rather than hope you can skate by on a wish and a prayer, you’d be better off figuring out why women seem so scary to you that you can’t even talk to them.

Because if you’re a fraidy cat now, she’s going to make sure you really don’t have any balls in the relationship.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #5: You avoid social situations…

This includes avoiding groups of people for a wide variety of reasons, including the ones that start out with you self-identifying with your “Weird Stuff” I talked about above.

Look, I get it. I’m an introvert at heart. I get my recharge by being alone and playing video games and playing guitar.

A lot of guys who can’t get laid resort to reading and theorizing about the world a lot. They have very little actual practical experience because they want to avoid action. And the best delay tactic is to be stuck in never-ending book learning.

But ultimately, humans are social animals and need to socialize. Not only for friendships, but yeah – to get a girlfriend you need to meet people.

So you have to let go of your fears about social awkwardness a bit. I see a lot of guys who hold on to their solitary lifestyle and defend it with the fervor of a Southern Baptist Pastor on Sunday.

Stop avoiding people and relating to people. Drop your resistance – and you just might find that it’s not so bad as you think.

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #6: You’re a negative Nancy…

This reason for not having a girlfriend is similar to the antisocial one in #5 above. A lot of guys use negativity as a defense mechanism, too.

My personal flavor was one of angry sarcasm and dark humor. I came across as funny, but painfully so.

In the end, I didn’t attract anyone because I was so negative about things. The funny part was that I really wasn’t really a negative guy. I just did it for the laughs.

Once you let go of the anger and feelings of injustice that we men often wallow in, we’re more open to people.

Negativity will drown you in emptiness, so let go of that need to pre-judge the world…

Why can’t I get a girlfriend?  REASON #7: You have NO PLAN…

Let’s face it – most guys wing it.

I did.

I went for years thinking I could just “figure women out” and get what all the other guys were getting. I ended up so wrong that I almost jumped off a bridge.

So don’t ever delude yourself into thinking that love, sex, and relationships are subjects that you’re just “born knowing.”

NO one comes factory installed with the knowledge to attract women.

No one has a “map to my girlfriend” tattooed on their arm for easy reference.

That’s why I made a plan of my own.

I sat down and mapped out all the things you need to get a girlfriend in one easy reference tool…

Go get your copy here…

The post Why You Can’t Get A Girlfriend – 7 Reasons appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Women are attracted to masculine men, no matter what the media tries to tell you.

You’re going to hear more and more nauseating, confusing and ridiculous information that tells you to “condemn the patriarchy” and embrace someone else’s ‘vision’ (agenda) for the future.

Go ahead and listen to them, and read them if you like, but keep your critical thinking hat on.

Don’t let them confuse you from the truth about what women want.

Is this what a REAL man looks like?

Women want one thing and one thing only, no matter how much everyone tries to believe the opposite:

Women want real MEN.

What’s a ‘real man,’ anyway? Isn’t that subjective?

Doesn’t that just change depending on who you ask?

No, not really.

Masculine – AKA ‘manly’ – traits are fairly consistent.

In my 16 years of doing this dating advice for men gig, one thing I’ve noticed is that feminists (and women with issues – often the same people) rarely (like almost NEVER) challenge me. They seem to sense right off the bat that I’m fully grounded in my identity as a man. I don’t buy into their fluffy white idealistic new-age nonsense.

And yet I see men everywhere challenged in their identities, words, and actions.

It’s a shame, because these are otherwise solid and well-meaning guys. But they lack the fortitude and conviction in themselves to transmit a vibe of MAN to the outside world.

Now, I’m not some knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. I’m not some one-dimensional idiot from a 1940’s movie.

Nor do I rage with testosterone 24/7.

I’m sophisticated and peaceful. And I know a thing or two about cultivating the attitude that women love. That’s why I wrote this little manifesto today for you.

In honor of the passing of R. Lee Ermey (the amazing drill instructor from “Full Metal Jacket“) – this is going to feel a bit like boot camp to you.

Suck it up, Buttercup…

So let’s dig in right now with the 3 Steps to becoming the man women desire…

Become The Alpha Man – Step 1: Grow A Pair, Soldier…!

I’m profoundly disturbed by the culture of waffling, weaseling, and sneakiness I see in men around me every day. I think this was cultivated from too many hours poring over their social media. Trying to make themselves not feel jealous of other people’s lives… and failing.

Posting images of what you ate last night?

Seriously?

Food porn?

I could not give shit-one about that. Anyone else that “likes” that image of your quail-egg soup is also not caring; they’re simply conditioned by the Facebook Illuminati to hammer away at that button whether or not they care. They’ve trained our brain’s reward system to “get off” on our phones.

Realize This: People don’t really “like” something if all they had to do was spend a microsecond hitting a blue button…

What they were doing was yelling “Hey! I’m here! I matter! Don’t forget about me!” into the void.

That’s what most people are doing out there. Hoping that – in this mindless chatter of internet idiocy, we don’t get forgotten. After all, we all deserve to be celebrities!

Right?

WRONG. 

REMEMBER: 90% of the things people post in social media are the fake, smiley propaganda of their lives. They’re just as desperate, unhappy, and unfulfilled as everyone else. They’re just trying to make up a better marketing campaign so that you might not see it.

Social media is a lie.

The truly successful aren’t on Facebook or Instagram posting their successes – they’re living them.

Get your balls back and start to reclaim your confidence and convictions.

Stop living your life in the virtual world.

Start by drawing yourself up a list of the virtues you stand for. I’ll bet not one man in a hundred has ever done this, but it’s essential to who you are. (I’ve attached my complete list of virtues at the end of this article. Use them as your reference.)

Women are attracted – almost unconditionally – to a man who knows what he stands for. It’s the reason that women don’t test or push me around. They know I’m solid and grounded.

And they should know the same about you, soldier.

Take action. Get busy.

You’ve got a good 50 to 60 more years in you, if you don’t eat junk food and get diabetes by 25 like most of the new crop these days.

Go ask that chick out… stop worrying about “the perfect words.” (The Perfect Words  are simply the ones you actually say instead of think.)

She’ll say yes BECAUSE YOU ASKED with conviction, not because you waited 10 years for just the right thing to say to avoid rejection.

Go stir some things up and make a mess. The world gets down on its knees and unzips your pants when you jump in the game instead of trying to watch from your iphone.

“Conflict is a forge for the steel of your willpower.” – Carlos Xuma

Be The Man Women Want – Step 2: Get Out Of The Cry Closet…!

You’re still here, Private? Good! You haven’t rung the bell and quit? Fantastic!

Now drop your hanky, and cut that weepy crap.

Too much indulgence in sadness make a man pathetic.

I’m about as kind, compassionate, and loving as you’re ever going to find in a guy – so don’t mistake this for macho posturing.

But these days everyone seems to need their weepy emotions aired to everyone else because we all think our emotions matter more than anything.

NEWS FLASH! Emotions are an energy source for men. Not your ‘cry closet.’

Emotions are not your place to sulk and ruminate. That’s for women.

Every guy came fresh from the factory with a hot little pepper of anger inside that he needs to tame and utilize for his power. Your anger is a nugget of plutonium

And also – drop that crying crap right now. It’s like this new revolution encouraging men to start acting pathetic. You can FEEL your sadness, son. But you CONTAIN those emotions. Throw boundaries around them – and then channel them over to your batteries.

Crying is surrender.

Crying is “I give up.”

That’s how you feel when you do it, if you think back to how it feels on the inside. It’s a complete resignation that comes from your core.

And that is something no man can entertain. And after a while this reaction becomes rehearsed, and starts to turn you into a weak, rubbery … well, girl.

Look – that’s not an insult to women. Women can handle their emotional highs and lows – they’re used to riding them. It’s part of a woman’s nature to deal with vacillating emotions.

“If civilization had been left in female hands we would still be living in grass huts…”
– Camille Paglia (renowned feminist)

But men use their emotions as fuel for forward progress. We are the action that supports their emotional insight.

Again, FEEL your emotions – but do not DWELL on them!

(By the way – cry closets are a real thing that some universities have implemented for the wuss students that can’t handle their own emotions. And you should be a little shocked by that…)

Be An Attractive Alpha Man – Step 3: Drop the Mic…!

Okay, you made it to Step 3, so I’m promoting you Private FIRST CLASS.

And you’re ready to hear the one thing that’s gonna make panties drop around the world for you…

You need to drop your mic…

Be the man she’s been waiting for…

Yup, show-stopping commitment to your convictions means you speak your mind and drop the microphone.

Walk off stage, and get to work.

There is no dress-rehearsal for life. You’re in the mix right now, grunt.

So make a DECISION. That’s really what I’m talking ’bout here.

Stop waffling and start committing yourself to a story of your own making. Don’t wait for other people to choose for you. Because as Rush said in “Free Will”:

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

Plant your flag and stand for what you believe in. This is the source of that “confidence” everybody tells you to have to attract girls.

They’re right – though it’s not the false confidence of a “pickup line.” It’s the real, dyed-in-the-wool feeling of being VALID.

Worthy.

Only YOU can give yourself that, son.

Stake your claim…

Just check in with reality (such that it is) from time to time to make sure you’re not off on another delusion that the world made up to distract you.

Make sure you read classic literature for being a man:

• The Prince – Nicolo Machiavelli
• 48 Laws Of Power – Robert Greene
• Call of the Wild – Jack London
• Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
• Walden – Henry David Thoreau
• The Art Of War – Sun Tzu
• Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu (no relation to Sun.)

– or the writings of Seneca and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations (which is free on the web.) These guys had masculinity all sewn up and tattooed on their souls over 2000 years ago.

Being a man is an opportunity and a PRIVILEGE! Though, you might not know it from the way people talk these days.

• Ignore the politically charged deluded people out there trying to bend reality to their weaknesses…
• Ignore the obviously misguided masses who only want attention to their plight – whatever it is. (Frankly if it’s not starvation, your whining is just getting on everyone’s nerves.)
• Ignore the people who really only want to grab their own power and control you…

It’s time to drop your mic right now.

Make a decision to start living your life instead of projecting it at other people. Your life isn’t a rumor or a publicity stunt. It’s comprised of the time you’ve got to make your mark, soldier.

It’s what separates the boys from the men – and it’s what makes women want them.

If you want to know more about the complete plan to be an Alpha Man, go here…

• Carlos X.

______________________

VIRTUES:

Wisdom

• Curiosity
• Love of learning
• Judgment
• Ingenuity
• Emotional intelligence
• Perspective

Courage

• Valor
• Perseverance
• Integrity

Humanity

• kindness
• Loving

Justice

• citizenship
• Fairness
• Leadership

Temperance

• Self control
• Prudence
• Humility

Transcendence

• Appreciation of beauty and excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Spirituality
• Forgiveness
• Humour
• Zest

The post 3 Steps To Becoming The Man That Women Want appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Texting women these days can be tricky…

You just don’t know what kind of response she will throw at you, and you need to know how to handle her testing. She’s always looking for a reason to poke and prod your act to see if you’re a real man with the ability to drive up her attraction – or destroy it.

In case you didn’t know, texting is a great way to drive up interest from a woman, but it’s also where most guys screw it up.

Here’s how:

• You text too frequently: Women know that a guy who’s texting them a lot in the first few days of meeting her is probably either needy, or just doesn’t have anything else going on. This communicates your social value…
• You text too long: Most guys write texts that are WAYYYY too many words. If you text anything that exceeds the 160 character limit, you’re looking like a try-hard…
• You text too much of the same jokey crap: Stop being a comedian all the time and vary it up. Send her a tease, followed by an insight, followed by your lunch choice… keep her guessing!

Let’s talk about 7 situations where you will need to text her, and how to handle each one. These 7 stealth texts will show you by example what to text a girl…

Starting with:

Stealth Text 2 – What To Text Her: The After-Text

After you meet a girl – in a bar, at a party, whatever – you need to cement yourself into her mind. Chances are, if she was attractive to you, she was attractive to other guys who talked to her that night.

No, huckleberry, you ain’t the only game in town…

You need to make sure you stand out in her mind so that she won’t wonder: “340-334-4145… Who the hell is this?”

In fact, if you’ve ever gotten a text from a girl that said “Who is this?” you know how far behind you are already. That’s one of the worst texts you can get from a girl. Period.

To stand out, you remind her with your name, something she laughed at that night, followed by a sign-off.

Here’s a great one:

“Hey, it’s Carlos – was great meeting you ‘Kittty kicker’ – Let’s reconnect this week…”

In this case, you two were joking about the story she told you about the time she accidentally kicked her sister’s cat. It’s a tease, and it’s perfect to use. Then you hint that you’ll be in touch.

Now she knows who you are, you reminded her of your confidence, and you’re perfectly setup for:

Stealth Text 2 – Text Her THIS: The Warmup Text

You gotta follow up and reconnect with her, ideally within 24-48 hours. There’s a lot of debate on this on the Internet, but take it from Uncle Carlos – you don’t want her to forget you, so act quicker. Just do it with confidence.

You want to remind her again about your connection, and get her warmed up with this:

“Hey, Kitty… How’s your week going? I know you’re missing those laughs from Saturday…”

BOOM! She’s reminded, and you even managed to squeeze in a little callback to that tease about kicking the cat. Without being obnoxious, by the way.

Be careful you don’t overdo any particular tease too many times. It’s douchey.

Right after she responds to this, you hit her with:

Stealth Text 3 – What To Text Her: The Meetup Text

Yeah, baby – it’s time to slap this one on the ass and get it moving…

After her warmup response, you’re going to go for the meetup request. You have to see if this is going to go somewhere.

This step is HUGE – because if there’s anywhere it goes weird, it’s in this call to action step.

• If she’s into it, she’ll jump on it…
• If she’s hesitant, you’ll sense it…
• If she’s reluctant, you’ll KNOW it…

So send her this next:

“Going to the (name of brewery, restaurant, coffee shop, etc) tomorrow night – let’s get together!”

Then listen to her response, because it’s highly likely that she will throw out some random nonsense for you.

Just a note here: The best thing to do is to resist the urge to do too much convincing… Just plow forward with the assumption that she’s a LUNATIC if she doesn’t meet up with you.

By the way, if you believe too deeply that YOU are the one who would be lucky if SHE agrees, you gotta do some inner game work, my friend.

Stealth Text 4 – Send This Text: The Plow Forward Text

When a girl tests you by resisting, what she wants to see is sincerity in your efforts to woo her. Women don’t believe your words, they believe the meaning they get from the ATTITUDE behind the words… and your actions, of course.

Women are INTERPRETIVE creatures, which means they read into you based on the vibe you give off.

The words of this text are less important than the attitude.

So here’s a really good attitude text to plow her forward:

“Are you crazy? We’re gonna have such a great conversation & you’re stalling? You’re so cute…! What time can you meet me?”

If she insists on pushing you back and not committing (which is still highly likely), you should pick up the phone and TALK to her. Never let a girl get away with pushback. Hearing your voice will make it real. Right now you’re just words on a screen.

Don’t be a chicken-sh*t and avoid talking to her because you’re afraid to confront these things and deal with them, you dig?

Chances are high that she will give in and agree when she hears a real voice.

Next up:

Stealth Text 5 – What To Text Her: The Reminder Text

The younger the girl, the more likely she will no-show you. It’s nothing personal, she’s just playing out her mindless automatic program.

So you want to make sure she feels like complete crap if she does flake on you.

This one is a little edgy, but you can pull it off:

“Hey, I promised the sick kids at the hospital we’d be there at 7:30 to cheer them up, so you better be on time! ;-)”

If you don’t get a response to your text – no matter what you send – you still want to show up at the place you agreed.

However, you need to get a friend to be there with you in case she does flake. This way you won’t feel dumb, and you’ll be able to let it go quicker.

And if she shows, you look more socially desirable. Just introduce your friend, then bid him farewell.

You can also send a more gentle reminder like this:

“Hey girl… no flake-outs, I’ll see you tonight at 7:30… ;-)”

If she texts anything but an enthusiastic “I’ll be there” – you should call her again and go voice.

Stealth Text 6 – How To Text Her: The Running Late Text

This one is a great way to demonstrate value AND remind her of her obligation. If you think you have this girl pretty well locked in, send her this… it will drive up your value and her investment in you:

“Hey, girl… wanted to be a little early, but running a few minutes behind… See you there”

This is great for a reminder text because it shows you’re not too needy.. and if she’s got any BS to throw at you about flaking, now is when she’ll tell you.

Stealth Text 7 – What To Text A Girl: The Finisher Text

When your date is over, you want to finish up right where we started this whole thing – with a text that will cement you in her head as the man she wants.

Of course, this is assuming that you aren’t already in a position to just roll over and talk to her at the end of the night…

By the end of this one-on-one date, you better have impressed her enough to be memorable.

If you don’t know how to do it, you need to learn about Sexual Sparks – and how to push her brain into attraction for you.

With this finisher text, you’re going to be a little bit more cocky, with the purpose of making her value YOU as the prize.

Don’t be arrogant! Just be cocky & funny…

Try this 2-part text:

Part A: “OK that was probably THE best time you’ve had all year…”

Part B: “You’re kinda fun, too! Just don’t start stalking me yet…”

Let her say whatever she’s going to say, just don’t read into it too deeply. Let these texts sit with her for a good 15-20 minutes before you even THINK of replying.

Another mistake guys make is, in their eagerness to get a girl to text them back or like them, they text her back WAY too soon.

Wait at least a few minutes before responding to a girl. If you have any questions why, just remember the last time YOU texted a girl and had to wait for what seemed like an eternity for her response. That time she’s waiting, she’s thinking about you.

Driving up her attraction and desire in the process.

There you go, my friend. You’re now in a position of high value if you followed this chain to the end.

But there’s so much more you need to know to make sure you can handle any of the curve balls she throws you…

Go watch this quick video presentation –

And discover the secret to uncontrollable sexual desire…

The post What To Text A Girl – 7 Stealth Texts To Attract Women appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Life would be a helluva lot easier if you could just open an app on your phone and it would show you all the women around you that were into you.

Problem is, that app is a long way off in the future. So instead of wishing on a dream, why don’t we talk about the real world?

If you want to know if a chick likes you, you need to know what signs to watch for.

Let’s start with:

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #1: She’s whipping her mane…

There’s a great scene in Charlies Angels (the movie from way back) where Lucy Liu advises Cameron Diaz to “flip your damn hair.” Cameron does, and the guy loses his mind for her.

To be fair, Cameron would only have to show up for guys to lose it over her, but whatever.

That hair-flip maneuver works, though. It’s part of a whole set of actions women take subconsciously that give away her true interest level in you.

It’s called Primping. These are body language “tells” that show how much she wants you.

She’ll do stuff like:

• Flip her hair
• Play with her straw
• Giggle
• Fix her blouse
• Fix her hair

The list is really endless. Just watch out for those signs she’s giving off that tell you she’s lovin’ it…

How to tell if a girl is digging you – Signal #2: She’s smiling more than the Joker…

The reality of a woman’s interest is that she’s going to go a little over board to make sure you get the hint that she’s interested in you. Women usually put out way too many signals to count when she’s ready to play.

Smiling is one of those things she won’t be able to help herself from doing. She’ll smile a lot to show her happiness.

• Happy that she found a guy she didn’t have to lose like a case of the crabs…
• Happy that she doesn’t have to sit there alone and wonder if every person in there is judging her because she’s not talking to someone…

Happiness is going to show as a smile on her face.

If she looks too serious, you should consider that a sign of disinterest – especially if she isn’t ponying up some conversation to keep things going.

How to tell if a girl likes you – Signal #3: She’s confusing you…

On the other hand, a woman often doesn’t know how to make you understand she likes you without pulling away her interest every couple minutes.

This happens when she likes you, and starts showing that she likes you, and then realizes she’s showing her interest. Then she acts the opposite way to be “hard to get.” Mostly so she doesn’t have to feel like a “slut.”

Look, I didn’t make them like this. I know it sounds kind of crazy.

But that’s how women think. 

They’re riding this insane roller coaster of emotions in their head (all self-generated emotions, mind you – but she wouldn’t believe that.) And she doesn’t realize how her actions reflect the awkward and irrational stuff in her head.

So if she’s confusing you with hot & cold signals, you can assume that there’s some interest there. If she wasn’t interested at all, you would only get the not-interested version of her.

How to tell if a girl wants you – Signal #4: She’s Laughing…

Not laughing AT you, but with you.

This is kind of a cliche, but it’s true. Women don’t want to lead guys on, so she won’t laugh at anything you’re saying if she’s not genuinely interested.

How to tell if a girl is attracted to you – Signal #5: She’s All Touchy…

If she’s suddenly touchy-feely with you, she’s got to be considering you as a romantic interest. Women don’t usually get physical with a guy they’re not at least a little interested in.

Now there’s another reason that women do this, and that’s to “Stir The Pot.”

You see, women like to provoke things to find out what emotions are involved. She’s wondering if she has any power or control over you, and she might be doing this to see how you’ll respond. If you get too touchy back, she’ll shut you down.

So just take it in stride and stay relaxed.

How to tell if she wants you – Signal #6: She’s Jealous…

If you talk to another girl and she gets snippy or weird on you, chances are:

1. She’s interested – and
2. She’s triggered…

By triggered, I mean that she’s got some emotional baggage that just came to the surface.

A lot of women have weirdness around handling situations with another woman in the picture. Either she’s been cheated on before, or she’s got some insecurities about relationships with competition in them.

Either way, it’s a good sign to start out with. But stay frosty and keep an eye out that she doesn’t have a psycho vibe underneath that. Sometimes a woman’s crazy will completely overtake her interest and feelings for you, and it will get weird – fast.

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #7: She hunts you down…

If a girl is interested in a guy, she will not want to take a chance that you’ll find someone else and ditch her. Women HATE lost opportunities.

So watch for her to actively try to get back with you. If you’re in a bar or club, she’ll find you. Or make her way back to you in some way.

She will have to do it by breaking away from her clique of chick friends, though, so be on the lookout for her. If she’s trying, you have to jump back in once you’ve confirmed she’s searching.

But also realize that if she’s hot, she doesn’t need to hunt anyone down.

Keep an eye out for her interest, and act while you’ve got her interest pointed toward you…

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #8: She points out the coinky-dinks…

If she’s liking you, she’s also going to seize any opportunity to send a signal to you that says: “Hey, this is destiny!”

She’ll pick up on any random thing that you both like, no matter how stupid.

“Hey, we both like breathing and eating food!”

Okay, maybe not that stupid, but you’ll know it when you hear it. She’ll point out simple, stupid things that connect you.

Like:

• Same taste in music
• Same taste in TV shows
• Same taste in food
• Same taste in drinks

You get the picture.

By the way, if you spot something she likes that’s particularly obscure – and you like it – you should point it out. She’ll take it as a sign.

Or … not.

How to tell if a girl is into you – Signal #9: She’s giving you verbal signals…

Women are both subtle AND predictable when it comes to language…

She will say things that are meant to be a green light for you to move forward with her. And if you don’t catch these signals, you might lose your shot. She only opens her window of interest for a short time, and she expects YOU to know when that happens!

Now, you have to know how to talk to a woman to find out if she’s giving you these signals. Otherwise, you’ll be waiting and hoping for them to show up. And that could be a long time coming…

The best thing you can do is know all the signals to look for – AND how women are triggered to feel attraction for you.

I’ve just put the finishing touches on a program that was designed to help you understand how to hack the game of romance with women.

Don’t do what the other guys are doing – playing the game randomly. As they say, the house ALWAYS wins over suckers.

Instead, get the upper hand – and get that special girl… 

Watch this free presentation on The Sexual Sparks… 

Discover The Secret To Uncontrollable Sexual Desire

The post How to tell if a girl is into you… 9 Signals appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Sometimes it seems like finding a good woman is like finding a $20 bill in an old coat…

Rare, unexpected, and a welcome surprise.

The truth is that it’s harder and harder to find a woman who “gets it” when it comes to men. Most women today were raised by women who were raised by single-moms, or had weak role models when it came to masculinity.

Would she consider this a real man?

It’s super rare to find women who understand, accept, and celebrate men.

These days, all you hear are feminist rants against the “patriarchy.”

All you hear about in the news media are stories about men (usually celebrities) misbehaving. (Kudos to Fox news for at least trying to balance the scales a bit.)

Look, guys can act pretty nasty when left to their own devices… but most guys are good men. Most women will probably assume the opposite, though.

So if you want to find a quality girlfriend, I won’t kid you – it’s going to be a challenge.

But if you have the ability to attract women – and regularly – you’ll find it’s not too bad. You’ll be able to run the numbers and get more “prospects” into your field of vision than other guys these days.

That’s why I created my programs – to offer you the best shot at finding a quality woman to make your girlfriend.

Let me be clear about this:

The most important decision a man makes is who he makes his partner… 

It starts at the girlfriend stage, my friend.

A bad relationship will weigh you down…

Let me give you a few quick signals that she’s NOT for you:

1. She crimps or slows your personal growth.
   This one is sometimes tricky to spot, but you’ll notice it eventually. If her needs and crazy bullshit are getting in the way of you being a better man, you better re-assess that relationship. The woman you partner with should be helping YOU move forward in life. Not at the expense of herself, mind you. But she should be thinking about YOUR betterment as much as she’s trying to clutch for a 2 carat ring.
2. She’s not fun. 
   This one is EASY to spot. But the funny thing is that a lot of guys will discount this signal and ignore it.
   Why? Because most guys will put up with an amazing amount of sh*t just to get laid. Trust me, if you’re sticking with a whiney, drama-laden chick who’s about as much fun as food poisoning, you better start working on your exit visa, chum. Fun and honest were the top requirement for guys age 20-50, and for good reason.
3. She doesn’t have your back.
   Loyalty. It’s gold when it comes to relationships. If she doesn’t back you up and wear a team jersey with your name on it, lose her like 1st period French. When the going gets tough, you need to know she’s not going to skate out of town with your best friend. Women project a nice image of wholesomeness, but they are just as sly and deceptive as guys when it comes to getting their needs met. So find one that you can rely on.

So many rules, so many signals. There are way more than 3 of them, but that’s a quick start.

Now let’s talk about the 3 Steps to find a girlfriend you can rely on…

Find Your Dream Girlfriend – STEP 1: Stick To The Plan

By now, if you’ve been reading any of my articles, or watching my videos, you know that you need to have a plan. I give you a clear, complete plan in my Get A Girlfriend program, but let me summarize some of the key points:

• Know what you want.
  If you’re dating with no idea of which woman would be a good fit for you, you’re asking for trouble. You need to know what her hobbies will be, what kind of attitude you want, what her child-rearing philosophy is, etc. If you don’t know, you better figure it out now, or you might be figuring it out in a long, painful custody battle. I kid you not.
• Have A 3-Date Plan
  You want to give her a full 3 dates to impress you. If you don’t feel that it’s a good fit, move on. You won’t know immediately on the first date (don’t trust your first impression, unless she really blows it) – but by the third date you’ll know if she’s worth keeping.
• Stay Away From Bars
  Bars, clubs, and alcohol are relationship killers, my friend. The girl you want isn’t there. And keep your consumption of “mind dulling” substances to a minimum. Stay sharp and frosty. This is a job interview you’re holding on those first dates. Don’t let her snow you over.
• Know what questions to ask.
  Most guys wing it when it comes to conversation. Don’t be a schmuck… you have to know what to ask her to find out the truth about her. You can’t ask her a direct question like: “So what do you want from a relationship?” She’ll give you that rehearsed crap you hear on every lame Match.com profile. Use my power questions from my how to talk to women strategies and you’ll be Golden.
• Forget the “Dream girl” stuff.
  Yeah, I know it’s in the title. I just want you to keep your head on straight. Don’t get delusions about nailing some porn star. Nobody stays married to that kind of woman for very long. Find a grounded, cute girl next door that’s not a 64 ounce can of CRAZY and you’re ahead of 90% of the guys out there.

Find Your Girlfriend – STEP 2: Get Serious…

Most guys that I coach one-on-one have some common barriers that I end up having to break down for them. I call these the “belief barriers” that stop them from doing what’s necessary to get past their B.S.

What are these barriers? Let me share a few:

• BARRIER 1: “Yeah, but…”
  This is what a lot of guys say to me when I tell them EXACTLY what to do to sculpt themselves into a lethal weapon of sexual power. I’ll tell them: “Lose the lumberjack/hipster beard. Chicks don’t like kissing that tangled mass of fur.” And he says: “Yeah, but… I like it/I don’t wanna/I just want to be myself/etc.”
  Look, “being yourself” is really just another bullshit way guys excuse themselves out of the reality that they’re attached to a dumbass view of who they REALLY are. You’re not your beard, or your clingy material attachments. “YOU” is a highly fluid concept.
  Later on you can grow that crumb-catching beard back. But for now you have to put those indulgences on hold. You just look like a guy who’s too stuck in his habits – and has ZERO flexibility.
• BARRIER 2: Won’t go the mile.
  A lot of guys have more lame limits on what they’re willing to do than I can sometimes fathom. If you’re meeting one woman each weekend, that’s not bad. But if you meet three each weekend, you just tripled how quickly you’re going to find one that’s worth keeping.
  The Navy Seals have a rule that you can do 2.5 times what you think you can do right now. You’ve just got a lot of faulty belief systems – and a comfort zone that is keeping you stuck. So drop the self-imposed limits and push yourself a little. There’s no growth in your comfort zone. And the girlfriend you want isn’t sure as heck isn’t ringing doorbells looking for you in your neighborhood.
• BARRIER 3: No Self-Growth.
  Remember when I said that you don’t want a woman that will hold you back from growing? You want to know why most guys don’t look for that as a red flag? Because they secretly don’t want to grow. These guy like that a woman makes them feel all snuggly in their stagnant pool of BORING… So they close their eyes and jump into marrying one of these shrews and realize their mistake too late.
  Start by committing yourself to a path of self-growth. Hey, you got nothing else to do with your time other than bore yourself to sleep on Netflix every night, so why not skip that 3rd watching of Altered Carbon and read a book for an hour? You’ll be ten times more interesting on dates when you have stuff to talk about.
  And women LOVE it when a guy sets the bar for her. That’s her definition of sexy.

Find A Girlfriend – And Maybe Something More –
STEP 3: Get Your Inner Game HANDLED…

A lot of guys ask me what “Inner game” is vs. “outer game.”

Outer Game is:

• Your wardrobe and clothes
• Your grooming
• Your attitude
• Your lines and “routines…”

Inner Game is:

• Your confidence – AKA how you project your own certainty about yourself.

Now the thing about outer game is that you can’t have it without solid INNER game.

The problem is that guys would MUCH rather memorize the words than do the work of getting the confidence they need. But then they just end up realizing that the words and inner game stuff doesn’t really matter when you get the inner stuff handled.

That’s the funny thing about the whole game of dating…

But the beauty is that you can actually get BOTH going – Inner and Outer game. It’s a style I call R.E.A.L. Game . 

And it works better than anything else out there.

If you want to discover the kind of game that makes women infatuated with you after just a single conversation, then you should go watch this short presentation…

It’s free, and it will show you exactly how to get the girlfriend you want… 

It’s all in the Sexual Sparks!

The post Find The Girlfriend Of Your Dreams – 3 Steps No One Taught You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

But I don’t care.

I didn’t write this article to enable a bunch of low self-esteem guys to have more reasons to dislike women, or to paint women in a negative light. Many women aren’t even aware they employ these tactics directly.

In fact, there’s a whole bunch of women who DO know about them, and refuse to use them.

There’s a saying you might not have heard: “Female cunning surpasses male understanding any day of the week.”

I’m telling you this because you need to know that women aren’t always angels, and an innocent guy can get pulled into a rather unhappy situation if he doesn’t keep his eyes open when he’s out there dating.

I’m not telling you anything you probably don’t already know – BUT you might not know that this “man-ipulative” skill is something that is scientifically established.

Manipulation isn’t necessarily bad, by the way. It’s just that people don’t like to get played by others.

And the fact is that manipulation is one of the most effective methods for getting you want out of life.

Let’s trace this back along evolutionary lines.

Women have never had the physical strength men do. They simply don’t.

And don’t you believe those silly Hollywood movies where Zoe Saldana kicks the ass of a man three times her size with “Waif-Fu.” (That’s the magical martial art that all these ridiculously small women in action movies use to take down guys that outweigh them 3:1.)

Yeah, there are some very strong women out there. But pound for pound, women don’t have the same kind of physical strength.

That’s not misogyny – it’s just the truth of the matter.

I still meet guys that think that female action heroes are totally believable – much less the male ones.

Now, over the tens of thousands of years that humans have been evolving, women figured out that they had another kind of power… something far more effective than physical strength.

They discovered the power of social manipulation.

Take, for instance, the amazing story of Paris Hilton.

Did you know that she was a tomboy when she was younger?

And her voice is actually deep and husky?

That’s right – the woman you might peg for being a complete idiot is actually a lethal businesswoman. She’s earned hundreds of millions of dollars without relying once on her family’s Hilton Hotels fortune.

She’s smart, savvy, and a first-rate manipulator.

This brings us to the first trick women use to manipulate men:

Women will raise the pitch of their voice when they’re asking for a favor or to convince a man to do something.

This raising of the voice makes her seem more effeminate, and more childlike – which elicits a response from almost all men.

Paris used this trick as a kid to get her parents to buy her pets.

If she really wanted something, she’d say: “Daddy, I really want this!” – and raise her voice to a high, sweet note.

If she got a boyfriend mad at her, she would say – in a baby voice: “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to.” This sweet talk would get every guy to forgive her almost instantly.

You see, acting childlike appeals to a certain fantasy in a man’s mind – and it works like crazy to get you to do what she wants.

(YOUR girl, that is. Not Paris. I’m assuming you’re not dating her right now.)

A high sweet voice evokes a feeling of youthfulness, innocence, and being unassuming.

When used with a pet name for you, and the next two tricks, you don’t stand a chance.

This now brings us to the second trick women use to manipulate guys:

Women will act dumb and play on your “rescuer” drive to get you to do things for them.

Yes, guys – I know this one will be a shocker.

A lot of women put on that ditzy, airhead act – throwing the word “like” between every word – just to get you to think you’re the big strong MAN who can protect her.

She’ll sometimes slip in some praise for you to make you feel even more enabled and capable.

“Is my big strong man going to buy smoopsie another Appletini?” she says, pouting and looking like a lost puppy.

One of the alternate ways a woman will look helpless to manipulate men is through crying.

Yeah, every guy cringes when she pulls out the big guns like that. It’s been shown that men literally have an instinctive reaction to a woman crying.

Just take note of how easily women go to tears, and how quickly men rush in – or give in – to make it stop.

There’s really only one way to stop that hot blonde from crying – especially if she means anything to you… and that’s giving in.

I hate to tell you this, and I’m not trying to take a cheap shot here, but your mom probably has a PhD in using tears to get her way. Mothers know this trick best.

And finally, the THIRD trick women use to get you do what she wants:

She will touch you – in suggestive, but not sexual ways.

You may have seen a girl manipulate her boyfriend this way. Or just a girl who wants to work a few free drinks at a dance club.

What she’ll do is to find ways to slip in small demonstrations of affection for you. Just enough to give you a little hope that you might stand a chance with her.

But if you try to act on what seems like romantic interest, she backs off and cools you off in a way that makes YOU feel like an idiot who misinterpreted her signals.

But she WAS giving them off, my friend. Oh yes.

Some of the ways she does this are to run her fingers through your hair…

Or maybe she’ll hold your hand for a few seconds to give you a thrill…

Or rub your back – sometimes using her nails a bit to make it more arousing.

She also knows that getting her head close to yours is a way to give you a surge of adrenaline – and hope. If she throws in a little eye contact with any of these, you’re as good as gone, my friend.

Women know the fine line between sexual touch, and suggestive touch. And she’ll use the latter to get you all hot and bothered, then conveniently go cold and disappear when she gets what she wants.

Keep in mind that culturally it’s accepted that women can touch men as they like, but it’s not like that for guys. We have to wait for the green light – and she controls that, too.

By the way – not that you need to verify this – I’m sure your common sense will tell you this is all dead-on true…

But if you need to see this stuff working, just go to ANY strip club in the world. You’ll see the girls using every sexually manipulative tool in the book.

They need to do this to get you to buy their “wares” – the lap dance, the attention…

I took my friend down to San Francisco recently for his bachelor party, and his friends were amazed at my ability to shut down ANY stripper who was trying to game me – and I did it with one look and one short phrase: “Not right now, honey.”

They saw the look in my eyes, the look that explained in no uncertain terms:

“Yeah, I see what you’re doing – and I’m not a sucker for it, sweat-pea. Move along.”

Now, truth be told, this is only 3 of MANY weapons of mass seduction that women use on guys. I’ll cover a few of the others in the future.

But for now, these are the Power Trinity of manipulative tricks that women pull out on a whim to get what they want.

The real threat isn’t that she’s going to use them on you, though.

No…

What’s more of a threat to you is that you’ll read this article, and you’ll even recognize when she uses it on you the next time…

And you won’t give a damn.

You’ll go along with it if there’s a chance – no matter how slight – that she’s going to sleep with you.

Hey, maybe she will… maybe she won’t.

But forewarned is forearmed, as they say.

Use this knowledge to stop yourself from getting played and used, because there are a lot of women who will take advantage of their sexual wiles. And they’ll take advantage of you.

So be smart – stay frosty…

And always be smarter than they think you are, as my good friend says.

Here’s one way to stay ten moves ahead of them – it’s a course called The Bad Boy Formula, and it has several key strategies to make sure you’re always on top of your game.

While the three tricks we just talked about are the BIGGEST ones you have to watch out for, there are plenty of OTHER feminine traps you need to avoid too. Of course, my program has ALL of those covered so you’ll never fall flat on your face ever again.

Finally, date out of your league…

Click HERE to attract and seduce HOTTER women, starting TODAY

The post 3 Ways Women Manipulate Men appeared first on How To Win With Women.

When I say “really” – I mean sexually attracted. Like – she wants to tackle you, throw you into bed, and have her wicked ways with you for eight hours straight…

Okay, maybe that’s over the top…

Look, maybe you’ve had the experience of going out on a date with a girl, and maybe you bought her flowers – chivalrous chap that you are.

But then you meet up with her, and she looks at you with a weird expression that says you must have done something wrong. And even if you don’t think you did, you feel like it.

And it SUCKS.

Maybe she gives you a polite “thanks” and takes them, but you can tell she isn’t as impressed as you thought.

Or maybe she tells you, “Thanks, but you’re trying a little hard.”

Which is closer to the truth.

Hey, man – you didn’t know!

And aren’t chicks supposed to like that crap?

Well, don’t get depressed, my friend. I’m going to guide you through a few of the ways that men can be more attractive to women – without trying hard.

Dating is confusing enough without knowing the “New Rules” for making a girl interested in you.

How to attract her – #1: Make her feel excited and ALIVE…

This is the feeling of being energized – and there are a lot of ways to accomplish it.

For one, there’s making her laugh. Laughter is one of those rare human experiences that accomplishes quite a bit – psychologically as well as physically.

Laughing wakes you up…

Laughter makes you relax…

And laughter has a nice side benefit of making you healthier at the same time.

However, the relaxation AND energizing effects are the ones that you should be most interested in.

Laughing also creates a sense of familiarity and bonding with people that has yet to be fully understood. But one thing’s for sure: It’s a shortcut into a woman’s emotional core – and one that you should use.

There are other ways of getting her feeling excitement, but laughter is the one that women consistently desire from men, time and time again.

Face it – Laughter is attractive.

And laughter will make her putty in your hands…

Attraction principle #2: Make her feel safe and secure…

Look, most guys don’t have a clue what it’s like for women out there these days. Or any days, for that matter.

Even though things are safer for most women (at least in developed countries) – you have to realize that girls are constantly aware that most men can overpower them at any given moment.

Which isn’t meant to be a downer, but it is true.

And it’s also not something guys have to worry about at all. Sexual assault is still mainly focused at females.

So you need to present yourself in as non-threatening a way as possible at all times.

Don’t ever make any jokes that deal with violence or issues that a woman might consider threatening. And there are a lot.

No, you don’t want to have to walk on eggshells all the time, but you do need to be sensitive that a girl is constantly on her guard against physical threats.

And she also knows that men are the most likely to commit them.

So be gentle, and be aware that she’s going to need to know “Are you safe?” before she’s going to let her guard down enough to feel attraction.

How to get her – #3: Make her feel free and uninhibited…

Girls are burdened by another kind of pressure. It’s the pressure to be the “angel” and the “good girl.”

She feels constrained and imprisoned in this image that society has of her.

What she really wants is to be free of those expectations and limitations so she can do what she wants to do. But she rarely gets that opportunity.

One of the best ways you can help her feel free is to make sure she never feels like you’re judging her, or evaluating her against this ideal.

Make it clear that you accept her just as she is. And you might even try hinting that you know she’s not this image, and she gets into trouble from time to time.

It’s also another way to get her to lower her guard around you.

Make her feel attraction – Tip #4: Ignore those “switches”…

There’s a lot of talk these days about “attraction triggers” and “switches” and stuff like that.

Do women really have psychological “triggers” that make her behave a certain way?

Well, not if you think about her as being like a robot that will just do your bidding. You can’t just reach into her skull and get her to dance for you.

The best way you can embrace this is to stop viewing her as like a remote control car you’re trying to steer, and instead create that safe and warm space where she can feel good about herself.

It’s not a place where she’s manipulated, it’s where she feels like she’s whole.

And happy to “switch” on her own attraction, once she knows you’re a good man that can be her ally, not a “frenemy.”

Attraction response – Tip #5: Remember that you are a whole, not a set of separate parts…

A lot of guys run around assuming that if they just act confident, learn this great pickup line, and wear these clothes – that this will make women attracted to him. Like a combination on a lock.

The truth is that girls see through pickup artist routines for this reason.

If a guy isn’t an integrated, whole man, his “techniques” start to look just like tricks. They don’t feel real, they feel like something he tacked on to make it work.

I was guilty of this when I first started learning what women want, and how to make girls feel attracted to me. When I stopped trying to act like a guy women want and started BEING that guy, I started to get dates.

So don’t behave like you’re just a Lego man made up of all these separate bricks. Instead, behave like a guy who’s all one being, and you’ll come across with a completely different vibe.

Get her feeling desire – #6: Don’t conceal and pretend – open up…

Ooh, this one is BIG.

A big mistake that a lot of guys make is to take various tricks and “attraction strategies” and then layer them on like makeup – to hide the insecure and often unhappy man that’s under it all.

I coached a guy up in Seattle many years ago about this very same thing. He had started reading about pickup artists, and the possibility that he could become this “sex god.”

He divorced his wife of 5 years, and then started this mission to become good at this skill of getting women into bed.

But here it was – 2 years later – and he wasn’t getting anywhere.

Why?

Because he was using all this stuff he’d filled his head with in order to cover up the guy he was secretly ashamed to be. And as a result, he just looked like a needy guy who just wanted sex.

For those of you who might not have guessed, this is not something any woman finds attractive. Unless she’s gullible, developmentally disabled, and maybe drunk.

You have to reveal yourself to women for them to trust you – because only a secure and strong man can show who he really is to women. It’s a kind of fearlessness that women understand is TRUE strength of character.

How to get her wanting to be with you – Tip #7: Recognize her one true motivator: Emotion

Girls choose one man over another not because he’s “hot” or he’s slick…

She chooses the man she will be with because of one reason only:

How he makes her FEEL.

Emotional engagement is the name of the game when it comes to building attraction with a girl you met.

I went to go see a Pixar movie in the theaters recently. I realized that there are maybe a half dozen computer animated movies released each year now, but Pixar movies are the best.

Why?

Because they get the one thing that matters most: Feelings and Emotions are what people want to experience.

Slick visuals are cool, but empty and cold. (I’m sure you could list at least a dozen movies like this, right? The last 3 Star Wars movies that George Lucas made come to my mind.)

That’s how women experience life – through their emotional lens. And if you can’t give her an attractive emotional experience, she’s going to ignore you and move on.

Kick the tires, and light the fires, man…

It’s the only way you’re going to get her turned on for you.

And if you’d like to learn more about how to make women feel this attraction to the point where they’ll BEG YOU to be your girlfriend, there’s a way to make that happen in HALF the time.

It’s my new program called Get a Girlfriend Fast, and you’ll skip the usual roadblocks and typical B.S. that slow down a lot of guys – or stop them dead in their tracks.

Learn the THREE DEADLY MISTAKES than other men make – avoid becoming a dating statistic by clicking HERE.

The post 7 Ways To Be Attractive To Girls appeared first on How To Win With Women.

If she starts out thinking of you as a friend, you’re doomed.

It is possible to break out of that friends zone, but you shouldn’t let yourself get put there in the first place.

It’s like having to start a football game with a penalty in the first few seconds. You’re going to be behind from the very beginning.

Why let that handicap mess up your game when you can avoid it?

So if you’ve got your eye on her, I want to help you get the girl.

And get her fully wanting you back.

Here are a few tips – a few ways to get the girl liking you right from the first time you meet her:

Win The Girl – Tip 1: Listen to her until she squirms

One of the things I do that works so well to make women respond to me sexually is that I do something that I call OVER-listening.

I ask a woman a question, and then I listen to her answer. REALLY listen.

If she hesitates or fumbles, I’m there to ask another question to help keep her going. At a certain point, she’ll reach critical mass and sustain the whole thing.

At some point, she’s going to get self-conscious about how much she’s been talking. She’ll say something like: “OK, and now I think I’m just talking too much.” (Nervous laughter.)

That’s when I just smile and nod. Because I’ll know that I’ve successfully OVER listened to her.

And then I’ll keep doing that over and over. Because each time, she’ll be convincing herself that there’s something different about our conversation.

“No one ever listens this much…”

“I wonder what he’s thinking about me?”

Self-consciousness can be a good thing, because that means she’s switched her attention – putting her focus on justifying the attention.

She’s going to think of you as the only guy that’s paid any attention to her like this.

She’ll still check in every so often to make sure she isn’t spending too much time talking, but you just reassure her and let her talk herself into you.

When You Want To Win The Girl – Tip 2: Win her friends

Now, this may not be intuitive for most guys, because once we’ve set our targets on a girl, the only thing we see is her from the vary beginning.

Unfortunately, if you stop paying attention to her friends, you’re going to lose a valuable opportunity.

You see, women are competitive. Not like guys are competitive, though.

Men like to compete head-to-head, and see who comes out the victor. It’s in our DNA.

Girls, on the other hand like to compete for men – and attention. BUT they never want to be seen as competing.

So when you make friends with her friends you’re killing two birds with one stone. You’re making them your allies – and you’ll want them on your side later on.

Because your girl will be asking them about what they think.

Not to mention that you don’t want her friends “slut shaming” her later. You want them as allies.

But you’ll also be making her friends into competition for the girl you want. Your girl will perceive any woman that likes you as potentially a threat to you.

Which means she’ll work harder now to win you over.

Just be careful you don’t make it too obvious on your part that you’re flirting or trying to win them over, because the girl you want might give you grief over it. Be subtle and smooth about it.

Get the girl – Tip 3: The Old Push – Pull

A lot of guys have experienced this from his side of talking to a girl.

If a woman seems like she’s sending “mixed messages,” or acting “hot & cold,” or there’s a strange push-me/pull-you dance going on, it’s not that she’s being weird or manipulative – at least not usually.

Women try to express interest from a DEFENSIVE posture.

Read that again – it’s important…

Women try to express sexual interest in men from a defensive position. This allows her to pay attention to her built-in threat detection mechanism.

This strange little contraption in her brain lets her avoid guys that push too hard.

And that’s what women do when you’re pushing too hard, they pull into their little turtle shell for safety. That’s when you feel her going a bit cold.

Maybe you really are a “nice” guy who won’t take advantage of her, but she doesn’t really have any way of knowing that when she first meets you.

She has to evaluate you firsthand – through her own senses.

The way to avoid this kind of frustrating dance with her is for YOU to do it first.

Yep, just like real dancing, girl’s are always more attracted to you when YOU take the lead. Instead of pushing until she retreats, you should be retreating on occasion to get her to reach out and pull you back in.

Which she will, if she’s at least partially interested in you.

If you want her to like you – Tip 4: Keep her beauty in the background

Here’s the deal – Most women from teenage years to her late maturity have been hit on quite a bit. A TON, in fact.

Most nice guys, on the other hand, are intimidated by beauty and won’t risk it.

So what she gets is a higher-than-normal percentage of losers constantly coming on to her and making her feel like a side of beef hung up in a meat (meet?) locker. She gets guys who CONSTANTLY tell her she’s beautiful, etc.

Mostly because these no-talent numbskulls really think they’re complimenting her by noting the obvious.

Most girls are mystified as to what men are really attracted to in her beyond her possession of a vagina, so she’s got a bit of a clueless streak when it comes to her own physical attractiveness.

The best thing you can do as a man is to reinforce her positive image of herself instead.

Ask her what she thinks her strongest quality is. Listen to her until it hurts, then listen some more.

(Remember? Over-listen.)

When she tells you, you remember this.

And then find a place later in the conversation to compliment her on it.

If it’s her compassion, then you get her to tell her about her friends, and I’ll guarantee there will be a story where she was compassionate.

Then you just say: “Wow – you’re right, you are a very compassionate person.”

When you use a girl’s appearance as the only yardstick to evaluate her worth, she’s going to feel objectified and shallow.

But if you focus your insights on those things that are not readily visible, you’ll have a much better chance of impressing her – and getting her to take you home.

If you want to get the girl, you gotta play it strategically – especially if you want to win her heart.

And remember: She lives in a competitive mating market with a limited number of attractive, desirable guys. These are the men that all the women want, and that women are going to compete against each other to win – and keep.

Guys don’t realize what kind of a scarcity market it is for girls out there. All she sees are flabby, dorky, socially clueless horn-dogs at every turn.

Most of these guys are trying pickup artist tricks on her that she can see coming a mile away.

If you want to get the girl – you need to grab her attention, and then keep it.

And if you want to know how to get her to feel primal sexual desire for you, you should know that every woman has a “Lust Response” built into her psychology.

It’s hard wired and completely automatic – IF you know how to trigger it…

Click here to learn how to get past her “logical” defenses, tap into her well of desire and make her utterly addicted to your very presence.

The post 4 Ways To Get The Girl – and Get Her To Like You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

You find this one girl, this one fantastic girl. You woo her – and you win her.

You make all these crazy good memories together.

You hump like insane rabbits every chance you get.

You find yourself thinking crazy thoughts, like maybe even … gasp … marrying this girl someday. Maybe popping out a baby or two.

And then something changes…

One day, she gets a little cold toward you.

She starts arguing with you over small things.

She isn’t as sweet as she once was…

Maybe the sex slows down – or stops…

You begin to wonder why you don’t see each other as much…

Maybe she even cheats on you with some guy. Maybe even someone you know who’s a total douche.

Your heart is broken, but you want to win her back.

One of the worst situations for a guy is being stuck with the task of winning back your girlfriend.

But it’s also the most painful, which means a guy is more likely to do something crazy and compromise his dignity to win his ex back.

My buddy Carl had this exact situation play out with his girl. He won the girl he dreamed about, the girl he’d had his eye on for over 10 years.

When the opportunity came, he grabbed her up…

Things were great… at the beginning.

But then she started acting weird and it started to unravel for Carl.

Within a few months, he was drunk, crying, and curled up on my bathroom floor for six hours, screaming the nastiest insults you can imagine to her on the cell phone he’d eventually stomp into a million pieces.

I don’t want that to EVER happen to you.

So right now I’m going to give you some realistic steps for getting your ex girlfriend to want you again.

The risk I’m taking on you is that, if I don’t tell you that JUST SAYING THIS ONE THING will win her heart, you’ll just go right back to Google and keep hoping that there’s something magical you can do.

Some “trick” that works “every time” for winning your girlfriend back.

Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. And more than once.

It freaking sucks to lose her – especially if it’s something you could have done to fix it before it got so bad that she broke up with you. You get irrational and impatient, thinking that if you can just do something in the next couple hours, before it’s too late, you can win your girl back.

And unfortunately, it’s that panic mode that is most likely to make you do something detrimental that will ruin your chances for good. So hold off…

And stay with me here. Don’t let that burning pain of losing your girlfriend keep you from reading the reality I’m about to reveal to you.

Let’s get going with: 3 Steps For Winning Back Your Girlfriend

How To Win Her Back – STEP 1: Reality Check

In study after study, they’ve shown that there is ONE thing a human being works hardest for in life.

Do you know what it is?

We work ten times harder to win something back that we lost than we do to keep it in the first place.

The reason is quite simple: We feel loss vividly.

But no guy sits around contemplating that they COULD lose their girl. That’s just too painful.

We don’t go there if we don’t have to.

Men are naturally wired to want smooth waters. We don’t need emotional turbulence, and we actively avoid it every chance we get.

So why would we ever imagine that this girl would leave us?

Well, we start to feel insecure when she shows the signals of being unhappy.

But the unfortunate part is that women are excellent at hiding and cloaking their feelings. And by the time you pick up on her vibe, she’s already started unplugging emotionally.

And then it’s a hundred times harder to win her back then.

But here’s the deal – just losing a girlfriend makes you want her back – even if the relationship completely SUCKED.

Yup, even if the girl was a complete bitch that only put out once every month, you’ll STILL wish you could get her back.

You see, the pain of loss makes you start thinking: “You know, it wasn’t THAT bad. She was mean to my mom, she liked to kick my dog, and she hated the movies I loved… but that’s okay.”

We start re-engineering our memories of the way things were to suit our needs. Suddenly a crap girlfriend seems more like our dream girl, as we selectively remember only the good stuff about her.

So you need to do a REALITY CHECK…

Take out a piece of paper – yes, you can open up a text document on your computer or tablet, too – and really start to inventory what was good and bad with your ex girlfriend – before you decide you want to win her back.

Just draw a line down the middle, and put the good stuff on the left side, and the stuff that you didn’t like on the right. You might even want to use a highlighter and mark the stuff that was particularly good or bad for the important stuff.

Bottom line: Unless the good outweighs the bad by AT LEAST 2 to 1, it’s probably not worth trying to win that girlfriend back.

Just let her go poison some other guy’s life, and keep that spot open for a girl who not only WANTS the position, she’s going to appreciate you the way you want.

Oh, I’ll warn you that if you find a theme of disrespect for you in the “BAD” side of your list, you don’t even need to tally it up.

Just ignore the good side and recognize that a woman who disrespects you is the worst kind of partner in the world. Ask any divorced guy and he’ll tell you that.

Remember my friend Carl?

He found the girl he’d had his eye on for 10 years and finally won over was actually a slut who had been seeing 3 other guys the whole time they were dating.

And the real insult?

She only let Carl have sex with her two times the whole 4 months they were dating. That was it.

It’s a harsh lesson to learn, but sometimes you gotta know that she’s not good enough for you to move on. That you’re better off without her.

But let’s say you haven’t lived out that horror story – and this girl is someone worth keeping. Hey, maybe YOU were the one to screw it up.

That brings us to:

Get Your Girlfriend Back – STEP 2: Find the Fix

A lot of guys go crawling back to a girl that they messed up with, and all he’s got are lame promises about how he’s going to “do better” and “it won’t happen again” – when he doesn’t really even know what the problem was.

Do you have a clear understanding of why she broke up with you? Or, if it’s the other way around – why you broke up with her?

This is the most vital intel you can have because there is a chance that she broke up with you out of frustration – and she did it to kick you in the butt.

And for her to try again, she’s going to need to hear how you’re planning to fix whatever broke before.

If you know that she was unhappy with how much you expressed your feelings when you were together, now is the time to come up with a good plan for changing that for her.

Because… she’s going to ask – or at the very least want to know what you’re going to do to make it different this time.

That’s the “logical” part of her brain that’s holding her emotional brain from just jumping back into your arms. So you have to address it.

The good news is that it’s pretty simple. Just take whatever her complaint is and come up with a workaround.

If you didn’t spend enough time together, find a way to carve out a few extra minutes here and there to make her happy.

If you hung out with your friends too much for her taste… well, don’t ditch your friends. Just increase the time you two get to meet up so that she feels like she’s getting a bigger share.

Yup, pretty much every issue she has with you could probably be solved with “more time.” That’s one of the secret fixes that you can use when the time comes to tell her how “this time is going to be different…”

(Secret Tip: You don’t really need to spend more time with her – you just have to make her FEEL like you’re spending more time with each other.)

Which leads us to the third step in the proces…

Winning Your Girlfriend Back – STEP 3: Make Your Play.

Look, I know there are a lot of “gurus” out there who tell you that you should wait for 6 weeks before you contact her again after the breakup. Because you have to respect her distance, and you have to let her really miss you.

The problem with that strategy is that she’ll probably just use the time to find another guy and get over you faster.

Yeah, I cringed, too. It’s too horrible to imagine, so let’s not do that. It’s not an option.

The best thing you can do is to come back quickly with your solution from step 2 and present it.

You simply wait 3-4 days (not too long, but you do want her to start missing you.) Let her heart ache a bit, and then you swoop back in.

What you do is:

– Text her this on a weeknight you know she’s probably not too busy: “Hey, I had a realization about us… thought you might like to know”

That text is left sounding kind of unfinished on purpose. You have to get her curious enough that she can’t resist responding.

When she does, move on to:

– Text her this: “Got 5 mins for quick call? I’d rather tell you in person…”

This will ease her mind. She’ll be okay with a call, because that’s not very threatening.

When she agrees:

– Call her.

Start out by telling her how she was right about you. Blah Blah.

You gotta start out by validating her feelings, or she won’t listen to anything you have to say. Do it without sounding like you’re being sarcastic, or that you’re not sincere.

Yeah, sometimes you gotta act a bit.

Finally…

– Tell her your plan.

Reveal your solution to her like this:

“Hey, I realize how there were mistakes. I realize you might not want to recapture the romance we had again, but I wanted to see if you think the solution I came up with is what you were looking for.”

Then, wrap it up: “So anyway, that’s it. Thanks for letting me bend your ear. I gotta get going.”

Yeah, that’s it.

I know, I know. You’re saying, “But wait, I didn’t ask her to get back together with me!”

That’s the point. We are opening the door and inviting her in, without putting pressure on her.

If you ask her, she’ll feel put on the spot – which makes her feel obligated to give you an answer right there and then. She may feel like she needs to stick to her guns.

But this way I just gave you, you can safely show her that you’re still that guy she wants to bang, and she has an invitation to come back.

If she asks you why you’re telling her this, you just say, “Look, I just wanted to show you that I realized what needed to be fixed. And that I’ve grown. I wanted to thank you for that.”

Then you can let her off the phone and let her brain stew on the possibility for a while. She’ll be talking herself into it while you wait, and you won’t have to do a thing.

You’ll be hearing from her in no time at all – if she’s interested, she’ll let you know.

If she starts talking about “missing you,” it’s pretty much assured that she’s just looking for the right excuse to get back together.

Let’s face it – if she’s gone for good, NOTHING you say will really matter. But THIS strategy will give you the absolute best chance to turn it around.

Because there really is no “guaranteed” way to make her take you back. There is no grand romantic gesture you can make – like standing outside her window playing Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” from your boombox.

Sometimes you just gotta do your best… and let the chips fall where they may.

And there you go… a simple 3 step method that will get her back into your arms.

If you want a complete strategy that you can use to get a girl, and KEEP her – so you never have to worry about having to win your girlfriend back ever again…

Take a look at THIS:
http://www.alphaconfidence.com/aff/lustdesire

The secret is to get her so obsessed, so infatuated from the start that she’ll always want you. And never hold anything back!

http://www.alphaconfidence.com/aff/lustdesire

The post 3 Steps To Winning Back Your Girlfriend appeared first on How To Win With Women.

If you suspect your own body is betraying you, how confident can you feel?

That’s why you need to know the secrets to decipher body language and know what signals are good – and which ones will mislead you.

Most of the people that I coach on body language are mostly interested in flirting signals of the opposite sex. Most body language signals and clues are fairly obvious if you spend any time observing people.

However, the more subtle indications of interest and attraction can be missed, so we’ll go through a few of the most important body language signals you can read.

What’s her body telling you? Body Language Signal 1: Emphasis

Men and women emphasize different aspects with body language.

Men try to appear taller, usually by sucking in their gut, and straightening up their spine.

Guys also try to puff up their chests. In general, guys try to highlight their muscles and stature.

On the other side, women emphasize their cleavage as much as possible.

Her chest is also a large part of her sexual attraction to men, so that’s why women work so hard to appear busty.

Everything from padded bras to fake boobs are fair game.

Women also try to draw attention to their hair, which is another primal indicator of femininity. They usually will touch their hair – finger-combing it – as well as touching and straightening it out.

She’ll also flip her hair over her shoulder to get attention. This move also serves to emphasize her face and profile – as well as her neck.

Women will frequently expose their neck – a primal demonstration of vulnerability – and she will cross her legs to emphasize her hips.

Not many guys realize that hips are a primal mating trigger that indicates a woman’s fertility.

What are her eyes saying to you? Body Language Sign 2: Read her gaze.

There’s a very predictable pattern when a girls makes eye contact with a guy she likes.

First, she makes eye contact with him – directly. Usually this lasts no longer than a second or so, but just long enough that he should know she was looking right at him.

Then, after he engages in conversation, she will go through a coy dance of eye contact. She will match his gaze, look from eye to eye, then at his lips, then looking down and away from him.

The only risk here is that men are often going to misinterpret this situation in one of two ways:

– He misreads her smile and gaze as being flirtatious, instead of friendly. Hey, we’re guys – we want to believe that sex is a motivator, right?

– He misreads her smile and gaze as being friendly when it was really flirtatious. Let’s face it, most women don’t understand how thick some guys are. And many women try and be too subtle with their signals.

The Other Parts Of Her Sexual Display – Body Language Signal 3: Watch her body.

Related to the neck are other areas of vulnerability – and emphasis – that you should watch for.

There are areas of physical vulnerability that a girl will expose, such as her neck (which I’ve already mentioned), her wrists, and throat. Any of these areas could be used against a person, so we tend to protect those zones.

The wrist flash is a big in indication of interest.

You should also watch out for her putting her hand behind her hair on the back of her neck. This is her way of stimulating a very erotic zone.

You may have heard that girls like to have their hair pulled – and especially during sex.

So what she does is manually stimulates the parts of her body that are “calling out” during your conversation.

Just keep in mind that you’ve really got to get her heavily aroused during conversation to get her to do this.

Still, it’s a valuable body language signal to watch out for.

The Big Hit – Body language attraction signal 4: Watch out for her love-taps.

At a minimum, when a woman touches you in ANY way, it indicates she’s at least comfortable with you. You can’t be sure she’s actually sexually interested in you until she gives you what I call a “love tap.”

A woman will playfully hit you on the arm in some way when she’s feeling the challenge of attraction.

This is a good sign, especially if you’re teasing her, she hits you, and then says, “Stop!” in a playful way.

Another key here is to simply compare the amount of “touch time” she gives to you versus other men in the group. If you’re getting at least the same, you’re doing good. If you’re getting more, you’re doing better.

Remember – when a woman is feeling frustrated, she will act out physically.

And make no mistake: Frustration is a GOOD thing to make her feel.

Otherwise, you’ll wind up with neutral energy.

What about giving off the right body language?

This is just as important as reading her body language – and gives you twice the power that other people have who aren’t aware of how seductive body language works.

You have to know how to demonstrate confident, sexually dominant body language to women as well.

If you rely on your words alone, you’re going to lose a lot of the ability to attract a girl. Most guys make this mistake when they use pickup lines and other routines that just don’t work for them.

It’s not that the words don’t work – it’s that you need an attitude that matches the words. And 90% of your attitude is in your body language and vocal tone.

Let me share some tips on how to radiate confident body language to her, and how to guarantee a positive response.

Confident Body Language Signal: Touching her

This one is tricky because most guys don’t have a refined sense of how to touch a woman correctly. They tend towards over touching, which comes across as groping and fondling.

This happens mostly because guys are drawn to the images of women we see, and we get more and more rabid about feeling what we’re seeing.

Women are more touchy/feely by nature, and therefore tend to get a lot more of their physical needs met.

Men suppress their needs for physical contact, and as a result we go into starvation mode.

One way you can avoid this problem is by getting regular massages. I prefer Thai massages because they really go deep and leave me feeling wonderfully depleted and relaxed after it’s over.

Oh, and I usually have them done by cute Thai girls…but that’s just icing on the cake.

Another confident Body Language Signal: Fidgetation.

When a girl gets sexually flustered, or if she starts to feel attraction and has nowhere to put that eager energy, she will start to fidget. She has to act out the energy, and she’ll start to self-soothe.

Some of the signs are:

– Twirling her hair

– Playing with her drink or straw

– Playing with her bracelets or jewelry

Now, this fidgeting is usually accompanied by a smiling, cheery attitude. If she’s doing this kind of fidgeting, but you get a distinct pissy vibe, she could just be sick of the conversation.

So you need to be able to pick up on her aura of interest.

Squirming and fidgeting is good in a woman, but bad in a guy.

If you’re doing this, STOP. It’s unattractive.

You should have a very calm, smooth way of moving when you’re around a girl.

This includes:

– No fast motions – or jerky, spastic movements

– No darting eyes. Keep them soft and constant.

– No talking like you’re on crystal meth. Slow down.

– Keep your back straight

And the last Body language indication you should broadcast is: Stay Open!

Most guys don’t keep their body language open when they’re talking to girls. They fold their arms in front of their chest, or they hold up a drink between him and her.

This is a subconscious barrier that projects a defensive posture.

Guess what? You don’t need it.

One of the best things you can do to practice confident body language is to practice NOT putting your hands anywhere. Just let them hang at your sides.

Try it now. Just stand up, and let your hands hang down naturally.

I’ll bet you get a wave of: “This feels weird…”

That’s okay, keep them where they are. Fight the urge to let your arms cross, or stick your hands in your pockets, or clasp them in front or behind you.

You’ll get used to it. It’s only your body telling you (falsely) that you’re unprotected.

But it’s a great posture of security and self-confidence to NOT have to put your hands or arms somewhere.

As you can see, projecting confident body language is a priority for you. And it will help for you to be able to read her body language as well.

The combination of BOTH these skills is deadly when it comes to attracting girls.

If you want to create attraction with women, you’ll need to develop a good control of your body language.

This tells women you’ve got your act together and you’re in control of your life. That’s the kind of Alpha Male energy they crave – it’s like Chick Crack that women can’t get enough of.

Now you’re armed and dangerous…

And if you want even more tips on how to be a badass with your body language, I’ve got something you’ll definitely want to see:

http://www.carlosxuma.com/body-language/understand-body-language.php

The post 6 Body Language Confidence Signals – How To Create Attraction With Girls appeared first on How To Win With Women.

When it comes to getting laid, guys want the step-by-step blueprint to go from talking to her to getting her to come home with him.

And we don’t want the douchebag method either. You’ve probably seen articles where a douchey looking guy tells you he can get you laid.

Usually after he’s yelled “YO! Player! F***!” at you with his badly shaved face and haircut. Oh, and he’ll usually have a really ridiculous tattoo.

Well, I’m here to help you avoid that kind of advice – and get the good advice that will really help you.

So let’s tackle the big elephant in the room right off the bat…

Do you want to get laid?

Here’s the deal: A lot of guys will deny they want to get laid.

Mostly NICE GUYS.

I should know – I did this all the time.

I repressed my natural male sex drive when I was with women, denying to them (and myself) that I really wanted to have sex.

But after I realized that I was just fooling myself, that I was hiding my sexual needs in an attempt to appear more “politically correct,” I dropped that act.

I also realized that I acted like that in a desperate hope to appeal to what women seemed to want.

What I didn’t realize is that women SAY one thing and do another – and the only way to figure out how to get laid was to watch and see what REALLY worked with women.

So let’s jump right in with…

Get Laid Tip #1: Be attractive.

Now, I know you’re going to think, “Carlos- does that mean I have to be hot to get women???”

NO. It does not mean you have to look like an underwear model or movie star.

But it does mean that you need to maximize your appearance!

Here are some things that will kill your chances of getting laid:

– Poor fashion & style

Yeah, wearing fluffy slippers and pajamas to parties might seem like an innovative way to get attention, but it’s not the way you want to go.

Just get a decent pair of shoes, some fitted jeans, a nice shirt, and maybe a fashionable jacket.

Hell, I got laid all the time just by wearing a sportcoat.

That’s timeless and always looks good. Even with freakin’ jeans!

– Poor grooming

Some guys like their lumberjack hipster beards. I get it.

But which is more important – YOU liking your clever beard, or HER liking it?

I’m sure there are some “gurus” out there that would tell you that you need to like yourself first – and sure, that’s true – but not completely accurate.

As the saying goes, do what works – not what you want to do.

And I’ll tell you right off the bat that those long scruffy beards are about as attractive to a woman as bathing in a septic tank.

Some other grooming areas are your fingernails and toenails, your haircut, your skin. You know, the basics that tell women you’re a grown-up in control of your life.

– Poor odor control

Yes, this kinda goes without saying: You need to smell good.

Smell is a primal trigger in human beings, and unless you smell good – you smell bad by default.

I’m not saying you have to soak yourself in $200 cologne every night, but make sure you’re taking care of the essentials:

1) A little cologne or a tasteful aftershave. Get a woman to give you her opinion on which scents turn her on.

2) Underarms/Body – make sure you don’t smell like you’ve been working in a hot, greasy kitchen all day. Even if you do work in a kitchen.

3) Oh, and don’t forget your teeth and breath. Keep good oral hygiene.

Let’s move on to another sensitive topic:

Tip #2: Avoid the whole issue of money

It’s funny how often money comes up on a date. If you want to buy her a drink – costs money.

If you want to buy her food – more money.

Take a cab? Money.

Get in that club? Money.

But there are a lot of things you can do with her that don’t cost money. And you’ll want to use those for your first few meet-ups with a girl.

A lot of guys put them in situations where they have to spend money they don’t have, then they feel resentful of her when he has to part with his hard earned cash.

OR – even worse – he tries to split the cost of things with her, which just turns her right off.

Instead, avoid those situations, and try to keep it to your budget so:

1) You don’t have to feel like a Scrooge

2) She doesn’t have to think you’re a cheapskate

3) You don’t have to feel wallet-raped every time you go on a date with a girl

Just don’t make yourself LOOK like you’re trying to avoid spending money like a cheap bastard. Even if that’s what you are. (Hell, I am.)

Don’t ask a girl to meet you at the bookstore at 9:00 on a Saturday night. That’s going to look ridiculous.

Instead, find a funky little dive bar that’s fun. Call it your hang-out, and ask her to meet you there for drinks.

Keep it on a budget without looking like a miser.

Tip #3: Stop being so effing NICE.

This is an obvious fact: The nicer you are, the less chance you’ll have with a girl.

Of course, if you’re a complete dick, you’ll also ruin your chances with a girl.

The key to getting laid is finding that middle ground where you’re challenging her a bit, but also not just insulting her.

It’s a balancing act, and it’s the key to getting a woman to really want to get you into bed. No B.S.

Tip #4: Be willing to “Dance.”

This one took me forever to grasp, but once I did, it made a HUGE difference in how well I did with women.

I used to be that guy who would refuse to dance at clubs on general principle. I would stubbornly hold my beer close to my chest, my other hand in my pocket, trying to look cool.

I’d turn my nose up in scorn at the guys that were out there, because I was so much cooler than them.

Actually, I was really just being a self-righteous turd.

And I wasn’t admitting the most important part of why I was REALLY not going out to dance:

I was afraid. Afraid of looking like a dork because I just didn’t really have a clue how to dance.

And I was also just not comfortable with myself when it came right down to it. So my refusal to dance was a statement of ME more than a condemnation of others, when it comes right down to it.

We tend to hate the things in others that highlight the fault in ourselves.

So don’t make the mistake I did. Get out there and dance.

It’s not just advice on getting laid, it’s a great philosophy of life – like, “Smell the roses.”

There’s no lack of talent you could have on the dancefloor that I couldn’t completely blow away with my own goofy moves, trust me. And definitely nothing you couldn’t get a few lessons on and be right as rain.

And now, probably the most important tip I can give you on how to sleep with girls:

Tip #5: Know how to hold a conversation.

Look, I get how it can be for awkward guys. I used to be one of them.

I’m not being self-deprecating here to make you like me…I really sucked at talking to people when I was in my 20s.

Part of my narcissism and my own dumbass lack of self confidence, but I didn’t understand even the basics of talking to people, such as:

– Ask questions. People want to know you have an interest in them.

– Listen to what they have to say to you when they answer your questions.

I never fully realized how important listening was until I had a girlfriend who never even pretended to be interested in me. It was the most lonely I’ve ever been in a relationship.

I realized just how isolating it feels to have someone that’s supposed to care about you – and even SAID she cared about me – not give me the slightest hint that she really did.

I fell into a depression, thinking there was something wrong with me. Then I got mad at our relationship.

I was disillusioned about having a girlfriend at all.

Sure I was getting laid, but it was hollow and dehumanizing to bang this girl and feel like she didn’t even register that I was there.

Listening is the easiest thing in the world to do… and it seems to be the hardest, if you watch most conversations today.

People really do think listening is just waiting for your turn to speak.

The real secret to listening well is to not have to “prove yourself” to her in conversation.

If you’re not always trying to impress her, you can open yourself to hearing what she’s saying.

Look, hate to tell you this, but even if everything she’s talking about is boring you to tears, you still have to find a way to hear her.

I make it a point to dig in and find something really intimate out about someone – especially if their conversation is a little on the dull side. It gives me something to do and keeps me challenged.

But most people do have something interesting going on, if only we open our ears to hear it.

The key to getting laid isn’t in tricking a girl into bed.

It’s also not about deceiving her so you can sneak your way into bed with her either.

The real secret to getting laid is to simply make yourself genuine enough that she can feel SAFE around you.

Strangely enough, this is something that most men can’t pull off – which is why there are so many guys out there not getting laid.

There’s an attitude that gets guys laid like crazy. It’s an attitude that women look for when they decide if they’re going to sleep with you.

This attitude triggers a woman’s Lust Response.

The best part is that this attitude is something that any guy can discover and use for himself. It’s like capturing lightning in a bottle – and channeling the power right into you.

If you want to discover this secret formula for yourself, go on over to:

http://www.alphaconfidence.com/aff/lustdesire

Date out of your league…

– Carlos Xuma

The post How To Get Laid appeared first on How To Win With Women.

He’s been eyeing her for months, and he finally got the courage to get her phone number.

He called me up last night wanting to know what to text her. Which is interesting because that seems to be the most common question I get from guys these days.

They want to know what to say to her, some funny things to text a girl, how to seduce a girl through texts…

And especially that all-important first text to send a girl.

The easiest place to start is to tell you what NOT to text a girl…

You want to avoid any kind of text that shows that you’re a Text Slacker.

What is a Text Slacker? He’s the guy who barely puts any effort into his texts to women.

He usually sends a text like:

“‘sup?”

or

“Hey…”

or

“Yo”

Hoping that he’s SO cool that the other person will just gush a response back to him just because he initiated contact. Which is not only narcissistic and arrogant, it’s just douchey.

So don’t send one-word “prompter” texts to women. They won’t get it, and they’ll probably ignore you.

Another thing the Text Slacker does is sends too many texts with abbreviations in them.

Like: “C U L8R”

As a general rule, spell everything out in your texts. It shows that you care enough to move your thumb another 1/2 inch to the left for her.

I know, it’s tempting to take a shortcut. But it’s also terminally lazy, and it will get you blacklisted with women faster than sending an unsolicited d*ck picture.

Oh, which reminds me…

DON’T SEND UNSOLICITED PICTURES OF YOUR WILLIE…

Bad opening move, and bad move in general. Unless your Johnson made the cover of Time Magazine for “D*ck of the Year,” it’s never a good idea to send an image of your junk.

And even then, I’d let Time Magazine’s cover do the work for you, yeah?

(For you guys that will ignore me on this point, never send an image of your boy when he’s soft, either. Women find that particularly pitiful and pointless. Forgive the pun…)

The Text Slacker makes mistakes because his moves all show that he lacks imagination and effort.

He’s a slacker, after all.

And that tells a woman that you haven’t got the get up and go to give her what she needs most: Attention and adoration.

Okay, enough of the “what shouldn’t you text a girl.” Let’s talk about what you should be texting her…

First off, you need to engage her and get her emotionally involved in the first text, or you’re going to really struggle.

The best way to explain this is a comparison.

Here’s a guy’s probable current state:

– He’s been out a few nights, maybe got a number. Or two.

– He hasn’t gotten laid in a while

– The numbers he does get are iffy at best. He’s gotten some friendly responses, but not flirty or sexual the way he wants. The girls could have been interested and flirty when he met them, but they cooled off literally overnight.

– So each phone number he manages to get is like a small flake of gold he managed to pan out of a stream. He wants to make it turn into a nugget – or even a nice juicy vein of precious sex with this girl.

– In short – his attitude is one of SCARCITY. Which makes him very edgy and insecure about texting.

Now your position may be better – or worse – than this, but it’s significantly different than HER mental state.

Here’s her state:

– She goes out (sometimes – but it’s not necessary for her anymore, as I’ll reveal shortly) and she gets hit on by 20 guys

– Those same 20 guys ask for her her number, and she’ll give it out because she’s not risking anything (her phone is her bodyguard – and I’ll also explain why in a bit)

– She goes home and gets 150 texts from those 20 guys – each one of them wondering if she’ll ever get back to him

– She can “cherry pick” the ones she wants to see again… or she can just go out again and let another 20 guys hit on her tonight

Basically women have an endless stream of boners running through their life. It’s like a sausage festival, and she doesn’t have to do anything but choose.

So you can imagine what her attitude is, right?

It’s one of ABUNDANCE.

She’s not scared of “running out” of guys to get with. So her attitude is like my attitude when it comes to books.

I got plenty of ’em, so I’m never in a scared, insecure state that I won’t have something to read tonight.

Think about that difference in your own life for a minute…

Think of something you have PLENTY of right now, whether it’s clothes or food or even friendships. Think about how that feels to you to know that it’s always there, and it’s easy to get.

Then take that same attitude and compare it to something you’re not as sure about. Like girls, or money, or possessions. (Not that possessions really matter.)

You’ll quickly see how your attitude is significantly different. Especially if you were asked to give one of what you have few of away.

So remember that when texting a girl – she has plenty of YOU around her all the time. Yeah, I know, you’re special and different – but that doesn’t matter to her if she never gets to discover it.

So let’s work on getting you past her defensive shielding, shall we?

Back to getting her emotionally involved…

You have to kick start her engine with a message that is going to spike her curiosity, and her feelings.

I prefer questions, because it’s hard to leave a question hanging out there. She’ll feel compelled to answer it – especially if it’s a good one.

Here’s one I like to use:

“Wanted: Nerdy girl for quick video game challenge – you think you got what it takes?”

What I’m doing there is a bunch of things. Let’s break it down…

1) I’m saying I want a Nerdy girl.

Which is a way of letting her be less than a glamour kitty for me. It says I appreciate a dork, which every woman kinda suspects she is.

2) Video game challenge

– I’m putting something fun and different out there for her to respond to.

3) You think you got what it takes?

Again, another good-natured challenge to her. She’ll have a tough time refusing that one.

So to really have an impact, you want to embrace three elements in your texts:

– Humor

– Uniqueness

– Challenge

Each of these brought together will virtually guarantee that she will respond.

Let’s take another look at humor…

Most guys screw this one up because they don’t understand how humor translates in texts. Case in point, it doesn’t. At least, not very well.

But it can – and should be used – whenever you can.

How do you do it?

The best way is to do it through weirdness and absurdity.

Just put something in where it doesn’t belong and you have wacky humor that most girls will find cute.

Here’s a quick example:

“My dog has been asking for your number… Saw your pic on my phone. I don’t think you should see him, though. Bit of a player.”

Right there you’ve got an absurd – and yet cute and flattering – situation. Your dog wants to hit on her. She’ll find this funny.

It’s also a kind of a subtle suggestion that this interaction with her is also on the romantic side – not on friendship. In case she was thinking that.

So just inject a randomly weird element in and you’ve got the easy makings of a funny text with her that she will really enjoy.

Now you can take what I’ve shown you here and use it to amp up your texting game.

But if you’re like me, you probably would like to just have some cut & paste texts to use, and a walkthrough of my complete Ignition System of getting women to feel horny for you using only your cell phone.

You see, most women aren’t going out to bars and clubs anymore.

Over half of UK nightclubs have closed since 2005… and that trend is spreading like wildfire in America.

“Tinder has destroyed the live music and pub scene” – The Independent

No one is going out to clubs and bars anymore to meet.

Why?

The invention of the smartphone, my friend.

There is a fundamental shift in the way men are meeting girls, and it could hit you like a tidal wave if you’re not ready for it.

I created a quick public service video to explain why this is happening – and what you can do about it – HERE: http://www.attractwomen.com/ignitioncode

Not only can I show you how to DOMINATE with your phone – I can help you avoid becoming a casualty in the most serious threat to men of the last decade.

Go here now:
http://www.attractwomen.com/ignitioncode

Date out of your league…

– Carlos Xuma
http://www.attractwomen.com/ignitioncode

The post How To Text A Girl appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I mean, you never know what her mood will be from one minute to the next, right?

Let’s face it… when you want to ask a girl out, you only have one answer you really want:

How do you ask her out so she will say YES?

We want the no-risk, guaranteed strategy that avoids any chance of rejection or failure. Now, we know that’s not possible, but we still want to avoid the embarrassment of a woman saying no.

There are typically two kinds of guys who ask this question:

Guy #1) Will ask her out eventually, and he usually figures out the timing.

It’s when he finally works his courage up.

And then there’s…

Guy #2) Will probably never find the courage to ask her out.

But instead, he hopes that if he analyzes it long enough, she will get around to asking HIM out, therefore avoiding any risk.

Guess what, Guy #2. It’ll never happen.

So if you’re a Guy #1, let’s get down to a few ways to ask a girl out – so that she’ll say yes. (Most of the time.)

First of all, if you just met her, you need to make sure you’ve got the energy going before you ask her out.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is to ask a woman out when he’s barely even started a conversation.

Think of it this way: She’s always asking, “What’s in it for me?”

I know a lot of guys that think women will just go out with you to get the free dinner (which you shouldn’t be offering right away, but we’ll get back to that.)

She actually won’t just say yes. She needs to know that she’s going to have a good time.

So always be tuned into her favorite radio station: WIIFM

What’s In It For Me?

We’re all a little selfish – sometimes a LOT selfish – and she needs to know that she won’t be stuck on a date with a guy who can’t talk about much more than sports stats and radical political opinions.

(You’re not one of those guys, right?)

So the first thing you need to know is if you SHOULD ask her out.

The first question you need to ask is: Do I really like this girl?

Sometimes you get a few minutes into a conversation and you realize that maybe she isn’t such a rocket scientist after all. In fact, the conversation feels like pulling teeth.

Your teeth.

But wait… she’s still pretty hot.

But when she opens her mouth, it lowers her 1-to-10 score by at least 3 points.

As a guy, we often get pulled into the dream and fantasy of a girl based on her outward appearance. We initiate conversations based on her looks alone.

And when we go through that much effort to start a conversation, and even get her number, it feels kind of reckless not to at least go out with her once or twice. Which is when we start sliding down that slippery slope of settling.

And if you’re not getting laid regularly right now, sometimes it doesn’t matter to you if she’s all that likable. You’ll still go for it, and ignore the consequences.

Ultimately, though, this catches up to us. We wind up with a girlfriend that doesn’t really make us happy, and we feel trapped.

We wanted regular sex, but we wound up with a shrew that we don’t like spending a lot of time with.

Don’t feel guilty – every guy does this. And eventually we learn the lesson.

The time to save yourself that pain, though, is right up front. When you’re first talking to her.

Make a quick judgement call – is she a cool chick?

What does your gut say? Trust your instincts – they will rarely mislead you.

Some other questions to ask yourself:

– Does she go out of her way to make the conversation flow?

– Does she balance the topics between herself and you? Or is she a me-monkey with a constant need to steer the conversation back to her?

– Does she seem fun and lighthearted? Or darkly sarcastic?

And one of the best indicators of a woman’s personality:

– Does she interrupt you a lot, or does she wait and respect your expression?

You’d be surprised how fast that “interrupt” habit can turn ugly later on.

Remember, some guys marry a woman they really don’t like much just because they got used to the regular sex. And later, when that well ran dry, they found themselves in a truly miserable situation.

So the first question to answer is: “SHOULD I ask her out?”

What’s the next question?

“Is she ready for me to ask her out?”

Remember what I said about getting the energy going in the conversation so that she has a reason to want you to ask her out. She wants to WANT to go out with you – not wonder if she should.

So the best thing you can do early in the conversation is to:

1) Make her laugh

You don’t need to be a standup comic here. All you need to do is get a simple giggle or two that lets her know you’re not a bore.

Make a joke about her purse being big enough to sleep in, for example. A good natured tease is all you need.

2) Ask her a question

Make it a simple open-ended question that can get her to start talking. Open-ended means a question that is not a simple yes/no.

It requires her to come up with something of substance for you to talk about.

Something like: “So how did you end up shopping at the mall on a Tuesday afternoon?”

Nothing complicated here.

And that will serve to …

3) Get her to invest

If she seems hesitant to contribute to the conversation, she’s probably aware of the fact that if she does invest a little of herself, she’ll be much more likely to give you her number and a date.

Once you break through this barrier with her, however, you’ll see that it’s practically a guaranteed hook up later on.

Now if you’re still wondering WHEN the best time is to ask her out, consider this first:

What is an easier favor to ask someone:

– Can you give me a ride?

OR

– Can I borrow your car?

Obviously the first question is much easier. I’d rather part with my front teeth than trust someone with my car.

Getting a ride, on the other hand, seems like a much smaller commitment.

So when you ask a woman out, do you think it’s easier to ask:

– Hey, let me have your phone number so we can connect sometime*

OR

– Hey, let’s set up a date when I can monopolize you for 3 hours or so

The principle here is pretty simple: Ask someone for the lowest possible investment to get them on board.

Because once she’s given you that phone number, it’s not as far of a leap to give you the time to hang out.

The principle here is something that Robert Cialdini (an expert on influence and persuasion) calls Commitment & Consistency.

It’s the way that car dealers get you to buy a luxury sedan when you only stopped in to take a look at a Ford Focus. You get the person to agree to some trivial requests, and it’s not long before they’re on board for something much bigger.

The next one is a pretty simple bit of advice, and you’ve probably heard it a million times by now…

Be confident.

Stay with me here… I know that sounds a bit lame.

After all, what does that mean? How do you “BE” something when you’re not sure how it feels or what confidence even is?

Let’s pin this one down, because that one bit of advice is also one of the worst when there’s no explanation of HOW to be confident.

Confidence is really 95% imaginary. It’s the temporary delusion that you know what you’re doing, and that you’re fully capable of handling the situation.

Confidence is also 95% physical.

That means that if you LOOK confident to her, you ARE confident. After all, she really has no way of knowing what you’re actually thinking.

Even the most confident people you know are riddled with self-doubt and fear.

They just do one thing differently: They hide it better.

And the only way to hide it is in confident body language.

The cool part of this is that if you emulate the body language of someone that’s confident, it has a “backflow effect” of making you actually think and believe you’re more confident.

What is confident body language?

– Chin up

Not so you’re looking down your nose at people, but at least so your head is looking straight ahead.

– Shoulders down and back

Relax your shoulders. Don’t let them shrug up or hunch forward. By pressing them down and back, you’ll also accentuate your chest.

– Steady eyes

Don’t scan all over the place. Just lock eyes (gently!) with her.

Avoid the “Manson Lamps” where your gaze is too intense and overpowering. Just pretend you’re a little stoned.

That slightly sleepy – but attentive – gaze is enough to give you a relaxed confidence.

– Straight posture

Pretend that you’re being pulled up by the crown of your head. It will give you a good inch or two in height, as well as straighten up your posture.

This is one of the most important ways men demonstrate physical dominance, and you can’t ignore it.

So there are a few tips to help you figure out that all-important question of “how” and “when” to ask her out.

And just in case you missed it, I passed along my priceless “Magical Phrase” above*, for getting her number – and the date – later.

In case you missed it, here it is again:

“Hey, let me have your phone number so we can connect sometime…”*

It’s 12 simple words that get you her contact info so you can get the date later.

Use them, and I guarantee you’ll get the girl…

And once you’ve gotten her phone number, you can do so much more than just get a date.

I can teach you how to get attractive, model-quality women to send you naughty photos, call and beg YOU to sleep with them, and reply to your texts IMMEDIATELY. Take the next step by clicking HERE.

The post Ways to ask a girl out appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I’m going to cover the essential points of the date, and give you dozens of dating advice tips and strategies you can use. Once you have a solid game in place, your dates will practically run on auto-pilot.

Keep in mind that dating and attracting a woman is easy when you have a plan to follow, and these strategies can form the framework of your success.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Don’t set up a date around lunch hours as much as possible. In fact, first dates should be AFTER 6-7 PM – anything earlier than that could land you in the Friend Zone.

It simply takes more work to create a romantic atmosphere before sundown. Plus, night dates create a better opportunity for her to crash at your place (and all that implies).

The women you’re after (i.e. high value ladies) probably have a full schedule towards the end of the week. Since most of us hate Mondays and the back-to-the-grind stress that it creates, avoid this day as well.

That said, you’ll have to set up a date when she won’t be crazy busy and have a hundred things on her mind. So women who are generally on a “regular” schedule prefer Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday over the other days of the week.

As for Saturday, I refer to that as “sacred date day.”

This is the day that every guy knows is the most significant night to go out with a woman. It says “I’m courting you” and “This could be serious.”

It also indicates that you’ve got no other women (probably) in your life. So remember that the day you choose also sends a message.

And it’s one she will hear loud and clear.

When I list Friday and Saturday last, it’s because they’re for a SPECIAL girl, not just any girl. You should make those your days of last resort.

Ideally, if you’re not in a long-term relationship, these are the nights you’re going out to meet new women.

The ideal date should be a 3-hour block consisting of several locations. Hopping from place to place gives you more stuff to do and keeps things fresh.

So that means you need to kick it off between 7PM to 9PM to allow enough time to fit everything into your date without losing momentum. It’s important to remember that this approach is meant to make her relaxed by the time she’s supposed to cut loose with you.

The other reason why daytime dates don’t really feel like dates is because she’ll be worn out by the time she heads back to her place. (Not the way to end things).

You need to build your timetable in a way that ends the night on a high note. Remember the first rule of showbiz: “Always leave them wanting more.”

If your date hits that high note (i.e. when her energy levels are the highest) around 10-11 PM, you’re golden. You’ll be wrapping up things by that time, but she’ll feel sad that the night is ending.

And that’s EXACTLY what you want her to feel: the pain of your absence.

WHAT NOT TO DO ON THE FIRST DATE

Skip movie night if you’re dating someone new. You can watch movies together at home on your 4th or 5th steady date after you’ve started sleeping together, but NOT before then.

For the first date, sitting in front of a screen for a couple of hours is the worst way to go. There’s no interaction whatsoever, which means you’ll learn nothing about her during that time.

And forget about physical contact – any touching at the movies will just make it weird.

That being said, if things start to suck for you and you don’t want to just end the date, go catch a movie you’ve been dying to see. Turn the night into something cool instead of being miserable.

Another DON’T: Dinner dates.

They’re unoriginal and lack creative imagination. Like a movie date, there’s practically zero chance of touching her without making it awkward.

Here’s another factor to consider – she probably won’t feel at ease having to put food in her mouth or sharing her food preferences with a practical stranger.

Besides, you’ll want to sidestep the typical “dance” when the bill comes. (Which, if you’re forced into this situation, YOU pay. Sorry, man.)

WHERE TO GO:

Any place that naturally encourages a lot of interaction and physical contact between you two should be on your list. It’s even better if the venue serves cocktails, beer, wine and the like.

So you should take her to dance classes, stand-up comedy bars, art shows, funky shopping venues where you can walk around and buy quirky stuff, music-related festivals, and so on.

Logistics are crucial, too. You’ll want to find places and activities that are close to either her place or yours.

These days, it’s easy to use Google or any number of location-based searches to research a good venue.

You should have about 4 options to pick from that are a short (5-10 minute) drive from her place. You should have about 5 or more in your local area.

The best options are walking distance, of course. But not everyone has the ease and simplicity of living in San Francisco or other major cities where everything is this close.

Once you’ve got a few, you’ll want to plan how to string them together.

Remember what I said about the 3-hour block. Ideally, fitting in three different activities would be perfect.

That gives you an hour to dedicate to each activity, and that keeps the date from getting stale.

One of the interesting things that bonds humans together is the amount of shared experience we have. People who have been through a lot together have a very tight bond – tighter than initial chemistry, in fact.

So by having a few “mini-dates” together, you’ll also be creating that intimacy with her.

To create a good date, you’ll want to be active and doing a lot of things. Don’t make it a mad rush from one to the next, but keep her moving.

Grabbing a couple drinks, heading over to the bowling ally or pool hall, and then some dancing. That right there is a map for excitement for her.

The way we perceive time is relative, and you can use this to your advantage. Compressing positive experiences into your 3-hour block will make her feel like she’s done so much with you.

The basic idea here is to create lot of good memories – and the emotions that come with them – in a single date.

Here are some more examples of great first date dates:

– Get some Gelato

– Grab some coffee

– Go check out that weird-looking art sculpture sitting outside the office downtown

– Swing or Salsa class (OR Hip-Hop, Zumba and whatever else you’re comfortable with)

– Comedy improv class (just make sure she’s a relaxed, cool chick first who seems up for it)

– One of those interactive “escape the room” or “murder mystery” venues where you search for clues with her and put your heads together

– Dancing at a small club

– Finish up with drinks at your apartment next door

Yes, it’s a good idea to finish the activities near your place or hers so it can “conveniently” end there.

HOW TO BEHAVE ON THE DATE:

You should be interacting with your date throughout the date. That means doing stuff you both participate in and neither one of you can hang back and get lazy.

You’ll want to be able to walk around and have many opportunities to touch.

As this is your place to shine, you’ll need to take the role of leader during the date. She has to know you’re a take-charge kind of guy.

Don’t act like you need her approval, and you should definitely never ask her what she’d like to do. You already have that plan.

Women sleep with guys who have a plan to do just that. She wants to be swept away.

By the way, beware the women who struggle for control, or get overly competitive on dates. These are NOT women you want to be with.

A woman should have a soft feminine presence that goes with the energy, not struggles for dominance.

If she can’t let you lead, you’ll never get where you want to go. Don’t wind up being her bitch.

Don’t fall for the feminist propaganda that would have you believing anything else.

The interaction should go along the lines of:

“There’s this cool new place that has shawarmas everyone’s raving about, let’s check it out…”

OR

“Hey, let’s check out that video arcade. I haven’t played in ages, but I bet I can still beat you at pinball!”

OR

“Let’s check out the Exploratorium, they have a trippy exhibit on how to grow plants on Mars…”

You get the idea…

WHAT TO TALK ABOUT ON THE FIRST DATE:

You want your conversation with her to move quickly out of small talk and into deep and personal territory. Dig in and find out about her life on a very real level.

Ask her about what’s important to her, what are her values? Find out about her dreams, what she’s passionate about, her past and outlook on the future, and what things she enjoys most in life.

Keep the subject away from things that are dark or negative in any way, and make sure you don’t let her dwell in that zone if she gets suddenly melancholy. Remember, you’re the leader, and you’re also the guy who takes her away from negative emotions.

Women often can’t do this themselves, so you must be there to help her turn her mood into something productive for the date.

You’ll want to avoid having the first date – or any date, really – turn into a kind of interrogation with question after question.

Instead, you can bring the information out of her by talking about your own story and passions first, then encourage her to share. Lead by example.

IS SHE INTO YOU?

Here are a few tips for you to gauge a woman’s level of interest during the date. You should be looking for some hints that things are working in a positive direction.

Overall, you can generally trust your gut. If it feels like she’s having fun and into the date, she is.

If you’re struggling to figure out if she’s interested, you have to act as though she isn’t and step up your game.

Signs To Watch Out For:

– Sometimes you’ll notice her smiling and laughing a lot more than she really needs to. That’s a good indication she’s feeling attracted and dropping hints for your benefit.

– Is she fidgeting with her hair or doing the “hair flip”? That’s positive body language right there.

– She’s in your “personal bubble.” If a woman likes you, she’ll keep closer to you physically to raise the level of attraction. She’s also doing this to subconsciously make you touch her without spelling it out for you.

– When she gives you that “look”: This is closely related to smiling and laughing. If you find her locking eyes with you, long enough to almost make you want to look away, chances are she’s feeling attraction. This is especially true if she looks at you when neither of you are talking.

– She acts like you’re the only guy in the room. This can be very subtle, and subjective as well. You’re looking for behaviors which show that you have her full attention. For instance, if you’re at a bar and her girlfriends can’t pry her away from you, that’s a good sign.

If a girl isn’t into you, she’ll fall into her familiar patterns of interaction with her friends, because that’s the path of least resistance. So, you know you’re doing well if she acts like they don’t exist.

I’ve given you a basic structure for your first date – or first dates – with a woman.

You want to stick to this plan as much as possible, and the reason is simple: If you need to tweak the plan at all, you have to have a baseline plan to work from.

Otherwise, you’ll be all over the place with your results and won’t know where the problem is.

And if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your game, and you’d like to know how to date out of your league – date hotter women – I suggest you go here: http://www.carlosxuma.com/lust

I’ll share my most powerful dating tactics for guys…

Finally, date hotter women…

The post How To Attract Women – First Date Ideas That Rock appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Do it wrong and you’ll be turned into hamburger.

Okay, that may not be the most effective metaphor I’ve ever used, but it’s not too far from the truth. One wrong move and you’re just another deleted contact in her bit-bucket.

Recovery is a bit of a nightmare. Women aren’t likely to give you a second chance these days. It’s too easy for her to just move on to some other guy who gets it.

And these days, it’s next to impossible to get a woman’s attention away from her cell phone.

Have you ever walked into a crowded Starbucks, only to see 30 people in line, and every one of them is in a trance-like stupor – eyes glued to their smartphone?

I see it all the time, and it’s kinda sobering to see that all the time.

But the good news is that you can use texting to reach women that were previously out of your reach.

I’ve got a few of the worst errors you can make texting, AND some tips for what you SHOULD be doing to get her interest…

1 – Don’t Text Her This: Anything with an abbreviation in it…

Look, there was a time (in middle or high school) where you could get away with shortening your texts down to just “Wht r u gonna do l8r?”

But now that you can basically talk into your phone and have it type for you, these days of abbreviations are over and done. You need to be verbose with all your texts…

Which will also make you think a little more about what you’re saying before you text a girl. You gotta keep them short and sweet, and this will help you when you’ve got a hottie to text in 160 characters or less.

When you spell at the level of a 6th grader, this won’t charm her one bit — unless you send, “Sup, u out?”

2 – Don’t Text Her This: Don’t text just one woman…

Okay, technically this is not a specific thing to NOT text her, but it’s very relevant to you and how you text girls.

When a guy is just texting only one girl, it’s very easy for him to get caught up in a “scarcity” mentality. If you want to get out of this mindset and become a master of texting girls, then you should be texting as many women as you can.

Here’s why: Texting a bunch of women keeps you in an abundance mentality. And this allows you to develop that kind of prosperous thinking naturally.

Once you have that taken care of, you’ll bring a whole new fun attitude to your texts and messages with women – which is going to make you that much more appealing and attractive to her.

Also, with all the practice you’ll be getting, you’ll have an intuitive knowledge of what you should and shouldn’t text a girl.

3 – Don’t Text Her This: Don’t mass text

Mass texting a bunch of girls at once is a HUGE no-no. Especially now when you can bet her phone will report it if someone responds.

It’s a “duh,” but worth mentioning.

I suggest you make sure you’re using my texting rules (LINK TO: https://www.win-with-women.com/calling-women/ )

4 – Don’t Text Her This: Last minute invites

Asking a girl out over text is acceptable, but definitely not preferred. Just leave a grace period between when you press send on your cool invitation and the actual night it’s going down.

Now, on the if-chance that you actually do have something coming up at the last minute, it’s not necessarily bad for you to put it out there. Especially if you think she won’t be able to make it.

Why?

Because her “Sorry, I can’t” will inevitably make her feel a bit more obligated to follow through on your next serious suggestion.

Evil? Maybe.

But if it works, sometimes the results are all that matters.

5 – Don’t Text Her This: Your Feelings!

I’m always amazed at how many guys break this rule. You can NEVER reveal feelings for a girl in a text.

First of all, texting is not an emotional medium. She knows this, and it will only start her giggling when you tell her your feelings over the Network.

If you have feelings you want to share with her, wait until the time is right when you see her. But even better is to not even do it then (find out why by clicking HERE).

Otherwise, you run the risk of sounding really sad and pathetic.

Okay, so let’s talk about a few things you should be doing when it comes to texting women the right way.

After you avoid the mistakes, it’s time to make sure you’re doing the right things, too…

DO THIS – Texting Tip 1: Don’t text her too much

Nothing can ruin attraction and destroy your chances of seeing her again quite like texting a girl too much. It makes you look needy and insecure.

And it gives no challenge for the girl (which means she’ll just get bored and move on).

Here are a few simple tips for texting girls that will help you text a girl just the right measure:

When texting a girl, keep the text ratio as close to 1:1 as you can. Even better is if you can let her text you two times for every one of yours.

You want to send her about as many texts as she sends you – or fewer. And try to keep each text roughly the same length in words and characters.

Avoid needless texts. Don’t text a girl in situations where she doesn’t need to respond to you.

For example, you don’t need to reply to her “have a good night!” text if you’re just going to text back “you too!” or “g’night!” It feels weird and weak.

At this point the conversation is pretty much over. Let it end with her.

Which leads me to…

DO THIS – Texting Tip 2: Let her be the last one to text for long stretches.

Ideal is texting her that good night, she responds, and you’re done. She is now left with wondering when she can talk to you again.

If she’s the last one to text this means that she’s already stopped because she’s had enough, which means you probably pushed it into “Enough already!” space.

Just let her end it.

You get bonus points for leaving her hanging on a question she’s asked you. They typical wuss move is to answer a woman back as soon as she texts a question.

When she senses that kind of responsiveness in you, her attraction goes WAY down.

DO THIS – Texting Tip 3: Keep your head on straight when texting girls

To win at the texting game, you have to keep an abundance mentality at all times. It’s related to some of the other mistakes and issues I mentioned before.

Over-texting a girl is usually the result of neediness and insecurity. What I’m saying is, guys feel they need everything to go well with her because he’s secretly afraid it’s the only shot he’ll have with a girl for a very long time.

To avoid this scarcity mindset, you want to have a total abundance mentality when you’re texting women. Just imagine that you have a hundred other incredibly hot girls that are already interested in you.

This will help you from getting too stuck on that One Girl and prevents you from texting her too much.

Or from being too needy in your text messages.

And lastly:

DO THIS – Texting Tip 4: Make sure you’re challenging her by teasing her

Don’t be afraid to poke a little fun at the girl you’re texting. It’s the single most effective thing you can do to get her attraction up and her sexual interest going.

Of course you should do it in a playful, good-natured way. Not only does teasing a girl make her laugh, it shows that you’re not a just a kiss-ass.

Teasing demonstrates that you have confidence with women, because you’re not afraid of her disapproval.

Which will then help build attraction with more women – it’s an upward spiral.

Here’s an example of a fun text to send to a girl that shows confident, cocky teasing: “You’re a closet geek aren’t you…? except without a closet :)”

So there you go… a few tips of what to text girls, and a few things you shouldn’t text girls if you can avoid it.

Always keep in mind the big picture when you’re texting – you’re aiming for a goal: to get her to meet up with you in person. Because that’s where everything good will happen with her.

If you want a solid, PROVEN method of texting women without getting shot down, you need to head on over here right NOW <– Click HERE

The post 5 Things to Never Text a Woman appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Doesn’t matter if it’s for a weekend or for months, either.

And I don’t just want to show you how to get a girl to LIKE you… I want these women to fall madly in love – where they would literally drag you into bed for sweaty, no holds barred passion that would embarrass an adult film star.

So what I thought I’d do is to share 5 of my tips for how to get a girl in your life – and in your bed.

Tip 1: Talk Yourself Up – Without Being a Douche

Guys instinctively know that they need to get their accomplishments out on the table in front of her as fast as they can. Unfortunately, most guys do this buy bragging. And that just comes across as douchey.

What you need is a method to tell her about who you are and what you’re capable of, without making it sound like you’re boasting. And – at the same time – you do still want to come across as confident.

But not TOO confident, right?

Damn, this attraction stuff seems hard sometimes.

Well, it’s not really all that difficult if you know HOW to tactfully talk yourself up.

If you speak another language (even if only a little), or you snowboard, or play the piano, you definitely need to let her know about that.

Any skill that you have is something that says “I’m confident and capable” to her. She needs to know that you’re competent.

Skills or talents you have are sexy to women, and effectively revealing them makes you appear more dynamic to her.

The trick is sliding them into conversation naturally, so you don’t come off as awkward — or like you’re blowing you’re own horn. Wait for the right opportunity, and slip it in nonchalantly. She will notice it.

Just be subtle.

Tip 2: Use Your Masculine Voice

Don’t shout at her, but you should be using your projection when you talk to her. If she has to say “Huh?” all the time to get you to speak up, you’re going to look like a wuss.

Remember, confidence is not communicated in a soft, delicate voice. It’s in the deep resonance of your chest and stomach that will hit her right in her turn-on button.

Especially because your voice will tend to get pinched and nervous when you are. So you have to relax, use deep breathing, and even hum to yourself before the date. This will serve to get your voice in proper shape for talking to her.

According to a new study, men and women make subtle changes in their voice when talking to someone they are attracted to.

The study, performed by Stirling University, reviewed the vocal ranges of men and women in dating scenarios.

The research, led by Stirling’s Juan David Leongomez, also found that these subtle voice changes make the speaker appear more attractive to the person they’re talking to. The research team studied 110 heterosexual individuals, who were either English of Czech native speakers. (The findings are true globally, however.)

They compared the vocal patterns of men and women. When they were talking to people they perceived as attractive versus people they thought were unattractive, the vocal changes were significant.

Men were found to speak in a more ‘sing-songy’ voice when talking to women they found attractive.

They weren’t actually singing, mind you. Just using more vocal variation.

They also spoke deeper to make themselves sound ‘more masculine’ which is very effective.

So don’t be afraid to be heard…

Tip 3: Tease To Please

By now you’ve probably heard of my formula for attraction, and one of the critical elements is knowing when and how to tease a woman.

You see most guys play it way too safe, and they wind up being “blocked” in her head. She immediately classifies them as “too safe” and “boring.” And then she can never go back to thinking of him sexually again.

This is usually because most guys hold back and watch what they say. They also go out of their way to agree with what she says, which totally kills attraction.

Most of the time, she knows she isn’t even saying what she really means, so when a guy agrees too much, she picks up on the disconnect.

One of the best ways to make sure she never puts you into the friends zone is to tease her a little bit. Disagree with her on occasion.

Just keep it lighthearted and funny, NOT mean-spirited.

Conversation with a woman should always be flirtatious and playful – with a lot of up-and-down energy to keep her interested. Guys try too hard to keep the energy either aggro or way too calm.

You want her laughing, having fun, and feeling challenged all at the same time.

Tip 4: Be Vulnerable

This one is critical.

So many guys try to keep themselves up on a pedestal, portraying themselves as being invulnerable and heroic, but they forget that a woman needs to see a small amount of his human weakness in the mix.

Scientists have actually quantified what makes people become friends (and eventually more). And to create any kind of trusting bond, you have to have a minimum amount of vulnerability, or there will always be a distance.

You don’t have to tell her the deepest, darkest things about you, but you should have a good story you can pull out that will get her feeling you’re relateable. Tell a story that highlights a goofy or awkward moment.

Talk about your first time skiing or parasailing, including the part about how you took a spill on the lift, or how you stumbled through your landing.

Stories with a little self-deprecation show a woman that you’re comfortable in your own skin. And that you’re resilient enough to handle tough situations with a positive attitude.

Tip 5: Know When to Get Help

I often do research on the “state of the union” when it comes to men’s dating advice. I’m always blown away by the pathetic advice a lot of the so called “gurus” and advisors out there give.

One site I saw suggested that you “take her out to Thai.” As in, go to a Thai restaurant with her.

Seriously? This is “Advice”?

What if she doesn’t like Thai? Is there a substitute?

C’mon, guys deserve better than this.

Even more annoying is the fact that dating tips like this always say pretty much the same thing:

“Try and impress her with the same lame crap that nice guys everywhere use to meet women. Spend money on her, compliment her blindly, and then try to disguise your sexual desires as much as possible. And if you’re LUCKY, you might get a kiss goodnight.”

Tell me, how often has that approach worked for you?

Probably not much.

And I don’t like leaving my love life up to fate and chance. I want to make it kneel before me and give me what I deserve.

Look, the reason you’re still here reading this is because you’re probably not getting the level of success with women you really want.

Maybe you’re not dating at all, and you want some new options for dating.

Maybe you’re dating on occasion, but you can’t seal the deal.

Maybe you’ve got some women in your life, but you feel like you’re settling.

And no matter what the situation, you want MORE.

You want what the other guys seem to get without having to try…

And you know what? You’re right for wanting that.

That’s when it’s time to get some help from someone who can give you the success you want.

I’ve put together a program to help you do exactly that: Succeed with women.

Men Say: This Secret Underground System Gets You Women Without Lines, Scripts, Or Rejection…
Go discover how  <– Click HERE

The post 5 Tips For How To Get That Girl appeared first on How To Win With Women.

In fact, if your phone game is tight enough, you can pretty much skip straight to sex without ever having to hang out with her.

One of the biggest problems I hear about from guys is that they can’t text a woman and get a response from her. It’s almost as if she gets off on reading the texts, but never responding.

Check out this email from a guy who had this problem:
______________________
Hey, Carlos –

I was out last week at a few bars, and I met this really cool chick. We were into the same music, and she even liked some of the geeky shows I like on cable.

So I got her number, and I waited until the next day to text her. I just sent her a quick message:

“Hey, what’s up… I’m heading to Steamy’s later… wanna meet me?”

A few minutes go by, and I see on my iPhone that she got my text message (it showed as delivered) and then those little dots showed up that tell you that she’s typing back.

And then they disappeared…!
No response.

And I waited for about an hour before I just gave up on her responding.

I don’t know what it is these days with women and texting, but it’s really irritating to go through all that effort, and then find out she’s one of those flakey bitches.

Why is it so hard to meet women these days?

Texting girls is a pain in the butt.

It seems like girls are delegating all connection with guys over to their phones, and then they don’t reply to texts, or calls…

How do you get their attention?

How do you text a girl you like?

– Nils in Stuttgart, DE

______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

I can totally relate to your frustration, Nils.

Women do use their phones like a digital personal assistant…

And a bouncer!

So it’s critical that you know how to break through the wall of ‘boring’ she has to deal with each day. Message after message of drivel that basically shows only one of three things about his personality:

1) The guy didn’t put any thought into the text at all. Which is a recipe for her ignoring texts.

He just sent out the first thing that came to his head.

“Yo…”

“Whassup…”

“How are you doing?”

Think about how excited a hot girl is going to be to answer that.

Not at all.

In fact she’s waiting to be *entertained* by guys, not interviewed. So you have to be ready to give better than you expect to get.

Hang with me and I’ll explain how you can overcome that with some easy canned texts you can use anytime.

Now the other thing that most guy’s messages show is that…

2) He’s clueless and boring.

Most guys actually aren’t actually boring (some are clueless). Usually it’s his fear of saying anything that might ruin it for him that pushes him into sending generic, conversational texts that make her yawn.

After all, you don’t want to lose all this progress because you risked it all on a weird text message, right?

So you send some bland conversational stuff that isn’t interesting. But – you figure – at least you’re connecting with her.

HINT: You’re not actually connecting.

What usually happens is that the interaction turns into a back and forth about stuff that sounds like Small Talk From Hell. She realizes that you’re probably better off in the friend zone as a result.

For example:

HIM: Hey, you ever go to that new gym on 9th?

HER: Yeah, it’s crazy busy, but I love the machines…

HIM: Me too! I’m a big fan of the Ellipticals with the stirrups to hold your feet in

HER: Yeah…

HIM: So you ever do the classes there? My friend says they’re great if you want something different in your workout…

HER: Not yet…

HIM: Well, the other thing about that gym is that they…

YAAAAAAWWWNNNNNNN….

You get the point, right?

You keep bantering about the same topic, it’s going to get old really fast.

Texting is not the place to hold a conversation. It’s a place to create and spark attraction with her as fast as possible.

Oh, and the last thing that most guys show in their texts is that:

3) He’s crude, unsophisticated, and an oaf.

He basically adjusted his weiner, and thought to himself – “Hey, maybe she’d like a picture of it.”

Nope. That happens … um, never.

You’d think from the epidemic of dick pictures floating around out there that this was a sound strategy, but it’s not. In fact, women don’t find dicks (erect or not) attractive.

(Honestly, I’m not sure if I think my own is all that good looking…)

And the crude comments and sexual hints don’t usually make women all that hot either.

So in order to really get through, you have to know how to navigate the tricky minefield of good texting protocol.

What I’m going to do is share 3 Texting tips you can use to get through to a woman.

If you’re going to try to flirt with a girl over text, you need to know what to say – and how to say it.

So let’s dig in with the first tip:

Tip 1: When you text her, play both sides of the blade.

Most guys are either too serious with their texts, or they fumble it when they try to send a funny text.

I call this the “blade” of texting girls, because there’s a fine edge between being serious to the point of boring and being funny to the point of being a douche.

So the best strategy is to send a text that balances a bit of both.

If you have to ask her a serious question, you can always offset it with a bit of humor. And if you know you need to send something a bit funny, you can inject a bit of serious to keep it interesting.

For example, if she wants to know when and where you’re meeting up with her:

HER: Hey, where we meeting up? n’ what time?

YOU: I’m thinking the Bobcat Lounge on Folkston. I get off the stripper pole at 7:30 and I have to collect my tips, so – 8:00?

You see what I did there? I took an otherwise boring “logistical” text and spiced it up with something fun. And I’m fully prepared to recall that joke again later to get some more mileage from it.

Tip 2: When you text, text irregularly

Again, most guys are so excited to get a text from a woman that they pounce on it and look like they’re Mr. Eager Guy.

I get it, you haven’t had much action in a while, and this texting feels really novel and interesting. Who could blame you?

But you can’t act like a thirsty man in the desert, no matter how parched you may feel.

When she texts you, step back and take a breath. Rejoice a little that you got a response and bask in it for a while.

Then wait a few more minutes… what’s the rush?

After all, when the roles are reversed, don’t you find yourself on pins and needles wondering “When am I going to get a reply?”

Don’t deny her the delicious fun of anxiously waiting for your reply.

Wait it out, Make her sweat a little…

THAT is how the pros do it.

And when you’re ready:

Tip 3: Use a photo to dial up the fun

One thing that can make a text a lot more interesting is including a photo.

Most phones these days have a camera feature, and even the most low-grade budget ones. So you can grab a decent picture of almost anything. (And remember, pictures of any sexual part of your body are off limits.)

I used to send pictures of my knuckles, the neighbor’s cat, and even my sideburns.

You simply send her a picture of it and ask her a crazy question about it.

I asked one girl to tell me if the cat in the picture looked like it was trying to read my thoughts…

It got huge laughs and finally led up to her sending me 3 pictures of her boobs.

(That’s with no top on, by the way.)

Pictures are like letting her in on your side of the story. Without having to say anything, and giving you a chance to really connect in a way that straight texting simply can’t do.

Don’t neglect this under-utilized technique in drawing her attention to you… NO ONE can resist a texted picture. I guarantee it’s beyond her control to ignore you if you use that.

Now, for more tips on getting her to Sext you pictures of herself, and even get her begging you for a booty call, you need to go on to The Next Page –> Click HERE

The post 3 Tips for Texting appeared first on How To Win With Women.