Women are attracted to masculine men, no matter what the media tries to tell you.

You’re going to hear more and more nauseating, confusing and ridiculous information that tells you to “condemn the patriarchy” and embrace someone else’s ‘vision’ (agenda) for the future.

Go ahead and listen to them, and read them if you like, but keep your critical thinking hat on.

Don’t let them confuse you from the truth about what women want.

Is this what a REAL man looks like?

Women want one thing and one thing only, no matter how much everyone tries to believe the opposite:

Women want real MEN.

What’s a ‘real man,’ anyway? Isn’t that subjective?

Doesn’t that just change depending on who you ask?

No, not really.

Masculine – AKA ‘manly’ – traits are fairly consistent.

In my 16 years of doing this dating advice for men gig, one thing I’ve noticed is that feminists (and women with issues – often the same people) rarely (like almost NEVER) challenge me. They seem to sense right off the bat that I’m fully grounded in my identity as a man. I don’t buy into their fluffy white idealistic new-age nonsense.

And yet I see men everywhere challenged in their identities, words, and actions.

It’s a shame, because these are otherwise solid and well-meaning guys. But they lack the fortitude and conviction in themselves to transmit a vibe of MAN to the outside world.

Now, I’m not some knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. I’m not some one-dimensional idiot from a 1940’s movie.

Nor do I rage with testosterone 24/7.

I’m sophisticated and peaceful. And I know a thing or two about cultivating the attitude that women love. That’s why I wrote this little manifesto today for you.

In honor of the passing of R. Lee Ermey (the amazing drill instructor from “Full Metal Jacket“) – this is going to feel a bit like boot camp to you.

Suck it up, Buttercup…

So let’s dig in right now with the 3 Steps to becoming the man women desire…

Become The Alpha Man – Step 1: Grow A Pair, Soldier…!

I’m profoundly disturbed by the culture of waffling, weaseling, and sneakiness I see in men around me every day. I think this was cultivated from too many hours poring over their social media. Trying to make themselves not feel jealous of other people’s lives… and failing.

Posting images of what you ate last night?

Seriously?

Food porn?

I could not give shit-one about that. Anyone else that “likes” that image of your quail-egg soup is also not caring; they’re simply conditioned by the Facebook Illuminati to hammer away at that button whether or not they care. They’ve trained our brain’s reward system to “get off” on our phones.

Realize This: People don’t really “like” something if all they had to do was spend a microsecond hitting a blue button…

What they were doing was yelling “Hey! I’m here! I matter! Don’t forget about me!” into the void.

That’s what most people are doing out there. Hoping that – in this mindless chatter of internet idiocy, we don’t get forgotten. After all, we all deserve to be celebrities!

Right?

WRONG. 

REMEMBER: 90% of the things people post in social media are the fake, smiley propaganda of their lives. They’re just as desperate, unhappy, and unfulfilled as everyone else. They’re just trying to make up a better marketing campaign so that you might not see it.

Social media is a lie.

The truly successful aren’t on Facebook or Instagram posting their successes – they’re living them.

Get your balls back and start to reclaim your confidence and convictions.

Stop living your life in the virtual world.

Start by drawing yourself up a list of the virtues you stand for. I’ll bet not one man in a hundred has ever done this, but it’s essential to who you are. (I’ve attached my complete list of virtues at the end of this article. Use them as your reference.)

Women are attracted – almost unconditionally – to a man who knows what he stands for. It’s the reason that women don’t test or push me around. They know I’m solid and grounded.

And they should know the same about you, soldier.

Take action. Get busy.

You’ve got a good 50 to 60 more years in you, if you don’t eat junk food and get diabetes by 25 like most of the new crop these days.

Go ask that chick out… stop worrying about “the perfect words.” (The Perfect Words  are simply the ones you actually say instead of think.)

She’ll say yes BECAUSE YOU ASKED with conviction, not because you waited 10 years for just the right thing to say to avoid rejection.

Go stir some things up and make a mess. The world gets down on its knees and unzips your pants when you jump in the game instead of trying to watch from your iphone.

“Conflict is a forge for the steel of your willpower.” – Carlos Xuma

Be The Man Women Want – Step 2: Get Out Of The Cry Closet…!

You’re still here, Private? Good! You haven’t rung the bell and quit? Fantastic!

Now drop your hanky, and cut that weepy crap.

Too much indulgence in sadness make a man pathetic.

I’m about as kind, compassionate, and loving as you’re ever going to find in a guy – so don’t mistake this for macho posturing.

But these days everyone seems to need their weepy emotions aired to everyone else because we all think our emotions matter more than anything.

NEWS FLASH! Emotions are an energy source for men. Not your ‘cry closet.’

Emotions are not your place to sulk and ruminate. That’s for women.

Every guy came fresh from the factory with a hot little pepper of anger inside that he needs to tame and utilize for his power. Your anger is a nugget of plutonium

And also – drop that crying crap right now. It’s like this new revolution encouraging men to start acting pathetic. You can FEEL your sadness, son. But you CONTAIN those emotions. Throw boundaries around them – and then channel them over to your batteries.

Crying is surrender.

Crying is “I give up.”

That’s how you feel when you do it, if you think back to how it feels on the inside. It’s a complete resignation that comes from your core.

And that is something no man can entertain. And after a while this reaction becomes rehearsed, and starts to turn you into a weak, rubbery … well, girl.

Look – that’s not an insult to women. Women can handle their emotional highs and lows – they’re used to riding them. It’s part of a woman’s nature to deal with vacillating emotions.

“If civilization had been left in female hands we would still be living in grass huts…”
– Camille Paglia (renowned feminist)

But men use their emotions as fuel for forward progress. We are the action that supports their emotional insight.

Again, FEEL your emotions – but do not DWELL on them!

(By the way – cry closets are a real thing that some universities have implemented for the wuss students that can’t handle their own emotions. And you should be a little shocked by that…)

Be An Attractive Alpha Man – Step 3: Drop the Mic…!

Okay, you made it to Step 3, so I’m promoting you Private FIRST CLASS.

And you’re ready to hear the one thing that’s gonna make panties drop around the world for you…

You need to drop your mic…

Be the man she’s been waiting for…

Yup, show-stopping commitment to your convictions means you speak your mind and drop the microphone.

Walk off stage, and get to work.

There is no dress-rehearsal for life. You’re in the mix right now, grunt.

So make a DECISION. That’s really what I’m talking ’bout here.

Stop waffling and start committing yourself to a story of your own making. Don’t wait for other people to choose for you. Because as Rush said in “Free Will”:

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

Plant your flag and stand for what you believe in. This is the source of that “confidence” everybody tells you to have to attract girls.

They’re right – though it’s not the false confidence of a “pickup line.” It’s the real, dyed-in-the-wool feeling of being VALID.

Worthy.

Only YOU can give yourself that, son.

Stake your claim…

Just check in with reality (such that it is) from time to time to make sure you’re not off on another delusion that the world made up to distract you.

Make sure you read classic literature for being a man:

• The Prince – Nicolo Machiavelli
• 48 Laws Of Power – Robert Greene
• Call of the Wild – Jack London
• Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
• Walden – Henry David Thoreau
• The Art Of War – Sun Tzu
• Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu (no relation to Sun.)

– or the writings of Seneca and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations (which is free on the web.) These guys had masculinity all sewn up and tattooed on their souls over 2000 years ago.

Being a man is an opportunity and a PRIVILEGE! Though, you might not know it from the way people talk these days.

• Ignore the politically charged deluded people out there trying to bend reality to their weaknesses…
• Ignore the obviously misguided masses who only want attention to their plight – whatever it is. (Frankly if it’s not starvation, your whining is just getting on everyone’s nerves.)
• Ignore the people who really only want to grab their own power and control you…

It’s time to drop your mic right now.

Make a decision to start living your life instead of projecting it at other people. Your life isn’t a rumor or a publicity stunt. It’s comprised of the time you’ve got to make your mark, soldier.

It’s what separates the boys from the men – and it’s what makes women want them.

If you want to know more about the complete plan to be an Alpha Man, go here…

• Carlos X.

______________________

VIRTUES:

Wisdom

• Curiosity
• Love of learning
• Judgment
• Ingenuity
• Emotional intelligence
• Perspective

Courage

• Valor
• Perseverance
• Integrity

Humanity

• kindness
• Loving

Justice

• citizenship
• Fairness
• Leadership

Temperance

• Self control
• Prudence
• Humility

Transcendence

• Appreciation of beauty and excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Spirituality
• Forgiveness
• Humour
• Zest

The post 3 Steps To Becoming The Man That Women Want appeared first on How To Win With Women.

But eventually, we want to find that one special woman. That cool chick to hang out with – Netflix and chill on a Saturday night.

You don’t want to end up a sad dude who sits at home with a virtual reality headset and a plastic girlfriend, right?

You want to get a real girlfriend with real bumps and squishy parts.

So let’s talk about a few of the basic ways you can get a girlfriend without having to compromise.

And maybe even date a little out of your league…

1. Know what you’re looking for.

If you want to find a girlfriend that’s right for you, you have to know what you want right from the start.

I’m talking about the qualities that make you happy – that turn you on.

A lot of guys make the mistake of only thinking about the physical qualities, like a 38DD chest, or a booty that would make the Kardashians green with jealousy.

All things considered, you only need a girl that you’re sexually attracted to. It’s the other qualities that will eventually make or break the relationship.

So start out with a thorough list of the qualities you NEED for the long haul. Stuff like, common interests, life direction, and attitude towards life.

Write ’em all down, and really ask yourself which ones are must-haves, and which are nice-to-haves.

And yes, even (gasp) parenting style!

Face it, man. If this thing gets REALLY serious, she could be the mother to your kids.

The one thing that most guys don’t consider is how to CHOOSE a woman. In fact, it’s the one thing that will make your life a heaven on earth – or a living hell.

Ask any man who’s facing his divorce square in the eyes what he was thinking when he chose her, and you’ll get a double shot of reality.

Guys get pulled into some uncool situations in the pursuit of getting laid.

Know what YOU want – before you get sucked into something you don’t want.

2. Be cool…

Most guys give off waves of desperation the second they start talking to a girl. You have to relax and let her feel comfortable enough with you.

Most guys don’t realize that a woman is always on alert for her safety around men. So when she dares to go out and mix and mingle, she carries a little ambient anxiety.

It’s your job as a man, to help her feel safe around you first.

Yes, attraction is important, but a lot of guys are still trying too hard. And that doesn’t do much to help her feel relaxed.

So when I say be cool, I mean also not acting like this girl is the only chance you’ll have to mate this year.

Just breathe, be cool – and carry on.

3. Get your look together

Your “look” is comprised of 4 things:

– Hygiene

You gotta brush those teeth, scrape that tongue, and put on a little bit of deodorant to keep you smelling like a clean guy. Of course you should go further if you can with some hedge trimming (for you excessively hairy dudes), and don’t forget the nose, ears, and fingernails.

– Fashion/Style

A lot of guys think they have to be good looking to attract women, which is actually a complete lie. Just because you hear girls oohing and ahhhing over the latest Bieber Boy-Band look-alike doesn’t mean that’s who she would go after in a crowd.

In fact, there was a time when Patrick Stewart (yeah, bald Captain Picard on STTNG) was considered uber-sexy. And he’s an older guy, too.

It’s not looks – it’s how you carry yourself. How put-together you look.

So spend some time at the clothes store getting a good look put together. You don’t need to be a dorky fashion animal, just make sure it fits right, and it gets a female store clerk’s thumbs up approval.

– Grooming

This one goes hand-in-hand with hygiene.

Take care of your beard, your haircut, and even the things you might not think are getting in the way of your appearance. Guys tend to diminish the importance of their grooming, while women tend to OVER value it.

You just need to look like you’re taking care of yourself. That’s it.

Because women know that she can’t expect to be taken care of by you any better than that. It’s her signal of how well she’ll be looked after.

Simply make yourself look pleasing to the touch. You do want her to touch you, right?

So make it easy by looking like a guy that looks touchable.

Pay attention to your skin… a little lotion wouldn’t kill ya.

– Health

This one is easy.

Go to the gym. Get some exercise.

Somehow… just do it.

You see, most people think about exercise like it’s a chore and difficult, which is why they avoid it. The discomfort challenges their tiny bubble of happiness, and as a result they get used to losing.

Yes, as in “being a loser.”

Don’t let that loser-boy voice in your head take control of your life and drag you down.

I talk to guys every day who say, “Man, I really gotta get back in shape.” As if him saying that means that I can now excuse just how grossly overweight and sickly he looks.

Ignore the reluctance and resistance. Find something fun to do that gets you moving around.

And then do it!

Could be basketball, or going to a Zumba class, or even yoga. Just do *something*.

‘Nuff said…

4. Don’t be confident

WTF??

Did I just say that?

Yeah, I did. Because I’m tired of lame articles that tell you to “BE Confident,” or “Exude confidence…”

Seriously, if you could do that, you WOULD do that, am I right?

Yes, we know that women want you to be confident, and that confidence is attractive.

But thinking about or focusing on being confident will almost always make you less confident. You become all up-in-your head.

Don’t do that, brother.

Just relax and stop focusing on confidence.

Confidence is a myth. It’s just the illusion created when you know you can do something.

And fear is created when you focus on “what if I can’t…?”

Confidence is a slow, warm vibe of “Everything will be okay.” And any guy can adopt this attitude at will.

It doesn’t require a course in confidence, or a 30 day Tony Robbins bootcamp.

Remember that courage is not that you feel 100% confident and on top of the world. It simply means that you’re ignoring the voice of doubt.

You’ll find it easier to walk up to girls, and to keep the kind of “confident vibe” a possible girlfriend would want.

5. Spread the Love

Look, to get a girlfriend in this day and age, you gotta learn the fine art of flirting. No two ways about it.

So if you’re going to be a good flirt-technician – you gotta learn that the best way to look attractive to a possible girlfriend is to spread the love around a bit.

Good flirting comes down to just socializing a little.

Sometimes that can be stressful for introverts and guys who aren’t used to it, but it’s a lot easier when you don’t put pressure on yourself to be the “life of the party.”‘

I’ll give you a small hint: He’s not the guy that’s always getting laid.

Be the guy that has talked to and associated with a few people in a party or social situation, and you’re already ahead. People are more likely to open up and draw you in if you are connected to more people.

Plus, it feels great to “play host” and introduce people to other people.

6. Know how to play the Lego Game

The Lego Game of dating is knowing how to connect – and RE-connect with a woman.

This means being able to get her contact information in some way. Which is actually incredibly easy, if you don’t make it a big deal.

You see, women hand out their phone number like she’s passing out tic-tacs at a garlic festival.

She does this because 1) she knows she doesn’t have to answer it, and 2) a phone number these days is meaningless. It’s just a possibility.

So the real effort you need to put in is when you finally call her. Just take a second to remind her of the fun you had with her – whether you’re texting her or just leaving her a message.

Remind her of who you are, and the feelings she had when you were together.

Ultimately, that is what she will use to determine if she’s going to go out with you or not. Is it going to be worth her while?

7. Know the rules, baby

The fact is that if you want to get a girlfriend, you have to know how the game is played. I know a lot of people that hate it when dating is called a “game” – but it is.

What most guys feel like, though, is that they are always the victim of the game, not a player.

And when you feel like the rules are against you – or they’re getting changed every 5 minutes, you can feel pretty beat-up after a while.

Look, ultimately you have to remember that your girlfriend isn’t your life.

In fact, if you act like she is, you’ll probably lose her – and fast. Because once you get a girl in your life, you need to stay in touch with the other stuff that makes you a man.

Having a girl to bang doesn’t make you a man. Having the lifestyle of a man does, and the women will just follow.

If you want a look at the complete rulebook – the complete guide on how to get the girlfriend of your dreams into your life, then you need to check out my course “Get a Girlfriend Fast” and find out what the ONE thing women want in a man.

When you have the rules, you own the game – CLICK HERE to find out how.

The post 7 Ways To Get A Girlfriend appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I mean, you never know what her mood will be from one minute to the next, right?

Let’s face it… when you want to ask a girl out, you only have one answer you really want:

How do you ask her out so she will say YES?

We want the no-risk, guaranteed strategy that avoids any chance of rejection or failure. Now, we know that’s not possible, but we still want to avoid the embarrassment of a woman saying no.

There are typically two kinds of guys who ask this question:

Guy #1) Will ask her out eventually, and he usually figures out the timing.

It’s when he finally works his courage up.

And then there’s…

Guy #2) Will probably never find the courage to ask her out.

But instead, he hopes that if he analyzes it long enough, she will get around to asking HIM out, therefore avoiding any risk.

Guess what, Guy #2. It’ll never happen.

So if you’re a Guy #1, let’s get down to a few ways to ask a girl out – so that she’ll say yes. (Most of the time.)

First of all, if you just met her, you need to make sure you’ve got the energy going before you ask her out.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is to ask a woman out when he’s barely even started a conversation.

Think of it this way: She’s always asking, “What’s in it for me?”

I know a lot of guys that think women will just go out with you to get the free dinner (which you shouldn’t be offering right away, but we’ll get back to that.)

She actually won’t just say yes. She needs to know that she’s going to have a good time.

So always be tuned into her favorite radio station: WIIFM

What’s In It For Me?

We’re all a little selfish – sometimes a LOT selfish – and she needs to know that she won’t be stuck on a date with a guy who can’t talk about much more than sports stats and radical political opinions.

(You’re not one of those guys, right?)

So the first thing you need to know is if you SHOULD ask her out.

The first question you need to ask is: Do I really like this girl?

Sometimes you get a few minutes into a conversation and you realize that maybe she isn’t such a rocket scientist after all. In fact, the conversation feels like pulling teeth.

Your teeth.

But wait… she’s still pretty hot.

But when she opens her mouth, it lowers her 1-to-10 score by at least 3 points.

As a guy, we often get pulled into the dream and fantasy of a girl based on her outward appearance. We initiate conversations based on her looks alone.

And when we go through that much effort to start a conversation, and even get her number, it feels kind of reckless not to at least go out with her once or twice. Which is when we start sliding down that slippery slope of settling.

And if you’re not getting laid regularly right now, sometimes it doesn’t matter to you if she’s all that likable. You’ll still go for it, and ignore the consequences.

Ultimately, though, this catches up to us. We wind up with a girlfriend that doesn’t really make us happy, and we feel trapped.

We wanted regular sex, but we wound up with a shrew that we don’t like spending a lot of time with.

Don’t feel guilty – every guy does this. And eventually we learn the lesson.

The time to save yourself that pain, though, is right up front. When you’re first talking to her.

Make a quick judgement call – is she a cool chick?

What does your gut say? Trust your instincts – they will rarely mislead you.

Some other questions to ask yourself:

– Does she go out of her way to make the conversation flow?

– Does she balance the topics between herself and you? Or is she a me-monkey with a constant need to steer the conversation back to her?

– Does she seem fun and lighthearted? Or darkly sarcastic?

And one of the best indicators of a woman’s personality:

– Does she interrupt you a lot, or does she wait and respect your expression?

You’d be surprised how fast that “interrupt” habit can turn ugly later on.

Remember, some guys marry a woman they really don’t like much just because they got used to the regular sex. And later, when that well ran dry, they found themselves in a truly miserable situation.

So the first question to answer is: “SHOULD I ask her out?”

What’s the next question?

“Is she ready for me to ask her out?”

Remember what I said about getting the energy going in the conversation so that she has a reason to want you to ask her out. She wants to WANT to go out with you – not wonder if she should.

So the best thing you can do early in the conversation is to:

1) Make her laugh

You don’t need to be a standup comic here. All you need to do is get a simple giggle or two that lets her know you’re not a bore.

Make a joke about her purse being big enough to sleep in, for example. A good natured tease is all you need.

2) Ask her a question

Make it a simple open-ended question that can get her to start talking. Open-ended means a question that is not a simple yes/no.

It requires her to come up with something of substance for you to talk about.

Something like: “So how did you end up shopping at the mall on a Tuesday afternoon?”

Nothing complicated here.

And that will serve to …

3) Get her to invest

If she seems hesitant to contribute to the conversation, she’s probably aware of the fact that if she does invest a little of herself, she’ll be much more likely to give you her number and a date.

Once you break through this barrier with her, however, you’ll see that it’s practically a guaranteed hook up later on.

Now if you’re still wondering WHEN the best time is to ask her out, consider this first:

What is an easier favor to ask someone:

– Can you give me a ride?

OR

– Can I borrow your car?

Obviously the first question is much easier. I’d rather part with my front teeth than trust someone with my car.

Getting a ride, on the other hand, seems like a much smaller commitment.

So when you ask a woman out, do you think it’s easier to ask:

– Hey, let me have your phone number so we can connect sometime*

OR

– Hey, let’s set up a date when I can monopolize you for 3 hours or so

The principle here is pretty simple: Ask someone for the lowest possible investment to get them on board.

Because once she’s given you that phone number, it’s not as far of a leap to give you the time to hang out.

The principle here is something that Robert Cialdini (an expert on influence and persuasion) calls Commitment & Consistency.

It’s the way that car dealers get you to buy a luxury sedan when you only stopped in to take a look at a Ford Focus. You get the person to agree to some trivial requests, and it’s not long before they’re on board for something much bigger.

The next one is a pretty simple bit of advice, and you’ve probably heard it a million times by now…

Be confident.

Stay with me here… I know that sounds a bit lame.

After all, what does that mean? How do you “BE” something when you’re not sure how it feels or what confidence even is?

Let’s pin this one down, because that one bit of advice is also one of the worst when there’s no explanation of HOW to be confident.

Confidence is really 95% imaginary. It’s the temporary delusion that you know what you’re doing, and that you’re fully capable of handling the situation.

Confidence is also 95% physical.

That means that if you LOOK confident to her, you ARE confident. After all, she really has no way of knowing what you’re actually thinking.

Even the most confident people you know are riddled with self-doubt and fear.

They just do one thing differently: They hide it better.

And the only way to hide it is in confident body language.

The cool part of this is that if you emulate the body language of someone that’s confident, it has a “backflow effect” of making you actually think and believe you’re more confident.

What is confident body language?

– Chin up

Not so you’re looking down your nose at people, but at least so your head is looking straight ahead.

– Shoulders down and back

Relax your shoulders. Don’t let them shrug up or hunch forward. By pressing them down and back, you’ll also accentuate your chest.

– Steady eyes

Don’t scan all over the place. Just lock eyes (gently!) with her.

Avoid the “Manson Lamps” where your gaze is too intense and overpowering. Just pretend you’re a little stoned.

That slightly sleepy – but attentive – gaze is enough to give you a relaxed confidence.

– Straight posture

Pretend that you’re being pulled up by the crown of your head. It will give you a good inch or two in height, as well as straighten up your posture.

This is one of the most important ways men demonstrate physical dominance, and you can’t ignore it.

So there are a few tips to help you figure out that all-important question of “how” and “when” to ask her out.

And just in case you missed it, I passed along my priceless “Magical Phrase” above*, for getting her number – and the date – later.

In case you missed it, here it is again:

“Hey, let me have your phone number so we can connect sometime…”*

It’s 12 simple words that get you her contact info so you can get the date later.

Use them, and I guarantee you’ll get the girl…

And once you’ve gotten her phone number, you can do so much more than just get a date.

I can teach you how to get attractive, model-quality women to send you naughty photos, call and beg YOU to sleep with them, and reply to your texts IMMEDIATELY. Take the next step by clicking HERE.

The post Ways to ask a girl out appeared first on How To Win With Women.

It felt like there was just too much riding on a conversation. I thought to myself, “Oh man, if she knew how insecure I really am, I’m screwed.” Even back then, I knew that women could sniff out the SMALLEST hint of weakness.

And so my brain always worked overtime, coming up with the worst possible case scenarios that haven’t even happened yet. With all that stuff going on in my head, I couldn’t keep my emotions in check.

Consequently, my neediness showed every time, destroying my social value with women. It was a BRUTAL cycle – failing with women, feeling bad about myself, and doing even WORSE the next time.

Sounds familiar?

You’ve probably experienced this too. Maybe the anxiety got to you so much that you ended up as a nervous, tongue-tied version of yourself who couldn’t string a couple of sentences together.

I know how much that sucks because I used to suffer from the following:

• Wasting countless opportunities to meet women because I was TOO SCARED to try
• Pushing women away with my needy, anxious vibe that made them uncomfortable
• Struggling with a mental block whenever women are around

Trust me, I’ve made every mistake in the book. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me.

But my lack of self-confidence didn’t mean I needed to be “fixed” – and neither do you.

I didn’t need to lie down on a couch in some shrink’s office. Instead, I got off my butt and got to work.

Let me explain what I mean…

When I was struggling with myself, this is what I learned: the brain has a tendency to project a person’s worst fears and exaggerate it.

This is the NUMBER ONE self-confidence wrecker – but I’ve found a way around that.

In a nutshell, I developed a way for my mind to cope with the fear so that it would NEVER get the best of me again.

I basically set out on a quest to work on my self-confidence by going through every piece of material that I could get my hands on.

Books, tapes, videos, seminars – you name it.

It was well worth my time because I finally developed certain Mind Hacks that transformed my life from the ground up!

You can learn this done-for-you system even while you’re approaching women and improving your self-confidence. That means you won’t even have to spend a fraction of the time it took me to get where I am today.

The good news is that I want to SHARE this valuable information with you – for FREE.

Using my simple Mind Hacks, I drastically improved my inner game by reprogramming certain thought processes. After I’ve helped you unlearn some harmful beliefs, you can finally unlock that confident part of your personality.

But there’s one small problem – I’m not sure how long I can offer this as a FREE course.

Pretty soon, it’s going to be a PAID program once I’m done collecting testimonies from the select few who’ll get to try it before everyone else.

So it’s best to click HERE before I have to take it down.

The post How I Hacked My Brain and Boosted My Self-Confidence appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Most of the time, your chances of getting her number are unpredictable. One minute, you might think you’ve got it in the bag, only to have her flat-out reject you the next.

And the pain of getting turned down is the WORST feeling in the world. Rejection is a blow to the ego, and a lot of men experience one emotional beating after another ALL THE TIME.

But what if you could put a stop to this cycle and FINALLY get rid of that sickening feeling in your gut?

Wouldn’t it be awesome to TAKE CONTROL of your success with women instead of leaving your dating life to chance?

From my own experiences, I know what it’s like to feel POWERLESS in the presence of beautiful women.

Have you been frozen with fear from just thinking about approaching a woman you liked? When you tried talking to her, did your legs feel like they turned into stone?

That’s happened to me more times than I care to remember.

That same mixture of TERROR and HESITATION used to keep me from meeting and dating the women I wanted.

But not anymore.

I realized that this feeling was the BIGGEST obstacle to success with women, so I devised a way around it.

Once I discovered the secret to overcome this obstacle, it gave me the POWER to attract the opposite sex in a way I only dreamed of before!

I think you’d agree with me if I said that most men dream of the SAME thing. Deep down every guy lies the desire to spend their life with that special, high-quality woman…

…and KEEP her for good.

That’s a perfectly healthy need to have. And being deprived of companionship will create all sorts of UNHEALTHY effects on a guy.

Men who are rejected on a regular basis tend to become NEEDY. Every failure amplifies this effect, making them more and more desperate for the one thing they can’t have.

At a certain point, they’ll create a repulsive vibe strong enough to drive women away EVERY SINGLE TIME.

But you don’t have to go down this lonely road. I can show you a DIFFERENT path that will make your friends jealous from all the success you’ll enjoy with women.

There’s a dead simple method to getting this done, and I’ll show you the QUICKEST way to make it happen.

For a LIMITED time, I’m running a marketing test for a program that I’ve got in the works.

What that means is that I’m giving it away for FREE so you can achieve the results you want with women. After all the slots have been filled up, I’m going to release this as a PAID program (which will be worth thousands of dollars!).

With my help, you can STOP feeling that universal fear that men have whenever they go out to meet women.

You don’t have to be like those other guys – plus, you’ll ACTUALLY have FUN walking up to a complete stranger and getting her number.

That said, check out this offer because it won’t be up forever. All you need to do is click HERE to get started.

The post REVEALED: Meet Women WITHOUT Getting Shot Down appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Some of it, I have to be clear, is shocking and disheartening.

Make sure you leave a comment here on it and let me know what you think.

Here’s an excerpt:

“Men say the gap between what women say and what they do has never been wider. Men are constantly told they should be delicate, sensitive fellow travellers on the feminist path.

But the same women who say they want a nice, unthreatening boyfriend go home and swoon over simple-minded, giant-chested, testosterone-saturated hunks in Game of Thrones. Men know this, and, for some, this giant inconsistency makes the whole game look too much like hard work.

Why bother trying to work out what a woman wants, when you can play sports, masturbate or just play video games from the comfort of your bedroom?”

What do you think?

Stay Alpha,

– Carlos Xuma

—

Title: The Sexodus, Part 1: The Men Giving Up On Women And Checking Out Of Society

“My generation of boys is f**ked,” says Rupert, a young German video game enthusiast I’ve been getting to know over the past few months.

“Marriage is dead. Divorce means you’re screwed for life. Women have given up on monogamy, which makes them uninteresting to us for any serious relationship or raising a family.

That’s just the way it is. Even if we take the risk, chances are the kids won’t be ours. In France, we even have to pay for the kids a wife has through adulterous affairs…

Click here – to go ahead and read the rest of the article at Breitbart.com

The post The Sexodus, Part 1: The men GIVING UP on women and checking out of society appeared first on How To Win With Women.

The situation will most likely make you feel like you have to protect your manhood. But you have to realize that fighting and aggressive behavior turns women off and there are other more subtle and classy ways on how to deal with this type of scenario.

Found this article and it’s a good read. Be enlightened…

______

Title: How To Deal With Other Guys Trying To Pick Up Your Girl

You pickup a girl and you’re hitting it off really well when suddenly some other guy approaches her trying to steal her away. To go even further you might even be dating the girl and even then, guys are still going after her.

How do you deal with these guys without looking insecure? Girl magazines would tell you to ignore these guys completely, however, sometimes you need to man up and make it clear to them that what they’re doing is disrespectful.

Before we begin telling you what to do, we’re going to start by telling you WHAT NOT TO DO.

1. Don’t start a fight with the other guy.

She may be a very hot girl or even your girlfriend, but unless the guy is physically attacking you or puts your girl down in a very rude/derogatory way there is no reason to put your fists up.

Don’t act like a pussy and stand up straight with your neck up high. But, fighting should be the last resort because…

Click here – to go and read the rest of the article at Simplepickup.com

The post How To Deal With Other Guys Trying To Pick Up Your Girl appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Fornication. Week after week. How does he do it? And how can you start improving self confidence?

So how do you do it? How is improving self confidence up until the level of Hank Moody done so you TOO can get as many fornication (that’s sex, dude) as he gets?

Moody (played by David Duchovny in the TV show) is a writer living in LA, and despite the fact that he hates living in California and hates mostly everything about California?

He has no problem picking up his fair share of California girls. Girls like these:

Hank’s a boy stuck in a 30+ year old body, sarcastic, and downright disrespectful.

But this gives him a certain charm. It gives him his self confidence. All he has to do is put on his signature jeans and black T-shirt, and he’ll pick up the first attractive girl he runs into.

It’s so easy for Hank Moody…but why? Because he’s extremely self confident around women. And you’ll be too, after you read this blog post on improving self confidence (and thanks to Moody of course)

Like most guys you’re probably not like Hank Moody though. Like someone who picks up women as soon as he falls out of bed.

You’re probably a little insecure, don’t know what to say, and don’t know what to do around women. You DO want to be like Hank though, don’t you? Of course, you do!

Who wouldn’t? It sucks to feel insecure! That’s why you need to start improving self confidence.

And what if I told you that Hank has the key to solving your insecurities? What if he could give you the key to improving self confidence?

Let’s get down to business and see why Hank Moody is so successful with women, and why this is the key to improving self confidence, yes, YOUR self confidence!

Improving Self Confidence: Indifference Is Key

First, let’s get some misconceptions out of the way. You might think that only guys with a perfect job, a perfect car, and a perfect life can be confident around women.

Here’s where Hank Moody will prove you wrong when it comes to improving self confidence and confidence in general.

Hank’s life is far from perfect. He hates living in LA. He hates the shitty writing job he had to accept because he’s been too blocked to write anything else.

Plus, the woman he wants to be with doesn’t want to be with him 9 out of 10 times. But whatever he sets outs to do, he goes about it with supreme indifference.

He’s essentially laid back, he cracks jokes all the time even on the darkest days, and he makes women laugh. When he’s with a woman, there’s no life and death issue hanging in the balance, he just enjoys the moment.

He doesn’t worry whether he’ll get a girl he finds attractive. He just does it.

Moral of the story: nut up or shut up. Do less thinking and more doing. Improving self confidence starts with a “mental time-out”.

Stop worrying so much. Start relaxing. Enjoy the moment dude! If a woman ends up not being interested, then there’s another moment right after it. Know what I mean?

If you want to start improving self confidence, then start chilling like Hank does:

I have had drinks thrown in my face (couple times), and have even been punched in the face (by the boyfriend, once)… but I have never DIED from approaching women.

It’s no life or death situation, so do it, you’ll live… and realize it’s less scary the more you do it, so then you go ahead and do it some more!

Action becomes a habit, a habit becomes your character, and your character becomes your destiny. Do you see now why focusing on taking action is the start of improving self confidence, of improving your life?

Onward…

Start Improving Self Confidence By F-ing Socializing!

Hank Moody goes out and meets people. All the time. Everywhere.

He can start a conversation with anyone about any topic. This really improves his chances around women.

And this is why he can pick up a surfer girl at a supermarket or a lawyer at an elegant fundraising event.

He feels comfortable talking to people from all walks of life, and it shows.

The “improving self confidence secret” here: the more different people you hang out with and the more different situations you find yourself in, the more you get used to anything that COULD happen.

In a few words, take enough action and you’ll get a thick skin, become less scared, and therefore approach more women… and ultimately date more women.

Want me to be honest with you for a sec?

I’ve seen so many different types of weirdo’s, boyfriends, female friends and male friends , parents, brothers and sisters, class clowns, pussies, and bad boys that I couldn’t care less anymore.

I’m not impressed anymore. Ever. Same goes for types of women. Seen them all. Been there, done that. This is why Hank Moody can be so indifferent. He’s just like me.

The sole reason for me and Hank not being scared, is because we’ve gotten used to pretty much everything that could possibly happen just by taking continuous action.

So, start taking continuous action to start improving self confidence already!

Moving on…

A Juicy Secret About Improving Self Confidence

Before we continue, I want to reveal quick wins for improving self confidence that you can start using today!

Here we go with the quick tips for improving self confidence…

– Improving self confidence means improving your opinion of yourself in such a way that you can take control of your own life by saying “NO” to other people determining where your life is going

– Improving self confidence means standing up for your own opinion, even if the entire room may disagree

– Improving self confidence means feeling comfortable around women no matter how good they look or what they do and say

– Improving self confidence means that YOU are the only one that determines how you feel. No matter what others say or do, you keep feeling great and keep feeling good about yourself.

And right about now you may wonder: how can I pull all of this off? Keep reading to find out…

Improving Self Confidence By Being As Ballsy As Hank Moody

Hank gets away with the most outrageous things. What else can you expect from a guy who says: “I won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister”?

How does he have the balls to say some of the things he says?

There’s no other secret other than the fact that he just does it. Without blinking or hesitating. He just speaks his mind.

You see, most guys don’t realize that the key to improving self confidence is simply doing what you feel like doing.

Taking action. Going for it. If it’s on your mind, say it. And say it like you mean it, not like you have to ask for permission to say it, or doubting whether you should say it at all.

You’ll be surprised about what you can get away with…

And hey, you want to talk to a girl? Do it! Don’t put so much thought into what you should say, what she’ll say, or into thinking she won’t be interested.

Do you think Hank was born with this unshakable self confidence? That improving self confidence as not necessary for him?

No way! It probably took him years to reach this level of confidence.

So the more you do it? The more you get out there and start talking to women? The more confident you’ll get. Because an action becomes a habit, a habit your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

If you need a little help with your self confidence and starting conversations because you don’t know the what, how, when, and where, then don’t worry my friend because I have a whole bunch of other free tips waiting for you inside my Inner Game Newsletter. So, what are you waiting for?

Get more tips right away

And remember: improving self confidence is a matter of taking continuous action, and of watching more Californication starring Hank Moody of course!

I talk about taking action a lot but I really wanted to emphasize it today, and what better way then to use one of everybody’s favorite womanizers?

Hope you liked my tips for improving self confidence man.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. What you\'ve learned today is only the tip of the iceberg of what most men will never know about women and dating. And if you want to know more about how to meet women without much effort, then get instant access to more tips by signing up for our FREE Inner Game Insider.

The post Improving Self Confidence With Hank Moody appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Let’s find out if you’re too scared to approach a girl you like! And then let’s do something about it, so you’ll know how to approach a girl you like, and get her number too, from this day forward.

But before I show you how to approach a girl you like though, it’s time to ask tough questions about approaching girls…

– Do you feel you don’t have the courage to step up to a girl you find attractive?
– Are you confused about what to say, even if you would grow the balls to approach?
– Do you freeze, get all tongue-tied and eventually give up when you try to start a conversation?
– Are you so scared she’ll reject you, that you decide to never approach her?
– Do you feel like you can’t take any more rejection?
– Are you clueless about how to approach a girl you like?

If this is you, then I have to say: I know where you’re coming from. I was so frustrated with my fear of approaching girls that I at one time made a sport of throwing things around in my house.

But let me be honest with you: if you don’t face your fear of approaching girls, you’ll never get to know how to approach a girl you like. And you don’t want that, right?

And if you want to know how to approach a girl you like, you must know something else first…

You must know how to approach a girl you like in a way that creates MASSIVE amounts of attraction. And how do you create attraction, you ask? Good question!

If you want to approach a girl you like and get her number, then you must first create attraction by displaying character traits that girls find attractive.

Let me repeat that in a slightly different way:

There is no money, fame, power or any of that other macho bullshit in the real dating game. Why? Because girls are attracted to a man’s personality and charisma. Approaching girls successfully means showing your personality.

And doing that well all starts with a simple question…

Are you one of those scumbags who uses the same line again and again to approach every single girl you like?

Because although the girl you like may be hearing this line for the first time, she’ll know it’s something you use for every girl. That’s why it will never work.

Why?

Hint: pick up lines are too damn impersonal. Girls want a guy who’s genuinely interested in them, not a scumbag who randomly approaches chicks and thinks he’s smooth.

Knowing how to approach a girl you like is not like knowing how to fish man: you can’t throw some lines out there and expect girls to take the bait!

Because what you’re actually saying with a cheezy line is that you think there’s nothing special about her. Because if you would? You would’ve shown a genuine interest by mentioning something you can only say about her.

In other words: you just insulted her. Ouch! That’s not how to approach a girl you like!

The character trait that you’ll be displaying in this case is actually a LACK of character.

So, what ARE the character traits that the ladies like then? But more importantly, how to approach a girl you like through one of these characters traits?

How To Approach A Girl You Like Tip #1: Be Indifferent

Let’s get one thing straight here about how to approach a girl you like with indifference…

Being indifferent doesn’t mean you don’t give a shit about a girl. Dude, that would be the opposite of showing a genuine interest in her now, wouldn’t it? That’s not how to approach a girl you like!

Being indifferent means you don’t attach ANY value to the first thing you say. It means that there’s no life or death situation here. There’s nothing major hanging in the balance.

Men give way too much importance to the first thing that comes out of their mouths. And that’s when they make themselves look like complete IDIOTS.

When you want to know how to approach a girl you like, remember that it’s never about what you say. It’s all about how you REACT to what SHE is saying!

And by being indifferent and making the most of whatever she’s saying, you’re telling her: “Hey, I just wanted to say hi and see if you wanted to talk, but if you don’t it’s ok.”

And girls love that because it creates a much more relaxed atmosphere. You’re making them feel comfortable and like they can just have fun for a change. Now THAT is how to approach a girl you like right there.

Being indifferent about what will happen and about what you say creates attraction, because most men completely focus on what they’re doing (wrong) instead of on the actual hottie they’re talking to. Focus on her, not on yourself.

Are you nervous when you approach a girl you like? If so, then now you know it’s time to unlearn it. Once you do, the girls will come to you. Trust me!

How to Approach A Girl You Like Tip #2: Be The Playful Teaser

If you’re not the kind of guy who naturally makes jokes and teases people, you may have to practice a bit with others, like family members or girls who are just your friends.

Hell, the world is gonna hate me for saying this, but: practice teasing everyone you meet, no matter where you are! The more you practice, the faster you’ll learn.

Let’s illustrate what playful teasing is all about with some examples:

You: “Hey there, what’s your name?”
She: “Emmm…”
You: “Emmm? Please say that’s not your real name because if it is, then your parents should be sent to prison for being SO lazy… that they gave you a letter of the alphabet as a name instead of an actual, real name like normal people have!”

And then there’s making fun of her real name. That’s another way of teasing well and a must know if you want to learn how to approach a girl you like.

You: “Hi! What’s your name?”
She: “Bree.”
You: “Brie? Isn’t that some kind of French cheese? I think I had some at my cousin’s wedding, but it tasted like garbage and smelled real nasty. I hope you’re better than the wedding brie, miss Bree!”

How to Approach a Girl You Like Tip #3: Observe, Observe!

Another great (and very easy) way to approach a girl you like is by observing.

Let’s say you see a girl who is leaning against a wall, with her arms crossed and looking annoyed. You walk up to her and say:

“Let me guess. You’re waiting for someone who doesn’t have the manners to text you to let you know he’s running a little late. Either that, or you are bored out of your freaking mind. Either way, why don’t you come have a drink with me instead? I’ll be your entertainment for the evening!”

Look around you man.

Chances are you’ll see girls who are looking for something, chicks who are lost, girls who look bored, ladies who are trying to get you to notice them…

And all you have to do is approach a girl and use what you have observed about her current status. So talk about how she looks, what you think she’s doing, etc.

Let’s look at another example of how to approach a girl you like by using her current status…

You see a woman who curses at the bus or train she just missed. Why not comment on it? Why not make a comment like:

“Let me guess. Alarm clock didn’t go off, so you overslept and now you’re late for work. Alarm clocks are little bitches with the worst timing in the world, aren’t they?”

Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong about your observation. But you’ll sure as hell put a smile on her face and have a fun conversation with her!

And here’s another juicy secret about how to approach a girl you like:

The best way to overcome your fear of approaching girls is by doing what works best with fears: you face them, take a stab at getting rid of them, and if you stab long enough they’re gone forever.

So, in a way, getting rid of your fear of approaching girls is much like a stereotypical movie about Italian Americans who have lots and lots of space for human body parts in the trunk of their cars…

Sorry for the picture I just painted for you, old movie junkie habit. Hehe. But I have to make this lesson on how to approach a girl you like as vivid as possible for you, so you’ll remember it when you need it.

Anyways, when it comes to approaching girls you should start by practicing on girls you aren’t attracted to. It will help you make so much progress, simply because a large part of your fear of approaching girls is caused by…

You not feeling comfortable around girls. Around ANY kind of girl.

The more you approach, the more confident you’ll feel because approaching girls won’t be something unknown and scary anymore.

And if you want to discover more about how to approach a girl you like (and trust me: there are LOT more things to know), then gain instant access to more free tips by signing up for the Inner Game Newsletter right away…

Thanks to the insights inside, approaching will become second nature to you.

And before you know it, you know how to approach a girl you like almost with your eyes closed! Hell, it will be easier for you than getting up in the morning. Don’t you just HATE mornings?

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this post on how to approach a girl you like!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. What you\'ve learned today is only the tip of the iceberg of what most men will never know about women and dating. And if you want to know more about how to meet women without much effort, then I highly recommend you get our FREE Inner Game Newsletter right away. Click here now to get more free tricks, tips, and strategies!

The post How To Approach A Girl You Like And Leave Your Fears Behind appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Are you one of them? Do you want to know how to improve confidence?

Then consider yourself lucky to be reading this post on how to improve confidence, because I’ve travelled down the road you’re taking right now years ago. I KNOW what’s wrong. I know why you can’t win with women:

You don’t know how to improve confidence because you don’t know what you want, you don’t set some goals for yourself, and you don’t realize that life’s a flywheel yet.

I can almost hear you think: “Dude! You make it sound real easy now, but it’s not!”

I know it isn’t… but it will be once you know how to improve confidence with my 3 steps!

How To Improve Confidence Step 1: Know What You Want

If I would ask you what your type of woman looks like, what she likes, and what the best place to find her is… would you be able to tell me?

I’m willing to bet you that your answer is no or that you’re not sure. That’s a big problem!

If you want to know how to improve confidence, then you have to know exactly what you want so you can’t get as desperate as this:

When you don’t know where to start with meeting women, YOUR type of women, you get more desperate the longer you’re on the look out for “miss right”.

Makes sense, right? Meanwhile, women are turned off by desperate men BIG TIME.

And this is where how to improve confidence gets pretty damn interesting:

These researchers did a study where they asked two groups of people to walk through the city center. They told group 1 to bring along anything interesting they would find on the sidewalk, while they told the second group to bring along every nickel they would find on the sidewalk.

Guess which group brought back more nickels? The second group! I think they found ten times as much nickels as the first group. Do you see where I’m going with this?

The pickier you get, the easier and the more women you’ll find that are 100% your type.

And a big part of how to improve confidence is quitting the whole desperate act.

And, put simply, you won’t be desperate anymore when you can find your type of woman everywhere…

Try it today or tomorrow: go to the city center and find as many women that are wearing something red as possible. Then tell me afterwards: there were way more than you had expected, right?

How To Improve Confidence Step 2: Set Goals For Yourself

Imagine you’re the captain of a pirate ship sailing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in the 1700’s. The ship’s crew asks you where you want to go.

Today you tell them to go west. Tomorrow it’s north. Then it’s a little bit south. Will you ever get to America this way?

I’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say: hell no! But meanwhile?

This is how the need to learn how to improve confidence never gets fulfilled:

You have no directions to go in, no goals, so you will probably never achieve anything worthwhile. Because you have no directions, you’ll doubt every move you make because you don’t know if it’s one in the right direction! And the doubts will start to stack inside you… making you even more insecure…

And you’ll settle for less when you keep doing this instead of getting what you want.

So if you want to know how to improve confidence, then set some freaking goals for yourself!

Setting goals shouldn’t be difficult after figuring out what the type of woman is you could fall for. All you have to do is map the road ahead so you’ll get there.

Example: you want to know how to improve confidence so you can meet and date a Latina who’s into art. Let’s pretend that’s your type of woman. Then your goals would be:

– Find all the Latin artists in the area, then meet and befriend 5 of them
– Date one of the female artists and ask a male artist to introduce you to one of his friends
– And so on

Goals help you stay focused. They make sure you’re hitting the right “target” so you won’t go out to pick up random chicks, but to pick up the women that are your type.

Setting goals for yourself does wonders for your confidence, because your goals are bound to start motivating you to continue:

(Using the example from before)

Once you’ve befriended those 5 Latin artists you feel awesome. You’ll want to befriend more…

Once you dated a female artist or a female friend of an artist, you’ll want to date more…

And instead of becoming desperate, you taught yourself how to improve confidence by setting increasingly challenging goals for yourself.

Goals motivate you more and more every day and keep you thinking about achieving, rather than how you should be nervous because you’re going on a date.

How To Improve Confidence Step 3: Life’s A Flywheel

Most guys forget all about dating for months or years on end because they don’t see “real” results. This is why they quit learning how to improve confidence:

They simply gave up. Their confidence and spirit have been broken. They tried to meet and date women but convinced themselves that they weren’t making progress fast enough.

Are you one of them?

If so, then let me quote Jim Collins (author of From Good To Great) so I can teach you what knowing how to improve confidence is all about:

“Picture a huge, heavy flywheel. A massive metal disk mounted horizontally on an axle, about thirty feet in diameter, two feet thick, and weighing about 5,000 pounds. Now imagine that your task is to get the flywheel rotating on the axle as fast and for as long as possible.

Pushing with great effort, you get the flywheel to inch forward, moving almost imperceptibly at first. You keep pushing and after two or three hours of persistent effort, you get the flywheel to complete one entire turn.

You keep pushing and the flywheel begins to move a bit faster, and with continued great effort, you move it round a second rotation. You keep pushing in a consistent direction.

Three turns, four, five, six… the flywheel builds up speed… seven, eight… you keep pushing… nine, ten… it builds momentum… eleven, twelve… moving faster with each turn… twenty, thirty, fifty… a hundred.

Then at some point: breakthrough! The momentum of the thing kicks in your favor… its own weight working for you. You’re pushing no harder than the first rotation, but the flywheel goes faster and faster.

Each turn of the flywheel builds upon work done earlier, compounding your investment of effort. The huge heavy disk flies forward with almost unstoppable momentum.

Now suppose someone came along and asked: “What was the one big push that caused this thing to go so fast?” You wouldn’t be able to answer. Was it the first push? The second? The twentieth? The hundredth push?

No! It was all of them added together in an overall accumulation of effort applied in a consistent direction.”

That’s how to improve confidence: never give up. Keep going at it…

Keep approaching women. Keep meeting women. Every action no matter how small counts, because all of your small actions combined together will inevitably give you dating success.

That’s why taking action is important, especially if you want to know how to improve confidence.

Start using the 3 steps for how to improve confidence right now and you’ll start feeling better and better about yourself within days.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. What you\'ve learned today is only the tip of the iceberg of what most men will never know about women and dating. And if you want to know more about how to meet women without much effort, then I highly recommend you get our FREE Inner Game Newsletter right away. Click here now to get more free tricks, tips, and strategies!

The post How To Improve Confidence: Improve Your Confidence In 3 Easy Steps appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Earlier this week one of my friends and customers Dave told me he had a problem with a bad boy trying to steal his girlfriend. The bad boy is actually her ex. It was a problem alright, because his girlfriend admitted that bad boys always have power over her.

And the brutal truth is: all bad boys have power over all women to a certain degree! If you don’t know why, I highly recommend you check out my blog post about why bad boys are so attractive.

If you know already why bad boys are so attractive to women, then keep reading below…

If you ever lost a girlfriend or a woman you were interested in to a bad boy? Then you’ll LOVE what you’re about to learn…

In the next few minutes I’ll show you how to win from bad boys every single time you try to “get the girl”… OR… “keep the girl”

Ever heard of that movie Revenge Of The Nerds? Well, this blog post is going to be my “Revenge Of The Nice Guys”… so eat sh*t and die from now on bad boys, lol! Here’s how to get with a girl no matter how many bad boys she knows…

Every guy that has become a bad boy not by learning, but on his own? Every bad boy has weaknesses. You’re about to find out what those weaknesses are…

The Origin Of The Bad Boy

As I told my customer Dave: 95% of all human behavior takes place on a subconscious level. Most of the time you do stuff without knowing WHY, whether you like it or not. That subsconcious behavior takes place in the form of habits. But that subsconcious stuff also takes place in the form of psychological drives.

And guess what?

One of the MAJOR psychological drives of the bad boy is the relationship he has with his mother. The status of that relationship (especially during his childhood years) drives a LOT if not ALL of his behavior today. It especially determines how he behaves around women.

Every single bad boy I’ve ever seen or befriended had a BAD relationship with his mother. It’s always bad because of one of these 2 situations:

1) A bad boy’s mother was never around or not around a lot. This makes him feel neglected. This makes him want to get as much attention from women as possible, because he never got enough attention when he was a child. The moment woman A can’t give him the attention he wants, he’ll start talking to woman B to still get that attention.

OR…

2) A bad boy’s mother was very dominant, so controlling. This makes him want to avoid EVERY situation where a woman has any kind of control over him: relationships. He starts avoiding any kind of commitment because it reminds him of his too dominant mother…

So bad boys don’t attract and sleep with as many women as possible because they WANT TO… but because they MUST.

From a psychological perspective, they absolutely must get the attention from women they need OR avoid any kind of control women try to have over him.

And the funny thing is: they don’t KNOW they act how they act because of the relationship they have with their mothers. They don’t even know WHAT they’re doing. All they think is that they’re being themselves, while in reality this bad relationship with 1 woman (mommy) determines ALL relationships they ever have with women.

They are victims of their own childhood as much as the women they date are victims of it…

After you learned all this about how bad boys are created, do you still think they are all powerful?

No? Good! Because deep inside, bad boys are all little BOYS that crave recognition from women. That’s not tough, it’s sad.

The ultimate proof: the moment a bad boy DOES meet a woman he really likes? He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He won’t know how to behave anymore. He will probably be more desperate than the nice guys who always seem to finish last with women…

I’ve seen this stuff happen time, after time, after time…

And I was a typical bad boy too once. I have a very dominant mother…

But there’s a big difference between me and typical bad boys: I conquered my fear of commitment. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 years now and I’ve never cheated on her once or even thought about it. I conquered the bad boy in me although I still have all the personality traits that make a bad boy attractive…

Be Different And You’ll Win…

If you remember the blog post I wrote about why bad boys are so attractive, I mentioned that bad boys give women an escape.

Women KNOW what they have with a bad boy won’t last. They KNOW it’s temporary. They know he’ll leave them for another woman. But he gives them an escape from the boring daily life without ANY excitement, danger, or risk whatsoever.

And that’s a weakness of the bad boy right there.

Most women want something that lasts, a relationship. They know a bad boy can’t give them that. So if you let women know you’re here to stay, not intimidated by other interested men and give them romance? They know you want to make it last too.

But part of the seductive power of the bad boy is his ability to excite. He creates a sense of danger, risk… so you need to bring that to the table too or you’ll be seen as the boring dude who can never excite any woman… ever.

And a simple way to do that without pretending to be someone you’re not, is using your biggest strengths. Women fell for you because of your strengths…

So, ask yourself: what is my biggest strength?

Dave for example, the guy that started all this, is very spontaneous. His girlfriend loves it. It’s what creates the most attraction, so I told him to start being more spontaneous. Way more than ever. It will make him stand out more and more as his girlfriend’s jealous, bad boy ex keeps doing the same stuf he always did…

Because you let women know you’re here to stay, you’re different from bad boys. And because of it, they start to think of YOUR strengths as different from what a bad boy is like as well…

And then? Then HE’LL be boring because he’s the same as usual. A boring bad boy doesn’t exist, so he’ll lose his power over a woman. Et voila: using the strength of the bad boy against him to win from him.

If All Other Stuff Fails…

And if all else fails when you’re up against bad boys? Then the best advice on what to do against bad boys I can give you is:

If you can’t beat them, join them…

And I’ve got some questions for you that you can answer in a comment if you want. Don’t be afraid to share your opinion with the world dude. Here are my questions:

1) Be honest… have you ever lost a woman to a bad boy? Why? And how?
2) Have you ever won from a bad boy that tried to get your girlfriend or the woman you were interested in? No? Then will you start using these tips so you will win from now on?

I’m ending this by saying:

This caffein junkie is switching from coffee to Redbull today. And you know what? Some people HATE on Redbull because it looks like (and has the color of) piss, but to me?

To me Redbull is yellow gold. It sharpens my sword, it starts my engine… but what do I know right? I’m just a poor old junkie who can’t stop drinking ANYTHING that contains caffein: coffee, energy drinks…. but I’ll shut up now.

And remember: you can win from bad boys any time you want. Because how can you beat someone who never quits? You can’t, so never stop trying!

Before I forget: why not study bad boys so you have an idea of what you’re dealing with? Check out my blog post with Barney Stinson tips to pick up chicks to learn from a master bad boy, Barney Stinson.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Looking for more tips on how to improve your confidence... or how to approach women, oh so beautiful women? And do you want tips for how to create attraction as well? Then the tips inside my Inner Game Newsletter might be just what you need. Click here now to find out more!

The post What To Do Against Bad Boys… appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Single men all over the planet have been disagreeing about it for dozens of years: women and compliments, they go hand in hand. No they don’t, etc. It’s about time we end the debate, wouldn’t you agree?

NO… this won’t be a let love in, gayish speech. This blog post about women and compliments right here will give you no-nonsense advice on when to use compliments.

So, do women and compliments go hand in hand? Or do compliments make women run away from you as fast as they freaking can?

First things first: let’s talk about the mistakes most single men make when they want to know how to get that girl they’re after… and throw billions of compliments at her!

This is familiar stuff for the critics, but keep on reading if you’re one of them because I do present new stuff…

Women And Compliments Mistake #1: You’re Not A Cannon…

A lot of men ask me why a woman just want to be friends with them after they were open to her about how they feel. Others ask me why a woman doesn’t want to give her phone number to them.

I don’t want YOU to belong to one of these 2 groups, so here’s my answer:

You’re trying to buy her approval, but that doesn’t work. AT ALL. You’re not a compliment cannon. That’s not how women and compliments work.

Example of a conversation of a compliment cannon:

He (drewl drewl): “Hi! Oh my god, you’re so hot!”
She: “Uhh hi.. thanks!”
He: “Is heaven missing an angel?”
She: “oh my god… you did noooot just say that. Whateverrrr!” (walks away)

You can’t get a woman to like you by giving her compliments every time you get a chance, that’s not how compliments work on women. Over-complimenting is much like buying her flowers, gifts, dinner, etc.

That’s not how women and compliments work. Why?

If a woman sees you’re trying to buy her approval, she’ll think:

“You wouldn’t need to buy my approval if there was nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with you! You’re trying to make up for it by giving me gifts!”

AND…

“Are you so insecure that you can only express your interest with material things? Are you so insecure that you think I won’t fall in love with you, but will fall in love with your gifts?”

Not good.

So the “rules of the women and compliments game” here are:

– Don’t compliment women too much: 5 on 1 day is more than enough. Five to ten per minute or hour is being desperate, insecure, and trying to make up for your flaws with gifts.

– Don’t compliment women from the start: women fall in love with men that have charisma and personality, not men who buy their approval. Those are the ones that end up becoming her friends.

Onward…

Women And Compliments Mistake #2: Don’t Be Random

Most single men give too many compliments and compliment from the start. You know that now. But it gets worse…

QUESTION.

What is YOUR definition of a good compliment?

– You look beautiful/amazing/gorgeous/hot/sexy? WRONG!

– Is heaven missing an angel/are you a thief because you stole my heart/I can just drown in your eyes? WRONG!

Why is this not the way women and compliments go hand in hand?

Because you can give them to ANY woman. The best compliments you can ever give are the unique ones. The stuff you can only say about her, because that truly makes her feel special.

Giving a random comment (or using a pick up line) is the stuff she hears all the time. Been there, done that. Not impressed. That’s what she’ll think.

Do compliments work then?

YES, women and compliments CAN go hand in hand because a compliment shows a woman that you have a sexual interest in her. Teasing is great, but you need to let a woman know: I’m interested in you… no not that way, but THAT way.

A compliment is one of the most direct tools to voice your sexual interest with.

Again, that’s only when done right and most single men don’t know how to give compliments the right way!

Now, let’s look at some examples of GREAT compliments…

1) If she’s wearing very noticeable, red clothing (red heels, red purse, red shawl, etc.)?

“You’re cute in red… because you’re the sexiest matador I have ever seen!”
In case you didn’t know: matadors are those guys in Spain that hold a red curtain to attract the bull and then avoid him just before the bull hits them with his horns.

Lots of dirty talk about horns is welcome too here. Get started with that teasing! Because that’s what makes women and compliments go well together…

2) If she has those big eyes with a twinkle in it, playful eyes:

“Did you know that you have that look in your eyes like you know more than the rest of us? What are you hiding miss playful eyes?”

As you can see: a good compliment is playful and unique (about the woman you’re talking to).

But prepare yourself for women and compliments…

Because possible side effects she’ll experience may include blushing, giggling, and getting shy!

The #1 Secret To How Women And Compliments Work…

Too much, too fast, too general compliments. Ouch! Those are three ways to screw up your chances with women.

But the #1 secret to how women and compliments work is a little known secret… this little thing called “timing”.

I know from experience after dating lots of women… and after coaching 600+ men during the last 2 years… that every compliment needs a good set up. Just like jokes do.

The moment you create attraction BEFORE you give a compliment, is the moment you “get the girl”.

I’m not kidding…

If you are being selective, playfully teasing her, being mysterious, being dominant, or displaying any of the other character traits first?

She’ll already be interested in getting to know you better…

But if you give her a great compliment after showing her your personality?

That will be the day she goes home after meeting you, calls her best girlfriend, and talks about how hot you are for minutes if not hours.

Again, I’m not kidding!

Why do women and compliments work that way?

Because women fall for personality and if you show your personality? They’ll be interested, but they aren’t sure if YOU are interested too.

So by giving a great compliment?

They’ll know… and now they want something to happen because they’re interested and you’re too. Now they will want that kiss to happen, and maybe even more too…

That’s called anticipation. And anticipation is just what you want her to feel before she goes on a date with you… you want her to look forward to it and fantasize about what it’s like to be with you.

SCORE! This is just one of many examples of why women and compliments work well together… when you use compliments properly that is.

This personality-compliment system works even better if you use what I call the Pareto Reversal when she wants something to happen between you two. But, more on that in another blog post!

In short: compliments do work on women, but when done in the right way and at the right time. And one things is for damn sure. It’s that most single men don’t have a clue how giving a good compliments is done, because they mostly sound like drewling *ssholes that are not sincere.

What a surprising ending to this blog post about women and compliments: it’s GAME OVER for both the romantics and the critics, because they’re both only half right!

Some questions for the comments! Do share your opinion on women and compliments

1) Are you a romantic who believes in compliments and women? Or are you a critic?
2) What is your definition of a good compliment?

By all means: share it with the world bro!

One of my wisdom teeth is killing me right now, so if you don’t mind? I’m diving into my “liquor cabinet” to drink away the pain. Have to wait until Wednesday to get it fixed. Lame!

But I’m willing to bet that women and compliments still go well together, even if I give them with a swollen mouth… because I’m just that confident. Plus, I’m kinda hot too.

Anyways, hope you liked my thoughts on women and compliments!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Want more free tips about what I\\'ve talked about today? About raising your confidence through the roof, meeting girls anywhere & anytime, creating raw sexual attraction, and more? Make sure you get your secrets, ebooks, and email updates by signing up for my newsletter below NOW. Remember, it only takes 60 seconds to get more strategies and stealth sexual tactics, so do it. Sign up below.

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The post Women And Compliments – Do Compliments Work? appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Why? So YOU won’t make the same mistakes as they’ve made of course!

I’ve coached over 600+ men with achieving dating success in 2008 and 2009 combined… and the moment I told them about these things not do? Was the moment they started getting a LOT more results with women, because everything gets much easier once you handle the fear of walking up to a woman to start a conversation.

Here’s the juicy secret: you’ll find out that women aren’t that scary once you actually start talking to them.

Anyways, here’s my top 10 things NOT to do when approaching women…

#1 Don’t Do A “Random Pick Up”
This one deserves the number one spot of most common mistakes of approaching women, hands down!

You see, women absolutely LOVE bad boys for lots of reasons… but they HATE players. Better said: no one wants to feel like they’re not important, like they don’t matter, like they’re far from unique and just one out of many… and women are no different. They don’t want to be the random chick you picked up at a bar.

That’s why pick up lines and vague compliments (example: “you’re so hot!”) never work with women, because they know you can use them on ANY woman, which makes it a whole bunch of pretty sounding crap to them.

Women want a man that has a genuine interest in them, so, someone who gives compliments about who they are as a person or their specific physique… and someone who seduces them with the stuff they’re interested in (hobbies, fantasies, ambitions, passions, etc.). So, don’t do a random pick up. Do a genuine pick up.

#2 Don’t Over Think It
A lot of men have problems with finding something witty to say to the women they encounter and want to approach. By the time they’ve thought of something “cool” to tell a woman? She’s already gone or talking to someone else.

Don’t be one of those guys, because sometimes… sometimes saying “Hi” is all you’ll ever need to do to start a fun, exciting conversation with a woman that easily leads to getting her phone number.

#3 She’s Not A Magical Princess, But Just Another Human Being
99% of the men out there view the woman they take out on a date as “miss right” and thus the woman they approach as a future miss right, while women think of men more casually… more along the lines of “let’s see where this goes.”

Major problem: thinking the woman you’re about to approach is your future miss right is putting a lot of pressure on yourself and I can almost guarantee you: you’ll act nervous, won’t know what to say and there will be plenty of awkward silences.

So, don’t see the woman you’re approaching as a magical princess, but just another human being.

Here’s the juicy secret of how to get that girl without effort: an easy way to program yourself into believing this is remembering that every woman has insecurities. While you may see a certain woman as absolutely freaking hot, cutest face ever, nice tits and ass… she herself?

Is insecure about her thighs, her eyebrows, her feet… and beauty can be a curse too: she fears men won’t like her for who she is, but for her looks alone which makes her even more insecure. So she has insecurities just like you do, she’s not almighty or anything. Like I said: she’s just another human being, not a magical princess. There’s nothing to feel intimated by.

#4 Don’t Be Awkward, Relax!
Remember the miss right thing from number 3 of the top 10 things NOT to do when approaching women? Well, I attended the Real Man Conference back in 2008 and it drives my point home of how you shouldn’t be awkward.

At the Real Man Conference several dating experts and students gathered to do their thing and learn from each other… and one of the dating experts there was Orlando Owen who was determined to show us the consequences of being awkward around women.

He got two girls from the audience and one guy and told the guy to approach one of the two girls like he normally would. Then, he asked the girls what they thought about him: they clearly saw he felt uncomfortable… and it made THEM feel uncomfortable. They literally said they felt more like walking away from him than talking to him.

Conclusion: don’t be awkward, but relax. Remember, a woman is just another human being with insecurities… AND… I can tell from experience that every single time you go out to approach women? You’ll start off rusty and it usually takes several approaches before you get your “mojo” back. You’ll get better with experience, so you just need to put in some work to have more success.

#5 Don’t Freak Out About Approaching
Most common excuse of one of my new students when I tell them to approach a cute woman: “No I won’t approach her, because she’ll know I’m approaching her with sexual intentions and reject me.”

Here’s the juicy secret: men have been approaching women successfully for millions of years, otherwise you simply wouldn’t exist. Your father successfully approached your mom, his father did the same with his mom, and so on. So, from a biological perspective? You’re SUPPOSED to approach women! It’s the one thing that ensures the survival of the species.

So, it’s okay to approach women, it’s normal… hell, women EXPECT you to approach them because you want a date out of it.

#6 Don’t Settle For Nothing
Try to get at least SOMETHING out of every conversation. A lot of men give up the war after losing 1 battle, why? Don’t get me wrong, thinking you need to hump every cute woman you ever freaking encounter is weird… you’re not a sex machine. And no, it’s not “cool” to be a sex machine that only has women but no career, money, or anything else going for himself.

But… don’t give up the war after losing 1 battle. She’s not interested in you “that way?” Then befriend her instead. I’m willing to bet she has some hot friends. She doesn’t want to give you her phone number? What about her MSN chat or Facebook instead?

Are you getting the point here?

#7 Don’t Think Groups Are The Same
Classic rookie mistake of approaching women: a woman’s with her friends, you like her so you approach her, and you ignore the rest of the group. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The other women in the group will get jealous and be sad that no man is giving THEM that much attention… so they’ll cockblock you by saying they’re tired and want to go home. And guess what? They’re taking “your” woman with them.

Here’s the juicy secret: no one wants to be ignored. Everyone wants to be at least acknowledged for existing, for being there. So, the least you can do is introducing yourself to her friends, ask their names, and talk about some random things with them. You’ll respect their presence in doing so and they’ll leave you alone 9 out of 10 times = you “get the girl”.

#8 Don’t Let Others Screw Up Your “Work”
Most men are jealous fools and try to screw up your chances with women, even if they themselves don’t stand a chance at all. Must be survival of the fittest at work there, but whatever’s the case, it’s annoying.

Your drunken friends are all over you as soon as you’re talking to a hot babe, if she’s in a group with guy friends then they’ll try to pull her away from you, random guys you and her both don’t know will try to interrupt you… and 9 out of 10 men get distracted by it and “lose the girl”.

And here’s the irony: if you would simply ignore them and keep on talking to the woman you’re interested in? Those losers will make themselves look like jealous fools, screw up their own chances instead of yours, and she won’t pay attention to them AT ALL.

So, don’t let others screw up your “work” and ignore the competition when they try to ruin things for you.

#9 Don’t Be The “One Trick Pony”
Another classic rookie mistake: did you know that women actually also exist OUTSIDE of clubs and bars? They’re everywhere, just like men are. So, don’t limit yourself to one location when it comes to approaching women. Don’t be the one trick pony, because what are you gonna do when the clubs are closed or not open yet?

Try to have at least 2 different locations: clubs and shopping malls, at work and online, whatever. You know better than I do where you can be found most of the time…

#10 Don’t Stop At Yes, “Upsell” Yourself
Does this sound familiar: woman makes eye contact with you, you approach her, you have a great time, and you ask her for her phone number? It does? Well, then you’re an idiot without even knowing it. See, most guys actually LIMIT THEIR OWN SUCCESS by asking for a phone number while they could have gone all the way with a woman the same day they met them…

Just like you should try to get at least SOMETHING out of every conversation, try to get the most out of EVERY woman that seems to be interested in you. I mean, why wait? If she’s making eye contact like crazy and all over you when you get to talking, why waste several phonecalls and dates when you can just as easily take her to your place then and there?

Life is short, so get as much as possible out of every woman that’s interested in you: “upsell” yourself after you heard and/or saw the “Yes I’m interested” signals.

=> So far for my top 10 things NOT to do when approaching women…
Or to quote that cool cartoon piggie from way back here: “th… th… th… that’s all folks!”

No wait, got another one for ya! Another don’t is NOT approaching women who are already interested, because it’s so much easier to meet and date women when you approach those already interested in you.

How can you start doing that? Simple: you’ll know who to approach when you know the signs a woman is interested in you!

I’ve got some questions for you though that I would LOVE to get some answers for:

1) Do you like the top 10? Is there anything missing in my top 10 in your opinion?
2) Which of the 10 things NOT to do… have you done in the past by accident or because of a lack of experience with women?

This movie junkie is off to watch his favorite flick of all time: Goodfellas. Call me a sucker for mobster movies, but I was raised on that stuff so I don’t care!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Looking for more tips on how to improve your confidence... or how to approach women, oh so beautiful women? And do you want tips for how to create attraction as well? Then the tips inside my Inner Game Newsletter might be just what you need. Click here now to find out more!

The post Top 10 Things NOT To Do When Approaching Women appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I´m not even going to spoil the surprise and tell you what I have to say about approaching a woman, guess you´re going to have to watch the dating tips video below!

Check it out below…

Liked the video? Yeah I knew you would!

And hey… if you want to approach women and almost always end up getting a date, then start approaching the women who are already interested in you man!

All you have to know to DOUBLE the number of dates you go on are the signs a woman is interested in you, because all you have to do when meeting interested women… is NOT screw up!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Looking for more tips on how to improve your confidence... or how to approach women, oh so beautiful women? And do you want tips for how to create attraction as well? Then the tips inside my Inner Game Newsletter might be just what you need. Click here now to find out more!

The post Approaching Women With A 100% Success Rate (Video) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Check it out below…

Did you like the tips I gave in this video about the fear of rejection? Then don’t hesitate to comment on the video below dude. I would really appreciate it!

And here’s another juicy secret about women rejecting you before I end this blog post today: you may have not been rejected at all! Why? Well, is she playing hard to get? Probably!

Check out my blog post about playing hard to get to know for sure whether you’ve been rejected, or if a chick was just playing hard to get to see if you would pass her test.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Looking for more tips on how to improve your confidence... or how to approach women, oh so beautiful women? And do you want tips for how to create attraction as well? Then get instant access to more tips by signing up for our FREE Inner Game Insider.

The post The Fear Of Rejection And What To Do About it (Video) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

Check it out below…

Want to know more about how to get that girl you’ve liked for a while now? Then stay tuned to the Win With Women blog!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. What you\'ve learned today is only the tip of the iceberg of what most men will never know about women and dating. And if you want to know more about how to meet women without much effort, then I highly recommend you get our FREE Inner Game Newsletter right away. Click here now to get more free tricks, tips, and strategies!

The post How To Improve Your Inner Game (Video) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

The first step to overcoming approach anxiety is realizing that focusing on the wrong outcome makes you even more afraid.

To be more specific: the solution to approach anxiety is NOT getting a woman’s phone number. This is actually the least important part of your conversation with her.

Why?

Because learning how to meet and date a woman is NOT about getting a phone number, that’s just a tiny little part of it.

So What IS Approach Anxiety All About?

Overcoming approach anxiety and learning how to meet women have nothing to do with getting the phone number or getting the date.

It’s about the learning itself, the path, because it’s not WHAT makes you get to the end of the road – that’s UNIMPORTANT… it’s about getting there with whatever tool you pick up along the way. If you look at a single interaction from that perspective, every single conversation with a woman – ANY woman – becomes feedback…

– It can teach you things about what you should improve in the body language department: voice tone, composure, eye contact… and other things off course

– It can teach you what you have been doing wrong and as such to what you need to pay more attention… it’s just a skill you still need to learn, so don’t blame yourself for not being able to find gold the first time you get in that goldmine, that’s being unrealistic fellas.

…Not only that, feedback can also teach you what you are doing RIGHT, and to me, personally? I aim on improving my BEST qualities, my weapons… and not try to cover up my weaknesses because no matter what kind of practice – I’d become average at best if I focus on bettering my weaknesses, while my talents are ALREADY above average… and I will became INSANELY good at them when I focus on those…

In other words: every conversation is a hidden gim onto itself, it’s feedback… so failure and rejection do not exist in that world. People look at mistakes and failure in totally the wrong way, because as you can see: they’re both part of the learning process.

Do you understand now why approach anxiety is something you let yourself have?

Overcoming Approach Anxiety – The Big Secret

If not, if you still have doubts about what I just said about approach anxiety, then here’s more:

We work in much the same way as homing missiles do: we fire away, get off course by accident, correct course and try again, and repeat this process until we hit what we we’re aiming for: our goal.

We take action, we make a mistake, we learn from it and correct course, we try again and make another mistake, and we do this until we have finally achieved our goal. And when I look at things from that perspective?

Failure and rejection only exists in your own mind because you didn’t think them through well enough, because if you need to correct course to achieve your goal anyway, isn’t it better to FAIL AS FAST AS POSSIBLE? The result is achieving your goals faster… so it’s better to fail fast because failing fast means learning fast!

This is the KEY to overcoming approach anxiety: understanding that failure actually helps you learn faster.

Several other things are CRUCIAL when you want to successfully approach girls, but don’t worry: I’ve covered them all in my blog post on how to approach a girl you like. Go and check it out!

And if you want more dating tips about approach anxiety and other topics, then I highly recommend you sign up for my dating newsletter below.

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. What you\'ve learned today is only the tip of the iceberg of what most men will never know about women and dating. And if you want to know more about how to meet women without much effort, then I highly recommend you get our FREE Inner Game Newsletter right away. Click here now to get more free tricks, tips, and strategies!

The post Overcoming Approach Anxiety Made Easy appeared first on How To Win With Women.

But first the stuff about me: I’m not perfect… and when I want something? I just have to go and get it no matter what. Usually, that works to my advantage, but it lead to one of the biggest mistakes with women I’ve made in my life too…

You see, when I was younger I got the phone number of this beautiful Turkish girl. I’m talking the perfect tan here that no sun helped create, black, perfectly curled hair, and with those juicy lips you sometimes see and just have to kiss. And then she flaked on me.

Anyways, she had ass… she had the perfect body. The stuff you would drewl over. I don’t even remember how I got her number, but I DO remember that she lived like 2 hours away from me.

But I didn’t care, because when I want something I just have to go and get it remember?

So we called and texted back and forth many late nights and I noticed something about her. I only had to create just a little bit of attraction and she would run wild and talk dirty to me.

Beautiful girl + attracted to me + horny = any man’s dream, right? I had to see her and asked her out on a date. I was pretty damn young back then  so forget cars and such, I had to travel there by train.

Got up early in the morning, like eightish, while it was a vacation day, I was so excited, wasted 2 hours on traveling there and… she never showed up. Ever had women flake out on you too?

Then you know how I felt. Things got worse though: me and my temper caused me to text her and she made fun of me for it. She was never serious about talking to me or seeing me. Seems like some women flake in advance or something, huh?

The result: getting up way too early on a vacation day, wasting at least 4 freaking hours on traveling, and a whole lot more hours and effort on talking to a girl that wasn’t even interested in me.

Instead of being bummed out about women flaking out, I swore never to let such a blow to my ego happen ever again… and it made me invent a technique for meeting women that is still giving me success to this day…

Guess it’s time to share my technique for cashing in on situations as bad as women who flake out on you.

The Multi-Target Mindset

Most men…

– Don’t even want to meet and date a woman who lives more than an hour away from them because of stories like my own that I just told you. Understandable.

– Don’t know what to do if they approach a woman who’s with a friend or with a group of friends and can’t isolate her from the group. They think being able to isolate a woman from her friends means the difference between dating her and NOT dating her. Understandable too.

– Hell, most guys don’t even dare to approach a woman who’s not alone because they’re too insecure for that. That especially goes for women who are with family. Understandable as well.

– Don’t want to wait for their date on the spot they agreed to meet with the woman, and are frustrated (just like me once) when a woman flakes out. Understandable part 4.

The answer to all of these limitations is… STOP thinking about one woman then and there.

Remember the abundance mindset? It’s when you stop thinking of beautiful woman as being scarce, hard to find, hard to get and so on because you realize that even if only 0,1% of the world’s population would be your type…

That there would still be 6 million women to date and that you would have NO time to date them all even if you had 1 date per hour your entire life!

Well, guess what? The multi-target mindset is the “evil twin” of the abundance mindset.

How The Evil Twin Works…

It’s best if I would explain with examples:

1) A girl lives 2 hours away from you, which means you’ll need to travel 4 hours to see her. You can spend those 4 hours desperately wanting to see someone you’ve never seen before… OR, instead…

– You could spend those 4 hours calling or texting EVERY other woman you’ve met until then
– You could spend those 4 hours meeting as many new women as you possibly can. Trains aren’t empty you know. Gas stations, roads and sidewalks you travel over or past aren’t empty either.

2) You approach a woman who’s with 4 of her girlfriends and you can’t isolate her so you can get her number or make out with her… so? Because you can still:

– Go all-in. Screw that one girl, instead of getting something out of her alone, why not invite the entire group to a party at your place next week? So even if you can’t get her then, you’ll get one of the others.

– Go long term. Instead of getting one girl now, you can take a look at her and her friends. Are they pretty? Or interesting? Or both? Sure they are, that’s why you approached, right? Chances are very high that the group knows other pretty and interesting girls as well, so you befriend them and have them introduce you to their hot friends. There is NO excuse for leaving ANY group of women behind without doing isolation, all-in, or long term.

3) You don’t want to wait for your date and you definitely don’t want a woman to flake on you because it’ll be a huge waste of time… oh really?

– If she isn’t there, start calling and texting other women you’ve met. Hell, if she does show up and you’re still calling or texting a bit… so? It only shows her that you actually have a life,aren’t desperate, and don’t need her to have a good time.

– Women who never show up. Experiencing it is never any fun, but you can make it less “traumatic” for yourself. Simply meet her in a city or part of town you have to go or want to go anyway. So if she doesn’t show? You can meet women on the spot, naturally, but you can also just go about your business without sweating it, feeling stupid, and blaming yourself.

If I need a new leather coat for example, the best place for me to get it is the Black Market in Beverwijk (this little village). So I’ll meet her there and that women flakes on me? I’m still getting that coat, so what do I care?

THAT’S what all men who are insanely successful with women do: they invite her along for the ride. They invite her to be a part of their exciting life for just a little while.

Totally different perspective on things than that of the regular guy: freeing up time for a girl in between getting home from work and watching your favorite TV show, wouldn’t you agree?

So… the multi-target mindset. Stop caring so much and start living it. Keep doing your own thing, women can be a part of your life for a little while and if they don’t accept the invitation? It’s THEIR loss.

One more thing: before you decide for yourself that you’re dealing with women who flake on you, use the tips in my blog post entitled Is She Playing Hard To Get: Answers To The Age Old Question so you’ll know if she flaked on you or if she was just testing you!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Want more free tips about what I\\'ve talked about today? About raising your confidence through the roof, meeting girls anywhere & anytime, creating raw sexual attraction, and more? Make sure you get your secrets, ebooks, and email updates by signing up for my newsletter below NOW. Remember, it only takes 60 seconds to get more strategies and stealth sexual tactics, so do it. Sign up below.

Free Audiobook MP3 Download! 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics - How To Attract Girls With Stealth Strategies Sneak past her defenses and get the girl - with NO resistance and NO rejection. LIMITED TIME OFFER: Just enter your email below and get your 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics Audiobook MP3...

The post Carlos Xuma On Women Who Flake On You appeared first on How To Win With Women.

This Saturday the 5th of December 2009 is actually a holiday in this little country
of mine, the Netherlands. They call it “Sinterklaas” over here, which translates into
something along the lines of St. Nicholas in English.

It’s mostly a holiday for the kids and a perfect opportunity to grab some presents
that they probably won’t get for Christmas… that’s right, those lucky little basterds
actually get to ask for presents two times every friggin’ December month!

The true meaning of this holiday lies in generosity though… being generous when
it comes to helping the poor, the sick, and just anyone who needs help.

So Why Am I Telling You This!?

Since I’m a guy that likes to party both inside AND outside clubs, holidays are
definitely my thing… and because I want to be at least just as generous as
Saint Nicholas this weekend?

Me and Win With Women have a SPECIAL DEAL for you…

Let me repeat that: if you order today, it will only cost you $50.

I already told you that with your order, you’ll also get:

Bonus #1: The Limiting Beliefs Report…
Do you think your age, your location, or the amount of free time you have limit you
when it comes to women & dating? Do you think they PREVENT you from having
the success with women you want? Then you’re going to LOVE this Report.

Bonus #2: The Value Formula Mini-Ebook…
Do you want to know more about meeting women through your social circle,
female psychology, or how you can become more successful at work or school
because of women? Or more successful socially because of women? Then you’ll love
my Value Triad… inside the Mini-Ebook.

But it gets better…

Bonus #3: All The Newsletters Of 2009…
As it so happens to be I’ve steadily been producing newsletters with dating tips
and techniques since January of this year… and all of these letters combined fill
more than 350 pages (!) of valuable insights about women & dating. You’ll get all
of these newsletters in one go, in one BIG ASS document, as part of this special
holiday deal…

But this one-time only price and third bonus-offer is only available with your
purchase right now…

Mail winwithwomen@live.nl to get more information and to get your seat.

Look, if you’re not happy with the results you’ll get after the session then I will
give you all of your money back and PAY YOU an extra $50 for wasting your time!

I guarantee it, in fact, if you don’t get the results you wanted after the session on
MSN, then I insist that you ask your money back right away…

A handful of guys has already signed up for the Early Session on Saturday and
the Late Session on Sunday and since only 20 guys can join?

You better be quick with getting your seat, because this deal lasts until this
Saturday, December 5, 2009… and afterwards the 3rd bonus and discount will
disappear and the price will be higher again.

Mail winwithwomen@live.nl to get more information and to get your seat.

And maybe I can help you soon if you take your inner issues seriously,

Your Friend Carlos Xuma,
Win With Women.

P.S. Want more free tips about what I\\'ve talked about today? About raising your confidence through the roof, meeting girls anywhere & anytime, creating raw sexual attraction, and more? Make sure you get your secrets, ebooks, and email updates by signing up for my newsletter below NOW. Remember, it only takes 60 seconds to get more strategies and stealth sexual tactics, so do it. Sign up below.

Free Audiobook MP3 Download! 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics - How To Attract Girls With Stealth Strategies Sneak past her defenses and get the girl - with NO resistance and NO rejection. LIMITED TIME OFFER: Just enter your email below and get your 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics Audiobook MP3...

P.P.S. To sweaten the deal, I’ve written a blog post with tips on how to get that girl next door or down the road, because let’s face it: don’t we ALL have a girl like that in our lives? Don’t you want to get that girl? Then read the post on how to get that girl right now!

The post Win With Women Special Holiday News (With Gifts!) appeared first on How To Win With Women.

I want to do another inner game session this weekend and do some serious and intense personal coaching for a small group of men for a small fee, and this time I’ll bring an entire arsenal of dating techniques and concepts so you too can be a master of attracting ANY woman at ANY time so well, that your friends will actually start thinking that you’re some kind of Harry Potter because you put an unbreakable spell on women… and your dating success almost seems TOO good to be true.

What’s My Personal Coaching All About?

What I can’t understand is how some dating experts out there make it really hard for the average guy to become seriously good with women. Don’t get me wrong: they DO have some very good insights and techniques to share with you and I’m sure they’re cool guys, but why ask $1000 for a seminar where someone can get personal coaching? Or $300? Because most of the time you actually have to travel there, which will cost you several hundreds of dollars ON TOP of the seminar price…. and that’s why:

– I want to personally coach you on msn, so you don’t have to travel anywhere but can get coaching from the comfort of your own home. And I’ll STAY on MSN until all of the questions you can think of have been answered, whether you ask em about body language, DHV stories, how to escalate,
conversational topics, sex, or anything else! I will do anything in my power to give you the tools that will transform you from a mud into a stud, a modern day Casanova.

– I only ask $74,99 for my personal coaching so every guy can afford it, but not only that… if you’re not happy with the results… EVER… I’ll give you all your money back + PAY YOU 50 bucks for wasting your precious time! That’s how confident I am that my personal coaching really does work.

– I will also give you my Limiting Beliefs Report which contains valuable insights for everyone who let’s his dating success be stopped by age, location, language, or money (value: $25)

– I will also give you my Value Formula Mini-Ebook which contains my techniques for combining social success, dating success, and success career wise… the secrets to how I managed to be successful in all these areas of life are in there for you to use for yourself… and it’s a must-read (value: $25)

Can I make this offer any better for you!?

Why Only A Small Group Of Dudes?

Simple: if you paid attention during the last session where more than 50 guys joined in then you saw that I couldn’t give everyone as much attention as I wanted to… and I really want to dig in deep and get all your inner issues and negative emotions to the surface and KILL them on the spot so you’ll be free to have the success with women you want. That’s why I will allow only 20 men to join this weekend’s session and after 20 lucky guys join I’ll close the doors, put a lock on them, throw away the key, and get started with turning them into master pua’s!

So if you want to join, you’d better send an email to winwithwomen@live.nl FAST.

When Will The Session Be THIS Weekend?

Since the time differences between the guys who joied me were HUGE where it was 6 AM when we stopped for some and only 3 o’ click in the afternoon for others, I want to give you the option to CHOOSE between an “early” session or a “late” session this weekend:

– The Early Session: it will start on Saturday December 5th 2009 at 4 PM Amsterdam Time (GMT +1 Time Zone)

– The Late Session: it will start on Sunday December 6th 2009 at 10 PM Amsterdam Time (GMT +1 Time Zone)

Remember: only 20 guys can join me, so decide quickly on which day you can make it and reply to this email FAST when you want to be personally coached for only $74,99 for as many hours as you need to + get the Limiting beliefs Report + get the Value Formula Mini-Ebook.

P.S. And as my gift to you – any friend of yours you bring to the session can join it with a 50% discount, so for HALF THE PRICE! That means he’ll get personal coaching for only $37,50… and if you smart you pay for the both of you so it will save YOU some money as well

So if you want to join, you’d better send an email to winwithwomen@live.nl now to reserve your seat in this weekend’s session, tell me if you will join the Early Session or the Late Session, and I’ll tell you the rest!

P.P.S. I give you a Harry Potter Guarantee – If it DOESN’T seem like your success with women is so outrageous that it’s as if you put a spell on them? I will give you ALL of your money back… no questions, no hard feelings… and I’ll actually PAY YOU $50 for wasting your time! That’s how confident I am that I can help you become a master of seduction…

So if you want to join, you’d better send an email to winwithwomen@live.nl FAST.

To A More Successful Life,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. Want more free tips about what I\\'ve talked about today? About raising your confidence through the roof, meeting girls anywhere & anytime, creating raw sexual attraction, and more? Make sure you get your secrets, ebooks, and email updates by signing up for my newsletter below NOW. Remember, it only takes 60 seconds to get more strategies and stealth sexual tactics, so do it. Sign up below.

Free Audiobook MP3 Download! 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics - How To Attract Girls With Stealth Strategies Sneak past her defenses and get the girl - with NO resistance and NO rejection. LIMITED TIME OFFER: Just enter your email below and get your 7 Ninja Attraction Tactics Audiobook MP3...

P.P.S. To sweeten the deal for you, I wrote a post about how to get that girl next door (or down the street). Most regular guys like you and me have one of those girls as a neighbor: she’s down to earth, but somehow hard to get. Well, no more! Learn the answer to the age old question: “how do you get girls to like you” today!

The post A New Inner Game Session This Weekend (Dec 5 & Dec 6 2009) appeared first on How To Win With Women.